When did you know it was time to call it a day ?

[Eira]

As title .


When did you know that is was 100% the right thing to call it a day ?

Was it when you'd exhausted every avenue of possible treatment or before then ?


Thankyou

 

[ForeverBroke_]

Can't offer any advice etc, but hope all is okay

xx

 

[Nailed]

When i went up the yard, A week ago today.

I took on look at him, the pain in his eyes, the agony from the lympahngitis and I called the vet.

Rest in peace Mister Man.

Lou x

 

[joeanne]

The day i looked at him and realised the other horses were shunning him, he no longer enjoyed his food, and looked fed up with life........in short i left it too long.

Someone here said better a week to early than a day to late, and experience has taught me that the hard way.

 

[AmyMay]

[ QUOTE ]
As title .


When did you know that is was 100% the right thing to call it a day ?

Was it when you'd exhausted every avenue of possible treatment or before then ?


Thankyou

[/ QUOTE ]

Did you ride yesterday???

 

[scotsmare]

Ish - what's up hun?? Has something happened??

 

[Rachellouise1]

I knew that I had done everything possible. We didn't have to make the ultimate decision but she now lives in a field and is so very happy so when the time does come, she has had time to be a bit free for a while. We owe it to our faithful friends to do the right thing at the right time.
You know the answer within you because you know your horse, xxx

 

[tikino]

it is difficulty to say realy as every case is different. however in my case was when i knew the horse was not going to get any better and was in pain and generaly not a happy lad. as already stated better a day early than a day late.

loads of hugs for you xxxx

 

[Eira]

[ QUOTE ]
Ish - what's up hun?? Has something happened??

[/ QUOTE ]

I just give up , I can't do this any more as soon as I think I've got on top of things I haven't another problem pops up .

She saw the Chiro today and I let her see the workup etc and she said that in her prof. opinion that she can see why Vet wants her worked but she shouldn't be ridden . There are two many issues (that have been caused by extra strain on her back because of her legs probs) with her pelvis , she was ridiculously tight and uncomfy throughout her back which means she will be incapable of builidng muscle and strength in her hind quarters which in turn means that she will alway be intermitentally lame and susceptible to injury because of that weakness . That tied in with her other problems means its just a waiting game for the insurance to give us permission to PTS .. I think

I need to chat to A about it and I need to get my head straight . She's happy being retired (and thats going to have to be fine with me) but as people keeps saying I'm just prolonging the pain for me and her only because I'm not strong enough to give up .

 

[Bossanova]

It's very tricky. I would go for field retirement whilst she's comfy and consider PTS coming into winter if she's not field sound or if you can afford to carry on keeping her with the bute etc

 

[Eira]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
As title .


When did you know that is was 100% the right thing to call it a day ?

Was it when you'd exhausted every avenue of possible treatment or before then ?


Thankyou

[/ QUOTE ]

Did you ride yesterday???

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes I did

And I thought I was getting on top of things , she was spot on (after a little performance

) but then talking things through this AM it just proves the only reason she behaves is because she trusts me and doesn't want to hurt me

 

[Fizzimyst]

QR

If she is happy retired and not in pain, why are people saying you are prolonging it?

You know your horse hun, and you know if she is happy or suffering.

xx

 

[Eira]

[ QUOTE ]
It's very tricky. I would go for field retirement whilst she's comfy and consider PTS coming into winter if she's not field sound or if you can afford to carry on keeping her with the bute etc

[/ QUOTE ]

This is the thing , she could technically go on for years sat in a field . She's not on any bute/danolin now just the course of Adequan . She's going to just have to sit in the field for now as the insurance now as well as I do that her quality of life isn't any more compromised than it was 6 months ago .

I so desperately want there to be an obvious route to this ? I woke up this morning ready to crack on and its all fallen apart again and she's given me the answer that i've always expected but not really wanted to hear after I was given a bit of hope .

