what should I do give to destress my new mare

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rafty

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So my little pony who arrived last week seems to be getting more and more stressed. She has been with me a week tomorrow, oo I know its very early days. I just want to help her out a bit as she is fine when beng ridden, but on the ground, especially when tied up and being brushed she is freaking out. She is no problem to catch from the field. I think she is having separation anxiety when leaving the field, although there has always been at least one other pony with her being brushed. And maybe realising she is not going back to her old home. Plus she is 15, so its a big change for her.

Today she was so bargy! Got her out of field, fine no probs. Then tied her up and it turns into a war. She keeps moving so I keep correcting her, she keep trying to but me with her head, I say no. She gets more and more stressed to the point she is sweating.

Once we were out and about on our first hack today she was as good as gold, even gave her a shower when we got back and she was fine. So I am not really understanding her whole aversion to being brushed, some days and other fine.

So think it is sensitve mare, new home and seperation. Shoudl I leave it and just continue as I am or should I try giving her something to help ease her into her new home?

Please help someone!!
 
Can you contact her previous owners and ask if she was like this when they first got her? If so, how did they get her to settle. Does she have a hay net to chomp at whilst you are grooming her? It could help to distract her from moving around or if she's been used to having a net this may be why she is restless.

I would give her more time to settle - be firm but fair and I'm sure she'll come round. Moving home can be incredibly stressful for some horses, a bit like being kidnapped. My old mare stopped eating anything but grass for the first three weeks when we moved house, even though she still had her best mate with her.
 
Tammytoo said:
Can you contact her previous owners and ask if she was like this when they first got her? If so, how did they get her to settle. Does she have a hay net to chomp at whilst you are grooming her? It could help to distract her from moving around or if she's been used to having a net this may be why she is restless.

I would give her more time to settle - be firm but fair and I'm sure she'll come round. Moving home can be incredibly stressful for some horses, a bit like being kidnapped. My old mare stopped eating anything but grass for the first three weeks when we moved house, even though she still had her best mate with her.
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I am in contact with her owner, but I have not mentioned this as she is heartbroken to of sold her so I don't really want to say how stressed she is!! I am telling her just the good bits!! She was with the previous owner for 5 years, and she bought her from the club where she continued to keep her. So this poor mare has not moved for the last 10 years!

She is a bit chunky so the owner said not to give her any hay, just grass. However, this may be an idea to give her a haynet and I was actually thinking of doing that especially when my kids are with me.

Thanks
 
It took my pony 11 months to learn to stand still when being brushed. He was a total nightmare to start with and spent the whole time kicking out and pulling back whilst tied up
 
Happytohack said:
The one thing you can give her is time to settle! 1 week is nothing. It took one of mine a year.
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I know, I know, I have not given enough time. But I do worry about how she is feeling and just want to deal with it in the best way possible to help her. I actually thought it would be all the rest of the things that would be hard, not brushing!!!! Thought that would of been the most relaxing for her, even tried a massage today and she wasnt having any of it!
 
Sounds just like my new boy who Will have been with me a week Saturday. I know he just needs time to settle and he has stopped being bargy when led. Tying up is a problem though and in his case its because he wants to be with his field mate. Im just being firm, rewarding good behaviour and using a hay net.
 
evj said:
Sounds just like my new boy who Will have been with me a week Saturday. I know he just needs time to settle and he has stopped being bargy when led. Tying up is a problem though and in his case its because he wants to be with his field mate. Im just being firm, rewarding good behaviour and using a hay net.
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Am going to try the haynet tomorrow!
 
You could try some magnesium mixed in a handful of chaff as spring grass in particular can be a bit deficient. It might not stop the behaviour but does act as a calmer if her diet is lacking in it and should help her deal with stressful situations in a more rational manner. You could also just stand with her when tied up on the yard and just be super relaxed - almost as if you are just mooching in the field - yawn (lots!), stand resting 1 leg, scratch her withers, etc. It sounds daft, and you will probably look daft, but as "herd leader", if you are relaxed it should help her. If she is sensitive she will be quite aware of your body language. Also if your standing with her and she's fidgeting, correct her by moving her back to where you want her in a very calm manner, don't shout or use rushed body movements, just insist firmly that she stands still where you want her, then scratch/ stroke / pat when she's still, even if it's just for 10 seconds to start with.

Good luck, I'm sure she will settle, it's just time she needs!
 
Sounds exactly like when I got my mare, she was so stressed, bargy and bolshy - infact a total nightmare but fine when ridden. All I can say is time and consistent handling was/is the key. Getting to know her, grazing inhand and just being calm and quiet but letting her know what you want. I to was in touch with the old owner and couldn't bring myself to say how awful she was as suspected she'd been like that with them. Anyway, it has taken at least six months and I would say I now have a happy, calm mare. Reckon some mares definately need to bond/trust you before they can relax.
 
A haynet is a good idea, no offence but you seem to be stressing, if you stress around your pony it will make matters worse, as you hang the haynet, hum to yourself or sing, it relaxes you and works if you are tense riding, my daughter sang the wheels on the bus during her first lesson, (she's 32 and a mum), so it should work on the ground
 
flirtygerty said:
A haynet is a good idea, no offence but you seem to be stressing, if you stress around your pony it will make matters worse, as you hang the haynet, hum to yourself or sing, it relaxes you and works if you are tense riding, my daughter sang the wheels on the bus during her first lesson, (she's 32 and a mum), so it should work on the ground
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I am worried I won't deal with it correctly. Its good to hear other peoples experiences and I already feel better having read the replies I have received.

I visited her more than once with her previous owner and she was always fine when handled.

However, I do tend to start getting stressed with her after a while, especially when she gets more and more bolshy. But we always finish on a good note, ie today was a ride, then shower and a play with the water (her catching it in her mouth). Then I untied her and walked then told her to stop and when she moved I put her back, by the second try she understood so I gave her a carrot, then we went for a grazing walk before putting her back in her field. I now have lots of things to try when she is tied up, main one being stay calm and not get myself stressed!! She is a lovely pony, the only problem is her stressing when tied up and being brushed, so I'm feeling positive that we can work through this!
 
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