When to amit your rubbish and you should just give up.

andytiger

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Hi just wanted to see what other people think, maybe have some good advice to get me movated or a good kick up the bum.
My problem is jumping I have had my horse for 4 years we have done BE80s etc and done quite well we had a fantastic time but I have always been a nervous jumper. With a previous horse I Have done BE 90s so I would say I’m not a complete numbly when it comes to jumping.
However in 2017 my horse developed some issues with his feet and we had trouble jumping stopping etc but we had a break to get his feet right And now I don’t seem to get it back.
By the way my problem isn’t with my horse it’s me.he’s amazing to put up with me bobbling around.
I get so nervous, (well would call it nervous I’m shit scared)I don’t enjoy it, but I feel I need to get back to we’re I was but no matter how I try I carnt.
I also do a lot of dressage that is our main aim and jumping is a way to add variety and he does enjoy it.
for example we went arena eventing we are not taking any great height we’re taking 70cm we jumped double clear, but I was scared the video is horrendous I’m not riding him forwards pulling him in the mouth and to top it off I nearly fell off but didn’t.!and even though I’d got double clear I came away feeling disappointed with myself .
I have lessons .but Also have dressage lessons which take priority and cannot always afford jumping lessons always try to do poles and small jumps on my own at home but it’s difficult with dark nights and work etc.
MY question is should I keep forcing my self to jump or just give up and just consontate on dressage by the way I should also add I am no spring chicken anymore ( the wrong side of 40 )
What do you guys think

,
 

Britestar

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Take the pressure off and give up jumping for now. Maybe join in with polework lessons (Maybe your local RC does them), and see if you enjoy them.

Nothing wrong with just concentrating on your dressage and having fun.
 

be positive

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Why would you do something you don't enjoy?

Absolutely, if you are enjoying dressage then stick with that there is no need to jump if you don't want to, very few horses will care if they never jump again, I have known a few that you know really benefit but most are fine doing flatwork and hacking, you just have to accept your own decision and not look back.
 

Goldenstar

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Don’t do it I can’t understand why you would.
I agree jumping is good for horses but you could get someone to give him a pop once a week .
To be good at jumping you have to jump .
If you have a confidence problem with jumping you need to leave the ground every day even if it’s to jump a cross pole .
It’s very hard to be good a jumping with out practice and lessons if you have having an issue .
It’s always hard with one horse most people need to jump much more than horses do to be proficient.
 

Red-1

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I have got like this about jumping before, after a break from jumping due to rider injury (had a year of no jumping). I kind of lost my 'eye' for it and then started to try to make it right by inappropriate corrections. I was also feeling quite defensive of my injury and aware that I was not as strong as I could be. The more I tried to MAKE it right, the worse it was. I can see why you are trying to micromanage if your confidence in the horse was interfered with after a few stops followed by a break.

I found the best cure was to go watch some kids jump a a local show, to realise that horses and ponies don't die an awful death if you make a mistake when riding sensibly forward and in a rhythm. It was a revelation to see happy smiling horses and riders, with not a clue as to what a 'stride' was anyway.

The accidents happen when the rider is being random, as in a lot of kicking and pulling. So, I got the poles out and kept at poles until my horse would keep balanced and in a rhythm even while I was safely tucked into a neckstrap. Then I did jumps the same, I set the rhythm and balance then tucked my hands away and looked at the treetops.

The horse was fine and we progressed to canter grids where once I was in the grid I knew that we would meet the larger fences at the back well. After jumping some bigger grids I was confident to return to a normal contact, confident that even if the stride was wrong that I would not try to do wild corrections.

Why did I want to go through all this when I was not enjoying jumping? Because I knew I DID enjoy jumping when it all goes well. I had just become defensive and my riding was making it awful. I needed help to re-build the confidence that if the canter was rhythmic and balanced then the horse could help me out as long as I was out of his way.


Of course, if you decide not to jump then that is fine too! No need to at all.
 

Asha

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I’ve been in your situation, so I totally understand how you feel. I just decided ‘sod it’. I’m going to do what I enjoy at a level I enjoy . Which is basically flat work / pole work hacking and farm rides . After doing this for a bit , I started to miss jumping . One day I popped over a fence and thought that wasn’t too bad . So now I’m having lessons jumping again and I’m loving it . I keep the jumps very low mind so there’s no pressure ( around 65cm) I’ve given up thinking I used to jump x y z , as quite frankly I don’t care . I come out of my lessons with a huge smile on my face . To me that’s what it’s about .

