Where are those "What's the silliest thing you've ever heard" threads??

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showqa

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True story.

Local neighbour had an RI come and teach her and her cob. RI highlighted the fact that the rider is forever nagging with her legs (which she does - dreadfully!) Rider has seen her backside at being criticised, and I asked why she bothered having a lesson if she didn't want criticism as we're all criticised at times in our lessons. Rider says "Yes, but you don't know anything about cobs - you've never ridden them. You HAVE to nag cobs, that's the way you HAVE to ride them - it's the breed".

Hmmmm.
 
We were struggling with a couple of wild ponies that we had 'taken on'. They were particularly difficult, and we had plenty of experience in dealing with this type of pony. These two however, we proving to be more difficult than usual.

So, in our open minded way, we consulted a 'horse whisperer' as all we really wanted to do was get headcollars on them - they were in a stable, but had still evaded capture.

The horse whisperer turned up with a massive fur hat on. It made me wonder.

She stood at the door of each stable, she wouldn;t go in the one with the pony that had been seen to kick out while we were mucking out around him. She went a stood in the corner of the other stable, then came along with a long stick with a 'noose' hanging off the end and tried to get it over their heads (I went down the yard of 12 ponies - all tame - and only one woud allow the rope over their heads)

So, then she suggested that we build a wall out of breeze blocks round each pony until only its head was stuck out, wait for the cement to set, the put the headcollar on!

Simples!
 
NOOOOO!!!!!!! You are kidding!!!!! That is hysterical. Did you think that someone had set you up for a laugh?
 
When I ride my Connie, I have to do so backwards while singing The Hills of Connemara and only dressed in green and purple before he'll go forward. I have to. It's the breed.
 
haha funny stuff!! I got told the other day that because my horse fell over in the trailer that I shouldn't have fed him that night because then he would learn that if he fell over then he wouldn't get dinner!! lol
 
Miss Chaos I love it!

Ginger - I can hardly believe it. I mean surely that's nothing to do with having no horse sense - that is just sheer stupidity!!!!
 
Ginger - I can hardly believe it. I mean surely that's nothing to do with having no horse sense - that is just sheer stupidity!!!![/QUOTE]

And this comment was at a horse show last week by someone who breeds , owns & competes! Haha!
 
The things some people believe are quite incredible! I've been quite lucky in escaping stupidity over the years... the stupidest thing I've ever been told is that 'horses peak at 6 years old - it's all downhill from there!'
 
A livery was confused when they looked at a horse and was told it was bombproof-he replied thats okay I am not planning to sent it to northern ireland (was some years ago)

Also asked someone about hay and they said to just chuck a haynet in so he threw one over the door!!
 
The best was a livery, she was looking after someone else's pony for the weekend. Lady said to her feed a slice of hay in the net and same amount roughly in hi fi lite. " how do I keep the hi fi lite to stay in the net " .

Same lady when double dosing. " is that 0ne wormer today and one tomorrow"

Bless her she is a lovely lady.
 
Brandy said:
So, then she suggested that we build a wall out of breeze blocks round each pony until only its head was stuck out, wait for the cement to set, the put the headcollar on!
Click to expand...

Surely the good work would be undone by having to use a JCB and wrecking ball to bust the nicely-headcollared ponies back out again, though?
 
A lady once tried to convince me that my steel grey yearling would stay that colour. I tried to assure her that he would indeed go completely white eventually but she wouldnt believe me. Because when theyre born grey sometimes they stay steel grey forever!
I didnt have the heart to tell her he was born black as the ace of spades.

Also, got told by a yard owner that an effective way of drying up a mare after weaning was to reduce her water intake...

Another, a colleague of mine told me about a lady whos yearling was injured, and she used to sit in the stable reading to it. She took his haynet out of the stable because then he would go to sleep.

x
 
I recently overheard a novice owner who was about to move yards talking to yard manager:

Yard Manager - 'What's the grazing like at your new yard?'
Novice owner - 'Grass'

The yard manager was asking as horse is a good doer and was worried about horse moving to rich grazing. Yard manager was very diplomatic and tactful. I had to stifle a giggle.

Also overheard recently:
Horse owner - 'my horse is filthy. He needs a bath'
Non-horsey friend - 'Wow, do you have a bath here big enough for horses?'
 
CaveCanem said:
Surely the good work would be undone by having to use a JCB and wrecking ball to bust the nicely-headcollared ponies back out again, though?
Click to expand...


My thought process hadn;t quite made it that far........I was just wondering how exactly you get a pair of wild ponies to stand still long enough for you to build around them?
 
Not particularly stupid but just a very funny comment from a very non-horsey parent!

