What to do with my mare?... what would u do?

[lynseylou1]

Morning all!!
Need ur as always sound advice. Its a bit of forward planning here lol.. but my OH is keen to get on and start having children in the next 12 months. Tbh tiz a fair point at 33 im not getting any younger... but what to do with my mare????
15.2 8yo lovely in many ways but not for a novice rider really. Is pretty spooky when hacking esp alone, lots better in company. Every other way she is fab your granny could handle her.
Sooooo keeping her whilst on maternity pay is out the question, saving up money in prep of low wages is also not likely to happen.
Selling her makes my eyes water and my bottom lip go wobbly but I would if I felt it was 100% the right thing for both of us. Trouble is I feel such a responsibility for any horse I have had as to where they end up I dont usually end up selling them.
Put her in foal? She is a gorgeous mare everyone looks at her but she is spooky, I feel there are too many horses without homes to add for that just so I can have a foal that she ,might pass that on to. Plus if i have already decided I cant afford to keep her whilst on low income how can I jusify putting her in foal for something maybe to go wrong. I put her in that situation I should be able to afford to get her out of it if something did go wrong.
I could turn her away for a year and just pay minimum field rent? But shes far too good to sit in a field in what I consider her prime years that should be made the most of.
Last I could put her on loan? I know this is not without it dangers and not something I would enter into lightly. In my mind an ideal home would be someone confident and knowledgeable to take her for a year or 2 a and continue her education. She loves showing and drssage and has hineted ,xc etc but is strong. Do u think I am expecting too much to find this kind of home?
Ulitmately I could sell her but really dont want to. I can afford to liove without the income of her selling price its the maintenance costs I know i cannot do whilst on maternity.
All ideas/ thoughts would be most welcome x

 

[Suffolkangel]

How about trying to find a sharer. that way she stays where she is, you get financial help, she's ridden but still in your care..... If you get one now you could mention your plans and see if they would be happy to take on more days when your circumstances change...

 

[WandaMare]

You don't sound ready to sell her which is perfectly understandable, I would feel the same.

I think your best bet is finding a good sharer or full loan person, the best way is to speak to everyone horsey you know and get a recommendation by work of mouth. The instructors always seem a good starting point and your local riding club.

I would put all your efforts into finding someone trustworthy, where you could visit her from time to time. If you find the perfect partner for her who knows you might feel more confident to sell her at a later date? Or hopefully you will be in a position to take her back one day in the future.

All the best

 

[jacksmum]

Well done that you are giving it some thought, i just worried about it when i got pregnant so i was really lucky to find a great sharer very quickly.
Having a sharer worked really well for me, horse was being well looked after and ridden and on days i fancied a ride my horse was fit and ready.
I chose sharing over loan as i still wanted some control.
Good luck with what you decide


Off topic - s/angel your dog is absolutely gorgeous! and those ears

 

[touchstone]

I'd share or loan, putting her foal would just be doubling your issues with two to see to/find homes for. It is easy to underestimate how hard it is having children, you might well find it is easier to sell once babies arrive and to return to horses at a later date.

 

[Tammytoo]

I was in your situation, same age and same age mare! Everyone was saying I would have to sell her , would have to give up horses etc. My OH was incredibly supportive, he know when he married me that he was No. 2 to horsey!

So I refused to part with her, rode until I was 6 months pregnant and then just turned her away until I could ride again. She didn't mind being in a field, stuffing her face for about 9 months and playing wirth her friends! Your horse won't be in the least worried that she's "wasted"! My mare was still in her prime at 18 years, showing, doing xc, dressage, long-distance rides etc.

Sharing is a great option if you want her to stay in work and, obviously, helps with the bills. A confident rider should be able to cope with her spookiness.

Don't rush into anything and remember that if you sell her, you may not find a horse that suits you so well very easily, genuine horses of a lifetime hardly ever come onto the market.

 

[Suffolkangel]

Aw thank you... he's my special little shadow...

 

[smellsofhorse]

I'd say sharer option, take your time to find the right person and have a contract.

Even after baby has arrived you will lack time and money so a sharer long term will be great for both of you!

 

[aintgotnohay]

get a surrogate mother to do all that for you-then you keep your mare cand carry on as normal till the 'family' arrives! simples

 

[Ladyinred]

I doubt she would consider she was too good to be turned away!! Bet she would love it, and that way you would get to keep her so it must be a win-win situation.

Loaning is a good idea, but there don't seem to be many people interested these days, or at least not those you would want to trust with your horse. We can't even find a rider! No work and no payment involved and no one wants to know!

 

[rockysmum]

The first question that came into my mind, is it a child or is it children.

I agree with the suggestions of loaning for 12 months if its child. If you are going to have more than one its different, you could struggle for years to find loaners or the time to ride.

I turned my boy away for the summer when I was pregnant and it did no harm at all.

One thing to watch for if your horse can be a difficult ride. A lot of people find they have lost a lot of their nerve after having children. Every time the horse plays up you thing "who would look after ???" if something happened to me.

 

[Tilda]

Can't quote because I am on my phone but Lady in Red I wouldn't say there aren't many people interested in loaning because there aren't many people interested in riding your horse for free as I am about to take on a loan horse but wouldn't have been interested in a horse to ride because I already have plenty of those thanks to my friends and YM.

Personally OP I don't blame you for not wanting to sell your mare and I would think that a loan or share would be the best option. The problem with turning away would be that you don't know how long you are not going to be riding for due to both physical and logistical reasons (babies really do change your life). Should you turn away and then for whatever reason you decide you can't cope with both baby and horse you would have the added pressure of bringing your mare back into work and getting her ready to be loaned.

As someone else said well done for being so prepared it will stand you in good stead

 

[xspiralx]

I guess the question is that if you have a baby, will you be able to afford your mare afterwards - as I presume even if you go back to work you'll have childcare costs.

If so, then I'd loan her out.

If not, then I'd sell.

Either way, you may not get pregnant for a while so you might not have to make a decision about it too soon.

 

[mightymammoth]

How about full loan but must stay on currrent yard? I think you would be best to start sooner rather than later even if bits it before you've got a bun in the oven to ensure you get a loan person you are both happy with.

Good thread by the way

 

[Irishbabygirl]

I was in the same position but just rode until I was 6 months then got my friend to ride for me but I carried on doing all the chores etc was back riding a week after giving birth...with a seat saver! You shouldn't need to part with her, I've not struggled at all

 

[rubysmum]

i have a vested interest here - as am desperately looking for a full loan - but there are people out there who are honest, reliable decent folks who perfer to loan - good luck with what ever you decide

 

[lynseylou1]

just as i thought... brillaint advice from those that have been there , done that and have a great understanding. Thank you all so much.
If i could wave a magic wand.... (dont we all wish!) the perfect situation would be to find a first class loan home where she could continue her work. I have no doubt in mind whatsoever that she would love love love a year off kicking her heels up in delight but she has got a lot to give someone and she really is truley at her very best when she is off here and there doing fun things.
A lot to think over but you are all immensely helpful.. thanks for taking the time to reply xxx
p.s look out for a thread in months to come that says ' **** im pregnant and terrified WAIL WAIL' that will be mine