When you find out your'e the centre of gossip :(

M

millreef

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Hi HHO's
I'm not online a great deal anymore but dip in for advice when i need it. I've just come home from the yard and one of the new clients couldn't wait to tell me that I was the centre of gossip again! I had no idea I was worth taking about. I love my yard and it's my happy place and I don't want that to change. The client in question has a daughter who is desperate for a livery (which we have) and is jealous, that I know, but I've always been really nice to her, and everyone as a matter of fact. I go there, ride my horse, help out and chat with friends (never gossip I might add). She practically broke her neck to tell me people were talking about me getting a new horse (which unnerved me a bit). When I asked her who they were she said she couldn't remember. Bit sad that she would take enjoyment from making me feel uncomfortable. She also tried to engage in gossip about another rider but I didn't want her to carry on so tried to keep changing the subject. Why has she entered my happy place :(:(
 
Urrrgggh I hate it. I was recently the victim of some internet bullying/gossiping. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before and I was at first quite upset, however I soon realised it was either jealousy or that they just didn't have anything better to do with their time than make up lies and spread gossip and I ended up feeling quite sorry for them.
P x
 
Gosh, people talk. Sometime horsey people are a bit too gossipy granted - but you kind of need to brush this kind of thing off. Smile, laugh make a joke of it.
 
Difficult to ignore I know and it will be quite raw for a while but don't engage in any gossip back and just go and do what you were doing and eventually she will get bored and drop off. Try not to let it bother you too much. :)
 
If she does it again, look as confused as you can, and say: "What new horse?" Then just walk away quickly, before she can respond...

It sucks when others gossip :( <passes jaffa cakes>
 
Thanks for the advice - I know it seems really petty and I shouldn't be upset but it hit a raw nerve. I put a lot of effort into the yard and help out whenever I can so for someone new to arrive and start being a spanner in the works made me feel really uncomfortable.
You're advice did make me feel better though so thanks :)
 
Yard gossip is horrendous and I'm glad to be out of it. It seems that no matter how friendly or charitable you are towards others, that's all overlooked when one rotten apple arrives on the scene spreading lies and rumours, and all the good is forgotten and you are labelled the bad guy because it's more interesting for others to join the bandwagon. My friend and I had that exact treatment a while ago. Still raw! Phew, I obviously needed that little rant!!
 
Are you getting a new horse? If not, pretend you are, maybe Valegro? Lol, time for your fingers in your ears and a few lalalalalala's I reckon, and stay in your happy place!
 
Had this happen to me a few times, online and in real life, both of which I find highly amusing. I love how out of all the people they choose to gossip and bitch about I'm the chosen one, and knowing they have nothing better to do with their sad, mundane lives than gossip about others for a kick makes me smile just that little bit more :)

It's even funnier when you walk in on them gossiping about you, and they try not to name any names when you go "oh my god, REALLY?! Who would DO THAT?!" Haha totally messes with them ;)
 
Firstly, you're probably NOT the centre of gossip :) I don't understand what you mean by "The client in question has a daughter who is desperate for a livery (which we have)" but I take it that she is jealous of your situation, and is probably deliberately trying to make you feel uncomfortable. Anyone who tries to stir trouble like this is best ignored and avoided. Her true colours will emerge soon enough. Don't get involved, don't bitch about her, just smile & be pleasant.

Why on earth would it unnerve you if people were talking about you getting a new horse? Would they not have been talking about it in an excited way? If someone at our yard is in the market for a new horse, they're often the subject of discussion, we all want them to find the perfect horse for them, and it's all very exciting! Try to take a more positive slant on things. Either they're your friends, in which case they should be happy for you - or they're not, in which case their opinion is worth nothing anyway :)
 
There is always one
...
at least.
Rise above it, take on board what you want, and block out all the other rubbish that is spurted out.
 
OR.... She could have been trying to be nice and getting to know you! After all, getting a new horse is not nasty and perhaps your reaction made her think she had said something she should not have ?
 
Gossip can hurt but for me when i decided to pts my mare from the gossip came support. I kept it quiet as was personal telling people who needed to know . 2 people turned against me but through gossip the rest of yard stood by me. The 2 btw i paid to help when i coyldnt get there mmmmmm ?
 
be careful with people like that! I had a girl at my yard that came in, made out she was my best mate and in a round about kind of way started making comments about the others one the yard! causing loads of issues! we've all left now! and she's got what she wants! guess what, she doesn't have anything to do with any of us anymore!
 
If you are being gossiped about it means you are interesting!!! Seriously it may be you this week and someone else next. Don't rise to the bait and just carry on doing your own thing. Remember you can come on to HHO and have a bitch and gossip about them - he he !
 
What JennBags said. Not entirely sure I understand the OP but sounds as though you have something many others want (and many of us will never have) and people are interested that you're horse shopping (again, something many can do rarely/never). So, you're interesting... but hardly scandalous - chill pill required!
 
The best way to hit back at gossips, is to carry on being friendly and pleasant as normal. They hate seeing people being happy.

Don't let it spoil your enjoyment with your new horse.
 
I agree with remaining friendly and pleasant :) I've been the center of unpleasant gossip myself when the ringleader decided I was enemy no.1 (for reasons I still can't figure out). I just went on as normal and within months ringleader had to make herself scarce from the yard because she'd alienated pretty much everyone by that time. People aren't stupid and they do realise not all the rubbish they hear is true, especially after they're bitten by gossip themselves down the line!
 
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