What on earth can I do - they aren't riding her correctly!

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GreenEyedMonster

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I've left my horse behind to finish my exams and asked the groom to ride her for me whilst I was gone, I had been lead to believe that they were a competent rider but I've quickly seem this isn't the case.

The rider in question is one of the nicest people I've ever met and always wants the best for the horse but I know she hasn't ridden much recently besides riding her own very naughty horse. So I am terrified of saying that actually I don't want her riding my horse because she is so lovely, a family friend and going through personal issues ( so I thought riding my horse would cheer her up as I know she loves her).

But I've been sent a photo of her being ridden and I'm really worried now, the rider doesn't have the best of positions. she is very tense, tilted, gripping with her knees and taking a strong contact but not asking her to go from leg to hand.
In the photo my horse is in the forehand, hollow and clearly tense.

This is heartbreaking because I've spent the last few weeks if not months encouraging her to work from behind using her back and to seek the contact in her own time so that she is relaxed and happy. But this isn't happening now.


I know yesterday she was very fresh too but they didn't help her as they I don't think they made it out of trot or ignored her when she napped, I know what happened and I know from what they've said that they didn't ride her though it.

I've lost total confidence in her riding my horse because I don't actually think she understands the true meaning of leg to hand, it seems she just taking a strong contact and kicking and kicking to get her to use her back which won't work. She also ride her in very small circles despite the horse being poorly balanced - I had been using transitions and spiralling to help her.
I knew the yard have used side reins and draw reins in the past so I don't think either of them understand correct way of going but what can I do?

I can't tell someone so lovely that actually I don't want them to ride her because I don't have a good reason that won't hurt her feelings but similarly I can just see the damage they are doing to the work I have done so far.

I don't think they know what I've been doing so assume that the only way to get her round is to kick and hold but I've tried so hard to get her soft and through and supple and it's all being lost!
They don't mean any harm and they are lovely people but they are also pretty sure of themselves so if I start being bossy they will think me rude and arrogant!
What on earth do I do?!

The photo they sent is appalling in comparison to how she has been going, it's heartbreaking for me...
 
Ah. Good old leg to hand.

It is my humble opinion that only 10% of horse-loving amateurs (excluding all HHOers, of course) have ever heard of this, let alone know what it means. Actually, I've met a few supposedly not so amateur people, too. In fact, I have someone on my FB feed who is a producer and I just want to shout at her whenever she posts photos, 'LET OUT THE FRONT END AND RIDE HIM UP TO THE BRIDLE!!!'

As nice as she sounds, you're going to have to get tough. Tough with yourself - how long have you got left before the end of your exams? 3? 4 weeks? If she doesn't seem to be going out of trot, can she really do that much damage? The horse is gettng some exercise. Isn't that what you wanted? If so then come down on yourself and learn to accept it. Or tell her straight.

If it really is too hard, book her some lessons with your instructor and tell her that you saw the picture and figured she needed some help. Tell your instructor you'll pay them back later.
 
Oh dear, this unfortunately is what happens when you let someone else ride your horse. Have you actually seen her being ridden in the flesh, maybe its not as bad as it looks - grasping straws here probably.
Can you say that you don't want her schooled and to just hack her.
 
Remember, it is just one moment in time. To get a good photo of horse/ rider it often needs at least half a dozen tries, if not more even with a professional, there may have been better moments!
I agree with above though, just ask your friend to hack her out quietly, hopefully you could suggest routes with some hill work which will be much better for the horse than endless, possibly worthless, school work.
 
I suppose you are both right, just got to wait it out...
Maybe I'm just being paranoid.

If anything I think if her confidence is lacking then I don't think they'll make it out of trot but hopefully when I get back on she will remember what I taught her.

And you are certainly right about leg to hand! You think someone knows it until you've seen them ride and spoken to them.
I thought I knew until I started studying it in detail, I spent the last two years readin articles, watching videos and attending conferences to gain an insight into how it should look and feel and how it is achieved and then slowly started to understand and use it myself, though I probably still don't know!
 
GreenEyedMonster said:
I suppose you are both right, just got to wait it out...
Maybe I'm just being paranoid.

