What should I do?

hazel25

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Hi all. DD is now 16 and outgrown her share pony of several years. She's absolutely desperate to have her own, and we are very fortunate that we are in a position to make this happen. However with GCSEs coming up and she wants to go to sixth form + uni as well, we are reluctant to buy one now as chances are she won't have vast amounts of time for it.

Should we get one anyway, have a sharer and perhaps full loan/sell when she goes off to uni? Or would it be more sensible to look for a new share (less of a comittment, obviously still a comittment but less than having our own?) Buying a mother daughter share is also an option and then I'd have one to ride besides my current share but I'm very much a quiet happy hacker and she is the total opposite!

Would appreciate any advice/suggestions!
 
Do any of the charities such as WHW have a suitable ridden horse for re-homing?

That way you could either return to the charity or keep for yourself and DD when on holiday as a mum and daughter share.
 
Do any of the charities such as WHW have a suitable ridden horse for re-homing?

That way you could either return to the charity or keep for yourself and DD when on holiday as a mum and daughter share.

Lovely idea thank you. I will take a look, but there don't seem to be atm and ridden ones go in a flash don't they!
 
I had my own all through GCSEs, college, uni. He was the type that could left in the field and didn’t need to be ridden every day. He came to uni with me my first year, and then the other 2 years I came home most weekends to ride.

It’s doable if you have the money (not saying you should do it, just saying it’s definitely possible).
 
I had my boy all through GCSEs and college too and always made time for him. I didn’t got to uni but if I had I’d have made it work. I think it depends ultimately how dedicated she is. I’d get one after her GCSEs personally - a good incentive for her to crack on with revising for them too! If you got a mother/daughter share type you could maybe keep it when she’s at uni, although there will always be ways she could take a horse to uni with her.
 
It can work, but it does depend on how much your daughter wants it and how dedicated she is likely to be. Is full loan an option? Would be like having her own, but could terminate the contract if she decides it won’t work with A levels/university on top.

I had mine all through GCSEs, A levels, and a 5 year university degree. Actually bought another during my 3rd year after unexpectedly losing my made. We made it work. I did have a share sort of arrangement while I was at uni so horse was ridden a couple of times during the week/some weekends to keep fit. If the horse is sensible enough for you to hack, you could do this bit.

But I knew I was committed to making it happen and wouldn’t lose interest. I got my mare when I was 14yo, having had a pony before, and I was very dedicated. Same when I was at university, I used to do a 5-6hr train ride each way to come back for the weekend and ride reasonably often. I thought about taking horse to uni with me, but for various complicated reasons I didn’t.
 
Get her a horse or share one. Managing GCSE and a life is a warm up for real life where you have to manage work, study, relationships, mortgages, caring duties etc.

You are doing your child a disservice by heavily enabling them in single focus areas.

Our firm has a big grad programme and the kids with the high academic results that come in are full of anxiety, can’t manage themselves when things go wrong, have poor resilience and have some challenges in their team work. Give me the average student who is a mature multifaceted individual every time.
 
Thank you all for your replies. I think we will look into getting her another share or potentially a full loan if the right one comes up.

Our firm has a big grad programme and the kids with the high academic results that come in are full of anxiety, can’t manage themselves when things go wrong, have poor resilience and have some challenges in their team work.
Yes I can definitely see that happening!
 
My daughter was 12 when we moved from loan pony to ownership. At 18 she asked if I would help out with stable duties and riding, as final A levels were looming. Then she started courting, and I took over completely. My daughter is now married with a young family and horses of her own, but dropped away from the horse world completely for around fifteen years.
 
If she’s dedicated and really wants her own I would go for it, if finances aren’t an issue. If you find a nice type that will hack sensibly you shouldn’t find it hard to find a sharer for her busier exam times or perhaps you could do this bit. There’s such a joy in having your own as a teenager, it’s a precious thing to have and remember.
 
I got my own horse aged 15- did sixth form, university, got a job and still have him. I never had a sharer for him as he was quite difficult and I went to university close to home to be able to do it. To be honest he was probably the only thing that kept me going through GCSE’s, A levels and university and I did well in all despite having him. I say go for it.
 
Get her a horse or share one. Managing GCSE and a life is a warm up for real life where you have to manage work, study, relationships, mortgages, caring duties etc.

You are doing your child a disservice by heavily enabling them in single focus areas.

Our firm has a big grad programme and the kids with the high academic results that come in are full of anxiety, can’t manage themselves when things go wrong, have poor resilience and have some challenges in their team work. Give me the average student who is a mature multifaceted individual every time.
I think most of us would say that our horses and the time we spend with them is what keeps us sane. As a (retired) teacher, I would also say that parents who fret and make a fuss about exams, do their children no favours at all. The best lives are balanced between work and play. When I left my girls grammar school after A levels the girls who went off the rails were those whose parents had been the pushes and made the exams the most important thing in the whole world, rather than just one aspect of life
 
My daughter had her own pony from aged 7, when she was in second year of A-Levels she stopped riding so much! I then took over riding her 14.2 mare as my horse had an injury which resulted in retirement! 9 years later I’m still riding her pony who is now 22! I love her! I now just hack her but was competing her/ doing camps!
I would buy her a horse that you could hack too! 💕
 
Interesting to hear lots of different views - thanks everyone! I do really want to give her an experience of having her own horse as a teenager and if the right one comes up for sale we'll make it happen. My priority is finding the right horse that she is going to have a good time with as well so just to keep our options more flexible we may keep an eye on loans that come up too
 
I would get the horse if you can afford it and can still look after it when she gets busy with a levels etc. It’s a nice wholesome escape from revision/phones/boys/girls/parents. I wish I hadn’t sold mine at 16, I look back and see that I was quite unhappy and off the rails until I bought another one with my own money age 25. My parents were not horsey though so it wasn’t a viable option for them to keep one going for me through a levels/uni/first job/travelling…
 
In addition, perhaps she needs to compromise a bit on the horse as it would be very handy if it’s one that’s quiet enough for you to ride, and doesn’t need masses of work from an experienced rider when she’s not around. You don’t want her to feel she can’t go off and live her life.

It’s a lovely thing you are doing for her and you are an amazing mummy, I would do the same for my girl. It would have to be a horse that I liked though and want to ride, so I’d be strict about that!!
 
We ve still got daughters horse she got when she was just starting her exam years and it did provide a balance (and sometimes an excuse) to the study/recreation equation. Obviously I was backstop for the looking after and when she went to Uni full time, if you can afford financially and in time then I’m the last person to say no 😂
 
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