What would you do

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Finlib

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Hi looking for a bit of advice.
We live in a very rural spot no close neighbours mostly farmers no horsey people close by except our nearest neighbour whose fields adjoin one of our fields.
Said neighbour wants to go away and asked if we are home this particular week.
She has found someone to live in but according to her he has very limited horse experience and she wants me around (just incase!!!)
There are 7 ponies to look after all but 2 are late 20's oldest 30.(one gets choke a lot!) They live out on limited grazing and are moved at night to a restricted area so hay feed muck out.
I have horses of my own to do plus my dogs and I will have picked up a new puppy a couple of weeks before this date who will be 12 weeks old at this point with all the potty training and general training implications of that.
She has no family any where near and no friends in the area.
I have at present said I am very wary of being the "go to" person as I wouldn't be happy calling a vet out for someone else's ponies given their ages and cost implications also treatment options of elderly ponies plus I will have my hands full at home.
I've been caught before(not by her) and ended up bringing the horse over to my stables and looking after it for a week poulticing twice a day as the person left in charge couldn't put a head collar on let alone poultice a hoof.
Am I being mean or just realistic.
The fact is accidents happen and horses get sick randomly I had several very elderly horses fine one day and the next in real trouble requiring urgent veterinary intervention. She will be abroard.
Your thoughts!
 
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It's very much a one way street she runs to me for help and I don't think I have ever needed her help she is elderly and not that robust .I have a very experienced person who lives in if I am away plus a network of horsey and farmer friends who would help meout if needed.
 
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I have recommended several agencies and horse services and she says they are all too expensive.My sitter won't do it as she says it's too much work and she doesn't like the set up ( no piped water so all water has to be carried the ponies kept in groups a couple have to be herded and can't caught)
This is someone she has found who does house sitting mostly dogs and cats.
 
I would maybe say that I'll be "in and out with some days away" during that time period so won't be around , but here are some names and numbers of people I'm happy to recommend for the work.
 
horselib said:
I have recommended several agencies and horse services and she says they are all too expensive.My sitter won't do it as she says it's too much work and she doesn't like the set up ( no piped water so all water has to be carried the ponies kept in groups a couple have to be herded and can't caught)
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Yeah.... no thanks.

If she cannot afford suitable cover she shouldn't have them or shouldn't go away.

Folk are bizarre, I mean what would she do if the vet was needed if she thinks hiring a decent freelancer is too much
 
Difficult one.

I was thinking you could recommend a sitter with horse experience but then read your other posts and thought she's going to say they're all too expensive and I suspect she'll say the same about a freelancer too. I have a horrible feeling she's going to pass your number on to her house sitter whether you like it or not.
 
I think with this weather and the new puppy you'll be out a lot so could cast an eye if it's near your garden. In case of problem though, I wouldn't hesitate to call the vet and then call her to come back. I wouldn't take the horse in.
Ultimately it's up to you what you decide, but it could be worth it to have a helpful neighbor in case something comes up with yours.

How far is she going? could she come back driving or she would need to take a flight?
ETA: just saw that you said she will be abroad.
 
I keep an eye on one or two for a good friend if she goes away - I'll poo pick and chuck out hay. I have to drive up the road, but its fine, it takes me ten mins either end of the day. But if she had seven I wouldn't - that's a huge amount of work. And tbh, I dont think my friend would even ask! Really if people want animals they either pay someone to look after them or they don't go away. If she cant afford to pay someone, she maybe should stay at home, or not have horses. I suspect its probably more a case of not wanting to pay someone. I think you will have to be fairly robust, as Sel said, she might just pass your details so maybe say you will be away that week so wouldn't be available if there was an emergency.
 
I too suspect your number will be handed over whether you consent or not.

I would ask her to write a letter to her vets (and to give you a copy) given you consent to incur all / any vet costs you feel necessary
I would ask her to put in writing that you have consent to approve PTS of elderly ponies if you consider it necessary (in your opinion alone) and that she will cover disposal costs. If she can't be contacted while away.

