What would you do?

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Bedlam

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Okay, this is not a horsey post but I hope somebody out there might help!!!!

My daughter is at boarding school and came home this weekend to jump a friend's horse for them. She's a bit bright and on the G&T register and her best subject is English. She has a new English teacher this term and she hates him. We have a parent's evening on Tuesday, and I just wondered what everybody else would do.

This man apparently talked about an agony aunt giving advice to a girl in a magazine who had 'pleasured' herself with a board marker (at the time he is holding up a board marker and waggling it) and that when she had finished and pulled the marker out, the cap came off and was left inside. She needed medical help to sort everything out.

My daughter is 12. Do you think this is an appropriate thing for her English teacher to be discussing with the class?

I think I will phone beforehand and ask for an appointmnet with her form tutor to discuss it. What do you reckon?
 
Absolutely not an appropriate thing to discuss in an English lesson. - I would definitely mention it to her form tutor, tactfully.

I am amazed at what the kids see at schools now - my (nearly) 12 year old has been watching explicit sex videos in science (but no mention of contraception) - I really think the parents should have been warned about these videos and be given the opportunity to sensor them if they wished.
 
No,no, no. Don't go to head of year, or head teacher. I say this as a science teacher. Yes, totally inappropriate and IF it's true, he shouldn't have done it BUT and this may only be a but as I don't know your daughter....but she may have exaggerated what he has said or in fact be repeating what another pupil has said or talked about in class.

So, for this reason only I would suggest you speak to the Head of English who will have a quiet word with this teacher. If you go bowling in to head of year, they will only just refer to head of department anyway. So, speak to HOD first and get the teachers side of the story.

I speak from experience having had 3 boys plot together, as they decided they didn't like me, by saying that I had sworn at them when kept in detention which is completely untrue. This came out when they were individually questioned as they couldn't get their stories straight, but god it gave me sleepless nights for a week and my career could have been jepodised.

Don't get me wrong, i'm sure your daughter is lovely, but you have mentioned she doesn't like this teacher.....for whatever reason.

 
I think The_Psephologist gave the best advice. However if your daughter has relayed the situation to you correctly I think it was not an appropriate thing to discuss in an English lesson and should be sorted out. Tread carefully and get all the facts first before doing anything. Good luck with sorting it out!
 
Totally inappropriate behaviour and this man knows it. If you believe your daughter's story is true I would go straight to the head teacher and demand an investigation, before he selects one of the less secure girls who won't tell her parents and it escalates into abuse.
 
atwork, completely inflammatory advice.

Why oh why are parents so keen to run to the head teacher??? Why don't parents realise that the Head very often has no idea of what is going on at this level? That's why they have deputy's and assistants and pastoral heads.

I've been an assistant head of year and had to deal with this sort of thing on an almost weekly basis. 99% of the time the kids were making stuff up. It's damaging to a persons reputation and career. Yes I agree that there are inappropriate people out there, BUT remember why most teachers are there please?? I'm fed up of the profession taking a beating. We're not there to babysit your kids you know.
 
That's why the "If you believe your daughter's story..." bit - but I've been amazed by the lack of knowledge of most 12yo and found them far less sophisticated than I believed and media hype would tell you. I think that it is unlikely - not impossible - that they would invent a story quite like that one, it's too adult.

While I have some sympathy with the teacher who's persecuted by the pupils what if the story is true? People refusing to believe or act on stories like these are the reason so much abuse goes undetected. Perhaps the child dislikes the teacher because of his behaviour towards the girls in his class?
 
Totally agree with you TP. My experience of children of this age is quite different to some on here; this age-group have actually surprised me with HOW MUCH they know!

I have an 11 year old and although she tells the truth, I don't necessarily believe everything that pops out of her mouth because once you actually use your investigative tactics you often find out inconsistencies in the stories which leads you to believe that although they are not lying, they have also not quite got the story right!

PS. Soapbox is the place for this.
 
I used to deal with student disciplinaries (not school though 16yr olds and upwards)...and suggest The Psephologist's post is the best idea.
When we took disciplinary action against students...for often dangerous behaviours...they would tell their parents whole fictions to avoid responsibility. The parents often came in to meetings to support their children, and were shocked to find out exactly what their child had done...they ended up apologising to the staff. So tread lightly!
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