What to do with fairly healthy but angry 19-year-old mare

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txiki1

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I have a rather healthy but very angry and scared 19-year-old mare whom I have to pay to board. She is becoming more difficult to work with and be around...I won't even allow my daughter around her anymore (which is the reason I ended up with her a few years ago). She has become more difficult with age...so much I don't even ride her anymore. I would like to but it's difficult to even catch and brush her. She pulls back all the time...yesterday, pulled back several times, giving me a rope burn and injuring my arm. Only myself and my friend are able to handle her. I highly doubt anyone would buy her and I wouldn't want to hand her issues over to someone else. I know we can't change her. I want to ride and want my daughter to learn to ride, but not on her. I can't afford to board two horses and am concerned for the horse and our safety. She was recently moved from grass pasture to dry lot due to boarding issues and seems even more unhappy and angry, but I don't have a choice at this point. In her past, she was in a trailer wreck so is extremely difficult to load, and was also used as a bucking horse, so is scared in arenas. It was suggested to put her down, which I am considering but am having a very difficult time making the decision due to being an animal lover. But at this point, I am paying to keep a very unhappy and angry horse I can't even use. She is acting up to where she injures herself as well as others around her, including horses and people. Please give me your thoughts and suggestions. Thank you.
 
sorry but i think you have 2 choices, either put up with her or PTS. sounds like she has quite a lot of issues, and possibly pain/underlying health issues (?overies). An angry horse is not a happy horse. as an animal lover you know you cant really pass her on as someone may mistreat her to try to get to the bottom of the behaviour.
 
Had something similar with my last mare.
Very quirky to ride, napped, bucked, spun, spooked, scared of traffic, couldn't/wouldn't canter. I couldn't pass her on knowing she could do some damage to someone.
Turned out it was a physical problem and I put her down. She was 7.
Sounds like as has been said above you either put your mare down or put up with her because as you very sensibily said, you cannot pass her on with those issues, it would be irresponsible.
Unless you are willing to fork out for extensive vetinary investigations for the route of her behaviour.
Sorry I can't be of more help.
 
I would first look at changing her back to being out on grass, if the change has led to a worsening of her behaviour.

Have you had a vet look at her to give her the once over? If you've done that, are there any instructors around you can trust the opinion of? Its difficult to recommend/diagnose over the internet :)
 
If you don't want to spend the time and money trying to find out whats wrong through vets, physios etc, and then trying to fix it with uncertain chances of success, I would be inclined towards making a hard decision... good look and search your heart for the right answer. You never know, something may be able to be put right.
 
Sounds historical problem agree vet check ie brain tumour/ovaries if no problem your safety has to be paramount and may be best to put down before she injures you and herself.
She doesnt sound a happy horse that is getting worse, so it may be best for her in the long run.
 
indie999 said:
Your safety has to be paramount. She doesnt sound a happy horse that is getting worse
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As above. If she is dangerous and she is not a happy animal, given that any medical or physical issues are ruled out then why continue keeping her alive to live the life she is suffering? She doesn't sound as if she is enjoying her life either. If it is past issues that have made her so unhappy and she cannot get over them then it is a kindness you would do her to put her to sleep. To release her from her demons would be a blessing.
 
I would have her PTS. She's an old mare with 'issues' - they're almost certainly physical and causing her pain. Yes, there's a chance that extensive (and expensive) veterinary investigation would find them - but a good chance they can't be cured - or would be very expensive to cure.

Even if she was cured, her behaviour wouldn't necessarily change! She's learnt to be ill-mannered/bad-tempered - probably as a result of pain - but removing the pain (if it's possible) won't of its own effect a cure for her learned behaviour.

I think PTS is her best outcome - but you also have to be a little bit selfish here and think about yourself and your daughter. What if she injures you seriously? And you can't enjoy riding if she's eating up all your spare money. A humane end for her - and you can get on with your life!
 
txiki1 said:
.......... It was suggested to put her down, which I am considering but am having a very difficult time making the decision due to being an animal lover..........
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No one could in any way blame you if you decide to put her to sleep. In my book that option would be the choice of a true animal lover. She sounds an extremely difficult and unhappy soul who has the added disadvantage of advancing years. At 19, even if there is a physical problem that 'could' be sorted, she has also had a long time to 'learn' this behaviour and I'm not sure you could ever cure her completely. You have clearly tried to make it work with her, it sounds as if she could easily end up hurting you or your daughter - or someone else. If you decide to PTS you are effectively safeguarding her future, if you did sell her there is no knowing where she would end up but I'd guess it might not be nice.

Best wishes to you.
 
i just want to put the other side as I had a mare like this, and she and I came out the other side. It was the most difficult challenge I have ever faced in 60 years of being around horses, and if I had known at the beginning what I learnt later on I would never have attempted it. But, as I didn't, I went ahead and had a lovely, gentle mare at the end of it.

BUT, she was 15, not 19. She loved and trusted 3 people in the world (me, my son - a non-rider but who has a 'way' with animals - and my then livery, a wonderful and quiet horsewoman). Also, what I achieved I achieved by compromise. I know a lot of people disapprove of this, but it worked for her and me -i.e she was difficult to lead but would have wallked beside me to the end of the earth, (thank you Monty Roberts for that). I never commanded, I asked. And she gave.