So take the pressure off yourself , go back to having fun x
 

oldie48

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After a very nasty fall in my early 50's XC schooling, I stopped jumping. From time to time I'd have another lttle pop but I was so tight and tense that I just decided to stop altogether and just hack and do dressage. I did get someone to give one of my horses the occasional jump as he was quite stuffy and tbh bored with schooling (he went off to another home eventually) but really I dont think my horses since have been bothered and I honestly don't miss it either. If you really don't enjoy it, don't do it but if it's that you have lost your confidence but deep down want to get it back so you can start jumping happily again, then that's a different matter. I think it's about having the right trainer and actually the right horse too but I think we can do anything (within reason) if we really want to and being in your 40's is certainly not a barrier
 

Shay

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There is no need to push yourself to do something you fear. Its one thing to be nervous at the start but once out there exhilarated. But if you are scared throughout - you don't have to. There are lots of great things you can do without jumping - or only popping the occasional one. What about Le Trec? Mounted horse agilty? (Unmounted if it comes to that.) Prix caprilli? There is no harm in saying no to something you don't like doing!
 

Bernster

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I’m finding this thread so useful! Some great advice above which I agree with. You need to work out if you want to jump and work at it, in which case it’s def achievable in my view with some of the advice given, or if it’s really not for you, in which case you never need to leave the ground again! Totally up to you.

For me, I am nervous but I still want to do it so I’m in the phase of staying small, doing it regularly, having lessons, and doing very similar to what red1 suggested (although I need to do it more!j. I do feel better but it’s still a work in progress and probably always will be. But I haven’t got the stage of not enjoying it overall, it’s just not my favourite phase (sj) but I love xc and want to do mini ODEs and stuff, so for now I’m gonna keep at it.
 

tallyho!

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Well.... IF you want to carry on, go back to the beginning and build up your confidence. I made the mistake of stopping jumping and then decided to stop being a wuss and jump where I was at... took a tumble. That was 2012. I started again last year (on a very backwards mare!) but I've gone back to basics. Poles, grids, cavaletti and adding little jumps. I feel so much better about it now - not that I'm going to go out and do BE100 or anything!!!! I just want to enjoy popping round a course feeling like an 8yo again.

Plus I have all those years of pure dressage to carry on as well! It's not all bad. TAke a break if you need to and when/if ready just have fun.

Fun is what it's all about for the most of us right?
 

windand rain

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A lot of dressage people do pole patterns to improve straightness etc if you dont enjoy jumping just use a few poles. I hated pony driving so avoid it if I can OH loves it so I may not be able to. I was never a fan of jumping but did now I dont ride at all but still love my ponies still show them so still have social contact with people Do what makes you happy as long as the horse is well cared for it wont care what it does
 

Cortez

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Who says you have to jump? I've never seen the point and have rarely done it in 50+ years (and I live in a country that does little else). None of my horses has ever jumped, there are so many other ways to enjoy riding.

Besides, jumping is a very recent innovation with horses, probably less than 200 years old as a result of enclosure and the advent of fox hunting as a sport. Before that the old masters only "leaped" if something got in their way, or as airs above the ground.
 

Pinkvboots

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Why not just give the jumping? I don't jump and I am not that old at 47 and I haven't jumped for years, it jarred my back a few times to the point I had to get off and struggled to walk, I really don't have the bottle for it anymore either especially after having a horse smash my ankle to bits last year, and I know I wouldn't enjoy it so I don't do it.
 

Meredith

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Keeping a horse is an expensive commitment. If it doesn’t give pleasure why do it?
There isn’t a rule that says “ on purchase of this horse you must immediately set your sights on competing at the Olympics”.
I began going to a riding school in the 1950’s. It was fun.
I have owned quite a few horses over the years. I have never jumped higher than 1m. I have rarely competed. I have had confidence wobbles as we all do now and then BUT
it is still fun.
In the future you may decide to be ‘more adventurous ‘ but for the moment take the pressure off and enjoy riding and being with your horse.
Best Wishes.
 

hobo

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Great advice on here, I am another non jumper even though my horse did event with my rent a daughter I am sure she does not miss it. I hack have flat work lessons and pole work mare is more than happy in fact she would be quite happy without the polework as for some reason she thinks they are going to eat her.
So just do what you enjoy.
 

fabbydo

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There is no law saying you have to jump. Your horse won't care either way.
If you do decide to keep jumping, group lessons with an excellent instructor may be the way to go. The 'team spirit' tends to encourage me to try things I wouldn't do on my own. Share the fear!
 

Chippers1

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You don't have to jump if you don't enjoy it. I have been in your shoes though! I've posted about it a few times. I've gone from so so nervous (had to withdraw from my first comp with my new horse half way through the round as I was too nervous to carry on!) But today I've jumped round an 80cm course, almost confidently.
For me it's practice, practice, practice. The more I do it the less nervous I become, I try and jump at least once a week (normally a comp or lesson/clinic) but in summer when our yard has the jumping fields open I do at least 2 jumping sessions, even if they're tiny.

