why HHO has ruined my life, by BaileyPony.

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sophiebailey

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Dear Hoomans,

A few days ago my mum posted a picture of me looking mighty fine on your forum.



Rather than encouraging my mum to love me and love my curves, you told her I was a big fat porker and needed to go on a DIET!! :mad::mad:

So that night my mum tried to pull a fast one on me. She left me in the bare paddock and put my bessie mate Ambrose in the really good paddock with all the grass. At first I thought it was a joke but then when she went home I realised she really was going to leave me here to watch Ambrose eat all that grass. :mad::mad: So I decided to SHOW HER! :D:D I jumped over the 3ft hedge (which, may I add, was soooo easy) into our neighbours back garden and helped to mow their juicy juicy lawn. They looked very angry to see me looking through their patio doors though :( so mum came and put me back in the ACE paddock with Ambrose, SUCCESS!!! :D:D

I thought I had won, but two days later mum came back with hannibal lecters mask. I thought, I've never eaten a hooman so surely that can't be for me. To my horror, I was mistaken.



Now I can only fit stupid tiny weeny bits of grass through a stupid tiny weeny hole in this stupid ugly muzzle and I AM SO HUNGRY AND STARVING! PLEASE CALL THE RSPCA!! I AM SO MALNOURISHED! :mad::mad:

No amount of whacking my head off the fence will remove this stupid muzzle. And to top it all off, I heard mum telling other mum that she's buying more zappy zappy fencing to make me a FATTY STRIP!! away from Ambrose! What's a cob to do :(:(

Now some lady comes to ride me and she makes me walk lots of fast walks and it feels like hard work,



and she doesn't let me do fast canters in my favourite fast canter field :( :( I have to do boring slow canters :mad::mad:

So I would like to thank you all personally for ruining my life.

Sincerely,

Bailey. :mad:
 
But Bailey, imagine how much more the ladies will fancy you with a six pack (and your pretty faciable now!)
 
that last pic.... its his 'youve killed me' look!!!!

i think its the 3 straight legs that does it!!!!
 
Poor Bailey, quick, call the RSPCA now!! What's the shoe situation? They may be in the balance if your being given a life overhaul ;). Hang in there, just think how much hedge jumping you can do minus a few pounds :)
 
sophiebailey said:
Dear Hoomans,

And to top it all off, I heard mum telling other mum that she's buying more zappy zappy fencing to make me a FATTY STRIP!! away from Ambrose! What's a cob to do :(:(

Sincerely,

Bailey. :mad:
Click to expand...

I'm going to PM Shilasdair, she'll know what to do. She has a set of Shill's Skills, and will be your consultant and mediator. Whilst hardly "Fine", I think that you're a very fine coblet-man, and I think that the way that you're being treated is shocking (as in zappy-zappy), and all them wot said your fat? OH YEAH, REALLY? Some of them aren't Slim-Jims, either. :eek: Just look at the arses on them..... kettle and pot springs to mind! Are they starving themselves and depriving themselves of their entitlements and mates, are they ***gery?

You are indeed a handsome man, you're not fat, you're just "very well", like them hoomans ;). Fear not, what we need is a proper campaign, and if I could be bothered, I'd manage it for you ;).

I remain, yours in uphauldness, Alec.
 
oh Bailey Pony- I love this. :D

Im considering ruining my own horses life at the moment, I believe his tummy is expanding slightly too quickly also!
 
Dear Bailey. I know how you feel mate! This time last year I was knee deep in the green stuff and happy as a pig in poo. Then my mum moved us to RESTRICTED GRAZING!!!! Argghhhh!!! After months of barely a morsel passing my lips I have hips! And ribs!! And it is much easier ti gallop really fast
 
Silly phone!! Plus the lush Arab next door is chatting ne up over the fence! Yum :) but I still yearn for grass.....and pony nuts. Sigh! Love Blaze xxxx
 
Oh Bailey, I empathise. Our Mum keeps putting us in a stable during the day and has gotvus those horrible Hannibal Lecter things to sto us getting all the yummy grass. AND we don't ever get Proper food either -you know, the stuff with the molasses. Honestly. She keeps measuring our gorgeous curves too. We think Plus Size is the way to go but apparently she disagrees ....
Maybe we should start a support group for underfed ponies and cobs? We could petition.
Yours, two little curvaceous Welshies.
 
Well Bailey I do sympathise but secretly whisper that your Mum while being cruel is a complete star who loves you enough to be tough and firm! You know you love it really.....:-))))

Baileys Mum it will be so nice soon when you look at your boy and don't even need to think ooh is he too fat or not cos you will know he's just perfect :-))) good for you!
 
Thank you fellow hoomans and horsiez for your support at this terrible time. I am glad I am not the only one who thinks mum is a horrible moo. When she decides to get her fat bum in the saddle tonight she better watch out, I might do some of my special sideways trot that she hates to show her how angry I am.

My RSPCA horse eyes must have worked coz I got my mask taken off, but then I got put back into the field i've already eaten!!! :mad::mad: what's the point in that?! Ambrose is laughing at me over the fence with his perfectly toned buttocks pointing at me as he munches all of the LONNNNNNNNNG JUICY GRASS! I bit him on the nose, its not kind to bully me about my weight!!

Mum's gone to work now so I reckon if I leave it a while and then get a good run up, I could maybe jump over the zappy tape and go and beat up Ambrose for laughing at me, then eat his grass :cool::cool::cool::cool:

OldNag said:
Oh Bailey, I empathise. Our Mum keeps putting us in a stable during the day and has gotvus those horrible Hannibal Lecter things to sto us getting all the yummy grass. AND we don't ever get Proper food either -you know, the stuff with the molasses. Honestly. She keeps measuring our gorgeous curves too. We think Plus Size is the way to go but apparently she disagrees ....
Maybe we should start a support group for underfed ponies and cobs? We could petition.
Yours, two little curvaceous Welshies.
Click to expand...

Hello sexy welshies :cool: I too cannot remember the last time I had nom nom molasses food!! I only get the horrible diet stuff from horsiez weight watchers or something. Tastes yack. I would like to join this support group as I feel I might not be able to cope with this mental torment any longer. :(
 
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