Why do you have your horse? Opinions on this senario appreciated

Baileysno1

Baileysno1

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I have been prompted to ask myself why I have my horse and whether what I get out of him is enough for what I put in?
Very long but your opinions would be appreciated.


have a 6 year old WB Ryu, I've had him 2 years this December. He is very beautiful and talented although I have to admit he doesn't really take me that seriously. My goals for him were to do affliated novice dressage and a bit of everything else, for the most part we've come an incrediblily long way, we've tried everything and been sucessful in RC competition however I struggle with the dressage its not that hes bad or I'm a crap rider its just he requires a firm black and white type of person and when trainers have ridden him he sparkles, when I ride I'm too quiet at the wrong time and it all goes a bit mediocre. When I try to adopt the trainers approach I feel uncomfortable and a bit like an actress, its just not my nature!

This is Ryu

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So this is whats prompted me to question my situation, I've ridden another youngster in for bringing on, shes a mare TB type not flashy like Ryu but incredibly balanced and sensitive, she requires a quiet rider (like me) she is very sweet and she has no issues and went out sunday to her first unaffliated dressage competion and scored 71% having never been in that enviroment before or even in a trailer!

Ryu has a very big personality, taking him out is a military operation and can be very tiring, his behavior is not really bad or dangerous it just worries me, I worry about where to park so he can see other horses, whether he'll get upset if we're left alone in the warm up, if he'll spin round when I put
his saddle on, these things rarely happen but I'm so paranoid about having an incident it puts me off competing. I work very hard full time to keep my 2 horses they are a hobby and supposedly a pleasure.

So in the mare I glimpsed really what it would be like having a more suitable match, however I've put blood and sweat into Ryu to get him where we are and emotionally although hes a struggle I'm attached. My friend says she sees horses very differently and they are there to work for her not as pets but they're her livelihood so thats understandable. Do you perservere with a diffcult horse or are you of the opnion that if they don't preform or behave to your expectations then they must go?
 
Personally I swapped a difficult, but talented horse for a quiet youngster who has turned out to have more talent after all as she's reliable, and she is so much more fun! Having always had difficult horses with 'issues' it's taking me some time to get used to her honesty!

I persevered for 7 years with a difficult horse in my teens, and had the energy and time then to cope with her strops and work round her issues. Since having to work so my time was more limited, and bouncing less after falls, I decided that after 18 months of battling with my brute that I (and my battered body) had had enough.

I put in so much effort and time, that I should be able to get something back, and enjoy my time at the stables, rather than being stressed all the time, and limiting what I did so that my horse didn't get upset.
 
Depends what you want out of it. I see a lot of riders whose horses must 'do something' and have a 'job' or they get rid, whereas I got a horse again because I had missed it for the 12 years I had to give it up for and always knew I would have a horse again. The horse I picked was difficult, needing lot's of re-schooling, had issues over everything except eating and was a strong and bolshy Welshie who knew his strength...to boot!!!
Many people thought I was mad for perservering with such a troublesome character but we have come through and have 'understanding' for each other...but underneath all this I loved him...he was and always will be part of the family...I am very attached and this saw me through because I knew he would have a terrible life pushed from pillar to post if I did not see it through. I never thought of selling even when he ditched me and had me in tears!
My horse is purely for pleasure, I have no grand aims to compete and prove things to others...I do what I want with my horse so we both have enjoyment. Not everyone see's it like this but you have to be happy with your horse and feel you work together aswell as he/she fitting the bill for the activities you wish to do.
 
I had Amy for 13 years - and boy was she difficult for the first 5!!!! Should have sold her and got something that was more pleasant to be around.

But she filled my heart with joy (sentimental clap trap I know), and the thought of being without her was unbearable.

I actually put her out on loan for two weeks - and then had to phone them up and ask for her back. Life was miserable without her.

That was a turning point for me. Accept her as she was (and stop winning about what was wrong) or sell her. I chose the former.

