pipingwidow
New User
I have owned my mare for 17 months and we seem to be making little headway. This is my first time owning my own horse. I have been riding on and off for eighteen years and while I have jumped a little I prefer flatwork. I only competed within a riding school scenario).
My mare is incredibly sensitive and gets highly strung if I am tired, sick or upset. As a mum of two small boys and a sufferer of CFS for the last year this is much of the time. Before I get lambasted I wasnt sick when I bought her so initially we did quite well together: hacked alone, walk, trot and canter around the arena, no fear/distrust/worry. She bucked me off in January 2013 as she was too fresh (my fault), so I did tonnes of groundwork and got someone else to ride until I was confident again and then we built from there.
A few months ago she started taking off in canter. We eventually found a shoulder and back problem and had these corrected, however, I was then wary of doing canter work so decided to focus on walk and trot. We were making great progress, softening, getting an outline etc, even had a couple of dressage lessons (one was at another yard and we hacked to it). Then a couple of weeks ago she took off in trot! It had been a bad / emotional morning for me so after twenty minutes of nice schooling she decided she too was stressed and off she went.
I think she is just the wrong horse for me at the wrong time. I have been told I am a very good rider but over the past few years I have lost self-confidence and it translates in my riding of her. Ironically I can ride my friends little cob with no issue because I trust him.
Over this past year I have tried Parelli, Ive learnt to double-lunge and long rein, all to try and create a bond with her and build some trust. She is a doll to deal with from the ground and very good in a lot of ways but this hypersensitivity is really wearing on me. I need my horse to be a nice escape not an even greater burden.
I have had lessons with the yard owner (a BHSAI), who also rides her 2/3 times a week. She often sees the same problems I do but has the confidence to ride through them. I just find I am too often overly tired and stressed out.
Ironically I can hack her out in company, take the lead past scary objects and attempt new routes without a problem. I even considered starting pleasure rides as I thought they might suit her as she likes to move forward if worried, can be quite brave (oddly) and gets on with all other horses. We do not hack out alone as this does worry her a bit and while the lanes around us are typically quiet they are also narrow and twisty and I dont want any more incidents to set us back further.
My instructor says I simply over think things and I need to grow a set. I know what she means but when you feel physically / emotionally wrecked it is incredibly hard to settle yourself to the extent your horse doesnt feel it.
She is a darling in all other ways and I would love to get past this but I am worried that we simply are who we are and are not right for one another and that ultimately I may ruin her. Id love to throw her out in a field for a year and come back to it when I feel stronger but that may not happen and would probably do her no good.
So do I grow a set and start taking her out to see the world and hope that broadening her horizons and focusing more on hacking will settle her down, or do I sell her on and either get something older and wiser or wait until Im in better shape?
I am getting her back and saddle checked again next week to be sure Im not missing something.
Thanks.
My mare is incredibly sensitive and gets highly strung if I am tired, sick or upset. As a mum of two small boys and a sufferer of CFS for the last year this is much of the time. Before I get lambasted I wasnt sick when I bought her so initially we did quite well together: hacked alone, walk, trot and canter around the arena, no fear/distrust/worry. She bucked me off in January 2013 as she was too fresh (my fault), so I did tonnes of groundwork and got someone else to ride until I was confident again and then we built from there.
A few months ago she started taking off in canter. We eventually found a shoulder and back problem and had these corrected, however, I was then wary of doing canter work so decided to focus on walk and trot. We were making great progress, softening, getting an outline etc, even had a couple of dressage lessons (one was at another yard and we hacked to it). Then a couple of weeks ago she took off in trot! It had been a bad / emotional morning for me so after twenty minutes of nice schooling she decided she too was stressed and off she went.
I think she is just the wrong horse for me at the wrong time. I have been told I am a very good rider but over the past few years I have lost self-confidence and it translates in my riding of her. Ironically I can ride my friends little cob with no issue because I trust him.
Over this past year I have tried Parelli, Ive learnt to double-lunge and long rein, all to try and create a bond with her and build some trust. She is a doll to deal with from the ground and very good in a lot of ways but this hypersensitivity is really wearing on me. I need my horse to be a nice escape not an even greater burden.
I have had lessons with the yard owner (a BHSAI), who also rides her 2/3 times a week. She often sees the same problems I do but has the confidence to ride through them. I just find I am too often overly tired and stressed out.
Ironically I can hack her out in company, take the lead past scary objects and attempt new routes without a problem. I even considered starting pleasure rides as I thought they might suit her as she likes to move forward if worried, can be quite brave (oddly) and gets on with all other horses. We do not hack out alone as this does worry her a bit and while the lanes around us are typically quiet they are also narrow and twisty and I dont want any more incidents to set us back further.
My instructor says I simply over think things and I need to grow a set. I know what she means but when you feel physically / emotionally wrecked it is incredibly hard to settle yourself to the extent your horse doesnt feel it.
She is a darling in all other ways and I would love to get past this but I am worried that we simply are who we are and are not right for one another and that ultimately I may ruin her. Id love to throw her out in a field for a year and come back to it when I feel stronger but that may not happen and would probably do her no good.
So do I grow a set and start taking her out to see the world and hope that broadening her horizons and focusing more on hacking will settle her down, or do I sell her on and either get something older and wiser or wait until Im in better shape?
I am getting her back and saddle checked again next week to be sure Im not missing something.
Thanks.
