When to call it a day

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misskk88

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I have made various posts about my mare in the past few months, and have had some great advice and support and need some again.. I will try to keep it brief this time!

I potentially will be facing the decision as to whether to keep my mare in light work as she currently is, or retire her for good. She is 19, and most the time is sound and full of life. However she has had some days of unsoundness, but always comes right again (with rest and bute as needed). Vets and physio can't find anything obvious, and think it may just be age and wear and tear. At her age, with a hefty vets bill for colic and the fact she will never do more than hack again anyway, investigations, which my insurance wouldn't cover, are out of the question.

At the very least, if she does retire, she will get as long as I can afford to allow her to retire, or as for as long as she is comfortable (whichever comes first). I know though that long term, I couldn't afford to do it forever due to the remaining vets bill and a new house (she is shared by someone at the moment, and I would take costs back on if she retired), but she will get a few months of absolute bliss regardless!

I feel guilty though which path I take. Am I doing the right thing by keeping her in light work, and thus more supple and then pain free? Or would it make it worse? If I retired her, is it selfish to consider finances, or would she go downhill from being stuck in a field and doing very little? If I chose to PTS when she seems relatively bright and healthy, does that make me a bad owner, or a good one for making sure it was a day too early, than too late?

My question is, at what point would you choose to retire, or why did you keep them in light work? If you chose to retire, would you give them a few weeks, months, years, or until it was clear you needed to make the decision to PTS, or would you PTS more or less straight away? Were finances an influence in your decision?

It will be a decision I am making in the next few weeks, but some advice would be lovely :)
 
I had a similar situation a few years ago and know its such a difficult decision to make. I decided after much deliberation and sleepless nights to have my girl PTS, I felt this was the kindest thing to do as she didn't like living out and the costs of keeping her in with bute and feed to keep her weight on I just couldn't afford to do it. I was also worried that if I tried to rehome her privately or through a Veteran charity that she would have ended up in the wrong hands or passed from home to home. I decided to have her cremated which wasn't the cheapest option but she now lives in my bedroom in a lovely box....I still chuckle to myself every morning when I get ready for work thinking how much I wanted my horses at home one day :)
 
It does not make you a bad owner. None of this makes you a bad owner, infact quite the opposite. The bravest thing a horse owner, or any animal owner, can do is put the animals needs before there own.

I agree with you, I'd rather it be a day to soon than a day to late. To keep in light work would she has to be on bute? I don't see any gain in that for either of you if I am honest. If she is in light work/hacking without any pain killers and is sound then do so by all means, if you want.

Finances would certainly influence my decision,as hard as it is to admit. I usually find horses that have been in work all there lifes who then end up going out in the field don't retire that well, and do deteriorate quite quickly, but not all horses are the same.

Make the decision that is right for YOU. It sounds like you have given this horse a wondeful life so far and that you will right till the end, you are a very good person. X
 
If you retire her she's going to need to be out 24/7, and if she is, then I don't see an issue with it. She'll be moving about constantly so won't get stiff. In your situation I'd probably retire her now.
 
You certainly aren't a bad owner, simply due to the fact you're having to make such difficult decisions and are desperate to do the right thing!

I retired my mare this spring as she was just coming up lame with work, I am giving her the summer off and will then probably pts as I don't want to go through a bad winter with her in discomfort, plus she has cushings which will only worsen. I will pts if she deteriorates in the meantime.

The best thing I feel is to play it by ear, if you both fancy a hack out and providing it doesn't make her worse then I don't think keeping her in work would be wrong, neither would turning her away be wrong.

Of course finances have to come into the equation, at the end of the day we all have to live and our families etc have to take priority if things are strained financially, it doesn't make you a bad owner to pts in those circumstances, a bad owner would be on who struggles on regardless, risking their horses welfare if they can't afford it.
 
Hi, its a tough one, unless you are lucky to have your own land it is really difficult when it comes to these choices. To be honest there is no right or wrong, its about what is good for you and for her. I made the decision to fully retire my horse last year, he was just not coping and I could not cope with riding him below par to extend his life. I was really lucky as I keep my on my parents land. I also lucked out in that my horse had eight months and then come sound so I am back to light work. I can cope with that, although I miss doing competitions, my local one lets me do the intro with him as they know his story and that he can not give me a canter lead on one rein due to his issues. However I can guess that you might want to do more then just light hacking, there is nothing wrong with that. It is also not wrong to consider your feeling and your fiances in the equation. If she can not give you want you want or need, if the sharer can not take her on full time and you want a new horse, give her the summer and then allow her to go loved and healthy. That way she has time to be retired and then you can also do the sport you love. You are not a bad owner for thinking this, a bad owner would duck there responsibility and you are not.
 
