What to do…

[PSD]

So as most of you know I lost my horse of a lifetime last summer to laminitis. Before I lost her I bought a 2 year old filly who was bought with the intent of being my mares paddock buddy when she came sound - obviously she didn’t.

Now I’ve had youngsters before, I always love working with them and seeing them grow into wonderful horses. However for the past 6 months or so I’ve been wondering whether or not I’m actually cut out for owning a youngster now or not. I don’t have the time I used to, I have 2 young children and work full time so when the time comes for breaking she will be sent away and obviously this doesn’t come cheap. I could do it myself, but as above I don’t have the time to be consistent with it nor do I have the nerve i used to.

I’ve come across a wonderful sounding horse who is available for long term/lifetime loan through a friend of a friend. Horse is older (12) been there done it type, by no means a plod though. He will hunt, jump do a bit of everything and bombproof. Now the idea of this does seem daunting, but this horse seems to be more of what I need right now as opposed to a youngster who won’t be ready for backing until next year at least.

My other concern is will my youngster be big enough, shes 3 and she’s a fell so will be stocky however she’s only to make around 13.2 and I just feel I will be too big despite being 5ft4. Now I think my main concern is time and costs involved with owning youngsters and I miss riding so much. She’s super sweet and come a long way since I’ve owned her, but another 12 months of no riding and all costs just makes me want to pack it in especially after losing my mare, I just want to enjoy the hobby again and right now I’m not.

So do I swallow my pride and sell her and opt for something suitable or do I stop thinking about giving up and just “ride it out”? I guess I’ve come on HH because you all talk sense and it’s nice to have an unbiased view!

Thanks for reading. Sorry it’s a long one.

 

[The Xmas Furry]

Can you have both?

If yes, then keep 2yr old till next spring and then sell on for better money. As long as it leads, ties and ok for farrier, you dont need to do much more till next year.

If not, then get the ridden one now, life is too short for ifs buts and maybes....
The 2 yr old would sell on easily, there is a quick moving market for not just Fell ponies but most registered natives.

To add, I'm 5ft 5, my last fell mare was a 13.2 and easily took up my leg, we did everything, just as I'm doing now on my 14hh mare.
However, Fell ponies really dont mature till 7 or 8, so really need taking slowly at 4 and 5, learning the trade and slowly filling out. I wouldn't expect to be doing a good amount till at least 6+ (but that's just my opinion).

 

[SEL]

I'd sell her - your life has changed and there's no shame in her going to a more suitable home and you getting a more suitable horse.

(Except I'm useless at selling them!!!!!)

 

[PSD]

I can’t really have 2 in winter. Not because of money it’s time more than anything, she’s 3 now so she would need some sort of groundwork doing really and she’s the type that needs to keep her mind busy or she becomes a pain.

First port of call would be to offer her back to her breeder, her lines are brilliant and they did always say if she was to leave me they’d have her back.

I’m just a fuss pot and overthink everything. I always think what if I make the wrong decision and regret it ??‍

 

[The Xmas Furry]

I can’t really have 2 in winter. Not because of money it’s time more than anything, she’s 3 now so she would need some sort of groundwork doing really and she’s the type that needs to keep her mind busy or she becomes a pain.

First port of call would be to offer her back to her breeder, her lines are brilliant and they did always say if she was to leave me they’d have her back.

I’m just a fuss pot and overthink everything. I always think what if I make the wrong decision and regret it ??‍

In that case message her breeder ?

 

[Ownedby4horses]

OP, sell the fell and buy the ridden horse. The fell will find their special person. It can be so incredibly hard when you lose that special horse.

Life is so very short, just seen that her breeder would have her back, get in touch and it’s an easy solution. I have to say though at 13.2, you wouldn’t be too big. I’m 5ft 8 and have long legs and I have a 14hh Dales x.

Go for it OP. ?

 

[PSD]

Is it a rash decision though? This is what I keep thinking. I’m just being impatient

 

[milliepops]

chiming in to say the same. I'd sell the youngster, things have changed. it doesn't sound like a rash decision, it sounds like things have shifted since you bought her and now it's not the perfect match you hoped.

