Where does not enjoying competing any longer and dissapointment cross over??

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showjump

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As title really, seeing and hearing so many people say don't compete anymore if you don't enjoy it. Its supposed to be fun, and enjoyable. This go me thinking on Sunday evening, after a dreadful show Sat, 2 hour trek there, to be eliminated on my usually super consistent mare, 2 hour trip home.. to drive to yet another show on the Sunday morning to get ditched at fence 3 by the same mare! Then other horse had the last fence down in the jump off! (or would have qualified!) then drive home, another 10 hours spent at a show to do not very well at all!

I was very disappointed, and fed up on Sunday night, and upon thinking of the weekends events thought to myself am i just disappointed that nothings gone my way this weekend? Or am i not enjoying competing? I suppose that if everything had gone right and qualified both days, i would have this thought at all?

Hmm so just a general pondering, and hopefully i'm not the only one that has ever has this thought?!
 
The difference is wednesday.
If by wednesday you are thinking about the weekend with a bit of excitement and hoping you will do better then you still enjoy competing.
If by wednesday you're thinking "I suppose I'd better go" then you are not.
 
Sorry to hear you're feeling like this! I have certainly had plenty of times when i have felt the same and wondered why on earth i don't just give up. However, deep down i know i love the buzz of competing and whilst the successes may be few and far between, they are worth all the difficult times when they eventually come.

I think the question to ask yourself is - do you normally enjoy competing? For example, did you enjoy it when you qualified for the 2nd rounds? Did you enjoy the Hargate 2nd rounds even though you were disappointed and unlucky not to qualify? If yes, then i think that fundamentally you do like competing. I think you've just had a really tough and disappointing weekend and you've also travelled miles so it makes it even worse.

Try to look at all the positives and successes you've had......your mare has been jumping super and this is just a little blip which I'm sure happens to the best of horses and riders! I am sure that you will get over it and will have lots of success in the future. Your older horse also jumped really well on Sunday ...just think you probably expected him to stop at that spooky filler and he didn't! (As you can see I am now a master at looking at the positives!)

Big hugs x
 
I'm still in 2 minds whether I actually enjoy competing or not. On one hand when we've done well, it feels great, but on the other I hate the nerves/getting ready, etc and I especially hate warming up. I would love to be an 'owner'. I love taking my pony out with her loaner and watching them compete. Really enjoy it. I would love to find someone to compete my dressage cob, but then it's finding someone who rides him well, etc.

So I know what you mean. Prehaps have a break for a while and then see how you feel!? That normally really helps me as I want to get back out after a break. Also there shouldn't be pressure, so what if you don't do well, and horses don't have ambitions/goals so they don't care either.
 
Paddymonty- What you've said makes a lot of sense! By Wednesday this week, i will probably be thinking i'm going to have a weekend off!! However i will then be planning my next outing, so i suppose that means, i've got over the bad weekend, and planning to have a more successful outing next time?

Supanova- I was ok (well as ok as i could be) with the problems of Saturday, i managed to talk my way out of the elimination by making excusing, and telling myself the venue didn't suit my mares way of going. However i seem to do that a lot, instead i jumped didn't ride well enough! However i went to the show with a friend, and so had no pressure/ moaning off my dad.
I think on Sunday i had my dad moaning all the way home, telling my that the day had been a waste of time! (well yes it had, as i hadn't qualified, however i was pleased with my old boy who had not been to a show since June!) However parents don't seem to see positives until there a rosette in front of them!!
I was chuffed with Hargates 2nd round, just annoying i didn't qualify. I think sometimes, when you get chasing them, then the wheels seem to fall off. Perhaps because you change the way you ride (not on purpose) but you have in the back of your mind, if i qualify here then i don't have to travel X number of miles next week!
Suppose once i've had a decent lesson, i will feel more positive..
I have also informed my dad that i cannot ride a clear round every week, and my horses cannot jump a clear round every week, so until hes ok with that i will go to shows without him!!
 
Its really tough if your Dad is giving you ear ache! That is the last thing you need when you are disappointed yourself. My mum is pretty similar and gets really cross with either me or the horse so i get really annoyed - we have often ended up in an argument on the way home!! The only thing that i try to think is that they are only like that because they care and they want us to do well....so in a way it is well meant!!

