What would you do :(

[Equine_Dream]

I am currently the very proud owner of 2 beautiful horses. A 13.2 Welsh Sec C gelding and a 14.3 Sec D mare.
My little gelding was my first pony. I bought back in 2014 following a total confidence knock with a mare I was loaning having a habit of bolting.
He had previously been on my yard and I knew the little fellow well. When I saw that his owner was selling him I jumped at the chance to buy him. He is a completely bombproof ride that always looks after his rider and was perfect for me to get my confidence back.
The pony I got however was a lot different to the pony that was on the yard 6 months earlier. Underweight and dead behind the eyes. Turns out his owner had loaned him to a whip happy kids who had almost galloped him into the ground.
It was October time and it was one hell of a struggle but I brought him through the winter looking half decent and he started acting like the cheeky happy pony I knew from before. Our rides together were bringing back my confidence to.
A year later he was back to his old self completely and looked fantastic. My confidence had come on so much and I decided to buy a second more forward going horse so got my mare. However I couldn't bare to part with my lovely little safe happy hacker gelding.
My mare is only 5 and so took up more of my time. So my little gelding spent the winter out in his favourite paddock with his friends munching hay. I'd hop on occasionally and go for a quiet hack and he was fine.
Now it's the summer and I've turned him out in a 40 acres with other horses and he is happy as happy can be.
However and here's the thing, people are always telling me I should sell him. Someone approached my boyfriend the other day asking if I would sell my gelding to them as they were looking for a child's first pony. When my boyfriend said politely that I'd more likely sell him to them over my gelding they said I wasn't using my gelding so it seemed a waste. A few people have made similar comments and it's starting to get to me.
Aside the fact I love him to bits I feel I owe him more than to risk him ending up in the hands of another whip happy kid. At least with me I know he's safe and happy and I couldn't guarantee that if I sold him.
Am I being selfish? Should I sell him? I really don't know what to do

 

[wills_91]

If he's happy and you are happy then ignore what anyone else has to say. If you think he would enjoy some extra attention and exercise then why not look into a loan/share where he could remain on the yard? Not all kids are whip happy, there are plenty out there who would jump at the chance for a well mannered pony and love and treasure him like you do.

 

[Elf On A Shelf]

Your horse, your choice. Personally I wouldn't sell him. Maybe loan/share him with someone that would love to hack him a few days a week so he has a job but he stays on your yard under your care and guidance? Not that he probably cares if he is ridden or not! Being a native he will.be more than happy doing nothing but eating for the rest of his days.

No horse is wasted that is doing the job you want it to do. Whether it be picking up Olympic Gold Medals or simply being a lawn mower. Dont feel bad or let people feel you are doing him wrong. They are just jealous because he is yours and not theirs.

 

[Shay]

You are ABSOLUTELY NOT being selfish! (Forgive the shouting) Quite the reverse. Ponies don't care if they are "wasted". He has a happy life with you, you want him and you can afford him. End of story. I completely understand why people might want to buy him. But they can't. End of.

If you want to, you could consider having a child to share him whilst he remains at your yard so that you know that he is being ridden well and cared for. I too have my daughter's first pony who is a PC perfect saint (and I'm not just saying that because we love him!) We've been pressed to sell him on or to loan him. I'll do neither. He has sharers who come and ride him - but on my terms. And if I don't have anyone I like he doesn't get ridden as much. But in fact I almost always have a waiting list for him.

Never let anyone tell you he is "wasted". He won't think of his life that way. Don't you.

<<<hugs>>>

 

[Caol Ila]

I am sure the gelding is loving life turned out in 40 acres with his friends, and you are right in that you couldn't guarantee him a good home if you sold him. As for anyone who complains you're wasting him, what you do with your horse is not their monkey, not their circus.

I guess these people didn't put an offer on the boyfriend.

 

[Equine_Dream]

If he's happy and you are happy then ignore what anyone else has to say. If you think he would enjoy some extra attention and exercise then why not look into a loan/share where he could remain on the yard? Not all kids are whip happy, there are plenty out there who would jump at the chance for a well mannered pony and love and treasure him like you do.

There are one or two lovely kids up the yard. One in particular is a very quiet little rider and I have considered asking her if she'd like to ride him when he comes in in the autumn. He's the type you can not ride for months and hop back on him without any issues. I rode him a few weeks ago when my mare was ill and he was perfect.