If you really want to not have her help you every again even in small things, I would tell her you can't handle her horses because you wouldn't be insured - but you will tell the live in person what to do if needed.

I personally couldn't watch a pony suffer if non-horsey live in person forgot to give them water or left them on grass all the time etc.

Perhaps even say you'll be happy to help for £10 an hour and you'll keep a list of all the things you're asked to do and the time it takes?
 
Ooh crikey, seven elderly ones - no thank you! I'm afraid I wouldn't touch it, particularly if she's taken advantage before. I would say that you're very busy that week and can't commit to being around.
 
I'd help 🤷🏼‍♀️

From what has been written, the neighbour is not asking OP to actually do anything other than be back up in an emergency for the sitter? That isn't time consuming?

Simple enough to say that you won't be able to help on a practical level because of other commitments but happy to be a back up to call if sitter can't reach the owner.

Not a bad idea to suggest that a letter is written giving authority to sitter/OP/vet to make a decision (treatment as well as PTS) in case of an emergency when owner isn't contactable.

Seems a bit mean spirited not to offer owner some reassurance as a back up. For whatever reasons they haven't been able to form a safety network and we've no idea why they have to go away. It could be something very serious. I'm assuming the herd is all well looked after or OP would have involved a welfare association.

I honestly can't believe how selfish some of the replies have been.
 
If the non-horsey house sitter has been shown how to do everything and really will only call on you in an emergency, I'd be inclined to go with it and hope I wouldn't be bothered, as it sounds like the owner would probably rely on you in an emergency situation anyway. I would emphasise that it really is for emergencies only though and insist she contacts the vets to place on record that you can make any decisions for the horses if she can't be accommodated.
 
There are house sitters that will sit for free as long as you are a member. l’d be suggesting that to her. I’ve used Trusted House sitters in the past and when l’ve had a ‘keen’ but less experienced one l’ve made sure a friend will pop in just to make sure things are ok. Haven’t used them for a while as luckily l now have fabulous neighbours who will check If we’re away for a day or two. Lots of variables in your situation though. How often is she able to get away? Is this a one off trip, how much will you be expected to do. I make sure my gang are as safe as possible so at this time of year if l was going away they’d be in small fields with hay thrown in rather than moved around and l’d deal with poo picking when l got back. My vets are fab and would always come if a sitter phoned them and explained they were worried about something and yes l’d pay them, l‘d also pay whichever friend came along in kind ie swap or bottle etc. Things have changed so much over the last 10/20 years and many people have a very different mind set. I’d always do a friend/neighbour a favour and not expect to be paid as l know they’d usually return the favour if required but it wouldn’t go down well if this was a frequent demand rather than a one off. Hope you can work something out if only to say yes you’ll help but unfortunately you’ll also be away for half of the time.
 
Ah I've just re-read and realised that your neighbour is not the person who took advantage of you before. In that case I would say yes to being emergency backup, but ask that the house sitter mucks out, moves ponies and puts out hay. Then you could keep an eye on him from a distance to make sure he seems competent and safe, and only step in to help if he needs it. Do they all really, REALLY have to come in at night? Or could they be left out?

I still wouldn't be rounding up ponies and lugging water around, not for seven of them. Whoever does that needs to be paid for it, and you've already said you've got a tiny puppy and your own horses (and life) to do.
 
