Who’s cried in a lesson?

scats

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I haven’t, but I’m not someone who cries very often. I have, however, felt extremely frustrated with myself and my performance and doubted myself afterwards. I had a real battle with myself recently because I felt that I was expecting too much of my horse and that I was being unfair asking for ‘more’ when I felt she was already giving me a lot (granted she doesn’t always!).
I would love to be able to afford a horse who finds all the dressage stuff easy, but I don’t, I have a lovely little horse who is a great all-rounder but she is far happier tootling out hacking than putting any major effort in in the school. I teeter constantly on ‘am I pushing her for my own benefit’ but I suppose we could argue that to some extent we do that the moment we sit on them.

My current trainer is great- we had a chat the other day that I felt Millie had gone flat in the school and I was worried about pushing her and making her sour. Trainer advised me to keep her completely out of the school for a few weeks and just go hacking and do lots of canter work around the fields. I think she recognised I needed that for me too.
 

onemoretime

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When I first learnt to ride in the 50's and early 60's we had a very Victorian Riding Instructress who would really bully us small children and rap us over the knees and knuckles with the end of her lunging whip which had a large silver end to it, not like the lightweight plastic ones of today. She had several of us in tears on many occasions. The sad thing is we never said anything to our parents as we felt very guilty and that it must have been our fault and secondly that we may not be allowed to go again which would have been a great shame as we all loved the ponies. I think she would have been had up for child abuse today!
 

Uliy

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As an adult, I have cried several times 😳

I cried my eyes out in a cross country lesson where a (very popular in the area) instructor kept making me try again and again to take my pony over a fence that was too big for both of us - it was my second time cross country schooling and his first ever time, and she knew this! Looking back, I wish I’d just got off and told her where to go!

I also attended a three day camp in which an award winning instructor liked to give very public, very negative feedback (I was his least favourite & coincidentally the youngest attendee!) - I managed not to cry in front of him but did back at the stables after every lesson. Again, I wish I’d just got off and asked for a refund!

Since getting my own horse, I’ve only cried once 🤣 that was out of frustration at myself and also out of worry, because my mare hadn’t been acting like herself and so I was concerned she was trying to tell me something. My instructor was really kind and we just moved on and didn’t mention it again 🤭

Most of the time, I am absolutely buzzing after lessons even with quite strict instructors! I think it’s so important to find someone that works for you, and shouting is not the way to go.
 

Sussexbythesea

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I can’t remember a specific incident but certainly I’ve cried usually from pent up frustration about either my lack of skill or not being able to control fear. I think I’m lucky in that I’ve not had any instructors treat me in a way that specifically made me cry. I tend to get a bit whiny to start off with 😳 🙈.
 

Supertrooper

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When I was a child and the riding school I went to always over horsed the children and would ridicule you if you didn’t want to jump. It unfortunately totally made me scared of jumping or even going a trotting pole from then on

I then in my late teenage years found a brilliant school and instructor who just made everything so much fun that I’d of had and still would if I could have lessons with him every day. You’d be crying from laughing than anything else. Just a brilliant instructor who could get the image and feel of how to do something through to you so easily

Just so wish I’d found him before the other place
 

dorsetladette

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My dad made me cry in a lesson. He was the most wonderful horseman and I learnt so much from him, just being around him. He exuded knowledge and was happy to share with everyone and anyone that would listen (he even did a talk with the WI about showing horses). He taught some big names to jump back in the day. I was just starting to pop a few little jumps in the school on one of the sec B stallions my parents wanted me to do workers with. He was really pingy and when excited would through some shapes, usually a buck after a fence. So, to keep the excitement under wraps the jumps were really small. Excited to show my dad I called him over, he was over the moon and popped the jumps up a bit, then a bit more and a bit more. Polo got excited and busted some moves, I was unseated and lost all my nerve. I didn't come off, but sitting those bucks after a jump bigger than I was happy with in a tiny showing saddle, I've never got past that day and still in my late 30's haven't got past my fear of jumping.
 

ester

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I am nearly ashamed to say I have not. I become coldly outraged at bad treatment from anybody towards anything, including myself and my horse and grit my teeth vowing never again.
Certainly none of mine has been from poor instructors, usually sheer frustration and linked to whatever else is going on in life at the time.
 

Spot_On03

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Yes a few times as a kid I remember being terrified to canter; no idea why. Once I had cantered a few times, I was fine. I do recall as a teen being over horsed going XC once,it took off with me and I cried as the instructor knew what they were doing and tried to make me feel bad.

If I had lessons now, if really pushed I'd probably start sobbing.
 

southerncomfort

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I've cried after a lesson.

Had a lesson with a classical dressage instructor. The lesson consisted of me being yelled at to 'KICK!' 'KICK HARDER' 'YOU'RE NOT KICKING HER HARD ENOUGH' while riding the kids aging pony. I didn't expect to spend that lesson booting her doing massive pony club kicks. It certainly didn't feel very classical and I felt rotten about it afterwards. So yes, I cried afterwards through guilt and shame.

I've seen him teach others and his approach was very different and I wonder if he just didn't think very much of the very common looking little pony.

When I started having lessons again this year I went with a local instructor who is young but fantastic at explaining things, has endless patience and enjoys seeing us progress.
 

PurBee

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I’m a ‘almost cried’ at the time, kinda person. If i can not cry, march through, by the time i get home the moment to cry has passed and im fine, likely laughing!

I almost cried when i fell off….numerous times….especially when whacking my knee badly on a jump that i fell onto and limping, while male ‘show off’ instructor who thought he was john wayne in his fringed chaps, insisted i ‘hop back on’ immediately. I really wanted to cry as the pain was severe. But i hopped on and re-jumped.

Im good at gritting my teeth and ploughing through….but i hated the instructor more than ever after that fall!

I almost cried when next jumping lesson was in hard rain, in outside grass slippy arena…..’nooooo way are we jumping in there in this weather?!’ - oh yes we did….dreadful….feared every jump!

Almost cried when new horse of the R/S bolted off with me on a hack, dragging me along the ground, foot stuck in stirrup in a field with fallen logs and trees dotted everywhere.

Adrenaline seems to prevent me from crying lol!

But i was mostly blessed with nice instructors at my R/S - to be young and have a harsh, judgemental older horse person literally telling me im crap, im sure i would’ve got off horse, slumped in a pile and wailed my heart out! I cant believe the replies on this thread about your experiences with horrid instructors. That’s abusive really to be treated that way!
 

Annagain

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I wonder how many other hobbies cause those doing them to cry? Does the emotional connection to our horses make us more likely to cry? As I said I get a bit weepy if I get nervous so I think climbing or something like that would do it for me but I doubt I'm the same as most riders who seem to cry out frustration / the thought of doing things they don't want to their horses or just from plain nasty instructors.
 

milliepops

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I wonder how many other hobbies cause those doing them to cry? Does the emotional connection to our horses make us more likely to cry? As I said I get a bit weepy if I get nervous so I think climbing or something like that would do it for me but I doubt I'm the same as most riders who seem to cry out frustration / the thought of doing things they don't want to their horses or just from plain nasty instructors.
I cry over my horses quite easily. I think that's mainly about the fragility of life though and pinning all your hoped on a body not really designed for the task its used for.

After the one lesson that made me cry I've never accepted that again. I'm also totally a-ok with the struggle of learning so I can deal with frustration pretty well.
I'm not great at dealing with the disappointment of a horse getting injured tho, don't think that ever gets easier.
 
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