 

[Shay]

There are lovely quiet riders out there and many who would jump at the chance of a pony like this. For me I much prefer to give that type of rider a chance than those with pushy parents pestering me to sell.

You might have guessed I'm a bit passionate about this!

 

[Damnation]

Horses do not know their potential, they don't know they are being "wasted" and 9 times out of 10 are more than happy to chill in the field they do not get bored or anything else. It just doesn't work like that!

I would be absolutely mortifed and offended if people were going up to my partner asking to sell the horse to them and I would NOT react well.

My mothers friend is always telling me to sell my mare. My mare who is stressy, and almost unrideable (Stresses alot!) and quite happy with her life as a lawnmower. I tell her where to shove it on a regular basis, she seems to be getting the hint

ETA: Moral of the story, if you are happy and your pony is happy and healthy and well looked after, who gives a damn!

 

[Equine_Dream]

Thank you all so much for the reassurance. He is loving life out in his summer field. Being a native though he's looking a bit podgy so will definitely need some exercise soon lol. I think asking if one of the better little rider's up the yard if they would like to share him sounds a far better idea than selling him
Also caol lla funnily enough they didn't put an offer on the boyfriend shame because he comes to call and is very good to handle haha

 

[Annagain]

I agree that as long as he's happy and healthy (I'd be a bit worried about weight with him being a pony on 40 acres but I'm sure you're aware of that and dealing with it) you can do what you like with him. If you'd be happy for others to ride him however, it may be worth looking for a sharer - he sounds like he'd be fab for someone just getting into horse ownership and as a share, you can still play a big part in his life, and as you're in no hurry you can wait for the right person to come along! I wouldn't underestimate how much pleasure you can get from watching someone else do well with your pony. I really enjoy it.

Do you like the family who approached your boyfriend to buy him? If so could you offer them a share rather than selling? If not, maybe put the word out quietly amongst your friends, you'll be surprised how well that works. I've just signed up sharer number 5 (over 11 years, they keep moving to Wiltshire and having babies ) and only one was a complete stranger who replied to an ad. All the others were friends of friends (or of my totally un-horsey mum with the latest one!)

 

[Equine_Dream]

I agree that as long as he's happy and healthy (I'd be a bit worried about weight with him being a pony on 40 acres but I'm sure you're aware of that and dealing with it) you can do what you like with him. If you'd be happy for others to ride him however, it may be worth looking for a sharer - he sounds like he'd be fab for someone just getting into horse ownership and as a share, you can still play a big part in his life, and as you're in no hurry you can wait for the right person to come along! I wouldn't underestimate how much pleasure you can get from watching someone else do well with your pony. I really enjoy it.

Do you like the family who approached your boyfriend to buy him? If so could you offer them a share rather than selling? If not, maybe put the word out quietly amongst your friends, you'll be surprised how well that works. I've just signed up sharer number 5 (over 11 years, they keep moving to Wiltshire and having babies ) and only one was a complete stranger who replied to an ad. All the others were friends of friends (or of my totally un-horsey mum with the latest one!)

Thanks Anna. Yes I do keep a very close eye on his weight as he can live on air being a native. Luckily the grass is well grazed but if his weight starts getting to be a problem I will bring him in and put him in another paddock with much less grazing with the other fatties lol.
The family are nice enough but the child is a very rough rider and I do wince when I've seen her ride a friends pony in the school. I couldn't keep my mouth shut if she were riding my boy like that.
I am a fuss pot with my horses but there are some lovely kids on the yard and I feel we could definitely look at them sharing him and see how they get on

 

[Siennasong]