If anything I think if her confidence is lacking then I don't think they'll make it out of trot but hopefully when I get back on she will remember what I taught her.

And you are certainly right about leg to hand! You think someone knows it until you've seen them ride and spoken to them.
I thought I knew until I started studying it in detail, I spent the last two years readin articles, watching videos and attending conferences to gain an insight into how it should look and feel and how it is achieved and then slowly started to understand and use it myself, though I probably still don't know!
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If it was mine I would turn her away for until you have finished your exams. You will be more relaxed and able to concentrate and it a lot easier not to have to sort a problem when you have finished.
There are a lot of so called experienced riders who have no idea how to ride a horse forward into a soft hand, elbow and shoulder.
 
You could use the napping or the fresh behaviour as a reason to interject. Something like "I hear she was a bit fresh for you, what a silly pony. Why don't I show(tell) you what I do when she's like that." That way it's not about their riding so much. If you can make it down you can give her a lesson or send in your instructor. Additionally you could specify how much they ride her and how - is she okay out hacking and could they do that instead?

It's always tricky with people you know especially if they are a nice person. Your mare will remember you when you get back and you will get her back into shape, but I know it's tough for now!
 
Maybe word it that you are going to give her some time off - hopefully by the time you are back she will have forgotten the bad riding.
 
Firstly you ought not be judging her riding on the basis of one photo because you should have seen you should have seen her ride before you left.
Could you say walking hacking only that would keep the horse ticking over ŵhen I am not here my horses walk hack and are lunged ( I train everybody how I like it done ) .
The only person who does more stuff is FYF ( fit young friend ) but I know him really well and know what's he's likely to get up to.
Failing hacking in walk why not turn the horse away .
 
Did you not see this person ride before you arranged for her to school your horse?

I would just say that having though more/again about what you want to do with your horse after your exams, you have realised tht she would benefit from some time off now and that you would like her to be turned away for a few weeks until you are ready to ride her again.
As for the leg to hand thing, it does rather seem to me that modern instruction does not teach how to ride correctly but concentrates on getting a false outline, so that the horse looks pretty, unless you are very lucky and find a RI who was taught by someone 'old school'.
 
Sort of had the same thing, and i was just honest and told the rider that shes gripping him at the front too much and that stresses him out a bit. Ive also gave her a few tips about her position in a nice way because at the end of the day, she needs help and my horse needs a rider whos committed. Hes a good teacher, so its perfect and im always willing to give her tips.
 
Honestly, I've been there with a horse who isnt being looked after or ridden the way I wanted. I let it go and let it go and now I have a horse who got LGL, whose saddle is written off and needs the panels dropping and a whole reflock, but only once hes lost the horrific amount of weight hes gained. I reckon the cost of having him at crappy yard is well over £500 and he still needs more physio!

Even more worryingly, last time I rode him, for half an hour in walk, he spent most of the time trying to drop behind the contact and going over bent. There was no contact, but hes clearly been used to being hauled in in front. My instructor got on for a few minutes and confirmed what I thought. Hes been hauled in at the front and kicked up into the contact. So god knows how long that will take to sort :(

And the moral of this horrible story is, if your not happy then do something NOW! If your gut tells you its not right, then its not right!
 
I'd turn her away. It is so easy to undo any work you have put into a horse and it doesn't take long either.
 
Since she has been nappy you could use that as an excuse and say she needs time off (and as someone else said blame your horse and not the rider).
 
life is too short my horses are too precious, i would get out of there now, iwould say something now, today if i was`nt 100 per cent happy, this is something you need to learn to do, to put your horse first, i had to the learn the hard way, it will not kill the woman.

i would now not let anyone ride my horses without strict instructions, and i mean STRICT instruction on exactly how i will allow them to be ridden and if i had any doubts i would use that useful little word no.

i would also only allow someone on board if lwas there in person to ensure my horses welfare, and of course to offer compliments if appropriate and contribute to the process

it sounds like you are putting her feelings before your own, you seem very unhappy about this situation, sometimes your own feelings have to come first.
 
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