His daughter brings in pony and ties him up outside his stable. Gets a hoof pick and starts to pick his feet out as dad watches.
Next thing I hear "Give us one of those too, I'll do his others" cue daughter rolling round laughing whilst trying to explain to her poor dad that her pony couldn't stand on two feet!
K x
 
It's vet students that crack me up! About a year ago I had the vet out to my horse who was coliking. Said vet is 6ft6in-ish, student was4ft10in if she was lucky, horse is 17.2hh. Now first thing the student asks is if I had mucked out my horse already to which I replied no - the response - The horse must be quite a clean one then... No love, he had a slight impaction colic.

It get's better. Mr Vet does a rectal all fine and dandy. Student gets the chance to do a rectal as well and at this point I asked her if she wanted a bucket. I got a blank look then the reply - why would I need a bucket? If I pull anything out I'll just put it on the floor. Now at this point neither I nor the vet could hardly contain the giggles. It all went to pot when I said to the student - I meant a bucket for you to stand on. Cue another blank look then upon realising she was being made fun of slightly responded with - no it's ok, I'll stand on the straw bank. I now had to walk away before I ended up on the floor laughing and I went to get her a bucket. I put it at her feet and she did look rather sheepish standing there only being able to get a 1/3 of her arm in as she was so short. Needless to say she then did stand on the bucket and complete her examination.

Best vet student ever she was :D
 
To be fair these fools, sometimes people just have a "Blonde Moment". I am blonde and sadly I do have quite a few of them! I'm not thick or anything - I'm the model of common sence and intelligence but sometimes I just don't think!

Not horse-related but a guy I used to work with was hanging out in my office and told me he'd was having some peace and quiet whilst he'd sent his work experience lad on a bit of a wild-goose chase errand to buy tartan paint. I actually asked him if it was really tartan patterened - I rang Mum to tell her about it too and she said it's fine but you've got to remember not to stir it like most paints when you first opened it. She rang me back a week later to check I hadn't believed them both. No, no, of course not Mum, don't be silly. . . :rolleyes:

Now, it's not that i'm stupid but if I'm not switched on that day and you tell me things with a straight face, I will believe you!! One of many things I've stupidly believed!
 
Conversation about how we learnt to ride at a rally...

'Aunties horse.'
'Parents bought me a pony.'
'Riding school.'

pause

'What's a riding school?'

Instructor was like :eek: excuse me?!
 
I was told by the owner of a perspective loan horse, than this horse would never be able to go barefoot (as my other horses are) as......wait for it....HIS LEGS WERE TOO LONG!!!!!!!! I literally died on the floor and realised this horse (owner) wasn't for me!!
 
Friend of ours had a yearling filly for sale, virtually untouched so hadn't been taught to trot up in hand etc. Potential buyers turned up, first asked if they could see the filly having a rug put on. Told no as the filly had never had a rug put on and weren't about to start now (warm summer day). Asked to see her trotted up, told no, she doesn't know that yet. My friend offered to get her trotting around the field, but that wasn't any good for potential buyers

After much faffing, buyers turned to my friend and said "oh I don't think she's for us, she's got so much growing to do"!!!!

Really!!! A yearling that has to grow! My friend told them where to go quick smart lol
 
Brandy said:
We were struggling with a couple of wild ponies that we had 'taken on'. They were particularly difficult, and we had plenty of experience in dealing with this type of pony. These two however, we proving to be more difficult than usual.

So, in our open minded way, we consulted a 'horse whisperer' as all we really wanted to do was get headcollars on them - they were in a stable, but had still evaded capture.

The horse whisperer turned up with a massive fur hat on. It made me wonder.

She stood at the door of each stable, she wouldn;t go in the one with the pony that had been seen to kick out while we were mucking out around him. She went a stood in the corner of the other stable, then came along with a long stick with a 'noose' hanging off the end and tried to get it over their heads (I went down the yard of 12 ponies - all tame - and only one woud allow the rope over their heads)

So, then she suggested that we build a wall out of breeze blocks round each pony until only its head was stuck out, wait for the cement to set, the put the headcollar on!

Simples!
Click to expand...

That is brilliant!!

I had a 'horse loader' expert turn up in a turkey van wearing trainers and a pair of jogging bottoms that fell down when my pony buggered off with him and he ran after him still attached to the rope. What a muppet!
 
Originally Posted by laurah1986
I was riding once and my non horsey friend was watching. Horse had a little bit of foam around his mouth and friend shouted 'STOP! I think he's been sick!'

this one had me crying with laughter !!!!

I have just spat out my wine! Priceless!!
 
My favourite was when I had to give a colleague a lift somewhere.

Me "I apologise in advance for the state of my car - I have horses'

Her "Oh really, do they travel in your car?" :D
 
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