Why is it so hard to find a mother daughter share?!

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Mambo83

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I’ve always looked at horsey ads and always been a bit sad that I find something I like but not been in a position to do anything about it until I fast forward to now. Been searching for a mother daughter share for months and it’s just getting me down. I am finally in a position where I have the money, the time and the stable for one and I haven’t been able to find anything.

I have viewed what feels like hundreds. And I’ve travelled miles and spent so much time - and money on vettings and just no luck.

I have a healthy budget and I am in a relatively horsey part of the uk and there just doesn’t seem anything for sale around.

I’m not looking for anything that’s going to set the world on fire, just an all rounder mother daughter share. Standard requirements, good in open spaces, forward but sane and sensible, good to handle etc.

We can offer such a beautiful home. I’ve had sellers blatantly lie about something, sellers bending the truth, a seller who allowed me to pay for a vetting knowing full well she wouldn’t pass. I’ve also had someone advertise a pony that had done xyz, but was rather dishonest and he was actually very green.

I’m feeling quite miserable by it all and I’m feeling terrible that my daughter is coming along to all these viewings and getting her hopes up, only to be disappointed as well.

If you have any words of wisdom I’d love to hear them 😢
 
I suppose you are looking for what everyone one wants, and it can be ridden buy an adult there is no reason to sell perfect mount. My friend and I both had one that anyone can ride, if most of the aggravation is finding the perfect partner why would you sell it? It would be very difficult to replace at any money.
I would for something that failed in perhaps the job it was bought for, one of ours had done county showing but was down the line so the pro sold it.
 
Sprout said:
I know exactly what you mean … hours in the car, blatant lies, endless frustration and disappointment.
Have you chatted to any freelance instructors, who know many owners/horses, and often hear about horses about to be sold, so you can potentially be first to view before ads go out?
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It’s just soul destroying. Some sellers have been nice and have even been highly recommended but they have still told some fibs. It makes me not trust my judgement. I don’t really know many instructors. But I am in a riding club and I’ve spoken to the lady that runs that. All horsey friends I know, granted not many, are aware too.
 
For the second time this week I'm going to refer you to the equine buying agency Exclusivia (Google it) simply because I purchased the most beautiful and suitable horse for myself through this means in May. Absolutely no connection, just couldn’t face the hassle of the search that you're describing. I'd not hesitate to go down this route again for a fail safe and straightforward purchase. The horse I bought through this agency was not on the open market. There's no way I would have found her.
 
I think you should perhaps share your criteria and budget. So often I see wanted ads up for months and months and either the budget, despite being sizeable, isn’t sufficient for what they want or their criteria are too narrow.

You could also put up wanted ads of your own on Fb and selling sites, contact sales liveries to ask them to let you know if they get anything in, that sort of thing.
 
maya2008 said:
I think you should perhaps share your criteria and budget. So often I see wanted ads up for months and months and either the budget, despite being sizeable, isn’t sufficient for what they want or their criteria are too narrow.

You could also put up wanted ads of your own on Fb and selling sites, contact sales liveries to ask them to let you know if they get anything in, that sort of thing.
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Hi I have contacted sales liveries, but nothing in at the moment. I have kept their numbers and text them every couple of weeks. So many though seem to have youngsters and I don’t like young but just not 4/5.

My budget is 7k and I just want a general low level all rounder. Good in open spaces, to handle etc. we are non competitive.
 
I suspect your budget will be what is limiting your success- 7k is not a lot for a good citizen who does everything with no fuss.
People just don’t sell this kind of horse as they’re what most people want/need
Therefore you either have to have the skill to make it yourself (younger horse, ex racehorse, not very exposed etc) or pay the price for someone else’s careful production
 
Mambo83 said:
Hi I have contacted sales liveries, but nothing in at the moment. I have kept their numbers and text them every couple of weeks. So many though seem to have youngsters and I don’t like young but just not 4/5.

My budget is 7k and I just want a general low level all rounder. Good in open spaces, to handle etc. we are non competitive.
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So, assuming you are looking for over 15.2hh, not a TB, not too old or too young (6-12 age?), perfect in all ways, schooled enough to do a small course nicely and a basic schooling session/prelim dressage…your budget is the issue. Anything that is a sweet and easy horse for a non competitive home with a child/teen involved will be more than that.

I would suggest doing a bit of advert stalking and looking at how much the ones that would fit the bill are going for. Then saving up a little more than that and looking again.

Slightly cheaper horses that fit the bill are often older, or at least part cob, or smaller. But even finding a pony in your budget that is always safe and sweet might be a push.

When we lost my husband’s 15hh saintly gelding, I could neither find nor afford a replacement. We have two youngsters in the field growing up, in the hope that one of them will do the job. Safe and sweet costs a premium in whatever size, and in big enough for an adult people just don’t sell them on.
 
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I spent 6 months, hours of time and 1000's miles trying horses before buying mine. I was happy to take a just backed 4yo as long as they could walk / trot / canter without decking me. I did some trips which were 5-6 hours of driving round trip and had a much bigger budget than you. I still had a vet failure, a refusal to allow xrays (5 figure purchase price) and several which were lame, very weak or poor conformation.

It's a funny time in the middle of winter, I was looking at this time last year. There are fewer buyers but also fewer horses going up for sale. You will have more options if you can increase your budget which is low for what you are looking for, it's what the majority of leisure riders want.
 
