What would you do with this horse?

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Bright_Spark

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Am going to be honest here, and would like some honest opnions please.

I have had my mare for 18 months. Due to having a bad year last year , she has not really had much done with her. No school at the yard has not helped. I brought her to have and keep the foal, then back her myself.

I've lost confidence handling her, I've even been in tears leading her in/out from field and stables and shake during/ afterwards because I'm so nervous, which I know is really not helping the situation. She can sometimes be good as gold, other times she rears, bucks and is a nightmare. I admit I have let go of her a couple of times, although did hang on for one 10 minute leaping session where she nearly broke my arm.

Thing is, you can't predict it, one second she is calm, the next she's four feet in the air. She also bucks in the stable when stressed.

I try to leave her out as much as possible, but she is currently in due to being in season and YO's shetland stallion feels electric fence is no barrier to a tarty mare.

I'm even worried about moving yards due to her unpredictibleness- at least the people on my current yard know how to act around her.

So I've been thinking about sending her away for starting from scratch training up to backing? Are there any trainers who would be happy to deal with all of these issues? Or do they prefer to have a sane horse to work with. I'd be happy to send her to a BHS-type or NH type. Recommendations very welcome!

I dont want to sell her currently, basically because I think she is worthless as she is and I dont want her to go to a dealers or someone wanting a cheap horse to do up and sell (but who is not prepared for her) or just keep getting sold on. Also beacuse I'd hate for her to hurt someone- which another reason why I am worried about sending her away for backing.

Ok this has turned into a very odd, rambly post. Basically, if you had a horse who is 5, unbacked but is a bit of a nutjob, would you sell, send away for training or any other options?

Thank you.

H
 
If you feel you want to give this horse a chance and want to keep her then I would think you should definitely send her to a professional. They should be able to assess her over a period of time and advise you whether you have enough experience to continue to ride her and bring her on. if they do not feel you have enough experience, then you might want to consider getting them to sell her for you to somebody suitable.

Sorry if that sounds a bit harsh but it sounds like it is a nightmare and you are obviously nervous of handling her. She needs the best chance and so do you. Best to know when to seek help and this sounds like the time.

Hope this helps.
 
Well done you for wanting to do the best for this horse, always lead her with a lunge rein in case she plays up then at least you can keep hold of her and keep yourself safe,would a control halter such as the Monty Roberts one help her to respect you.Also wear gloves.
I think I would search out a trainer with a good reputation to school her and be prepared to pay for it for a couple of months at least.Hopefully they could handle her and back her in that time then you could decide what to do.
Good luck
 
Oh dear - poor you! Sending the mare away for professional help would be a good idea although that will not rectify your confidence with her so she will always pick up on it if you are nervous with her which will affect her behaviour. I know a good person near where I live who is brilliant with problem horses but I am in Somerset so probably a bit far away I'm afraid. Why don't you ask your Yard Owner or some of the other people on your yard if they know of anyone who could help. I think she needs to go back to basics and learn some manners for a start, its no good for you having a horse you are scared of - you should be the boss and not the other way round.
 
Firstly, horrible situation to be in, I feel for you. Once you get scared or worried about a horse it can be very difficult to change your mindset.

Personally I would rather see her ground manners and attitude improve from the floor, with you before considering backing her.

As others have said, I would seek the advice of a professional. The problem is, you may find she is as good as gold with them. If you are going to keep this horse, YOU need to be able to work with her. I would find someone who will back her & work with her and you together.

Good luck!
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Thank you pinkweasel.

I have considered getting a pro to sell her for me, once she is backed. Its not because I want to get more money for her, but so she ends up in a suitable home if thats makes sense.
 
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Well done you for wanting to do the best for this horse, always lead her with a lunge rein in case she plays up then at least you can keep hold of her and keep yourself safe,would a control halter such as the Monty Roberts one help her to respect you.Also wear gloves.
I think I would search out a trainer with a good reputation to school her and be prepared to pay for it for a couple of months at least.Hopefully they could handle her and back her in that time then you could decide what to do.
Good luck

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Thank you.