I am currently the very proud owner of 2 beautiful horses. A 13.2 Welsh Sec C gelding and a 14.3 Sec D mare.
My little gelding was my first pony. I bought back in 2014 following a total confidence knock with a mare I was loaning having a habit of bolting.
He had previously been on my yard and I knew the little fellow well. When I saw that his owner was selling him I jumped at the chance to buy him. He is a completely bombproof ride that always looks after his rider and was perfect for me to get my confidence back.
The pony I got however was a lot different to the pony that was on the yard 6 months earlier. Underweight and dead behind the eyes. Turns out his owner had loaned him to a whip happy kids who had almost galloped him into the ground.
It was October time and it was one hell of a struggle but I brought him through the winter looking half decent and he started acting like the cheeky happy pony I knew from before. Our rides together were bringing back my confidence to.
A year later he was back to his old self completely and looked fantastic. My confidence had come on so much and I decided to buy a second more forward going horse so got my mare. However I couldn't bare to part with my lovely little safe happy hacker gelding.
My mare is only 5 and so took up more of my time. So my little gelding spent the winter out in his favourite paddock with his friends munching hay. I'd hop on occasionally and go for a quiet hack and he was fine.
Now it's the summer and I've turned him out in a 40 acres with other horses and he is happy as happy can be.
However and here's the thing, people are always telling me I should sell him. Someone approached my boyfriend the other day asking if I would sell my gelding to them as they were looking for a child's first pony. When my boyfriend said politely that I'd more likely sell him to them over my gelding they said I wasn't using my gelding so it seemed a waste. A few people have made similar comments and it's starting to get to me.
Aside the fact I love him to bits I feel I owe him more than to risk him ending up in the hands of another whip happy kid. At least with me I know he's safe and happy and I couldn't guarantee that if I sold him.
Am I being selfish? Should I sell him? I really don't know what to do

I wouldn't sell. You love him and can afford to keep him. Horses don't have the ambitions that we do, we impose these onto them. Is it at waste that all the wild horses out there in the world are wild? he is happy, living in his field, living the way nature intended. I also would be wary about whose hands my horse ended up in and personally I would want to have my horse's future and happiness assured - the only way you can do that is to keep him.. So no you are not being selfish and in fact I think you are being very loving and your take on this is beautiful, that after all your horse has done for you you want to return the favour and make sure he has the best life and safe future. It is highly commendable and shows how grateful you are and you haven't just viewed him as a commodity, got what you want and sent him off. I'm one who believes horses are like family and should be kept for life.. Dont listen to people and enjoy x

 

[Equine_Dream]

I wouldn't sell. You love him and can afford to keep him. Horses don't have the ambitions that we do, we impose these onto them. Is it at waste that all the wild horses out there in the world are wild? he is happy, living in his field, living the way nature intended. I also would be wary about whose hands my horse ended up in and personally I would want to have my horse's future and happiness assured - the only way you can do that is to keep him.. So no you are not being selfish and in fact I think you are being very loving and your take on this is beautiful, that after all your horse has done for you you want to return the favour and make sure he has the best life and safe future. It is highly commendable and shows how grateful you are and you haven't just viewed him as a commodity, got what you want and sent him off. I'm one who believes horses are like family and should be kept for life.. Dont listen to people and enjoy x

Aww thank you so much! I welled up reading your reply. I really do owe that little pony so much. My confidence was so low the thought of getting on a horse filled me with dread. I honestly was ready to give up.
I'm now progressing to competitions with my mare and and really looking forward to hunting this season and it's all down to that little gelding giving me the confidence to ride again. So yes I really do feel I owe him a great deal.
Thank you for understanding and summarising my feelings so eloquently siennasong :,)

 

[Schollym]

Could he be broken to drive, then the boyfriend could get involved with him as well. My husband had some fun times with my 11.3. Then you don't have to 'explain' your need to keep him to anyone!

 

[Equine_Dream]

Could he be broken to drive, then the boyfriend could get involved with him as well. My husband had some fun times with my 11.3. Then you don't have to 'explain' your need to keep him to anyone!

Driving isn't really our thing tbh but thank you for the suggestion all the same

 

[indiat]

Between myself and my two daughters we have a herd of five, all very like your little confidence giver. All ridden only lightly, none of them out winning loads of trophies. We don't care, they are a herd and part of our family and we love them all dearly. Personally, I wouldn't give up a confidence giver, they are worth their weight in gold. My girls like to make digs about the slowness of my lovely Highland boy compared to their whizzy ponies but if they have a fall or a fright, guess who they get on to get their confidence back?! You love him and you can afford him and he sounds happy, so tell other people to be less generous with their opinions.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

Then you don't have to 'explain' your need to keep him to anyone!

Why anyone would think that you have to explain yourself and your choices, I can't imagine! Your pony, your money, your choice. What on earth do people think it has to do with them?
I certainly wouldn't sell this pony, with his history.

