why do people continue struggling with a horse they dont get on with?

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Gembo

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i have had 2 ponies for my daughter which proved unsuitable. i gave them both about 6 months but then decided it for the best to move them on. not just for us but i thought it was best for them as well and they obviously werent getting on with us and the the lifestyle we were offering them didnt suit them. now, we have found a perfect pony who thrives on the lifestyle we give him. It just really annoys me how people have horses they dont enjoy and dont get on with but yet they continue to struggle with them.
 
Horse for courses and all that. ;)

I didn't get on with my mare for a year and half but I stuck it out and got there. Then again there are some horses who just are not suited for their owners and their circumstances, best to move on.

I struggled because I thought she was worth it and she was. That is WHY I kept going, my choice, same as yours not to. :D
 
I have one I didnt enjoy and didnt get on with at all and have kept him. Thank goodness a year and a half later hes completley changed, can be ridden by children and is safe as houses to hack!

He would have gone back (offered full refund as dealer lied about known medical condition - good old youtube found me the old owners!!) if I could have lived with the thought of the dealer selling him onto some other unsuspecting person, lying to them about his problems like he did to me and him potentially killing someone else (yes he was that bad)........

Old owners now feel v. guilty as only gave him to said dealer to loan out NOT sell (they didnt get a refund) but tbh he had injured them quite badly so I dont think they cared and just wanted shot of him. They never in a million years thought that his new owner would find them (they were not in his passport etc). So yes he eventually has a happy ending and most think I am stupid to have kept him but in my opinion selling him on would have been the most selfish thing to do!
 
Sentimentality is the main reason I have.

And the desire to succeed/ not give up.

Added to which, if you have to sell the horse at a hugely knock down rate, you can't afford to replace it.

And finally, I've hung onto horses that I should've let go, for longer, because I couldn't bear all the crap that goes with selling (timewasters, 'tyre-kickers' and people that are just plain rude!!!!)
 
but i feel especially with children its not worth the risk and if you hang on in there by the time you've 'sorted' the horse and ironed out the creases its time to get a new one as youve out grown it :(
 
Took a year for me to start achieving anything with Belle and I'm really glad I didn't give up. Her trust in me has grown and I can see her for the lovely horse she is! We're learning together. :) She just needed time to settle and to find confidence in me and I feel now that I'll have a lovely horse for years to come.
 
Gembo said:
but i feel especially with children its not worth the risk and if you hang on in there by the time you've 'sorted' the horse and ironed out the creases its time to get a new one as youve out grown it :(
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I think it is different with children. I would imagine that as a parent your main concern is safety for both the child and the pony.

I don't judge people either way, whether they sell on or keep persisting as I have done both in the past so can sympathise.
 
There's no perfect horse, just like there's no perfect rider/owner. Sometimes it takes time and perseverence for a true bond to build, but once you've taken the time to forge that bond, it's irreplacable. And it's not always the horse's "fault" if things don't gel--sometimes it's up to the human to take responsibility to upgrade their skills, etc. I think every first time horse owner goes through some major readjustments, but if they persevere, it can be very rewarding.
 
Had my boy all his life,he is 16 now,on the ground as a baby etc we were the perfect partnership :D Ridden was a different matter all together,I backed him etc myself,but schoolin wise we didnt click,I was so upset as on the ground he trusted me 100%,I had my moments of heartbreak thinking ridden wise we were not meant to be,and that he needed to be with somebody else!How wrong I was :D I stuck with it,and he is still looking after me now :D Love my big TB to bits :D xx
 
Well my mare was a complete looney and everyone told me to sell her. It took a year to sort her out but she turned out to be the horse of a lifetime. I think it takes at least 6 months for a horse to start to settle and a year at least to get to know them properly. Too many people don't have the patience. Often it's the best horses that take the longest to settle and to bond with.
 
but whats the point in spending a year or so sorting the problems out when there are enough horses and ponies out there that you just go and do what you want straight away
 
Gembo said:
but whats the point in spending a year or so sorting the problems out when there are enough horses and ponies out there that you just go and do what you want straight away
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Its called achievement and horsemanship(self satisfaction),No wonder so many horse and ponies are passed from pillar to post with attitudes like that!Sadly we are not all blessed with disposable incomes!!!
 
well im sorry for wanting to enjoy horses while i can and not have to spend all my time trying to sort them out
 
I don't even know what we were thinking when we bought gyp! He even napped when I tried him but we didn't think anything of it! Yes, I know, were idiots :rolleyes: but 2years down the line and rather alot if schooling and patience I couldn't have asked for a nicer neddie :)
I guess some people have hope? Sometimes it works and others it doesn't :)
 
Gembo, why are you bothered if *other* people, completely unrelated to you, chose to persevere with their horses and give them longer than six months before giving up and selling them on? Some people don't buy or sell horses lightly. All good things take time.
 
i have stayed in touch with both ponies hich we sold and both are doing fantastic one is even heading to become a top 148 with millie allen. so i think its fairer on the horse if you move them on because they obviously werent getting on with us and as you can see are f=doing better with other people

horses for courses
 
Gembo said:
It just really annoys me how people have horses they dont enjoy and dont get on with but yet they continue to struggle with them.
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This reminds me of the story of the woman who adopted a rescue dog then returned it to the shelter a couple of days later because it didn't match her decor ....
 