Horses .. who'd have them

 

[Lyndz]

There was just a look in him that said he was tired, not off feed, just tired. As he had been badly mis-treated before i had him, i always said that i would call it a day, before he started to suffer again! As difficult a decision as it is to make, they will no longer be in any kind of pain! That's what got us through! Though he was at least 30 when he went, at least his final 5 years with us were probably the best he remembered! Wishes and hugs! RIP Little Man

 

[AmyMay]

[ QUOTE ]
it just proves the only reason she behaves is because she trusts me and doesn't want to hurt me

[/ QUOTE ]
I don't agree. It would be useful for A and AM to get together - or at least talk on the phone.

However, if she felt fine to ride - then carry on.

 

[LankyDoodle]

No, we had another avenue we could explore, but there was only a 20% chance of it working, and long term she would have fallen ill again anyway. She'd only ever have been grass sound most probably, and to get her to where she needed the treatment was a 2 hour journey - we couldn't even get her on the trailer, never mind the 2 hour journey. She'd have had up to 4 months in hospital and it would have cost thousands of pounds.

The day she was PTS we knew she had had enough. I don't care what anyone said to me then or says to me now, to the contrary, there was nothing making her look or feel like she was except the immense pain she was in. The bute was not masking anything and it certainly was not taking her pain away.

So we cried buckets, spent the day with her, swallowed our own feelings and had her PTS. The single hardest day of my life so far, but the day when I've made the best decision. I could never see an animal go through the pain she was suffering over a prolonged period. It was the right decision. I miss her every day, though, and this month it is a year since she got ill. I'm crying writing this post, so it's not easy, but owning animals never is.

 

[LankyDoodle]

Agree with AmyMay. I wouldn't give up if you're still at a stage where she is OK to ride. Only if she was in considerable pain.

 

[ldlp111]

could you not lunge to build up muscle, so there is no extra weight on her etc?

sorry to hear you are still struggling with things.

 

[Eira]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
it just proves the only reason she behaves is because she trusts me and doesn't want to hurt me

[/ QUOTE ]
I don't agree. It would be useful for A and AM to get together - or at least talk on the phone.

However, if she felt fine to ride - then carry on.

[/ QUOTE ]

If you look at it , since we discovered the problem .. 4 people have ridden her . (4 competent people I trust with my horse - well ok 3 + me !)

3 other riders have got on her and come straight back off because she has had an almighty pain response to something and done whatever it takes to have you back off her back and on the floor ( A witnessed it 3 months ago and said it was pain not naughtiness?)

Physio is sending A a letter stating what she's found and her opinion , she is also going to look back in her past notes (seen Sol since she's been backed 15 months ago) and state things are not improving

 

[Eira]

[ QUOTE ]
could you not lunge to build up muscle, so there is no extra weight on her etc?

sorry to hear you are still struggling with things.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes she is being lunged to be worked . She won't build muscle in that area ever . She isn't capable of working correctly to build up in that area due to all the problems - or that is how it was said today

 

[ldlp111]

oh right which area was it again her back??

 

[Skhosu]

I have to ay I'm not a big fan of physios tbh, unless it's a really really good one. What does your vet say?

 

[Eira]

I've left a message at the surgery for him - don't think he's in work today. He's seeing her again Wednesday but the last time I spoke to him (Thursday) I spoke to him about giving up this course of treatment and leaving her so he knows its in the back of my mind .

 

[ldlp111]

have you thought about alternative treatments bowen or mctimoney(sp) maybe i know trying new things is bit scary and youve probably already spent alot on your horse but it might be worth ago.

 

[Annagain]

I was very lucky in some ways, my old boy made the decision for me. He was semi retired due to arthritis - rode him round the block (30 mins) twice a week as he got really depressed when I tried to retire him, but got colic for the first time ever and by the time I found him in the morning it was too late to do anything but put him to sleep - horrible at the time but now I look back and it was the best way for him to go. He'd eaten all his hay so can't have been suffering for more than an hour or two and until that day was still bright and full of life aged 27. I always said though that when the time came I would rather do it a bit earlier for his sake (especially as he got so depressed just being in the field). I know too many people who said afterwards that they left it too long and regret it now. I know it's much easier said than done though.