I love jumping but I completely lost my confidence so it was just about rediscovering the love for it!
 

andytiger

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Thankyou for all you reply’s it’s nice to hear that people have been in the same boat
I just wish I could get back to we’re I was 😀😀
My plan of attack is to have a break for a while and get all the qualifications I want for BD which should give me a couple of months to to do some jumping the weather will be better and the jumps will be out in the field 😀😀
 

Goldenstar

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Good plan , when you start jumping just pop something every day then do two one after the other and just keep repeating choose the right trainer who can emphasise with the issue ( not all can ) .
 

humblepie

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Definitely not a case of admitting you are rubbish - it is admitting that you need to do something different and take a different approach. Some really good suggestions above and once you have your BD qualifications, if you want to get on jumping again you can have some jumping lessons. It is supposed to be fun and sounds like you can have fun doing BD rather than forcing yourself to jump just because that is what you have done. Enjoy!
 

oldjumper

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Hi just wanted to see what other people think, maybe have some good advice to get me movated or a good kick up the bum.
My problem is jumping I have had my horse for 4 years we have done BE80s etc and done quite well we had a fantastic time but I have always been a nervous jumper. With a previous horse I Have done BE 90s so I would say I’m not a complete numbly when it comes to jumping.
However in 2017 my horse developed some issues with his feet and we had trouble jumping stopping etc but we had a break to get his feet right And now I don’t seem to get it back.
By the way my problem isn’t with my horse it’s me.he’s amazing to put up with me bobbling around.
I get so nervous, (well would call it nervous I’m shit scared)I don’t enjoy it, but I feel I need to get back to we’re I was but no matter how I try I carnt.
I also do a lot of dressage that is our main aim and jumping is a way to add variety and he does enjoy it.
for example we went arena eventing we are not taking any great height we’re taking 70cm we jumped double clear, but I was scared the video is horrendous I’m not riding him forwards pulling him in the mouth and to top it off I nearly fell off but didn’t.!and even though I’d got double clear I came away feeling disappointed with myself .
I have lessons .but Also have dressage lessons which take priority and cannot always afford jumping lessons always try to do poles and small jumps on my own at home but it’s difficult with dark nights and work etc.
MY question is should I keep forcing my self to jump or just give up and just consontate on dressage by the way I should also add I am no spring chicken anymore ( the wrong side of 40 )
What do you guys think

,
Admit you're rubbish any time - but never give up!
 

JFTDWS

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Actually, thinking you're not rubbish is a far, far bigger problem :)

Agreed!

It's not about admitting it - it's about accepting it. Sure, you keep trying to improve, whatever, but you need to accept your limitations in order to safely progress towards challenging them.

Or, in other words, not killing yourself or your horse by attempting something significantly beyond your capabilities.
 

Ambers Echo

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I gave up jumping for a long time and it was a long slow road back. But I knew I would love it if I was not so damn terrified of it! The journey from 0-50cm was harder than the journey from 50-100 so don't worrry about the height. Just keep leaving the ground. Even now after I've been confident for a while I know I need to jump every week or nerves creep back. But only IF you want to. As many have said it is a choice and absolutely no need to do it unless you know you'd be glad you did and would love it once you were over the nerves.
 

SEL

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Due to having horses with leg problems I went for a very long time without jumping (also wrong side of 40). The yard I was I needed a rider for a BHS assessment for a x-c lesson so I was given a schoolmaster to ride. I can highly recommend borrowing a horse who is a saint if you're having a wobble and need a confidence boost!

A while after that I took a mare who was anything but a saint jumping - but I do need to be doing it regularly otherwise the nerves return.
 

humblepie

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I don't agree re the word rubbish though it is I suppose how you look at it. I have an awful lot of gaps in my knowledge and continue to strive to improve be that reading, thinking, working off the horse, having lessons, etc but I think to have the negative thought of being rubbish doesn't help with the confidence to either change tracks or decide the action plan. I was trying to be supportive!
 

Hallo2012

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i jumped to a pretty good level in my much younger years-1.25/1.30m and produced a variety of youngsters.

i rarely jump at all now and when i do its 40/50cm, mainly raised poles more than actual jumps.

after i stopped jumping competitively my dressage horses didn't really jump, so over the years ive lost my eye for any kind of stride, and dont have any desire to get back to that point.......but im enjoying producing my 2 current ponies and dont sweat it :)

i would go back to poles and raised poles and when you suddenly WANT to jump start really tiny, well under you comfort max...... who cares if you only ever jump 40cm? not your horse :) he just wants food, shelter and company.
 

paddi22

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I had a bad accident on a horse, and was a bit freaked jumping for a while after it. jhat helped was to go into tiny kids crosspoles classes. I would pick a course i could nearly walk over. i never pushed myself with heights, I waited till I was almost bored with the height I was jumping and then raised it up a hole. Gradually I got back and was fine.
 
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