You have to ask yourself is this long road what you want to set out on. And also, are you prepared to live with the fact that she may, to put it bluntly, have a screw loose - or be in a lot of unidentified paid.

Finally, I would have her out at pasture again,a.s.a.p.

I feel for you a lot as it's a hell of a hard decision to take/make. At least she is in your kind hands, so whatever the outcome, she's a lucky mare.
 
Thank you all for your kind words, support and advice. One of my biggest concerns of "giving her away" as it was suggested locally, is that she would be mistreated, which is surely not the way I wish her to spend the rest of her life. I truly appreciate all of your thoughts and advice. After much consideration, research, discussion and many shed tears, I think I will be scheduling to PTS my old girl. Thanks again.
 
TBH having had one like this - I battled for three years with quiet, positive, rewarded handling. Then after nearly having my head removed by a back foot I made the decision and had her PTS.

I am an animal lover however I feel there are times when human safety comes first. Consider the effect on your daughter and family if she should hurt you badly or even worse kill you. Giving her away should not even be a coonsideration, how would you feel if she hurt or killed the person you gave her away to.

Even retired she still needs to be handled, by farrier, vet owner and so still runs the risk of hurting or killing someone.

At 19 she's had a good innings.
 
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Put her to sleep.

It's the best thing for her, she's a very unhappy horse.

It's the best thing for you, this must be dragging you down.

You would feel so relieved, sad too, you've tried hard. If you do this, you will never have to worry about her again.

Please don't pass her on to someone else, just do the right thing by her.
 
I have a difficult mare, have owned her for a few years now. She had had a rough time in life, no doubt about it. She would charge at you, try to attack anyone who came into her stable using her teeth and body (and she meant it), putting on a rug normally took two people, she was horrendous around food and would try to attack anything smaller than her. The first time she charged at me in the field, I stood my ground and thankfully she side stepped at the last moment but having a horse coming at you head low, ears flat back and teeth showing is frightening. It took me a year and a half to win her round (I believe that her behaviour was defensiveness and underneath was a good mare) She is calm and handleable now although you still have to be on top of things and not give her an inch or she will try to take a mile.

The poster of this thread has had this mare for a few years with little improvement in behaviour, there is danger involved and the mare is quite obviously not in a happy place in her brain or behaviour. If a horse comes round it is all well and good but if not then it is kinder to let them go. I truly do sympathise with the OP and wish her the best in whatever decision she makes.
 
i would put her to sleep, it's the kindest thing for her and safest thing for yourself. she's obviously very unhappy and probably in pain.

at least then you know she's not going to cause anyone any harm in the future and you and your daughter can get on with riding and enjoying having a horse again.
 
Very sad post. Thoughts with the mare and her miserable life.

We cant fix everything, but we can try.
 
txiki1 said:
It was suggested to put her down, which I am considering but am having a very difficult time making the decision due to being an animal lover. But at this point, I am paying to keep a very unhappy and angry horse I can't even use. .
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TBTH, I wouldn't call you an animal lover at all if you can't see this mare either needs help or needs putting down and at her age and with those issues, I honestly can't comprehend why you are dithering. An animal lover does what is best for that animal, nothing less even if it's hard for them and with your daughter and safety to think about, that's even more of a decider. Stop dithering and do the right thing by your mare.
 
I bought an older mare with issues (wasnt aware at the time of purchase), I spent a year trying to reback her, teach her ground manners- (knew how to rear!) and stop her bolting when out hacking. It worked some days and then others she went back to her old ways.

She had a hard life of racing, foaling and being misused by people. In the end health problems were found and I had her PTS.

Whilst I miss her from her good days, her bad days were horrible and have dentend my confidence. I had her pts by injections, she looked so peaceful and went very easily with no struggle that I knew it was the right thing. I also felt so relieved afterwards to not have that feeling of " I have to deal with her again today will it be good or bad"
 
Just been to our Pony Club AGM and one committee member there was on crutches - she had been kicked in the back by her TB mare.

She was picking up dung and mare was on the other side of the paddock - in a blink of an eye mare had moved and kicked her fair & square in her back causing one of her kidneys to bleed and put her in hospital for several days. She is facing the same decision. The mare has been a very successful racehorse but is retired due to injury.

As she said a few cms over and she would have been kicked in the spine.

Is it worth the risk - No.
 
Its not a nice situation, but I applaud you for deciding to do the right thing by your mare. If she were mine, she would get a HUGE bucket of carrots, a big scratch, and one last visit from the knackerman.
 
Maesfen said:
TBTH, I wouldn't call you an animal lover at all if you can't see this mare either needs help or needs putting down and at her age and with those issues, I honestly can't comprehend why you are dithering. An animal lover does what is best for that animal, nothing less even if it's hard for them and with your daughter and safety to think about, that's even more of a decider. Stop dithering and do the right thing by your mare.
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That's a bit harsh Maesfen! :( The OP was obviously looking for reassurance that she was doing the right thing by considering putting to sleep. It is not always as black and white when you are close to the problem yourself. Very easy to stand back and critisise.
 
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