I usually wear hat and gloves, although will start using lunge rein more often. I have not tried a controller headcollar, but will look at getting on. I've tried putting the leadrope across her nose before and she gets even more stroppy.

I think sending her away is the best option, just need to find someone willing to take her on.
 
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Oh dear - poor you! Sending the mare away for professional help would be a good idea although that will not rectify your confidence with her so she will always pick up on it if you are nervous with her which will affect her behaviour. I know a good person near where I live who is brilliant with problem horses but I am in Somerset so probably a bit far away I'm afraid. Why don't you ask your Yard Owner or some of the other people on your yard if they know of anyone who could help. I think she needs to go back to basics and learn some manners for a start, its no good for you having a horse you are scared of - you should be the boss and not the other way round.

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I think for the right person, I would be willing to send her anywhere. I have asked other people, but they do not know of anyone unfortunatly.

I completly agree that she needs to learn some manners. She has always been a bit unpredictable, but it never used to worry me until recently. Well, it did, but I could cope with it, hence why I've decided I need help.
 
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Firstly, horrible situation to be in, I feel for you. Once you get scared or worried about a horse it can be very difficult to change your mindset.

Personally I would rather see her ground manners and attitude improve from the floor, with you before considering backing her.

As others have said, I would seek the advice of a professional. The problem is, you may find she is as good as gold with them. If you are going to keep this horse, YOU need to be able to work with her. I would find someone who will back her & work with her and you together.

Good luck!
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Thank you. It is horrible as sometimes she can be the soppiest horse ever, but then other times she tries to take your head off.

Yes, I think that is the best plan, I want her ground issues sorted first, then hopefully she can be backed at some point afterwards.

Hmmm, I did not think of it like that, I must admit. ATM, I'm thinking about getting the trainer to sell for me once she is "sorted", although I'd prob end up paying them more that what she'd be worth!

I just feel like giving up horses completely TBH.
 
Well you have definitely made the right decision to get help - I really feel for you - I have a friend who bought a 'lovely' mare who turned out to be not so lovely and got progressively worse until my friend was terrified of her. If you don't have any luck finding somewhere local to send her then feel free to PM me and I can give you the details of the person I know. She is a qualified insructor but also trains point to pointers and does a lot of breaking in/schooling and is really good with horses with problems.
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Don't feel that no-one would be willing to take her. As long as you are homest I'm sure you'll find somewhere. I would make sure the place was either close by or that it was possible for you to go and stay. Then once she was settled you can go down and work with them and her. As Arwen said you need to be comfortable with her again. Remember that she's only young and if you decide she's not the horse for you then I'm sure a professional yard could find her a lovely new home.
 
I think with the control headcollars they can have a paddy and you need to be prepared for that but they release when the horse gives in and then they learn not to try it on .
Again the gloves, hat and lunge rein will be needed.I really hope you get this sorted ,please let me know how you get on.It is refreshing to hear that you are thinking of the horses best interests.
 
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Well you have definitely made the right decision to get help - I really feel for you - I have a friend who bought a 'lovely' mare who turned out to be not so lovely and got progressively worse until my friend was terrified of her. If you don't have any luck finding somewhere local to send her then feel free to PM me and I can give you the details of the person I know. She is a qualified insructor but also trains point to pointers and does a lot of breaking in/schooling and is really good with horses with problems.
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Thank you very much, thats very nice of you. Mine was sold as a lovely, quiet horse, which she can be, but she seems to prefer acting like the spawn of satan.
 
Hi there,
So sorry to hear you're having a rough time. I can whole heartedly recommend Mike Peace in Oxford, 01865 842806, if anyone can sort her out then he can, without gadgets/pressure halters etc. You're right to be nervous about sending her away, this kind of horse brings out the worst in people!! Don't give up yet, send her away and have a bit of a break to think about things. Best of luck.
 