She was a wonderful hunter,
Moved like a dream,
Could open any gate you asked,
Loaded on her own,
Loved me,
Was nappy,
Grumpy
Aggressive with other horses
Downright wilfull!

I miss her every day.

With Thumper its' different. I'm wildley ambitious about what we can do together. Realistically won't do half of it because I'm a numpty. But love him because he is just sheer class!
 
I went through this with Fleur, I loved her but we did not click when ridden. She too was difficult, even with professionals.

Cut a long story short, she is now a broodmare and producing amazing foals, I have Chancer my gypsy cob youngster who I adore and we get on so well.

If you can find the right home for him, then sell him on and get something you can live with.

Riding should be a pleasure and not a chore. Having been at a show recently watching a beautiful WB throwing itself everywhere, I was so pleased to go back to my little horse that stood quietly beside me and rarely gives me any trouble and lots of fun.
 
I swapped my big, nappy WB for a little Highland pony and it was the best thing I ever did. She is not flashy and no-one (except other Highland owners) ever compliments me on her like they used to when I rode my WB but I don't give a fig because I am having much more fun with her than I ever did with my WB.
 
Blimey, we pay a small fortune for what is supposed to be fun, if you think you could have more fun with something else then find him a home and go for it.
 
it sounds like you are in a difficult situation.. while you say you have put so much into your boy it sounds like you are not getting alot out of it... at the end of the day the vast majority of us have horses to make us happy, whether it be out competing or hacking round the countryside.. yes there are stories of people who have over come the odds and other peoples opinions to have a wonderful relationship with a horse that was difficult to begin with but it is not always the case sadly.
you put so much time, effort and money into owning a horse why should you not be able to go out and enjoy yourself at a show if that is what you want to do.? it sounds like Ryu would do well in another home more suited to his style of going and temperament so why not give him the opportunity.? if you are not enjoying taking him out anymore then he will sense this and over time it could damage your relationship..
I would consider finding him a new home and finding yourself something that is more suited to your style of riding, so you can go out and enjoy yourself.!
 
Amymay your horse looks just like my friends horse, have to say hes a handsome big boy!!! Im not one for the finer horses but he looks so lovely!!
 
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Amymay your horse looks just like my friends horse, have to say hes a handsome big boy!!! Im not one for the finer horses but he looks so lovely!!

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Thank you. He's actually quite a lump, especially now that he has some top line.
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I had a lovely ISH type last year, couldnt fault him or anything about him. I spent loads of time and money on him, fixing various health probs he had and hoping that as each thing was fixed we would 'click' and it never happened. It got to the point where i didnt enjoy riding him and when a girl on my yard offered to ride him for me I was happy to let her - they eventually bought him off me as I realised I didn't miss not having him to myself. I'm still glad i sold him, keeping him and having a constant battle with him was no fun.

However i also have a TB gelding - him and I dont click at times, he is nappy, I get nervous. At the moment I have given up on shows and stuff and have enlisted help to get him and I going - however with him selling isnt an option as I would hate not to have him about. However I do have another horse who I ride most of the time so the gelding isnt my only horse which I feels relieves the situation somewhat. If he was my only horse and we had the same problems then i think I would feel a whole lot worse about the situation.

However the mare I have is perfect, I bought her when i sold the ISH, I never thought I'd find a horse that I get on with soooo well, she is only 4 but has given me my confidence back in just about everything, we are even going to shows and enjoying ourselves instead of the battles the other two ahve given me..!

Anyway, I am waffling - personally I'd say that if you don't enjoy it and feel frustrated then look into your options, maybe loan him out and see if you can live without him and take it from there. Theres no point spending all the money and all the time if you start to not enjoy it.
 
Horses are supposed to be fun - I have a thug at home but he is amazing under saddle so you put up with him being a thug because though he is a pain I lost no pleasure in riding him. If you are stressing about it all then find another horse.

