what would you do????

annunziata

annunziata

Well-Known Member
Joined
3 January 2008
Messages
1,991
Location
cambridgeshire
Visit site
Right been on my yard for a year and a half love it, horse loves it. Yard owner is as mad a as a box of fish but she is brilliant. We kind of have an unsung rule that i help her with her two horses and she helps me with mine. Well her husband was really sick last year so I adopted her horse and looked after him. She then got a foal as well so no I am helping look after three horses of here when she goes away for weekends which I dont mind.

This is what I am getting a little annoyed about. My friend who stables there is on part livery and pays yard owner to bring in or turn out, skip out ect. When she goes away she just expects me to look after her horse as well as her three and still charges my friend and give me nothing (a bottle of wine would be awesome!!!)

Said horse almost landed on my head and my BF went spare and said enough and told owner that I almost got hurt and she will have to find someone else to look after said horse.

Right I am off work on the first week of june. I wrote it in the diary so everyone would know I would not been down at 6am to bring in and they will have to sort their horses out. Everyone is fine with that. YO booked a holiday that week knowing I was off to look after the horses and now she is taking on a FULL livery horse that she expects me to look after :(
At a bit of a loss as of what to do. I feel like a door mat and I have the week off to spend time with my BF as we both work hard and I wanted to spend time with my donkey as well, but looks like I am going to be poo picking and mucking out. My question is what would you say to her???
 
annunziata said:
Right been on my yard for a year and a half love it, horse loves it. Yard owner is as mad a as a box of fish but she is brilliant. We kind of have an unsung rule that i help her with her two horses and she helps me with mine. Well her husband was really sick last year so I adopted her horse and looked after him. She then got a foal as well so no I am helping look after three horses of here when she goes away for weekends which I dont mind.

This is what I am getting a little annoyed about. My friend who stables there is on part livery and pays yard owner to bring in or turn out, skip out ect. When she goes away she just expects me to look after her horse as well as her three and still charges my friend and give me nothing (a bottle of wine would be awesome!!!)

Said horse almost landed on my head and my BF went spare and said enough and told owner that I almost got hurt and she will have to find someone else to look after said horse.

Right I am off work on the first week of june. I wrote it in the diary so everyone would know I would not been down at 6am to bring in and they will have to sort their horses out. Everyone is fine with that. YO booked a holiday that week knowing I was off to look after the horses and now she is taking on a FULL livery horse that she expects me to look after :(
At a bit of a loss as of what to do. I feel like a door mat and I have the week off to spend time with my BF as we both work hard and I wanted to spend time with my donkey as well, but looks like I am going to be poo picking and mucking out. My question is what would you say to her???
Click to expand...

Have a chat and say that unfortunately you don't have time for all of the above and she might want to look into hiring someone for when she is away or wants a break. Say that you don't mind how it started and could afford that time but not to do other horses too. You have taken the time off work for a break, not to take on another job.

Would you be willing to work for pay? If so tell her, but personally I would just state that you don't mind helping with her two and vice versa but don't want more than that. She probably won't mind, but she needs to be told directly and not by hints... perhaps also talk to friend and say that the owner is off that week and she might want to talk about who is looking after her horse as you are also not working.

Pan
 
IMO she is taking advantage big time. Difficult one though as you probably don't want to fall out.

I would suggest that as you are doing more for her, you would like to be paid for it. Then in turn you would have to pay her when you want yours doing.
This way if you are doing so much you would probably come out better off anyway, or it may just make her think twice about asking you to do so much.

Re week off, I wouldn't shift on this. If you have organised to have it off and she knew that, then tough poo IMO. Her yard = her problem. It's her business, she takes home the earnings and it's up to her to arrange cover if she wants to go away. :)
 
hi im sorry to hear youve been taken advantage of -unfortunately this will happen as i too have discovered in the past. i told everyone that i was very sorry but all the extra work has given me a bad back and i was unable to do everything for them-- from now! they will get over it and just remember to be more cautious who you offer your help to--some people cant help taking the mick!:rolleyes:
 
I would say NO!! That is taking the p*ss!!! A little give and take with help is fine. But YO gets paid to look after these horses. If she is going away, she needs to pay someone else to do it. Not expect you to do it for free. You enjoy your time off, don't spend it looking after everyone else's horses! :)
 
I am not sure what you are gaining from this arrangement, is your livery free because it sounds like at the very least it should be.

It is always difficult to mix business with friendship , somehow you need to either step out of it or sit down with the YO and sort something out to suit you both before it ends badly as you are obviously resenting being taken for granted, who can blame you it sounds very one sided.
 
i have been in more a less the same position as u and i know how it feels but you think to yourself im doing it for the horse so i know they are well cared for dont you? you need to tell her its too much for you and come to some agreement :) do you actually want to sort these horses out if so would you be happy with half the full livery charges? or would you prefer to just sort your own out? your not being mean in telling her its too much for you, you kinow! you need a break too! Personally i'd say to her "whos looking after yours while your away" and if she says "you" id say "i told you im on holiday from work and wasnt in a position to do it" see what she says then :)

good luck!!

AJ x
 
Just say no. Favours between friends are one thing, but asking you to spend a weeks holiday doing the full livery, the part & her 3 is taking advantage. As is taking the money for the part livery if you've done the work.
 
Cut the ties, don't let the work build and build, chances are she is not doing it to be spiteful and genuinely doesn't know what she is doing is too much/getting to you and is getting a bit carried away not really thinking it through! Yes it's selfish but it will take for you to do something to make her realize that.

I would suggest a period of cutting ANY responsibilities with any other horses except your own, tell everyone you're very short for time at the moment (bring up other responsibilities, even fib a bit if you have to, it's just to make a point) turn up, do what you have to/want to do with your own horses and leave, don't hang around the yard looking for extra work unnecessarily, make them aware you are far too busy a person for that and that it is not your job to do so!
 
be positive said:
I am not sure what you are gaining from this arrangement, is your livery free because it sounds like at the very least it should be.

It is always difficult to mix business with friendship , somehow you need to either step out of it or sit down with the YO and sort something out to suit you both before it ends badly as you are obviously resenting being taken for granted, who can blame you it sounds very one sided.
Click to expand...

OMG I WISH!! I am still paying £155 DIY and all my food bedding ect on top. It all started when I went away last year and she looked after my boy and I went to pay her the extra and she told me not to bother since her husband had been so ill and i helped then. Ever since I have been looking after her horses. I will talk to her tonight as my BF is going to leave me if I spend the whole week mucking out!!

TBH its the lack of thank you that winds me up properly and when I told her the part livery hrose almost landed on my head her answer was she was never a problem for anyone else to bring in!!! My friend has shifted her work so she can look after her horse on DIY.

thanks guys for the messages at least I know I am not going mad!!!
 
Simples - remind her you are on holiday that week, have other commitments & cannot do any other horses apart from yours as no extra time.

That leads you into the discussion that you are now finding it tight for time, and so rather than do swaps with her for your horses for hers, you think its better if you pay each other each time, then nobody can get in a pickle with who owes who what.

My Lovely Livery is paid when she does mine, she pays me when I do hers, no arguments & its no problem :)
 
I think you need to sit down with her and say things are getting a bit out of hand. Say you don't mind helping her with her horse if she can help with yours but you shouldn't be expected to do the work for other horses that she is paid to do. If she needs help then she should pay you or discount your livery.

I would arrange fo someone to look after yours while your away and she'll have to sort out the rest! Flipping cheek.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top