What to do with your stuff when your horse dies?

D

Dazzled89

New User
Joined
17 February 2021
Messages
4
Visit site
Hello,

I guess I am looking for some reassurance here because I am second and third and fourth guessing every decision I make.

One of my horses passed away about a year and a half ago, and another a few months ago. I have one more who is very old at 28 and I'm not planning on getting another horse.

I feel pressure to have these Pinterest-worthy keepsakes, jewelry made out of tail hair and cushions made out of rugs, but in reality most of the rugs are mouldy and the result of being in a damp mouse ridden storage container for years. I've just bust into tears because I've tried to make a cushion out of a rug and just failed miserably. And the rug still smells even after washing 😩

Everyone talks about all the things they kept and made out of their horses things, but is there someone that can just reassure me that I don't need to do this, and I won't feel terrible the next day if I decide to get rid of things? I have tail hair, a shoe, infinite photos and memories. Part of me says this is enough, and part is screaming NO you have to keep all saddles bridles rugs grooming brushes fancy dress costumes from 2005 etc. or it means you didn't love them and you might forget them! 🙃

Grief is getting in the way of rational thought, I'd love to hear from some other horse owners <3
 
I tried to give up horses a couple of times before, and usually would sell off the valuable stuff - like saddles, expensive rugs, bridles, stirrups etc, and the cheaper but still usefull stuff I would give away to my local riding school or friends in need.
 
When I lost my horse in Feb 2000 I kept some stuff. In 2016 when I got a new horse, it was just old, dirty stuff that didn’t fit new horse and was very outdated! I do have his old headcollar and some tail hair and some lovely photos and memories. I agree with EP above, keep some things that are more personal but get rid of the other stuff. Either sell or give away to a charity. But don’t rush, do it as you feel ready.
 
I took all rugs etc that I wouldn't use again to world horse welfare for their tack shop.

I've got some hair but it's still in a drawer. I do have hundreds of pictures though, and some rosettes.
 
Personally I’d look through everything… anything that’s unusable throw it away. Anything that’s useable, but old/tatty/no sale value… donate to horse charity or local riding school.

Then work on de-cluttering the other sellable items when you feel like it
 
I kept his tail hair and put it in a frame with my favourite photo of him. I also kept his thermatex because it was his show-rug and has huge sentimental value to me. I sold everything else or gave away to friends in need. I donated his saddle to a charity that helps poorly treated working horses abroad. His turnout rugs fit my retired horse so he inherited some of those. His Fairfax bridle is now my new horses bridle as it’s too nice and expensive to sit gathering dust. I do get a bit of a pang sometimes when I see a friends horse wearing one of his rugs I gave away but it’s just stuff at the end of the day and might as well go to use.
 
I lost my wonderful old lady aged 35 on Monday … she was a companion for the last 8 years , anything that is useable I will donate to a horse charity . When I lost my other old lady 2 years ago it was so hard to even think about getting rid of everything but it does get easier. I sold tack, rugs that were in good condition and donated other stuff … I have so many wonderful memories and pictures that keeping stuff that won’t be used again seems pointless
 
I have tails in boxes with rosettes, don't know if I'll do anything with them. I've kept most of the stuff, partly because I still have horses. I wouldn't have anything made out of a good rug, it would be a waste.

Don't feel pressured into keeping anything or having anything made, do whatever suits you.
 
I haven't saved any keepsakes for my recently lost pony or dogs, I have memories and photos enough. I didn't keep their ashes. The vets sent me packets of forget-me-not seeds for each that passed which was a nice touch.
Ebay, Facebook marketplace and donations. Anything else binned.
I try not to collect clutter myself so hopefully when I pop off, there won't be too much for my kids to sort through.
Crikey, that went dark. Wishing you all the best with your elderly horse in your time together xxx
 
I sold everything that was worth anything and gave the remainder to the local RDA if useful. My wonderful yard did have a bracelet made out of his hair which was a beautiful surprise but I can't wear it now as the hair becomes so fragile over time it just breaks, so I'd bear that in mind if you do get jewellery made.

What you do or don't keep, or how you deal with their passing is not an indicator of how much they were loved or how good you were as an owner. We all hold different levels of sentimentality.
 
Take anything that will decompose, burn it, then put in the ground and plant a special plant over it which gives you joy (rose with appropriate name/apple tree/agapantha in a pot).
 
I lost my old boy well over 20 years ago.

I threw a lot of his old rugs away, along with other random bits that were no use to anyone.