Thank you for the quick replies. I did just tear up a little at the fact you mentioned I am trying to do the best for her ljohnsonsj. I really am, but I guess you don't always realise that is what you are doing, when it is yourself going through it, if that makes sense?

I don't think that she would need to be on bute to be very lightly hacked still, as she seems to come sound and by the way she moves (she should have been a dressage horse!), there is absolutely nothing that makes me think she is uncomfortable. However I am aware that she is older, and as time goes by the likelihood of things recurring, or not healing so easily, increases greatly.

She lived out over winter on haylage, grass and a token feed and looked the best she ever had. She did very little over winter except the hacks, and she had no qualms about getting to mooch about all day and only coming in for groom! So I don't worry about her not adapting to retiring as such. I can be sure that when, not if, she retires, there is the right environment for her. Over the summer she could live out with company, and there is a spare box for the winter months when needed.

I would probably rather her PTS in the summer months. Is it just a silly humanisation, that it is far nicer for their last memories to be of sunshine, good grass, and the warmth on their backs?!

Wherever I can, and when the time comes, I will certainly give her every opportunity to have some retirement, even if this is only short. She has the summer to enjoy for now anyway, but I want to feel confident in my decisions. And right now I just feel a little lost with all my thoughts and options.
 
You have to make the decision that is right for you.
What I will say is that please keep in mind a horse does not know it has been PTS. Only the humans left behind do.
With that in mind and PTS the end result then the question becomes when?
This is something only you can answer. Do you face the emotional pain PTS causes sooner or later. If you decide later then are you the sort of person who can handle seeing a horse every day knowing the inevitable is around the corner then fine but please don't under estimate the emotional impact this waiting can have.
 
I agree with paddy, it's the owner who suffers not the horse, I have a horse who is going blind, she is still well & happy but seeing her everyday, knowing that every day brings the inevitable decision a little closer is difficult.
Looking at a much loved horse & thinking "you trust me & I'm planning on having you killed soon" is a very negative aspect of horse ownership.
Make whatever decision is best for you & your horse - take no notice of the yard experts who will decide that they know best!
 
misskk88 said:
Thank you for the quick replies. I did just tear up a little at the fact you mentioned I am trying to do the best for her ljohnsonsj. I really am, but I guess you don't always realise that is what you are doing, when it is yourself going through it, if that makes sense?

I don't think that she would need to be on bute to be very lightly hacked still, as she seems to come sound and by the way she moves (she should have been a dressage horse!), there is absolutely nothing that makes me think she is uncomfortable. However I am aware that she is older, and as time goes by the likelihood of things recurring, or not healing so easily, increases greatly.

She lived out over winter on haylage, grass and a token feed and looked the best she ever had. She did very little over winter except the hacks, and she had no qualms about getting to mooch about all day and only coming in for groom! So I don't worry about her not adapting to retiring as such. I can be sure that when, not if, she retires, there is the right environment for her. Over the summer she could live out with company, and there is a spare box for the winter months when needed.

I would probably rather her PTS in the summer months. Is it just a silly humanisation, that it is far nicer for their last memories to be of sunshine, good grass, and the warmth on their backs?!

Wherever I can, and when the time comes, I will certainly give her every opportunity to have some retirement, even if this is only short. She has the summer to enjoy for now anyway, but I want to feel confident in my decisions. And right now I just feel a little lost with all my thoughts and options.
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No you don't, You feel awful for considering any option other than seeing them eating grass, but that's not always the reality nor the right answer. I echo others, only you will know the right time and answer. You don't need to make it this week, or next week. Maybe give yourself a few weeks to think things other and let her have a slight taste of retirement, and re asess the situation then. Mainly *Hugs* I can't imagine how tough it must be to have all the questions and thoughts swimming around in your head x
 
Op, I could have written this post myself. I absolutely adore the horse I currently have and like yours he's had lameness issues which come and go. I use bute/danilon etc as required but keep him in light work for the following reasons.
1- so many people have told me its best for him, vets and physio's amongst them, that when I stop he will do down hill rapidly.
2- My daughter dislikes riding alone and I don't want her riding alone all the time, The whole point of us both having a horse is to avoid this.
3- I don't think I have the confidence or desire to take on a new unknown horse. Mine can be a silly old sod but I know him inside out.