Horses for me are a hobby - I work too hard to worry about whether after 3/4 weeks holiday they are going to buck me off when i start working them again and whether they are going to be difficult to handle. My horses have to fit around my life and do what I want them to do. A horse can be totally talented but if they have not got the right attitude they will not go very far.
 
Thank you for all the replies, Amymay I found yours particulary relevant its seems I have reached a similar point, accept Ryu for how he is and our mismatch or sell. We've had allot to deal with over the summer moving yard, which actually went swimmingly and ultimately if me anfd OH get our visa next year we'll be emigrating and Ryu would be sold anyway, realistically even with the most perfect talented horse 6 months or so is a short time to pick a new one up and even if it was a worldbeater financially and my time comitments mean I'll be out competing a similar amount that I am now. If we were staying the the uk and I was keeping Ryu forever perhaps it would be more sensible, to sell him to a rider that complimented him more and could push his buttons.

I think I will persevere we have the winter and good facilities to school, I enjoyed the showjumping we did recently despite the drama and nothing awful happended.

The thing is I fell off on Saturday out hacking,Ryu over reached pulled a shoe and I got ejected out the side door, it was an accident, but with these ideas and some seeds planted by the little mares rider I feel a bit down about him and I suppose I felt the grass was greener.
 
Difficult one....I've done pretty much that same thing. Had my Welsh D for 3.5 years and had a realisation one day that he just wasn't what I wanted anymore. Had years of fun on him but he couldn't/wouldn't do what I wanted to do, didn't like the competition environment particularly, and I was finding it a chore to do anything with him. I had a couple of lessons on other horses and realised that he would be better off with someone who wanted to do less. So, I put him out on loan to a lovely family who just do what he wants to do, and I have another horse on loan who's much more what I want. Best decision I ever made.

It is hard to let them go because you get attached but I'm happy as long as I know my boy is safe and well, and I can now get on with having fun with my new girl.

I can't give advice as to what I would do, just telling you what I did in your situation, because it's something you have to realise and decide for yourself.
 
I had a similar situation with my loan horse - I got him nearly a year ago and we basically never really clicked - he is not a bad horse - but just felt so wrong for me - to the point that i just didn't want to ride him (think that particular episode was linked to me falling off on a hack on the road - something that has never ever happened to me before in my 25 years of riding!)...

But I hadn't thought of not persevering with him, oddly, So - when I was offered him to buy by the owner - I panicked... but then after much thought made the decision not to buy and for him to be sold to someone else - it was such a relief...

i feel so much better about riding since making the decision...

Obviously you need to do what is best for you - but sounds like it might be worth moving him on
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I've been in your situation for 7 years. Bought my girl as a yearling and from the start she was a challenge!! I perservered because like you i was attached to my "baby" and she has thrown an awful lot at me including two hospital trips and numerous amount of bills for vets, physios etc. I just couldn't give up and even when things have been really bad i just never had it in my to get rid of her and make her someone else's problem. Yes they're supposed to be fun and she has runined my dreams, but they were my dreams not hers! Anyway to cut an extremely long story short i haven't ridden for quite a few months and she lives out now and is basically retired at age 8. I will move on at some point and ride again but she has taught me more over the last 7 years than i would have learnt if i had just got rid of her.
 
Fantasia, your point struck a chord if I hadn't have been through what I have with Ryu, I would never have dreamed of getting on that mare never mind consider buying her, although I don't get a perfect tune from him as I rider I have progressed such allot.
 
I often wonder what would have happened if i had got rid of her and bought something easier and more enjoyable. I certainly wouldn't be the rider i am now and would know a lot less about horse's personalitys and problems.
Unfortunately it is now suspected that my girl has some sort of brain condition (see my post from yesterday) so i am just so glad i didn't let her go to someone else who would not have understood her behaviour.
 
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often wonder what would have happened if i had got rid of her and bought something easier and more enjoyable. I certainly wouldn't be the rider i am now and would know a lot less about horse's personalitys and problems.