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Don't feel that no-one would be willing to take her. As long as you are homest I'm sure you'll find somewhere. I would make sure the place was either close by or that it was possible for you to go and stay. Then once she was settled you can go down and work with them and her. As Arwen said you need to be comfortable with her again. Remember that she's only young and if you decide she's not the horse for you then I'm sure a professional yard could find her a lovely new home.

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Thank you muddy_grey. That is certainly useful to consider.
 
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I think with the control headcollars they can have a paddy and you need to be prepared for that but they release when the horse gives in and then they learn not to try it on .
Again the gloves, hat and lunge rein will be needed.I really hope you get this sorted ,please let me know how you get on.It is refreshing to hear that you are thinking of the horses best interests.

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That sounds like it would help her then. I will certainly keep you updated. I feel like she would be a fab horse with work and am willing to admit that perhaps I am not right for her, but that she still deserves a chance to have a great home.
 
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Hi there,
So sorry to hear you're having a rough time. I can whole heartedly recommend Mike Peace in Oxford, 01865 842806, if anyone can sort her out then he can, without gadgets/pressure halters etc. You're right to be nervous about sending her away, this kind of horse brings out the worst in people!! Don't give up yet, send her away and have a bit of a break to think about things. Best of luck.

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That is great Bubbles, thank you very much for the phone number.

At least if she is sent away I wont really have anything to lose, either I'll sell her or keep her (if I can get confident with her again).
 
Well if you get her broken and sweet to handle, then at least you've got a horse that you'll sell easily
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May be worth having a vet to look at her as well, perhaps the tantrums are hormone related. All the best, she <u>will</u> come right.
 
Hello SC

I thought I would tell you about my experience with my pony. I bought her in dec 06 and she was sold to me by friends as being a 100% perfect to lead and bring in etc and I had tried her many times and she seemed to be good at being led about, she is a 13.3 welsh

After bringing her to my yard (very large and concrete city style with 50 plus horses) - within a day she was a monster to lead - barging out of stables - galloping off - jumping up and down charging, bucking and rearing - NOTHING could hold her back - we tried everything from monty roberts gadgets to piping being put across her chest to being smacked, lunge rope - you name it we tried it - and lots of ground work which just made her worse TBH .....

I got to the point that I was heart broken - the others on the yard hated her and wanted the YO to kick us off!! I was so sad as she was an angel to ride and had perfect manners apart from this.

I got a very famous horse trainer (one of monty roberts friends) to come and see her - and after two hours they picked up that she was not happy and started to work on her behavior straight away - lots of backing up and ensuring that she never walked anywhere but behind you - it was constant - the minute she would get along side you - back her up - to the point that they would get bored !! lol - It really did help lots although the trainer did explain to me that she was a fiesty thing and would always be a bit loud and bouncy (which I knew anyway :-) ).

I moved yards a few weeks later - took her to a small livery yard where the turnout was individual and the place was hot on rountines, and NO STALLIONS :-) - she settled withing a day and I have never had a single problem with her since being led anywhere. So maybe your horse is just not happy, as now I can see mine was so bad at being led - it wasnt just manners - it was more anxiety and upset. Now and again she bounces about like a stallion but very rare and if she does she's bouncing about behind me !! lol - On her bouncy days - I lead her in a chifney as the paddock is in a public estate so it gives me that bit of control if needs be - they are simple to use and very effective but please get someone to show you how to use one first as are strong!!!

I am so sorry for you as my pony nearly ruined me - all the best xxxx
 
Good for you for doing what you can to find this mare a good home and insure a long and happy life for her! I always feel a bit fearful when people send unbroken older horses off into the world because you're right, they do often end up in terrible trouble.