 

[Ownedby4horses]

I know it’s a hard decision, you said youve been thinking for about 6 months, so it’s not a rash decision.

Perhaps you could ask the breeder if possible, you could keep in touch with a neW owner.

 

[ycbm]

PSD I'm selling a horse I dreamed about owning for years because we just don't fit together. There's no shame in it. I feel I owe it to mine to allow her to have an owner who thinks she's the bee's knees.
.

 

[PSD]

PSD I'm selling a horse I dreamed about owning for years because we just don't fit together. There's no shame in it. I feel I owe it to mine too allow her to have an owner who thinks she's the bee's knees.
.

This is how I feel, I feel like I need to force myself to just get along with it because she’s the horse I’ve always wanted. She’s a fab little thing don’t get me wrong but something just doesn’t click

 

[ycbm]

This is how I feel, I feel like I need to force myself to just get along with it because she’s the horse I’ve always wanted. She’s a fab little thing don’t get me wrong but something just doesn’t click

Boy do I know how you feel. I watch other people riding my mare and wonder how I can be so stupid as to want to sell her. But we are not a match, and she knows it.
.

 

[Upthecreek]

Don’t see it as giving up or failing. Look at it as a positive decision for both you and the horse. You can get the horse you need to fit in with your circumstances and find her a perfect home with someone who has the time to devote to a youngster. And if you just don’t click, for whatever reason, it’s definitely decision made and time to act on it.

 

[PSD]

It’s more the little things that make me feel overwhelmed.

For example - ( I know these are all baby things) putting a rug on is a huge task, I tried to bridle her and it was just an epic fail, she’s not the best to load but she will go on eventually, she’s quite sharp and spooky too. I know this is all typical of a baby and she will probably get over herself in time. But I don’t have the time to put into her to get her where I want her to be. It’s all well and good sending them away for breaking but they still need educating when they come back.

I keep thinking of the future, what if I spend all this money and she isn’t what I want her to be? Maybe that’s ridiculous to think so far ahead

 

[The Xmas Furry]

It’s more the little things that make me feel overwhelmed.

For example - ( I know these are all baby things) putting a rug on is a huge task, I tried to bridle her and it was just an epic fail, she’s not the best to load but she will go on eventually, she’s quite sharp and spooky too. I know this is all typical of a baby and she will probably get over herself in time. But I don’t have the time to put into her to get her where I want her to be. It’s all well and good sending them away for breaking but they still need educating when they come back.

I keep thinking of the future, what if I spend all this money and she isn’t what I want her to be? Maybe that’s ridiculous to think so far ahead

Hmm, I'd be very interested to know her breeding, would you message me? ?
Not all Fell ponies are sharp spooky cookies, but there are a few bloodlines that have zippy sharp ponies in, mine is and I chose her as I knew we would face challenges ?

 

[PSD]

Hmm, I'd be very interested to know her breeding, would you message me? ?
Not all Fell ponies are sharp spooky cookies, but there are a few bloodlines that have zippy sharp ponies in, mine is and I chose her as I knew we would face challenges ?

Sure. She’s very clever and trainable, but gets upset easily. For instance, a new rug is terrifying ? yet the tractor can go past with a bale on and she doesn’t bat an eyelid!

 

[MereChristmas]

My example
I bought a mare.
I loved her to bits.
At the time I went hunting.
She did not enjoy even the low level jumping that I wanted to do but I never got to her ‘bottom’.
I bought another mare and we fitted together well. I didn’t love her like the first but I had far more fun.
The first mare went to a long distance riding home. She did 50 miles and the new owners wished they had her earlier to do 100 miles.
The old saying is ‘Horses for courses’
I think it perhaps should be ‘Horses for the time in your life’
I would sell and therefore be able to use your free time in the way you would best enjoy it.

 

[Upthecreek]

It’s more the little things that make me feel overwhelmed.