I'll be perfectly honest, I kept more than I got rid of; saddle, bridles, head collars, travel rugs, horse shoes, tail hair, name plaque, grooming kit....I just could not, and still cannot, part with any of it.

It's all down to personal choice really. Just do what feels right for you.
 
I kept nothing but my memories, gave rugs, boots etc to a friend and put all the odd bits in a box for everyone at the livery yard to help themselves to, he was retired so no saddle etc. just go with what feels right for you. and hugs
 
So sorry for your loss. You don’t have to keep anything. You have your memories. When I lost my old boy that I’d had for 20 years, I didn’t want ashes back or to keep his hair. I gave a lot of rugs and other stuff to a friend on a large yard because I couldn’t bear to look at them. I know they will be put to good use. I still have his bridle (but I’d give it to someone that needed one)and there might be a set of shoes somewhere and I have kept a few special rosettes. But I have photos and memories and that is ok.
 
I’m not in to keeping bits of hair or shoes. My daughter recently gave me a photo book of my oldie and I’ll treasure that when he goes. As for the rest of his stuff I’ll probably give most of it away but selling bits like his saddle.
 
So sorry to hear of your loss. When my last horse was pts. I gave up all my gear and hers went to a charity who have a shop in Eastbourne,some bits are tucked away but most went to charity.
 
Id like to say there's no rush to do anything and c3rtainly no need to do everything at once. What you do with the things entirely up to you. I. Donated everything I had from my deceased horse to a horse charity for them to use or sell. From another horse I just sent all the tack to auction. It just depended on how I felt at the time. I don't have horse hair jewellery I think it's goulish but understand that others like it. I kept a few rosettes but they just live in a bag in a cupboard. Sorry about that bold only just noticed it. Sending hugs it's not always easy to let go.
 
I kept tail hair in a plait, a shoe, leather headcollar and a bit of mane hair (mane and tail were different colours) the saddle and bridle had no sentimental value and were sold as they didn’t suit my next horse, some rugs were kept as long as they were useful but again not for sentimental reasons…… and I think I’m a sentimental fool!
 
I've kept pretty much everything from every horse then gradually given it away as I realise it won't fit new horse.

If I was giving up horses I'd sell anything valuable or easy then give away the rest.

I have a piece of tail hair from each horse. Some have been in an envelope for 20 years but I recently bought a resin kit and cast a small heart for each horse with hair in. They're in a drawer.

A friend has created a shrine to her horse, an entire display cabinet in her livingroom of pictures, shoes, a headcollar, a couple of rugs, hair and the ashes. I feel this is excessive but her choice.
 
Firstly, so sorry for your loss 🫂 Like many on here who have lost beloved horses I don't do hair jewellery and other keepsakes but rely on memories/photos/favourite rosettes. anything of value is either sold or used for new pony. Just do what feels right for you.
 
Sorry to hear about your loss. Every one of us feels loss and grieves differently. What we want to hold onto, or not, is a very personal issue. For me, I knew I wanted no keepsakes at all and the very last thing I would have wanted would have been something made out of my elderly horse's mane or tail hair. So I was quite vocal with all my lovely friends all year about the fact that I knew his time was coming and the only keepsakes I'd have would be photos and memories. (I reused his rugs, etc with my other horse). But that's my choice. There is an astonishing range of keepsakes that can be made and if they provide comfort and solace, that's a good thing.
 
I couldn’t take any tail hair as it was bloody, but I did take a little plait of his mane, just so he didn’t feel left out with all the tail-less horses up there. I keep it in a little drawstring bag with a small plait from my first pony and a little memory stone that is soothing to touch.

I’ve kept his bitless rope bridle, which I washed and is hung on a beautiful large framed photo I have of his head. I also can’t quite bring myself to get rid of his renegade hoof boots for some reason, despite knowing they won’t fit any of my others. Everything else I have rehomed to other horses or will put up for sale this year, and I can’t see myself having any regrets. I’m not very sentimental about ‘stuff’ generally. The one weird thing I have kept is the sweater I was wearing that day, which I laid over his eyes once he was gone. I can’t bring myself to wash it so it sits on the back of my sofa. Very occasionally I will bury my face in it and the tears will flow.
 
Virtual hugs to you, it is a personal thing between two friends, you horse and you!

I was lucky enough to have tail hair from mine, and kept their 'best' show bridles, both hang on the door of my home office and are still cleaned!

But lightness aside, allow youself to grieve in whatever way feels right.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top