What would you suggest? Moving dilemma

Moggy in Manolos

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Hello all :)

As your always brilliant for advice I really would love your opinions on my dilemma!
Well our house purchase should be completing tomorrow or Tuesday, so a new and serious responsibility. At work we are all having to apply for our own jobs again, Higher education cuts and all that. I would really be shocked if they did me out of a job and I will apply for the severance money just in case as its an incredible package unlike the redundancy money.
There is a small chance of getting a better paid job in this new shake up, which would solve my problem right away.

I moved to my current yard in February this year to save money (has not happened to much of a degree-some may remember twice having whopping vets bills due to other horses breaking into other pasture and taking my mare with them-cue laminitis panic), it has been quite up and down.
Its me and one other lady there. When we get on its fine, but things have blown up quite a few times and I find it very hard to deal with. At the moment things have settled down again, but I feel its a matter of time as its seems to happen every 3-4weeks.

This yard has stable & grazing, its pretty basic but lovely, the electrics are actually being put in within the next couple of months. Have to get my own hay and such like in. Managing the grazing is tricky as the land owners panics at the sight of a bit of mud and insists that we move the horses onto the long grass!
Now with Serens foot I find the best management is to keep her on the same paddock with hay all the time, it seems to work, and vet has said this is the best and only way to manage her.

After the last blow up between me and this lady (last week) I asked to move back to my old yard, it is only the cost that makes me think twice. It will be another £60pcm which I can do but it will be tight.

I feel really stuck between a rock and a hard place. If money were not an issue I would go no questions, but with the house purchase, the job and increase in out goings I am worrying, but I am not sure I can take any more of these blow ups with me and her, it seriously stresses me out.

Now I can do it, but just means I have very little spare each month.

What would you do?
I need to decide today really. I was happily moving back but then yesterday, said lady at my yard now said we can work around managing seren on the land, but I think with the proposed idea the land could get really trashed anyway, which is what the owner stresses about.

God, I dont know what to do, what would you do? Please help :confused::confused:

*Cookies and hot choccy* if you got this far
 

joeanne

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Ask for the changes in writing. If you cant get them, then minds can be changed at a moments notice.
If thats not going to happen then move. I know its another £60 but if you go grey overnight with the stress, lots of hairdye in the long run is going to be twice as costly!
 

Moggy in Manolos

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South Glos
Ask for the changes in writing. If you cant get them, then minds can be changed at a moments notice.
If thats not going to happen then move. I know its another £60 but if you go grey overnight with the stress, lots of hair dye in the long run is going to be twice as costly!
Thanks, Lol, yeah I am battling grey as it is and am only 29, as I am dark and its more noticeable. This is the thing, she can totally stress me out and I just feel I cant take it any more, shame as we can get along just fine in between but i don't think its worth the stress, argh...
 

Slinkyunicorn

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Should be working.....
I would move - would personally rather find the extra 60 quid than always worrying about another argument or YO flapping about mud. My cob is has lami so I know how important/difficult it is to manage them which is stressful in itself without others adding to it.
 

Moggy in Manolos

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South Glos
I would move - would personally rather find the extra 60 quid than always worrying about another argument or YO flapping about mud. My cob is has lami so I know how important/difficult it is to manage them which is stressful in itself without others adding to it.
Thanks hun this is what I think. my old yard do individual paddocks so this solves everything. Plus its a big yard and YO lives on site and is there to help if needs be, they have lots of facilities by comparison. You can just become anonymous if you know what I mean, by nodding and smiling and not getting too involved with others if you so wish, where as now, its just me and her on top of one another.

Thanks all, there is no written contract where I am now, getting something in writing to say we could manage my mare on the land with her lammi I just don't think possible. It has left my head spinning since yesterday but my gut feeling is to move as I think it will just be a matter of time before things blow up and stress me out. Think it best to leave on a high note with this lady as I have no hard feelings as such, it just boils down to managing Seren and ultimately it has inadvertently partly caused these blow ups...
 