Far more people than you probably realise end up in such situations so first off, don't beat yourself up about it. The oldest mare I ever had to break was 9! and was bought because she hadn't been weaned from her mother!!! The owner bought the 2 for 1 deal as a total bargain, thinking she could back the young one as a first time project and then found herself with far more than she bargained for. BUT the mare came along well (after a rather exciting start!) and went on to a great home jumping with a teenager. Even considering the money she paid me to start the horse she still ended up with a good deal and no doubt saved the young horse from a bad end.

Don't stress about "getting someone to take her" - people who work with young/difficult horses make their living's doing such things so you are certainly not asking anyone a favour! You'll have to see what sort of arrangement you can work but you will probably end up having to pay to get her started reasonably before you can speak to someone about any sort of consignment arrangement. In fact I'd recommend it because then if things are not working out - or, even better, go faster than anticipated - it makes the situation more cut and dried. And if by some chance someone comes along and wants to buy her while the process is in play then great, bonus.

It really does sound like a professional situation. I always like to do horses "at home" if suitable facilities are available and involve the owner/regular handler as much as he/she wants but if the situation warrants it best to send her away. At least if you send her to someone specialising in such situations they should be well set up to deal with her properly as she settles in and starts her working life.

Good luck!
 
Thank you again for all of your replies.

Bubbles, that is a very good suggestion about getting the vet to check her. I will get her looked before decideing to send her anywhere to see what my vet thinks.

Browbrow, thank you for your post about your mare. I am glad to hear that you was able to get help and cope with your mare. I am begining to think another yard would perhaps be better for my mare.

Thank you for the link tinypony. I've had a quick look and I will certainly keep Jason in mind.

Thank you TarrSteps, your post was very useful, especially regarding selling arrangements. I think that it would be best to send her away as there is not really any facilities at my yard currently.

I will keep you all updated.
 
Seriously I wish you the best of luck but dont worry, there are plenty of mad people out there who will be happy to take on the challenge of a difficult horse. Youll find someone and Im sure shell come back in a far better frame of mind and then you can get on with relaxing and having fun x
 
u are ummming and ahhhhing like i was about poppy, i had no confidence with her at all, and cryed on numberous occasions just leadin her also. i wanted to send her away for trainin etc but it was far to expensive and i doubt she would respond. i hav had pop for 5 years now and for the first 3 and a half we were best buds still are just a bit of a love hate relationship

i finally came to the decision to put her on loan and it's one of the best things i've ever done, she is becoming more obedient better behaved (the lady she went to is usin parelli on her) and she a hell of a lot happy now. also i now have fabby abby who keeps me safe. so it all worked out for me in the end.

i think some partnerships just aren't meant to be and it is often better for the both sides to part ways. i became so stressed out with poppy and it was doing me and her no good at all. i only put poppy out on permanent loan tho so if her problem do come back and her new owner can't cope she can come home her and not be passed from place to place

i hope it all works out for u xxxxxxxxxxx
 
tons of great advice so far. I got my mare and within a week she changed and terrified the life out of me. Fate would have it that i met someone who did parelli. Not everyones cuppa tea but it was our salvation. I didn't send her away though, we both went. I had to learn what she was being taught and how to continue in the same vein or it would have been a waste of time really.
Someone said that once you have become afraid, it is hard to turn that around, I agree totally but its not impossible. We are fine now (not to say we don;t have the odd wobble) and I have a pretty normal horse. Well for a chestnut mare ex racehorse lol.
Good luck with her.
 
Thank you all once again.

sallypops, I had not thought about putting her out on loan, but that could be an option (if anyone wants an unbroken, bad-mannered evil cowbag that is).

chestnut_mare1, mine is a chestnut tb too. I would consider parelli, I know someone who had a cob who was a bit of a git, she met someone who did parelli and it worked for them too. I would also want someone to help me or even to start her, then I join in later on.

I have been given so much helpful advice and have a lot of options to consider now, so thank you all.
 
I had a 6yo Hanoverian mare once for breaking - she was a BEAST to handle initially, but once she was broken and riding, calmed down no end! Hopefully your mare will be the same
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