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Ditto. It's the challenges that make us better at what we do (hopefully)...

Interestingly when I bought Amy someone asked me why I didn't go for a School Master type. Well a School Master may have taught me the finer points about riding - but not the finer points of thinking around corners, dealing with difficult horses, etc. etc.

I now have my School Master, and am able to enjoy all he can offer me and more.
 
My first pony I know I had for too long, but I was too attached to her. She terrified my by the end (although I never admitted it until afterwards) and I was like you - nothing happened but I was always worried it would. Eventually I gave in to my YO's advice and sold her, and bought Maiden. I now have SO SO much more confidence, I only rode Maiden for eight months and she gave me everything back that I used to have. She isn't particularly talented and isn't particularly capable, but she tries her heart out and I love her to bits. I know now that I can't keep her for myself as I really want to compete in dressage and to jump (even to hunt) but due to Maiden's tendon injury she'll only be able to hack again. There's no way I'd sell her, I want to be able to keep a foot in the door and to ensure as best I can that she won't be jumped again, so I'm looking at loaning her next year, possibly to an RDA group or similar.
It's a very difficult decision to make, but it's an important decision and one that can't be ignored. If you are just going to lose your confidence with Ryu then maybe it's time to call it a day, but I gave my pony one last chance over our last winter together and put all I could into it. We definately improved together but just not enough and it made my decision easier.
 
What a lovely looking horse!- I think you really should try and persevere with the horse and do whatever you want to do with it. I know it's hard but try not to worry about things as horses will pick up on this!!. It could be as well that he is going through his 'teenage' spell and needs to know what is right and wrong! it can sometime take until a horse is 8 to be grown up and mature!.

Maybe your trainer can ride your horse every session just to keep him in check so you find him a bit easier to ride?, and maybe they can explain what they are doing and why so that you can do the same. Each horse is an individual and so needs to be ridden as such.

I really do think that all the effort you're putting in will be worth it in the end and it will be a cracking horse esp for dressage. I empathise with you though but my advice would be to take your time/get a really good trainer/riders help and don't rush him!! .- if you take him to shows maybe you could take a trainer or friend with you for support?.

If a horse doesn't behave how I want it to then I will just change my approach. Def persevere!!

I do agree though that horses are supposed to fun!-esp when its a hobby. And I wouldn't worry that you are a quiet rider- thats a good thing generally!.
 
Its funny, my arab's old owner came to visit the other day (had him 4.5 years now) and we were talking about exactly this. THey came to watch us do a XC competition. She was saying that prior to having him, she had a mad ex-racer who used to do dreadful things like rear in the road, bolt, all sorts, yet it never worried her, whereas J she just couldn't get to grips with and he frightened her. Now he would NEVER do anything like that, he is sharp and clever, but never been anything approaching dangerous, and even she said she knew that at the time, just somehow couldn't get on with him to ride. She had him from 6 months to 7 years, so she certainly persevered!
I had a similar experience. Bought a horse at 15 (clueless!), a 5 year old imported WB mare. She was (still is) a lovely girl, but maaaan, did she have ISSUES!! I have been bucked off, bolted with, stood on, and had thousands upon thousands of pounds worth of vets bills - turned out she had rubbish joints!
However, eventually I got to grips with her, and 10 years later she is an absolute darling. Like Fantasia above, she has taught me masses, and equipped me to deal with anything J would ever do, and much more, as he has never actually tried to get me off or anything, he just 'tiggers' about on the spot.
So I've been lucky in that my not ideal purchase has taught me enough to be well matched with my wonderhorse - who equally, not everyone would like!
I do think its like people finding their human partners - trial and error a bit, and jkust because a horse seems right on papaer/initially, it might not work out.
So, after a lot of waffle, what I mean is that if Ryu isn't the right horse for you, he might be better off with someone else and you might get more enjoyment from a different horse? Only you really know if you could live without him tho!
 
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