MochaDun

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I would say move too if you can. £60 pcm is about £15 per week so somehow doesn't sound that bad when you break it down like that! It's maybe worth the extra little bit of financial pressure if it means you are happier in yourself and the grazing managment for your mare is easier. In my experience, leopards don't change their spots so I expect you would have ongoing run-ins with the other person and if it really gets you down it's not worth it. As it's just you and her it feels more of a big deal when you do have words. On a bigger yard there's always other people and like you say you can lose yourself if you want to or just be around those you wish to whose company you enjoy.

With your house purchase etc do shop around on house & contents insurance and things like that as that can help save some money and maybe for utilities too like gas & electric. And there's lots of clever ways of saving money with food shopping, etc. That might all help towards finding the extra £60 per month.
 

touchstone

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26 April 2007
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4,873
I'm afraid I'd move too, keeping your horse laminitis free has to come before a pristine paddock.

The only alternative thoughts might be would they consider a sacrifice area that you could fence off and put woodchips or stones down or something to keep it relatively mud free; we did this with a turnout area in front of the stables that meant we could bring in off grass with no problems and muzzle if you wanted to turn out, it worked very well.
If the blow ups with the other livery are all due to the grazing situation then I think you all need to sit down together, owners included and discuss exactly what you need and what the consequences will be (ie mud!) and see what they come up with or think. If they aren't happy to compromise then I do think that you need to move as it will just cause bad feeling. I'd politely and nicely make it clear that you aren't able to graze your horse as they want and will leave if that isn't an option, they might just be more compromising then.
 

Moggy in Manolos

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South Glos
I would say move too if you can. £60 pcm is about £15 per week so somehow doesn't sound that bad when you break it down like that! It's maybe worth the extra little bit of financial pressure if it means you are happier in yourself and the grazing managment for your mare is easier. In my experience, leopards don't change their spots so I expect you would have ongoing run-ins with the other person and if it really gets you down it's not worth it. As it's just you and her it feels more of a big deal when you do have words. On a bigger yard there's always other people and like you say you can lose yourself if you want to or just be around those you wish to whose company you enjoy.

With your house purchase etc do shop around on house & contents insurance and things like that as that can help save some money and maybe for utilities too like gas & electric. And there's lots of clever ways of saving money with food shopping, etc. That might all help towards finding the extra £60 per month.
Thanks, some great advice here, its made me feel better too. We are looking to get cavity wall insulation and more loft insulation, so that should save some money too. I will look around at bills and utilities to see if I can make any more savings. Your right though, for Seren (and my sanity at times) it will be for the best
 

Moggy in Manolos

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Joined
8 March 2006
Messages
12,705
Location
South Glos
I'm afraid I'd move too, keeping your horse laminitis free has to come before a pristine paddock.

The only alternative thoughts might be would they consider a sacrifice area that you could fence off and put woodchips or stones down or something to keep it relatively mud free; we did this with a turnout area in front of the stables that meant we could bring in off grass with no problems and muzzle if you wanted to turn out, it worked very well.
If the blow ups with the other livery are all due to the grazing situation then I think you all need to sit down together, owners included and discuss exactly what you need and what the consequences will be (ie mud!) and see what they come up with or think. If they aren't happy to compromise then I do think that you need to move as it will just cause bad feeling. I'd politely and nicely make it clear that you aren't able to graze your horse as they want and will leave if that isn't an option, they might just be more compromising then.
Thanks for your advice, much appreciated. The woodchips sounds like a good idea, not sure how the land owner would be about it, he just panics at the mud, but we all know with horses there is mud.
All though the blow ups can be to do with the land it is not just the land and management that causes them, if it was simpler I would consider staying but its a few reasons, I think we just clash and I have never been in such a tense situation with someone up a yard before, I do not like confrontation but will not be walked over so we have clashed :(
Everything is fine after the last blow up but I don't like them and find them tough and stressful, and like you say as its just me and her its harder to get space.

Thanks again to you all :)
 
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