However in reality. I don't think I have the grass to keep him as a pet, certainly not if I got another (which I don't want to but see point 2!!). I'm not sure he'd be totally happy doing nothing ever again. I do think this is probably my worry though as he's had long periods of time off and survived!
He's been lame now for about 4/5 weeks which is the longest most worrying period of lameness I've had in years with him. Rest and bute isn't helping, neither have two physio treatments and next is the vet who I already know cant do an awful lot more for him. I may try and inject his joints again as the one in question hasn't been done in years so might respond?
Its so tough and I feel for you x
 
Such a difficult situation to be in but only you can do what is right for you and your horse, Everyone makes different decisions based on their circumstances and only you know what is best. Last year i retired my old girl after intermittent lameness, Vet suggested i could have her fetlock joint injected to keep her lightly ridable but this would only be masking the problem and doing more damage. The alternative was retire to field or PTS. i was surprised at how many friends said they would of PTS and get another horse but for me she is the most special girl in the world. I was lucky to be in the financial position to keep her and get a new horse ( which was a major mission ! ) and now i have 2 amazing horses in my life, They love each others company and sometimes when i watch leah cantering around the field i cant even see her lameness , other days she limps like a nodding donkey in trot, so i feel i have made the right decision as she enjoying life, is an excellent doer and still enjoys being walked in hand around the farm and common with her best friend, i no she is a luxury and i would rather spend cash on my girls than things for me. when she is in constant pain despite the daily bute and is not enjoying life then i would make that final decision, she has a grade 3 heart murmer and is a big heavy girl but looks great for 25 years old. You will do whats right for your horse , with compassion and common sense, quality of life means more than quantity, horse are not consumable disposable items they are part of our lives and we owe them for all that they give.
 
My mare would happily be a pet, so I have always said that I'd retire her as long as field sound for as long as possible. If that is 10 years then that is fine. If it is 10 weeks then that is also fine. But they are all different. You have to do what tou think is right for both of you. I do think it is harsh when people assume that a horse won't retire without trying it, a friends eventer mare went from competing at PN to field ornament within a week and 5 years on is happy as larry.

Not everyone can afford a pet though, that always has to be thought about too.

Thinking about it and not avoiding it is never wrong!
 
I have two retired old chaps, 26ish and 28ish, they've been fully retired for about 3.5 years, one had been winding down towards for retirement for 3/4years prior to that, the other about 6months.

Neither will be PTS before their time is due unless my financial circumstances drastically change, they are both field sound, content and doing really well out 24/7.

What's right for one horse isn't always right for the other, I had a couple of dolk tell me horses go down hill quickly once they retire, but that's not been my experience. The yard I'm at has a few retired and they all seem to be doing well.
 
My pony retired at 20 and is now 25. She happily lives out with shelter 24/7 and needs to do so for her health. She actually really perked up once retired. Her age is now showing and she needs bute and prascend so she is far more expensive to keep than my others. I can afford this at the moment and she is still happy in herself so it is an easy choice.

You know your horse better than anyone and do take advice from vet and farrier, but go with what you think is right rather than what others might say. In my case I had conflicting vet opinions from 2 vets and it was my farrier who said go with my instinct and he was right.

I also remember a friend with a really fab 20 year old who had him put down when he could no longer work. She felt he would not do well out of work and did not want the expense. The horse was out of pain and she took the best decision for her circumstances.

She got some negative comments and so did I.

In saying all this what I am trying to say is that what is right for one horse and owner is not right for all so make your decision and do not be overly influenced by the views of others.
 
my mare is 24,has cushings and has had some lameness issues. she seems to be happy to hack out quietly a few times a week and is currently out 24/7 and come in daily for a small feed and a checkover and groom....she is a little stiff for the first 5 mins of the hack and then is fine, if she is not sound she is not ridden . I would not bute just so I could ride. I feel she is happy and as soon I think she is not enjoying her current lifestyle I will retire her completely and PTS once her quality of life is not good. it is difficult to do the right thing when they are oldies and you can only do your best. good luck
 
Your horse will tell you when they have had enough, my mare, now late 20's was diagnosed with arthritis in both front fetlocks, vet wouldn't even trot her up she was so sore, 1 bute a day kept her comfortable for a while, then stopped being effective, all vet could suggest was up the bute, I thought if she needed more bute, what was the point, she struggled over the summer hard ground, so I made THAT decision, put her on Tumeric just because I had nothing to lose, 3 yrs later, she is off bute altogether and back as a happy hacker, I saw a huge difference in her in a short space of time, I found it difficult to make the call to pts when she was gleaming with good health and eating, well, like a horse, her only issue was arthritis. Oh, and being a tart when in season
 
