Why Do i Feel So Guilty?

[blueberry]

We have just moved our homebred 2 year old to a lovely yard with great facilities. He was turned out on our field with two other youngsters.
The field had become a mud bath, they have a good size field shelter on and they had ad- lib haylage but they never left the shelter due to the field conditions.
After great thought we decided to bring him in and get him cleaned and rugged up and do some handling with him-he is 15.3hh now and still growing!

The problem i am having is because he is still calling out for the companion he left behind-I always descibed them as soul mates. They were always eating side by side and taking haylage from each others mouth and played constantly with each other.
He looked an absolute site with big 'lugs' hanging from his belly-but as happy as a pig in sh***t.

Now i feel so mean.

He goes out at his new yard with another pony, he gets tucked up in bed every night and getting lovely big feeds (he had started to lose weight).
But i cant get my head round thinking that how bad i feel.
I felt the same when we weaned him from his mum-he is such a clingy youngster and takes confidence from his companions. Now i am thinking i weaned him too young and have given him seperation issues.

Maybe its my age?? i seem to be getting soooo soft in the head as i get older!

 

[pinkcatkin]

Stop beating yourself up. Sadly, horses cannot always stay with their soulmates but you are giving him the best life you can and he will grow up and become more confident as time goes by

I am trying to sound really knowledgeable, but I have got all this to come as my mare is due in May, first foal for me, and lots of learning to do. I am sure I will feel as guilty as you when it comes to weaning!

 

[exracemad]

It is probably better if they are seperated for a bit

I guess it would benefit them in the long run as he won't be so attached and become more confident.

 

[alicedove]

Ideed, I agree, try not do dwell on it too much. You are doing the right thing, better than him staying where he was in too much mud. I think never separating them would give them issues more than keeping on separating them.

So many of us, myself included, do think horses and other animals have human thoughts or feelings. Possibly he is losing weight because he is a bit more active, or stress of the move but not necessarily missing the buddy. Maybe he knows he's missing something but can't quite place what? When an animal dies they don't seem to have the same grief we do, they do feel it differently. Sad, but not the same.

 

[kerilli]

tbh, if he was that clingy, it was better to do it now, rather than trying to do it when he's older and bigger and you want to take him away to be lunged/backed/whatever, and it may have been a perfect excuse for inattention at best, and stroppiness at worst - "oh no, you've taken me away from my bestest mate, help everybody, help, i WON'T work, i WON'T!!!" you get the picture!

they don't dwell on things the way we do. unless his mate is in earshot or in view, he'll never give him a second thought. horses live in the moment, and as long as he's got stuff to eat and drink, and he's cosy, he's happy.
he's not calling for his mate, he's calling for anyone around... which can be you. lots of fuss from you, lots more stimulation than a muddy paddock and a shelter - he's better off, and he'll be fine.
of course, now i feel REALLY guilty about my 3 who are out in a mud-patch with a field shelter...