I think my number will be handed over whatever.
I have sent her a reply to her message saying I am unhappy and wary as I have been caught before when inexperienced house sitter couldn't do what a vet required ( ie poultice twice a day )
I have said she really needs to be sure this person can cope and knows what they are taking on even do a run through of routine with them.
I said I would be unhappy leaving my 3 horses with a very inexperienced sitter as accidents happen and elderly horses can be fine one day and gone the next.
Plus she needs to clear with the vets that house sitter can call the vets and she will pick up the costs.
I have to leave permission for my sitter to act on my behalf with my vets for both dogs and horses when I am away.
I have not had a reply ( odd as she usually is straight in it.)
I will wait and see if she does decide to use this sitter or not .
Thanks all
 
horselib said:
I think my number will be handed over whatever.
I have sent her a reply to her message saying I am unhappy and wary as I have been caught before when inexperienced house sitter couldn't do what a vet required ( ie poultice twice a day )
I have said she really needs to be sure this person can cope and knows what they are taking on even do a run through of routine with them.
I said I would be unhappy leaving my 3 horses with a very inexperienced sitter as accidents happen and elderly horses can be fine one day and gone the next.
Plus she needs to clear with the vets that house sitter can call the vets and she will pick up the costs.
I have to leave permission for my sitter to act on my behalf with my vets for both dogs and horses when I am away.
I have not had a reply ( odd as she usually is straight in it.)
I will wait and see if she does decide to use this sitter or not .
Thanks all
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That sounds pragmatic.

My worry when I read your post was that an inexperienced sitter won't be able to cope and you'll be roped in from day 2. I appreciate what TPO is saying but having been taken advantage of before I'm another who is a bit cautious these days. I never mind helping but I do mind suddenly finding I've got sole charge of a horse because plan A has fallen through and I can't neglect the poor mare.
 
SEL said:
My worry when I read your post was that an inexperienced sitter won't be able to cope and you'll be roped in from day 2. I appreciate what TPO is saying but having been taken advantage of before I'm another who is a bit cautious these days. I never mind helping but I do mind suddenly finding I've got sole charge of a horse because plan A has fallen through and I can't neglect the poor mare.
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Agreed I worry that the sitter is unaware of how much work there is and also when someone says they have limited experience with horses what that actually means .Is it like actors who always say they can ride on a CV when they have sat on a horse!!!!
I would never leave a pony suffering but worry I'll get roped in from day 1 when the amount of work becomes obvious and if a pony requires daily veterinary care which we all know as experienced horse carers a gentle pony suddenly become difficult when you are trying to give tablets put in drops or poultice a hoof and it becomes like wrestling an alligator!
I'll wait and see what she replies as it happens I am away for a week in October so we will see if it clashes with what she wants .
I would be insured as I have BHS gold cover.
 
Just be honest with her,tell her it's too much for you to take on,cite your mental health. I'd also Google horse freelance grooms and see if anyone in the area is available you can then pass on the details to her.
 
TPO said:
I'd help 🤷🏼‍♀️

From what has been written, the neighbour is not asking OP to actually do anything other than be back up in an emergency for the sitter? That isn't time consuming?

Simple enough to say that you won't be able to help on a practical level because of other commitments but happy to be a back up to call if sitter can't reach the owner.

Not a bad idea to suggest that a letter is written giving authority to sitter/OP/vet to make a decision (treatment as well as PTS) in case of an emergency when owner isn't contactable.

Seems a bit mean spirited not to offer owner some reassurance as a back up. For whatever reasons they haven't been able to form a safety network and we've no idea why they have to go away. It could be something very serious. I'm assuming the herd is all well looked after or OP would have involved a welfare association.

I honestly can't believe how selfish some of the replies have been.
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this. I would and have done many times. Precautions need to be in place with phone no's. vet in the link, who can do what etc.

I wouldn't do the feeding, watering etc but my expertise, which will be the same as your own expertise, is that I have the experience to know when I am looking at a crisis or simply a minor problem. Elderly horses are often a lot easier than young ones as they usually just eat and sleep, don't cause damage etc etc
If you look over the fence whilst walking your dog and see a horse with colic are you going to ignore it? You would have to do something,, presumably.

horselib said:
It's very much a one way street she runs to me for help and I don't think I have ever needed her help she is elderly and not that robust .I have a very experienced person who lives in if I am away plus a network of horsey and farmer friends who would help meout if needed.
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I agree elderly and not robust is not going to be of much use. So if she can't give anything back not much point. OTOH if you have no close neighbours and you fall ill in the field she may be the one who sees you and could summon your network of help. Even the elderly can do something. :D

I live out in the countryside and feel that you can never have too many friends/acquaintances to call on even if they know little about horses.
 