OP I really feel for you. I made the decison to end things for my big horse last year and despite all the health problems he'd had, the care he'd needed, the trouble and expense (and it had all been considerable over the years!), making that last decision for him was the only time when I really felt the responsibility of owning a horse weigh heavy on my shoulders. Although I hadn't been expecting it to come to the crunch as soon as it did, I'd suspected for a while he was never going to make old bones and, without wanting to sound too soppy, that did make our time together even more precious.

The only "wrong" decision in a situation like this is to offload the horse on someone else to avoid taking responsibility, and it's absolutely clear you're not going to do that. If your mare's last days - whether those are this autumn or further down the line - are comfortable and happy then you've done right by her. I know that whatever you decide to do, it will be because it's right for you both.

Enjoy the time you have left with her, however long that is, and trust yourself to do the right thing at the right time, because you will.
 
My daughters jumping horse went lame in a back leg when he was 18. Investigations showed deterioration of the spine and kissing spines (which is probably why he used to buck). My daughter was pregnant at the time and decided to retire him. He is 24 this year and has 1 bute a day to help keep him pain free. He looses weight in the winter but if you look at him now he looks fab. We have noticed over the last year of so that he finds it more difficult to lift his hind legs for the farrier but apart from that he seems ok. Every spring we wonder if this will be his last summer but so far he seems happy and content. When he has difficulty in getting up after a roll we may have to make the difficult decision to let him go. He has shared our lives for 22 years so I think we have all been winners. As to finances we are lucky at the moment to have him on our own land but things may change in the near future and there is no way we could afford to keep him at a livery yard so yes in that case we would have to make that decision sooner rather than later.
 
I haven't read replies but here's my take on it.

When I was able to take back my old eventer (17 at time) due to my previous spinal issues, I planned a life of light hacking for him until he was ready to fully retire or 'go'.

He had different plans, gentle hacking was not in his mindset even after time to adjust to a slower pace of life, so to prevent flaring up of wear and tear issues, I fully retired him. It was the death of him really.

He needed to 'work' but his body couldn't cope with his aspirations. I had him put down.

He had a gleaming coat, full of personality and still a spring to his step the day he was put down, (he was 24) but I did the right thing. He had arthritic issues (particularly in pelvis) that would eventually cause an unpleasant natural death.

I never had him on bute, I refuse to prolong the life of an elderly horse because I can. When it's time, it's time, preferably before their quality of life makes their euthanasia a necessity.

Just my view and hope it helps. I have no guilt with having this 'horse of a lifetime' PTS, the timing was right and my conscience rests easy.
 
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No decision made after careful consideration and with the best interests of both horse AND owner is the wrong decision...
I am currently going through this with our 21 year old retiree. She was retired after having to have an eye removed due to melanoma. I had half made the decision to retire her anyway as she had started to throw in the occasional very uncharacteristic stop at SJ, so I figured arthritis was perhaps catching up with her. I have always been quite against using painkillers to keep horses sound enough for riding, and we are lucky enough to have plenty of space so she was retired last year.
It does NOT suit her. I really thought it would as she is a grumpy old bat who has always lived out in a mob 24/7 anyway and I though she would be very glad not to be in work any more! Perhaps it is co-oincidence, but she has got visibly older in 12 months, she moons around the gate when the others are being tacked up to go for a ride, and she is VERY aware of the fact that her rations have been cut now she is not in work!
So now I am faced with either putting a 21 year old mare back into work after 12 months and see how she goes, or PTS...
 
So after posting about this almost a month ago, I think I have come to the decision to retire her, and then after the summer PTS :(

She has been unsound for several weeks on and off, and never has any unsoundness stayed that long, without there being improvement, and without the farrier or vet feeling happy that things are heading the right way too.

When she tried to get rider off the other day (at a very casual walk) I think that was plenty signal enough that she isn't comfortable or happy being ridden. This is a horse that has never ever bucked, reared or ever done such the sort in the 4 years I have had her - if it was usual behaviour I would stick with keeping her in some very light work, but it isn't and I know her well enough to just 'know' that the time is now, if that makes sense?

Going to get the vet out, just to make sure that she is at least comfortable out in the field. Plenty of fuss, living out 24/7 and some in hand walks will be her next month or two.