I know several people with field ornaments purely because they couldn't handle the horses, and more than anything I feel for the horse.

One girl brought in 2 cobs from Ireland, I took one and sold it on (getting screwed over on the way) she kept the other, stopped riding it then decided that it was dangerous because it was a rig (hadn't been dangerous with regular handling... :rolleyes: ) had retained testicle removed about a month ago, but was going to have horse PTS if no testicle found, purely because she couldn't cope being a total novice, so sad!

On the other hand I've been told to sell my boy plenty of times, wouldn't part with him for the world, but not planning on giving up either, the good times are so much better, as you feel like u've achieved something! makes it all worth it!
 
In my experience some horses take longer to settle down in a new environment/owner. My mare was extremely nervous when I first got her, perfect to ride but a real cow to handle. Took a little while to work out all her quirks and for her to trust me! Now she is a doddle for anyone to handle. Also some horses may be naughty for anyone, my pony could be a real sod and he would act that way no matter who was riding him but after a few years of schooling I managed to sort out a lot of his problems! I feel that you should give a new horse/pony time to do them justice and if still not working then think about whether moving them on.

*hadfos I LOVE your siggy! I maybe a bit too obssessed with supernatural...*
 
Im one of the people who wouldnt struggle on. Thankfully my two current horses have been a joy to own the entire time i've had them (14 years and 4 years) but I had one pony bought to be a BSJA pony, but I also did a bit of eventing and stuff. Had it a month and it was ok, but a bit mareish. Then one day it bolted on a hack, and I mean proper bolting - no way of stopping it at all! And throw a few bucks in too when we finally did stop. I was only 11 at the time so terrified lol. Gave it the benefit of the doubt, but it did it twice more. My parents sent it off to a SJ yard where it ended up being bought by someone who is now, I believe, jumping at International level. Lets just say he didnt allow her to get away with her bad behaviour ;)

Ended up being given a wonderful, elderly ex-international level jumping pony by some friends a week after that one went. Only had her a year before she had to be pts from a brain tumour, but she gave me SO much confidence, a push button ride as long as you were gentle on her mouth (think she'd had some heavy handed riders) and was a wonderful pony. Particularly with kids I think confidence is key, if they keep falling off or are scared of the ponies thats not good. I had some really difficult ponies when i was young, but none of them were dangerous or uncontrollable, I always felt safe :)
 
one bucked and reared so daughter fell off it then attacked the horse it was hacking with and that horse had to be pts and the other one was just not suitable and needed discipline which i hate but is now on her way to becoming a top 148 and have kept in touch with both now have a wonderful pony, he may his moments but all in all couldnt ask for more
 
Because when you're having problems with a horse, even though people make you feel horribly inadequate when you're having those problems, they will make you feel a hundred times worse when you're seen to be giving up. Of course it's silly and none of us should really care what other people think but that's how it is.
 
Good question. For me it was down to her having severe emotional problems due to bad treatment and me not having had to deal with anything like her before. I would have sent her back but the 'friend' who sold her to me said she would just have her shot, and I know she would. I decided that I either went with that and live with it or work with what I had. Best decision I ever made, we learned together with pro help. I wasn't too proud to ask for help as I knew I was out of my depth really. she turned out to be a fab horse, bombproof hack (well almost). A bit quirky and opinionated, but she is a chestnut mare :D She's not everyones cuppa tea but she is mine.
 
I agree with OP. Theyre bloody expensive animals and why anyone would keep one they weren't enjoying/were scared of as seems to happen all to often is beyond me.
 
madhossy said:
Sentimentality is the main reason I have.

And the desire to succeed/ not give up.

Added to which, if you have to sell the horse at a hugely knock down rate, you can't afford to replace it.

And finally, I've hung onto horses that I should've let go, for longer, because I couldn't bear all the crap that goes with selling (timewasters, 'tyre-kickers' and people that are just plain rude!!!!)
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Agree with this. I kept a horse for four plus years that I got one with, but only JUST. Thing is, she is a fab horse, and I really like her. But riding her for me became a huge chore. It wasn't til I got a new horse on loan after her that I realised how unsuited to eachother we actually were.
 
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