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I would be clear that the responsibility for all work is with the sitter, but I would agree to pop over and advise if there was a problem and the sitter needed advice/information.

I would need her phone number to contact her.

I would be clear I would be available as an advisor only, not to do the practical work. I would, however, accept that I may end up putting a poultice on twice a day. It would be the sitter who would actually contact the vet and engage their services though.
 
I'd do it as an advisory, go-to sort of capacity.

I've was due to go away for a family event & a freelancer let me down last minute. OH offered & can cope with turning out & bringing in, mucking out etc but probably wouldn't know much in an emergency (obviously I prepped him with vet numbers etc and ran through various scenario's) so asked two sensible friends at the yard if they'd keep an eye out for pony & OH just in case - we all have busy lives so didn't want to burden them with asking to look after him.

Both got a bottle of wine and much thanks even though they didn't need to do anything, it was a relief knowing they were there in case. If they'd have needed to do more, I'd have paid them.

Perhaps I shouldn't have gone or arranged back up for the back up, but sometimes best laid plans and all.
 
Hmm, I'm been called in as plan C when a neighbour went on holiday abroad leaving a non competent person in so called charge of the neds.

Long story short, another neighbour (who was plan B), the vet and I ended up very slowly walking a large Shire x mare back to my then small stables where she remained for 9 weeks in cross ties with a fractured wing of ilium. There was not a suitable stable where she was kept. My own horse, who would normally be in at night, was booted out.

Vet told me to never get close enough to the injured mare in the stable because if her pelvis gave way she could crush me as she dropped 😳. Tricky, when her water bucket was clipped tp the wall on one side of her and her hay net on the other.

So whilst I could never leave a horse to suffer, stepping in to help someone who hasn't arranged sufficient cover can be a very major undertaking. Being available to advise is one thing, but by default being expected to step in is another. I have paid freelancers to be on stand by for my own horses, just in case.

The mare did go on to recover.
 
Tiddlypom said:
Hmm, I'm been called in as plan C when a neighbour went on holiday abroad leaving a non competent person in so called charge of the neds.

Long story short, another neighbour (who was plan B), the vet and I ended up very slowly walking a large Shire x mare back to my then small stables where she remained for 9 weeks in cross ties with a fractured wing of ilium. There was not a suitable stable where she was kept. My own horse, who would normally be in at night, was booted out.

Vet told me to never get close enough to the injured mare in the stable because if her pelvis gave way she could crush me as she dropped 😳. Tricky, when her water bucket was clipped tp the wall on one side of her and her hay net on the other.

So whilst I could never leave a horse to suffer, stepping in to help someone who hasn't arranged sufficient cover can be a very major undertaking. Being available to advise is one thing, but by default being expected to step in is another. I have paid freelancers to be on stand by for my own horses, just in case.

The mare did go on to recover.
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You were an amazing friend in that situation. I'm afraid I would have directed sitter to arrange to transport horse to the vet hospital or rehab yard until the owner returned. I would have helped to arrange that.

That would likely have needed doing even if the owner were there though, if there was no suitable stable.
 
Red-1 said:
You were an amazing friend in that situation. I'm afraid I would have directed sitter to arrange to transport horse to the vet hospital or rehab yard until the owner returned. I would have helped to arrange that.

That would likely have needed doing even if the owner were there though, if there was no suitable stable.
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The vet didn't think that the injury would stand up to her being transported 😬. The three of us very slowly walked her to mine, the vet supervising us and on stand by to PTS her on the road if her pelvis gave way en route.

The owner had left no emergency vet contact details at all with the sitter, but he was one of the vets she used. We muddled through as best we could.
 
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