What would you have done (long)

[Ottinmeg]

I employed someone to start schooling my horse for me a couple of months ago.Rates agreed etc and all was well until a couple of days ago.I got a text to say that her 4 yr old child was missing her so she was bringing him along while she rode the horse.I was not happy with this for a few reasons..

She cannot give horse 100% concentration if she is constantly wondering where her child is.
She cannot spend time with the child while she is riding a horse.
She cannot supervise child while she is riding a horse.
Didn't even ask if i minded her bringing the child,just text and told me that was what she was doing and really couldn't see the problem.

I have young children of a similar age and avoid taking them to the yard at all costs as it is a dangerous place and above all not a playground!
My mare in particular is not one you would want free range children running around anyway.
It ended up with a major bust up and the woman still can't see what the problem is and apparently i have a bad attitude

the fact that she was being highly unprofessional (in my eyes anyway ) has nothing to do with it. She actually had the cheek to say that she wasn't going to side line her child to spend 2 hours each time at my yard for a measly fiver. She never spent 2 hours with my horse anyway, schooled her for 30 minutes each time . I think max time with the horse was 45 mins all in.The rest of the time was spent gassing to people on the yard and i wasn't holding a gun to her head making her do that! She also set her rates,i was happy to pay whatever.
At the end of the day you either want to work or stay at home with the kids.You can't have it both ways especially where horses are concerned.
OR have i majorly over reacted ??

 

[IWTO]

Im inclined to think an overreaction myself.

If she is only riding your horse for 30 mins then her child could of been asleep in car, or reading a book or anything.. it doesnt mean he was running around the yard causing havoc.

I also think as it was a one off its not a big issue, i also find it odd that you would expect her to ask you to bring her own child? Surely asking if the child could mess with your horse then yes, but asking if she can bring her child?!

I wouldnt of asked you either

 

[Battyoldbint]

no your right, id have charged her for babysitting

 

[Ottinmeg]

really ? so if you were paying someone to school your horse you would be quite happy to babysit the child while they did it ? not having a go but the way i see it is if im paying for someone to school my horse then i expect 100% attention to the job in hand.It wasn't a one off either, it was going to be a regular thing and yes i do expect to be asked as i am employing her to do a job.baby sitting was never mentioned!

 

[IWTO]

[ QUOTE ]
really ? so if you were paying someone to school your horse you would be quite happy to babysit the child while they did it ? not having a go but the way i see it is if im paying for someone to school my horse then i expect 100% attention to the job in hand.If i rang my boss and told them i was bringing my kid to work as it missed me i'd be out of a job!

[/ QUOTE ]

Im confused, i never saw anywhere in your post where you stated you babysat the child for her?

I also cannot see why she couldnt give your horse 100%- 30 mins is not a long time to give its not like she has hacked it out for an hour. The difference being is that im assuming this is not her full time job, but some spare money on the side?

 

[Louby]

Id rather her not bring the child but if there was no one else to ask to school your horse then I would have looked after her child and paid her. If shes only asking £5 then its worth it.
I hope you get it sorted.

 

[Ottinmeg]

sorry just changed my last post.yes she expected me to chase after child if he wandered into main yard etc. We have big unpredictable horses on our yard and the time she was coming was when they were all coming in.Agreed 30 mins is not long but if you had a child running loose around a yard would you not wonder what they were up to

 

[Ottinmeg]

Louby i have 5 kids of my own to look after, i need a break sometimes!!

I could understand if it was a one off or she couldnt get a sitter etc but the reason was that he missed her.How does she solve that by bringing him to work ? not like she can spend quality time with him while she is sat on a horse is it.

 

[IWTO]

[ QUOTE ]
sorry just changed my last post.yes she expected me to chase after child if he wandered into main yard etc.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well thats different then, no i dont think you overreacted.

 

[WishfulThinker]

I have to agree I wouldnt be that happy if it wasnt mentioned originally, mainly for a liability area. What if the child gets hurt? As many folk have stated on here many times when complaining about young children on yards - they are not playgrounds. And yes, whilst the woman is giving the horse 100% attention she would not be able to pay that much attention to the child. If she is riding child IS unsupervised unless someone else is there watching the child whilst she rides.

Unless, the child is very well behaved and can sit quietly whilst she rides, so as not to disrupt her and anyone else who is riding, as if I was riding my horse and there was a child running about and possibly getting in the way I would be a tad annoyed.

 

[Ranyhyn]

I think if someone is paid to do a job, however menial,a certain level of professionalism is required - and if your employer doesn't want you bringing your offspring to work, thats just tough cheese.

 

[RLF]

If she brings her child then expects you to look after it while she's schooling then no I don't think its fair, but to be honest £5 isn't a lot of money and probably only just covers her petrol (unless she has to come to the yard anyway). I know you said that was her price but it does seem very low for professional services. But on the other side of the coin you wouldn't turn up for work with a child in tow and expect your boss to look after it so you could 'work'.

 

[Ottinmeg]

She is just starting out with the schooling/teaching etc.She is training for her stage 4.Her price was a fiver for half hour as she was finding her feet and with the current climate etc didn't want to over charge.I paid her a tenner for 30 minute lessons.I would have happily paid her more as she rode the horse very well and i was happy with the way she taught. The attitude needs work though!

 

[Louby]

Its a difficult one really and I do see where you are coming from.
You are right. She shouldnt bring the child and she shouldnt expect you to look after it either but if you really need her and theres no one else to ask then you may have to put up with it. I dont think you over reacted though.
I used to be on a yard where one person brought there young child, palmed it off on me, got her jobs done and off home she went. Used to drive me mad as said child used to want to hold my hand all the time and she'd go home and I'd have done nothing.