TheMule said:
I suspect your budget will be what is limiting your success- 7k is not a lot for a good citizen who does everything with no fuss.
People just don’t sell this kind of horse as they’re what most people want/need
Therefore you either have to have the skill to make it yourself (younger horse, ex racehorse, not very exposed etc) or pay the price for someone else’s careful production
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Or the other option is getting something considerably older. I was after something like what OP wants - suitable for adult, sensible hack, nice character, not competitive, didn’t need to jump or be well schooled - and got a lovely ID mare for £4k last year, but she was 16. She suited me grand and I love her to bits, but like you say she wouldn’t be as desirable because of age so that brought the price down.
 
I’ll be looking for a very similar horse in the spring once I decide what to do with beloved coblet who sadly isn’t standing up to ridden work after his surgery and all the rehab. So I’m going to be looking for something bigger at 15.2+ to share with my taller teenage daughter. Been tentatively looking and keeping an eye on the market and already am very conscious that what we need isn’t available for our 5k budget. Need a big lottery win!
 
These types have always been the most sought after and it seems are now even harder to find. Why? Is it because over the last decade the market has fluctuated so much and there has been so much over breeding that we now have a glut of ridden ponies for sale that have been poorly bred, poorly started and produced by complete amateurs who have cut corners to make a profit. The genuine 10 year old, been in the same home for 5 years, got all the tshirts and will pass a vetting just aren't out there any more and if they are they go by word of mouth.
 
Totally genuine mother/daughter share horses with no health issues or vices are few and far between and therefore don’t often come up for sale. I’ve had two and would never have chosen to sell either unless there was a change in my circumstances. If I had needed to sell, I would pretty much have been able to name my price and buyers would have been queuing up. The old boy is now semi-retired, but still healthy and sound and enjoys light hacking. The 11 year old is now mainly ridden by me as daughter is at uni, but she can jump on and take him eventing or show jumping when she is home. I’ve had silly offers for him (he’s not for sale!!)
 
In your shoes, I’d make a list of the critical criteria and the ‘nice to haves’. Mother / daughter share can mean an awful lot and not much at the same time. What does the horse really need to do? Is it a child’s pony that you can also ride or is it a horse for you to ride that your daughter could ride too? Is your daughter 5, 15 or 25… what is their trajectory and riding development going to look like over the next few years? Are there things you can compromise on to get a ‘better’ horse within your budget where it isn’t the finished article but you could train or have it trained?

If there are things that you could produce in a horse yourself, and it doesn’t need to be totally ready-made, you could reduce the budget substantially.

As context, I have a 14.3hh 8yo low-mileage part Arab mare with established flat-work, no jumping experience and no competition experience. I had an offer of £12k, (unsolicited, she’s not for sale) for her last year. She’s basically a nice hack with some schooling on the flat if I’m brutal about it. But she’s sweet and relatively safe (for a spirited araby horse) and that is why they wanted her.

She’d make a lovely mother/ daughter share for a non-jumping home, with some targeted schooling and producing. But schooling would add to her value.
 
Mambo83 said:
Hi I have contacted sales liveries, but nothing in at the moment. I have kept their numbers and text them every couple of weeks. So many though seem to have youngsters and I don’t like young but just not 4/5.

My budget is 7k and I just want a general low level all rounder. Good in open spaces, to handle etc. we are non competitive.
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I’m sorry to tell you that you are unlikely to find what you want in the magic 7-14 age bracket. You will get green or older
 
Have a look at Preloved ads, and delete all the adjectives in the blurb. Some nice cobs come up from time to time, and if you are prepared to look at an older steady eddie, you may be lucky. Any prospective seller should be questioning you on your level of care and knowledge, and might be prepared to offer a trial before committing.
 
Thank you all for your comments. My brain has been well and truly frazzled. I’m not actually against getting something older and have messaged someone about a 17 year old horse who does sound perfect and could be just who we are looking for.
 
webble said:
doesn't stand to mount which was why I ruled him out
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Fine if it is a physical issue, pain etc but of it is behavioural, I taught my lesson horse to stand (unheld) for me to mount her. The most important moment in my learning to ride as an elderly novice was when I discovered one could teach the horse to do things - that was probably from reading Kelly Marks.

But my mounting teaching the mare to stand and let me mount on my own has to be put in context. I had already led the horse may be 400 metres from the yard to the school and this route was partly on a road used by cars. Leading her and making the turns was the equivalent of my doing ground work. So the horse first learned to be led by me and then learned to stand at the mounting block for me to mount her.
 
cauda equina said:
The not standing to mount could be something as simple as a poorly fitting saddle
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It could be, or could be that the horse has never been taught. Alternatively it could be something serious.

I went to view one which couldn't be mounted from a mounting block - had been vaulted onto over in Ireland. I can't vault and was given a leg up, the horse went crazy and ditched me in seconds. It then ran off and stood in a corner shaking so I doubt it was just training.

This horse has been on the market for a good while based on the ref no. of the advert. I doubt a nice looking, competitively priced horse which is very well schooled and claims to have no health issues would be hanging around for months if there's not something else other than a mounting block issue. Being sold at a sales livery / by a mate also makes it difficult to get information as they just say not to my knowledge and won't give you the owners contact details.
 
Mambo83 said:
Thank you all for your comments. My brain has been well and truly frazzled. I’m not actually against getting something older and have messaged someone about a 17 year old horse who does sound perfect and could be just who we are looking for.
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Best of luck with your search. For what it’s worth, your budget and type of horse were exactly what I was after too. I ended up buying a horse who is older than I initially wanted, and he’s an absolute star. I’ve had him for a couple of months now and so far, he’s not put a hoof wrong.
 
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