Your mare could possibly just have been having an off weekend - perhaps she is having her last season of the year which can be tricky. I am sure with a lesson from Susie you will be flying again.

I also know what you mean about making excuses etc........However, i think this is just horse riding and all we can do is strive to be better and look forward. I look at you and your mare and think you do brilliantly - you qualified for the BC champs last year, Scope, the amateur second rounds. You are already jumping Newcomers. You were so unlucky not to qualify at Hargate and Dean Valley. In my eyes you are successful!!
 
I think it can be difficult - I found that once you get to a certain level even as an amateur doing it for a hobby it can become quite about qualifying for this or that and once you are competing generally against pros or people with seriously good horses, you are not going to win all the time and the horse is not always going to go well. Even top horses have bad days.

I have a few months a couple of years back of being an owner as I was unable to ride and did quite enjoy that. However, I very much missed the day to day ownership of a horse and I think an important thing is to try to enjoy that as much as you can and if you find that you are not enjoying the competing (and it is long days, lots of money, etc) stay a bit more local if you can or even take a month out. We often joke about one particular show that it was a 14 hour day for one horse for one class.
 
Milliondollar- Funny you should say that, i love watching others compete my horses but not sure how long id enjoy being on the sidelines for!

Supanova- Yes me and my dad had a very silent journey home!! Her being in season could well of been the problem, didn't think of that tbh. I don't think i'm successful, however i suppose you soon forget the good days when the not so good ones out weigh them! But when you remind me of what shes achieved, i have to think that this weekend was a rarity for her.

I think its hard for parent, as like you said they only want us to do well. The problem is my dad knows nothing about horses, and that's sometimes where he rubs me up the wrong way with his comments!

Humblepie- tbh i don't think me having a weekend off will hurt me, if anything will please the OH as well! But the travelling further afield hasn't helped me, feel like i've wasted a lot of time (travelling) and more money than normal in diesel! I usually try to not travel more than an hour from home!
 
SJ - yes sorry my post wasn't very clear. I meant to suggest stay more local if you can for a while so that it is less hard work for want of a better phrase. I think the longer journeys in both time and money make it more stressful.

Always keep a Dido or Morrisey CD for the journeys back after a bad day!
 
Sounds like mare may not be enjoying it either if she's had two bad days?

Personally i'd just hack and play at home for a month or two with all the pressue off, and then see how you and the mare feel. I bet after a break you'll be keen to get out again.. ;-)
 
If your not enjoying it - dont go. Have some time off from riding, or go hunting or other such fun activity (how about NCR's on endurance rides?)
 
I think the person with you has a huge impact on how you view any given day.

My friends OH goes with her, and picks up on every tiny fault etc, and they spend the next two days going over them.

I tend to come out of the ring, say to dad how crap it was, and he immediately grabs the video camera to show me the bits he thought were good, and reminds me shes 4, etc etc...I then usually perk up and think how fantastic my pony is for 4, and fall back in love with it all!

Do you have anyone very positive and upbeat to go with for a few low key shows?
 
Ah poor you, sounds a horrible weekend.

My first thoughts were it was disappointment with how it went rather than not enjoying competing. If it went well and you were placed but you still found the whole getting ready, the journey there and back etc a trial, then I would say that you were fed up with competing.

Take the pressure off. As suggested, go somewhere nearer, don't clean your tack (eek! haha but if you don't clean it, you won't feel like you've done any prep and then it won't matter if it goes wrong.)

Or (no idea if this is a goer as I don't know you or your horses) go and do something completely different. Clear round cross country is always good for fed-up showjump horses/riders. No tack cleaning, no hanging around for hours bored or having a mad rush to warm up in 3 minutes. Just turn up, pay your money and go and have fun. Look up, kick on and don't even think about looking for a stride.

Works for me.
 
Some more great advice, thanks guys.

Crazymare- that exactly how id love my dad to be, how lucky! My friends great, she goes into the pros and cons of each round and we come to some good conclusions about the days classes, usually on route home.

Lisab- great idea, although i'm already renown for my lack of tack cleaning! ;-) But yes could be brave some XC or even just a farm ride somewhere and relax!
 
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