 

[Ottinmeg]

I think it is safe to say i am definately off her christmas card list! She does tend to get straight on the defensive over everything, trivial or otherwise and lets just say after some of the things she accused me of i was none to polite!

right i have been called to work so will check back in later....looks around for child to drag along....

 

[Cliqmo]

If you're paying someone for a service you expect them to give it 100%. I wouldn't expect them to bring along their kids/partners/pets because you are paying for their time. I think it is quite reasonable for you to have reacted in this way.

 

[Louby]

Well if she carrys on like she is doing she isnt going to get much business. I just thought for a fiver, it was worth putting up with the child for 30 mins. Didnt realise she was trying to start up a little 'business'. Maybe you should charge her for the babysitting

 

[Tinypony]

She's being unprofessional. The lady who trims my horses had a baby last year and asked if us customers would mind looking after him just for a couple of trims until he was ready to be left with someone else. That was fine, because she asked, it was temporary and she is very good at what she does.
This is completely different, and she can expect to lose a lot of customers in the future if she carries on like this. If anyone did this to me I'd be waiting for them at the gate to tell them to sling their hook.

 

[lilylotus]

I agree and don't think you over reacted at all. If it is a one off fair enough but to say the child was missing her?? That's just daft. If we all did that the schools would be empty and the children attached to apron strings. Bloody ridiculous. You paid for a service and you weren't getting it. Therefore, look for a new rider.

 

[joeanne]

No i think you are totally right. If the child misses her so much she needs to re-evaluate her priorities, because you "minding" her child whilst she schools your horse isn't going to help her spend enough time with said child.
That said i think it was probably just an excuse, maybe her usual childcare let her down?
Either way she can't provide a reliable service if she is having to rely on customers as childminders!

 

[Slinkyunicorn]

I don't think you over reacted. If she is trying to build up a business she should approach her customers etc in a more professional manner and should have her child care sorted out, if her child misses her that much maybe she should put her 'business' on hold until the child is in school. Why should you or anyone else on your yard have to worry about where her child is or entertain it? and pay her??!

 

[Pearlsasinger]

[ QUOTE ]


If she is only riding your horse for 30 mins then her child could of been asleep in car, or reading a book or anything.. it doesnt mean he was running around the yard causing havoc.



[/ QUOTE ]

4yr olds are incapable of entertaining themselves for 30 minutes. Most of them can only 'read' picture books and are unlikely to sleep for 30 minutes in the middle of the day in an unfamiliar environment. Most healthy 4yr olds are inquisitive and curious about the world around them (a good thing in the right circumstances) and require adult interaction and supervision to keep them safe. 4yr olds left to their own devices in a car might well let off the handbrake/turn on all the lights/lock the doors with keys left in/etc, etc.
I am amazed that the mother was even contemplating taking her child to the yard whilst she rode and not all surprised that the OP was unimpressed.

 

[Ottinmeg]

well the personal insult texts started at 9pm...so mature. She basically said she tries to divide her time equally between horses and children unlike me. then went on about the fee being petrol money etc etc,when before, my horse was the best thing since sliced bread and how she loved riding her. She used to tell me off because i call the mare Baggage & old dinosaur etc . anyway i just replied saying well yes, pay peanuts ,get monkeys.

in reply to a couple of posts, i wholeheartly agree that if the kid is missing her so badly then she needs to re evaluate etc ,that was what i was trying to explain to her but she just can't see the problem.Oh well i won't be losing any sleep over it ,thats for sure!

 

[AmyMay]

[ QUOTE ]
She is just starting out with the schooling/teaching etc

[/ QUOTE ]

I guess she'll do well then, with an attitude like hers

I don't think you have overreacted at all. It seems you really do get what you pay for in life.......

 

[Grey_Eventer]

my instructor occasionaly brings her children with her- in holidays, but theyre 7 and 9, so understand they have to be good- but she deso bring books for them etc. so theyre not in the way, she sometimes has to when excercising horse but she mainly rides at one yard where everyone is happy with them being there as they are very good- never in the way.
i think your instructor should have asked and if your horse isnt safe with younger children than i would ahve said no tbh, but if the horse is fine then why not...

 

[LankyDoodle]

Sorry but I wouldn't take my horse to the office, so if I was paying someone to school my horse then I would not expect them to bring their child, regardless of how well-occupied the child was while she got on with the horse.

She is lacking professionalism (and any awareness of safety!).

 

[Ottinmeg]

[ QUOTE ]
i think your instructor should have asked and if your horse isnt safe with younger children than i would ahve said no tbh, but if the horse is fine then why not...

[/ QUOTE ]

Well apart from the fact she can't supervise the kid and i won't while she is riding it also has a lot to do with the fact that my horse is not the only one on the yard, we have an 18hh 6 yr old Tb on the yard who regularly buggers off when being led in and a 16.2hh cob who has his moments.They are coming in at the same time as the horse is being schooled.
In your instructors case, i wouldn't have a problem as the kids are older and probably have enough sense not to walk behind a horse plus she has a valid reason which my instructor quite frankly didn't.

 

[TequilaMist]

In 30 sec,never mind 30 mins a 4 yr old can get into a lot of trouble at a yard so don't think you over reacted at all.TBH would she keep mind on schooling horse if child wandering about.
God I get annoyed when other liveries leave their little ones running around yard never mind someone I was paying.I find it hard to focus on my riding cos worry about avoiding kids