 

[melbiswas]

Having spent the last 10 years with children and ponies I have found it very hard to watch willing, honest ponies being ridden and treated badly by their riders, with parents seemingly oblivious or regarding them as a plaything without limits.
I think you are very right to be protective of your boy OP.

 

[Spilletta]

Not selfish in the slightest. He's happy, you're happy keeping him, so no reason to change anything.

I can understand someone asking if he's for sale, but after they get a straightforward no for an answer then they should respect that answer and leave it at that. Anyone who pushes the issue with you are the ones being selfish, not you.

 

[Leo Walker]

I would get a sharer/rider so hes getting the work he needs. I have a stonking 6yr old cob who would almost certainly benefit from a very active home where he worked hard. Instead he has me He wants for nothing but it does niggle at me a bit that if he worked harder he could eat more and eating is all he cares about :lol: So I have a very keen sharer who hacks him out and absolutely adores him. I'm disabled and am having some major issues health wise at the minute and absolute should sell him. Over my dead body will that happen! He makes me happy and keeps me going and in return I ensure that he is happy and well and its fine. Would it be better for him if he was in a different home? Maybe! but looking around at the other horses I see day to day, maybe not!

 

[silv]

Really it is nobody's business to be commenting to you that your pony is wasted.
He sounds a darling and I can totally understand that you want him to be safe and never end up in the wrong home. Going by what you have written he has a fabulous home with you and you enjoy having him and wish to continue to provide that for him, so no don't feel guilty about not selling him.

 

[zaminda]

Considering how quickly he ended up in a bad way there is no way I would sell. Especially as the child they want him for isn't a nice rider, which me being me I would probably point out!
I have a lovely old boy, who was my first pony, who only ever went out on loan because although super talented, he had the most god awful stop I have ever come across. It was the only way I could guarantee his future. He no longer goes out on loan, but has a weekend rider instead, and I might try and find him a week day rider too.

 

[rachk89]

Nah definitely don't sell. You would regret it as you have no control over who looks after him then and how well they do it. Don't want a rider like that family one who wil be cruel to him.

I 'waste' my horse too to be fair. He could be jumping over 1m by now easily be probably at medium level dressage maybe doing eventing although I think he is too slow for that. But i am taking my time with him and not rushing him or myself.

I would actually be a bit annoyed if someone asked to buy him because I was wasting him. I would never sell him anyway most i would do is loan. He didn't look great when i bought him ugly feet underfed and just a fed up manner at 6. No horse should be fed up especially not that young. He is double the size now has good feet and best of all he is happy. Wouldn't sell him because i don't trust anyone else to look after him how i do. I know that's stupid as there are many people who could but i can't take that risk with him. Plus i love the cheeky big brat that he is. Pretty sure if someone bought him they would bring him back in a week with complaints anyway.

 

[ozpoz]

Smile at them all, and say, "yes,everyone wants to buy him but I'm afraid I won't part with him".
What it boils down to seems to be this - you have a pony lots of people wish to own.
Don't feel guilty - be happy!

 

[MurphysMinder]

I wouldn't sell him, but maybe try and find a child to ride him just to help keep his weight down. We still have both of my daughters now retired ponies, plus her horse who is effectively retired as she has moved to USA. I am lucky that we have a couple of acres of our own and are able to rent a further 6 acres next door, they don't appear too stressed that they are wasted, although one of the ponies was loaned out a couple of times when she was younger, they are all in their 20s and have earned their retirement.

 

[Ceriann]

I've kept and am keeping horses who I don't ride simply to ensure they have a good life. I don't think I'm the only person that can care for them (there are lots of amazing horse owners out there) but it's what I choose to do. They have no idea they are being wasted and in fact my currently retired mare is far more relaxed and better behaved since she's been turned out and left to do nothing. If he's happy and you're happy that's all that matters.

 

[skint1]

It's really refreshing to see there are a lot of people who value their horse's company beyond what the horse can do for them. Over the course of my horsey life, most of it spent on livery yards, what I've noticed is everyone has an opinion about everything, that includes me too

Some of those opinions will be worth listening to, some will have some kind of ulterior motive attached, some people just really like the sound of their own voice! Smile sweetly and thank them for sharing their opinion and carry on doing what you know is best for your pony- unless they're paying your bills it's really all just noise.