Although I knew the decision was going to coming around, I didn't realise it would hit me so quickly. I almost feel like it is an impending doom, and the decision would be SO much easier if it was this absolute instance, but whilst it may be easier for me, I think she deserves a month or two, just to soak up the sun, and stroll about. However, neither did I realise how confident and at peace I would feel with the decision I have chosen. I just feel in my gut it is right. Not that it will make the next month or two any easier. :(
 
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OwnedbyJoe said:
No decision made after careful consideration and with the best interests of both horse AND owner is the wrong decision...
I am currently going through this with our 21 year old retiree. She was retired after having to have an eye removed due to melanoma. I had half made the decision to retire her anyway as she had started to throw in the occasional very uncharacteristic stop at SJ, so I figured arthritis was perhaps catching up with her. I have always been quite against using painkillers to keep horses sound enough for riding, and we are lucky enough to have plenty of space so she was retired last year.
It does NOT suit her. I really thought it would as she is a grumpy old bat who has always lived out in a mob 24/7 anyway and I though she would be very glad not to be in work any more! Perhaps it is co-oincidence, but she has got visibly older in 12 months, she moons around the gate when the others are being tacked up to go for a ride, and she is VERY aware of the fact that her rations have been cut now she is not in work!
So now I am faced with either putting a 21 year old mare back into work after 12 months and see how she goes, or PTS...
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Work her :smile3: not hard, maybe a quiet hack once or twice a week. It'll make all the difference to her.

Misskk88, so sorry for your situation but as you say, it's the right thing. I'm sure the mare will appreciate her last few months in the sun, being groomed and going on walks. A hard goodbye for you though. I'll be thinking of you both.
 
It sounds a sensible decision, and what I am doing with mine. My mare has improved over the last few weeks and looks bright as a button, which is making things much harder, I think deep down I know that she will probably deteriorate and I've sort of steeled myself for not having her around this winter. It is incredibly hard though. I too will be thinking of you.
 
touchstone said:
It sounds a sensible decision, and what I am doing with mine. My mare has improved over the last few weeks and looks bright as a button, which is making things much harder, I think deep down I know that she will probably deteriorate and I've sort of steeled myself for not having her around this winter. It is incredibly hard though. I too will be thinking of you.
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Touchstone, so sorry to hear you are in the same situation. Thinking of you too.

If I could afford to retire her forever, knowing she was comfortable, I would. But 1, I think she will slowly deteriorate or not be comfortable enough to do so long term and 2, I just can't afford to do so. She is pretty much on grass livery as it is, but I will lose the support of the person riding and contributing to her.

This is the first time I have had to make this decision. It really does not make it easy at all :(
 
OP I really do feel for you - we took the decision earlier in the year that our old retired mare would be PTS at the end of the summer.

She damaged a tendon sheath in the field last year (she was already retired and loving it!) and since then she has had box rest, limited turn out and - a year later - is still lame unless on bute. It's devastating because other than that she is as bright as a button, coat is gleaming, eyes nice and bright and she's very alert. But, she is in pain and the winter is going to be horrendous for her - she needs to be moving as much as poss because of her low level arthritis but she needs to be resting because of the damaged tendon sheath.

We are giving her the best summer that we possibly can and then we will say goodbye. She has given us some beautiful offspring (who we still have) and I will be devastated when she goes but I know I have to do what is best for her despite how crappy it makes me feel.
 
Madlady, sorry to hear of your situation, what a catch 22. At least you can put your mind at ease that you are doing the best for her, and trying to give her one last summer to enjoy. It can be a hard decision when they are otherwise bright eyed and lively, regardless of any discomfort.

After learning, seeing, reading and experiencing horses over the years, I am of the opinion that it is always better to be too early than too late with making the decision. It is tough, but taking into account their welfare is the last dignity and kindness we can give them. I plan to do that until her absolute last breath.

The issue I have suddenly thought about is insurance. I am with KBIS and they have so far been excellent, but I won't be putting her through investigations (except vet to check she is at least comfortable enough), and unless the vets find something totally horrific or she manages to do anymore damage to herself (doubtful), when I do make the decision to PTS, they aren't going to pay out towards her death or disposal costs as it will have been my choice and against BEVA guidelines. Am I best just cancelling the policy now and having the extra money a month towards her costs, or do I hang in there and keep it, just in case? I am in two minds.
 
Personally I would cancel the insurance (easy for me to say as mine aren't insured)

Could be worth a call to them before you do though as they might cover you.
 
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