For example - ( I know these are all baby things) putting a rug on is a huge task, I tried to bridle her and it was just an epic fail, she’s not the best to load but she will go on eventually, she’s quite sharp and spooky too. I know this is all typical of a baby and she will probably get over herself in time. But I don’t have the time to put into her to get her where I want her to be. It’s all well and good sending them away for breaking but they still need educating when they come back.

I keep thinking of the future, what if I spend all this money and she isn’t what I want her to be? Maybe that’s ridiculous to think so far ahead

In my opinion if you know now you won’t have the time to put into continuing her education after she’s been away for breaking you really would not be doing the best for her by keeping her. This is a crucial time that will require you to be able to consistently commit your time and energy to ensure she ends up a well started youngster. The rugging, bridling and loading will not resolve by magic, you will need to invest the time into training to improve those issues.

 

[Nari]

Sell her to a good home and have the horse you'll have fun on. Could you have both for a short time just to be sure your feelings don't change?

 

[silv]

No brainer, sell her and get what suits you at this time in your life.

 

[The Xmas Furry]

On her 2nd and 3rd generation breeding on both sides, I'd take her ?
But I'd probably put in foal next year as a 4 yr old, to let her grow on and back once foal is weaned at back end of 5/rising 6.

 

[splashgirl45]

as the 12 yr old is long term loan could you have him on trial for a couple of months and to see if he is what you want. then contact the breeder or FF and sell the youngster. you wiont have the time to put into her anyway..

 

[PSD]

On her 2nd and 3rd generation breeding on both sides, I'd take her ?
But I'd probably put in foal next year as a 4 yr old, to let her grow on and back once foal is weaned at back end of 5/rising 6.

I think this would be what the breeder would do, her sire passed recently so she’s one of the last fillies with his line

 

[alibali]

If you can only keep one then keep/get the one you can ride now. A bird in the hand and all that. Who knows what's 2 or 3 years down the line which might be what you need to wait until you can start having serious fun with your mare.

12 isn't old, actually it's the prime of life, I'd bite their hand off for a permanent loan!

 

[PSD]

If you can only keep one then keep/get the one you can ride now. A bird in the hand and all that. Who knows what's 2 or 3 years down the line which might be what you need to wait until you can start having serious fun with your mare.

12 isn't old, actually it's the prime of life, I'd bite their hand off for a permanent loan!

Quite right. 12 is a fabulous age and he’s already seen/done most of what I want to do. He’s absolutely lush too, right up my street. I’m going to arrange to view him next weekend and go from there, not really much point me making a decision until I know if he’s what I’d want in a horse. I always said I’d never have a gelding too, so who knows maybe a change is good.

 

[PSD]

Sell her to a good home and have the horse you'll have fun on. Could you have both for a short time just to be sure your feelings don't change?

I could keep her for the summer, see how I get in with the ridden and then decide. However I don’t want to get too close to winter then being stuck with one I can’t sell! But there’s a while of summer left yet

 

[Gloi]

You are overthinking. Your Fell will easily carry you and even with kids you will probably have no trouble training her, it's not like she's a TB.

 

[DabDab]

It is a bit anxiety-inducing if you know whatever bump in the road/training challenge you come up against, that you won't really have the time or emotional energy to resolve it as and when it comes up.

I've definitely had periods like that and when current horses were young made the conscious decision to just give them lay off periods when I was too busy and not in the right headspace. But with kids as well I can 100% appreciate that there's a chance that the stars will never align sufficiently for you to be able to devote the necessary time to a youngster.

If you like the sound of the older horse then it seems like a no-brainer to me. Sell the baby and get yourself some horsey time that you can just enjoy.

 

[PSD]

You are overthinking. Your Fell will easily carry you and even with kids you will probably have no trouble training her, it's not like she's a TB.

It’s more the time it’s going to take to train her that I’m lacking in, my time away from the kids is the time I want to spend enjoying my hobby

 

[Christmascinnamoncookie]

Sell her and get the ridden one. Life is too short.