what would you do with a horse like this?

texansunrise

texansunrise

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I really need some good advice, i brought my youngster 2 years a go as a 3 year old..I have always been firm, patient and kind to him and done my utmost not to pressure, push or phase him. He has turned into the most beautiful boy with everything that was promised - conformation, looks, talent - my trouble is he just seems to hate being ridden! I have alsways ensured everything is as it should be with regards to tack , back etc. so i know it is all down to his cant be arsed attitude.
He is spooky , silly and unpredicatable,i am unable to hack him as he is just too stupid on the roads and even off road he pines to be back at the yard and will be silly.
In the school he is arsy and just cant be bothered to do what i ask of him.. onthe other hand he is my baby, i love him dearly and feel deeply responsible for him as i am aware that there is few people with the patience to put up with his quirks.. Frustratingly he is more than capable of some nice work and i feel he is missing out .I am feeling down and disapointed that i have this horse i spent a fortune on that i love to bits and do everything i can for - but i am missing out on the good times. I appreciate he is young but it really is just his attittude and his reluctance to enjoy what i am pain sakingly trying to give to him. Has any one had a similar experience and worked through this ? Or shall i resign to parting with him ( which really would break my heart ) but i just dont feel he is meeting me half way at all. I worry if i sold him on he would be no better off with somebody else and would get passed on and on. I am jealous of girls on yard with htere good horses who go hunting and to shows where as mine although i have tried to educate him as patiently as i can ( and i am not inexpereinced) I brought him with all intentions as my boy for life ...now 20 years of attitude ahead of me is making me feel down and doubt myslef.. SOS please
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I would send him away for a few weeks to be schooled or get some lessons with a good firm instructor - my mums horse went though this phase and once he realise you are a big boy now this is what big boys do he was fine, have you got another horse to hack out with?
 
There are two good books by Kelly Marks - Perfect Partners and Perfect Manners. Some of the exersises in the Perfect Manners book might help and also help you determine when he is genuinely scared (and how to work through it) and when he is being 'lazy' and what you can do about each.

It is a good sensible book and not 'bunny hugger-y' at all!
 
What exactly does he do?

Has anyone else ridden him? I would get in a an experienced instructor/trainer/rider (I would spend alot of time getting the right person) and then even get a second opinion afterwards.... As no offence at all, but sometimes things from a different perspective can make all the difference and what he might be like for you could be quite different with someone else on his back and asking the questions.

Best of luck, but please remember he is a) a horse. He has no idea he is breaking your dreams! Or not fullfilling his true potential and b) he is still a baby. We all take different amounts of time to grow, develope and progress. Getting someone else to offer a hand may help him mature as it might bring a new element into his life and offer you some light into the situation. xxx
 
The problem is, he is not a baby, he is a big strong horse. You need to stop treating him like a human and treat him like the big strong, stroppy young horse he is.

You have invested a lot of time, money and emotion in this animal, don't give up. Move him to a more professional yard and work closely with a professional to make the most of him, I appreciate this is expensive, but even a few months of this will change you and him and allow you both to move forwards.
 
What breed is he? He is still a baby remember, but it may be worth finding an experienced instructor to ride him once a week for you? I am assusing as you bought him as a youngster you backed him/brought him on so hes only used to you riding him? I think its really good for horses to have different people ride them. I got my horse as a youngster, and I was the only one that rode him for the first few years-he was great for me but if anyone else did ride he was a little sod. Another point-when hacking out is there someone you can hack out with who has a dead safe horse? Or someone who would hack yours out for you? I only ask because I had an accident on my horse with a tractor and consequrntly he went through a phase of bolting. Hes fine now, if someone else is riding but if I am riding he still gets a bit funny, which is my fault because he can obviously feel me tensing up. Horses are very perceptive, and it sounds a bit like you may have lost your confidence so maybe your horse has lost his confidence in you?? Hope you manage to get something sorted...:)
 
I think sometimes we all humanise our animals and take their behaviour personally, I do this all the time with my horse and dog. I did the same with my youngster and although he wasn't quite like your boy I think I had tried just to hard and wrapped him in cotton wool a little to much. Eventually I got my instructor to do some work with him and compete him and just crack on and put some pressure on him. I think he had become used to doing everything in a laid back manor therefore he didn't like it when he was asked to do a bit more. We did have a battle but eventually he is realising his job. I think it helps to get a third party to help as they are not as emotinally attached. Hang in there, get some good help and crack on, good luck.
 
Send him away for a few weeks to get someone else opinion of him who doesn't know him.

They can then give you a clear route on what he needs, for example
time to mature / increase in work / change of routine / new owner / etc.

It sounds to me as though you are too quick to give him the benefit of the doubt, rather than say -"just bloody get on with your job".
 
i think you need to stop treating him like a baby and start treating him like a rude horse!

there is no need to beat him up but he needs to be very firmly put in his place and shown clearly what is acceptable and what is unacceptable behaviour.

the napping and spooking out hacking sounds like he may be unconfident about being out in the big bad world- some horses will always be spooky but most will improve when shown the world is quite a nice place to explore.

i would recommend a good instructor who can help you on the ground and with the ridden issues (most ride horses to ride are also rude to handle).

fwiw, i have a 5yro very similar to yours. we bought her as a foal with her dam and my mum looked after them for the first year while i was away working.
whilst my mum is horsey she was also very rose tinted about the foal and consequently i came home to a very spoilt toddler.

tbh, while the attitude is still there, she is now a very managable, ridable horse who will take direction if asked nicely AND firmly.
unless my mum handles her and then she turns into a nightmare again!
 
You are going through the exact same thing as me-its horrible!
My mare is my baby (maybe thats the problem) but she is so flipping tricky to ride it is wearing thin and i am starting to depair.
I have had her since a 3yr old, she is now 6, i am a competent and experienced rider but just seem to take one step forward ten steps back with this girl and like you i don't know what to do.

I am unable to think about selling her as can't imagin being without her but at the same time i have not been enjoying it recently and am starting to wonder if we'll ever achieve anything! Like you i put so much time and money into her-it is very disheartening.

I like a challenge and have always bought horses that need work (maybe not as much as this!) and when it goes right with Apple it is the most amazing feeling in the world-its those experiences i do it for. I am looking for a SJ on loan i can compete alongside her as i have accepted the fact it is going to be a slow process with Apple before we are consistently competing.

Think of the positives and the negatives and decide which ones outweigh the other- for me at the moment the positive glimpses mean more that the negative ones but maybe set a date in your mind and assess how you feel in say 2 months-then maybe make a decision? My trainer keeps telling me to think of all the good things we have achieved since i've had her-she also took some photos of a very good flatwork session that i keep up the yard-when i come in from the school and want to kill her i take a deep breath and look at these photos and it reminds me what i'm doing it for.

I keep telling myself that anyone can buy a been there and done it horse (maybe not me i have no money!) but it takes more of a rider have the patience and dedication to ride one like ours! (keep telling yourself that its arrogant but makes you feel better)
 
Another one who says send him to a good professionial - on recommendation who can bring him on. You have given him a good start but now need someone else to broaden his horizons.

I am not a great one for saying just to keep going. I have done this and wasted so much time in the past and its not something I will ever do again. If you reach a brick wall and it stops being fun, you need to look at alternatives and by investing in a professionial you will really get to the bottom of what makes your horse tick.
 
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