I think you have to ask yourself whether she has got to the point where she is only going to get worse (in which case now is the time) or whether her current status quo (it sounds like the pain is mostly when ridden?) would be maintained if she's not ridden (in which case turning her out or finding a retirement home might be a better option)

I'm from your area as well and if A is who I think he is, ask him what he thinks is for the best (or what he would do if it was his horse). He's not averse to telling people when he thinks it's time - he's done that for a few friends who have been struggling with the decision and although it was their decision, it helped them make it and come to terms with it knowing that the vet backed them up.

 

[Eira]

A is probably who you think he is

She has a degenerative condition - so yes she is only going to get worse , no idea about time scale but she just appears to be falling apart piece by piece . I spoke to him 4 weeks ago about things and it was a case of 'if you can forgo the insurance and know its the right thing to do , you could PTS now . BUT she is still manageable and her quality of life isn't compromised (infact it is better than ever!). I just can't come to a decision , I don't want the responsibility (God what a cop out!)

The main problem is 'me' still . I can't come to terms with any of this , one day I'm on a massive high of her and things are going to be ok and then I have days like today with are inevitably a huge disappointment .

 

[ladyt25]

As AmyMay says really - if she feels happy in herself then carry on as you are. If she doesn't then go for the full retirement option and see how she fares. I do think you do 'know' when they've had enough, it's very difficult to explain because only you truly know your horse and you know if her peronality changes - they just lose 'something' it's something in their eyes (as i say very hard to explain unless you've had to do it before).

I think when you realise your horse has decided enough is enough then it makes the decision easier. Put it this way we had an elderly (and extremely miserable evil) little pony years ago who we struggled to keep weight on and we knew (after a previous endoscopy) he had grwoths in his larynx so his breathing was not fab. We assumed more growths were probably internal aswell. He was checked by the vet as an when he was about as we often queried whether we should call it a day.

We fully trusted our vet and he said (after listening to his heart etc and general vital signs) that providing he was still eating and wanted to eat, was his usual self etc then to just let him be. One day we went to feed as usual and it was like a light had switched off with him though, he didn't even want to try food and his breathing seemed more of an effort - that is when we knew enough was enough.

If yours is happy now then just go from that, enjoy doing what you're doing and try not to analyse things too much.

 

[Halfpass]

AW hon have just read throught this post and I really feel your pain

.

I went throught the exact same thing with Alee last year and even got to the point of phoning my vet and asking him come and and PTS.
He talked me out of it though!!!

We carried on with treatment and deap down I just knew that this was the end of the road for her. Some how I just knew that she wouldn't be around this summer.
As awful as this sounds I prayed for something to happen so that the decision was taken out of my hands - its such a toughie especially with a young horse that from the outside looks so well.

I had found her a placement to be an embryo transfer mare but again deep down knew she wouldn't get there.

I found her in the field 2 days before she was due to go with severed tendons and ligaments - I will never know how she did it and I hope and pray that she didn't suffer too much - but it made me have to make that decision for her.

I knew the minute I saw her that her time was up.

Up until this moment I was so undecided and even thought she was due to goto stud part of me still was considering haveing her PTS.

With my old chap I knew his time was up when the other horses started picking on him, he looked sad and alone and very fed up.

I promise, you will know when the time is right - you will see you beautiful horse one day and that decision will just be made.

Chin up hon, many of us on HHO know just how hard this can be, please don't forget where we all are when you need someone to chat to or cry to or rant to.

xx

 

[GTs]

It is really difficult - I would find a horse friend your trust and run it by them.

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[Taffster]

Ishy, its such a difficult time for you - and we can all offer some compassion. If Sol appears to bein pain when others ride her then i'm inclined to believe her. I understand the difficulty your having having been through something similar - i was praying for something to shout out that this is the correct thing to do, I was weak and buried my head in the sand. I will never know if the decision i made was the right one or the wrong one, I gave him away to stop myself having to make that decision and now everyday I regret what i did.
You know your horse and you will do the right thing, Sometimes its a relief to just air your feelings.
Big hugs to you and Sol x