What would you do??

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DunRoamin

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Friday night i had a phone call from my ex girlfriend (the one that got married not long ago) in absolute bits, her best friend has died at the age of 27 from an aids related illness, I knew she was sick nd didn't have long left but was shocked its happened so soon, M has asked me to attend the funeral with her, No i did know the Bf pretty well so would like to go to say goodbye, but M wants me there as her 'date' for want of a better term as the husband has said point blank he won go!!!!
So do i A) go with and support M or B)go but make my own way there nd attend as a friend of Rose instead?
 
I would go on own and leave ex to sort self out. Maybe a bit mean but depends on whether or not you have stayed friends with this ex or if this was a call out of the blue.
 
attend on your own
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I would go and support your friend. Doesnt really matter in what capacity, she must be devasated and shocked. It would be the actions of a good friend.
 
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I would go and support your friend. Doesnt really matter in what capacity, she must be devasated and shocked. It would be the actions of a good friend.

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completely agree,
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Yeah i see where your coming from but she's not really a friend, she M that is happens to be my ex girlfriend who left me out of the blue nd then less than six months later married some random man nd let me to find out via her 'groupies' on facebook,
 
From what you have told us, and I do hope I have this right, your ex pretty much left you and got married with no contact which must have been very hard for you and you have been trying to move on.

I find it a bit strange that she is ringing you to support her now, when her husband doesn't seem to be. Has she no other friends who were equally fond of her BF who would give her support - they must have mutual friends, apart from you, surely?

Is there a danger you are being used? Do you think she may have made a mistake marrying and wants you back? I know if my husband didn't want to support me with something I most definitely would NOT go running to an ex. I may not like it but I would respect his decision and go by myself.

If I were you I would make my own way there and attend as a friend of Rosie and take it from there and support her if she needs it.
 
Archiesmummy you have it spot on! nd my ex can be a very manipulative (sp) bitch nd although she's hurting about rose, i am too!! nd she knows that i cant handle being around her when she is upset, i want to go but also i dont think i can cope going by myself, nd i only knew rose through my ex so other than M i wont know anyone else there, she (m) on the other hand will.
 
Isme - Just a thought, but you can always pay your respects privately. I have done this when I haven't been able to face going to a funeral - I took myself off to a quiet place to contemplate.

You have said your ex is very manipulative but do you still hold a candle for her? If you do, you are very vulnerable and a big fat juicy can of worms may be about to be opened.

You appear to have been very strong through all thats happened although I am sure you were very, very upset by it all and you seem to have a situation before you that could, potentially, open up old wounds and you will be hurt again in the future. If your ex is capable of doing what she did to you once I think she would probably do it again.

I do hope you are ok and come to the right decision.
 
AM- yes i do indeed still hold a candle for her but i have been doing very well in blowing it out
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however i'm not sure if seeing her (all be it falling apart) will be like holding a tortch to the candle wick as it were, i also know if her husband
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where going then i wouldn't be even thinking about going... i hate funerals nd chuch's as it is, but i know that Rose would want me there,
 
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