Why share/loan?

[littletrotter]

I'm currently riding at a riding school once a week. The school generally puts you on the same horse each week (or at least, there's only one rider in my class that gets a different one each week and she was described as "fussy" in my earshot so i assume she's asking for a change each time). So each week i turn up, ride, untack and rug up the same boy (yes, it's fatal, i bloody kissed him goodbye last week! ).

Going forward my plan was to have lessons through the winter and then hack out through the summer. But a friend (with 3 of her own but too far away for me to ride with) recently said to me, "oh are you going to buy or just share?" as if that was the natural progression.

Why do people want to share? I pay £25/hour for my lessons and hacking would cost similar. Most of the shares i see are in that ball park per week and though i know i could probably ride 3x a week rather than once, my lifestyle wouldn't actually fit that in anyway. I'm a stay at home parent but also a carer as 2 of my 3 kids have special needs. My eldest just started riding too, but she's only 9 and i'm 5'10" and not skinny so it's not as if we'd find a horse to share easily if we decided to loan/buy. I feel if only one of us could get a horse it should be her of course (i'm not considering that at this time!).

I really am enjoying riding again, and more than that, being able to take my "mum" hat off for a couple of hours a week (because it's hard to worry about the kids appointments etc. and ride at the same time) but i think if i shared or loaned or bought the horse would just get added to the already-endless list of "stuff i need to do/worry about" and not be fun at all. Added to this i wouldn't want to keep a horse at the yard our lessons are at, but there isn't much closer and certainly nowhere near me that i could livery at. The livery nearby that is similar or lower in cost doesn't have facilities, some are just 24/7 turnout, some have stabling but no school and the hacking all around me is hock deep mud just now unless you want to do a lot of road work.

In terms of my ambitions i am enjoying getting back into it, and jumping, but i've no particular interest in competing beyond a bit of chase-me-charlie at the end of a lesson, and i mostly enjoy hacking out and just the time with the horses. I think i like untacking as much as jumping for the wee bit of quiet time with the horse. They are therapy.

So, can anyone tell me what i'm missing out on by not sharing/loaning/buying, ever since this friend said this i've been turning it over in my mind...

 

[Theocat]

Quite honestly, in your position you are best just to stick to lessons. Even a share can feel like a tie if you have a lot of other commitments. For me the next step in the natural progression would be arriving an hour or two early to help out around the yard with any jobs that need doing, and it will grow from there if you want it to and can fit it in!

Rather than a share, why not treat yourself occasionally to two rides a week,to test the time element? I'd also think about occasionally schoolmaster or private / lunge lessons. Enjoy the riding for now - you can always look for a share if and when you sound ready, but to be honest it doesn't sound quite the right fit for you at the moment!

Remember if you share you'd probably still want / need lessons, so straight away you're looking at maybe £50 per week if you had one a week - so you can test the water by having extra lessons but keep the flexibility you need with everything else you have going on.

 

[Leo Walker]

Your missing out on having a relationship with your own horse. Its very different to what you get with a riding school horse, no matter how much attention you give them after your lesson, your still just one of the masses to them. Whereas my boy knows the sound of our car and recognises my foot steps etc. I know him inside out and can usually tell by looking at him if theres something not right. I can go up whenever I want, stick his tack on and go off exploring just me and him, I cant really ride at the minute, but its not the end of the world. I keep him because I like him and like having him around

Doesnt mean you have to own/loan/share a horse. In your specific set of circumstances I think lessons work better for you right now anyway

 

[Equi]

I only started back at lessons this year. i had such a bad experience loaning last year and my nerves were so low that i quit horses but it only lasted three months. Anywho, after a few lessons, the horse i rode was sold, and i was literally heartbroken but the new horse was even better tbh haha and i had a ball on her, but she too was then sold and was not replaced, and because im 5'9 and also a bigger lady i could not do lessons on the 14-15hand cobs that made up the rest of the schools herd. I posted online asking where to do lessons and my friend messaged me saying she had literally just gotten a horse and that she thinks he would be absolutely perfect for me to ride, he was safe and sensible and huge. Ticks all my boxes.

I now do him twice a week, usually more, and i do holiday cover (have been blissfully doing him for a week now and have another week left). She has another horse, so we are able to hack and are planning a few social rides. I've never been out in a group before (private lessons..only had a trek in a group so a walk on a cob lol) so im very excited. Also never been on a yard before, and im actually loving it. Might have my next owned horse on livery!

She wanted someone to ride and help fitten him and give her time off in the week (i also do her horse when im there) so she doesn't charge me. Im totally in love with him and think the universe had this in mind for me. I know he also is only available until July, but after that might be able to buy. So who knows what the future will bring, all i know is i'm loving life at the moment and excited about horses and new experiences again

 

[SO1]

Riding at a RS can be a lot of fun without the responsibility and costs of owning a horse.

There are lots of reasons why people like to share/loan/own varying from wanting to compete to having their own special horse friend that they can build a bond with a see on a regular basis.

 

[shadeofshyness]

It doesn't sound like you'd need to share/loan at this point.

People tend to hit a wall at a riding school at some point - where you stop progressing and want to ride a horse that isn't a riding school type. 'Private' horses are very different and sharing/loaning gives you the experience of this and you end up learning a whole new set of skills. That's on top of the bond you get with them.

But lessons at a riding school for a good few years should form a solid basis before you move on, so there's nothing wrong at all with sticking to a school for now, especially when it fits in with the rest of your life so well!

 

[littletrotter]

Your missing out on having a relationship with your own horse. Its very different to what you get with a riding school horse, no matter how much attention you give them after your lesson, your still just one of the masses to them. Whereas my boy knows the sound of our car and recognises my foot steps etc. I know him inside out and can usually tell by looking at him if theres something not right. I can go up whenever I want, stick his tack on and go off exploring just me and him, I cant really ride at the minute, but its not the end of the world. I keep him because I like him and like having him around

Doesnt mean you have to own/loan/share a horse. In your specific set of circumstances I think lessons work better for you right now anyway

I should have said - as a teen i did have a loan/share type arrangement. A friend's relative had a group of ponies that the friend and I and another girl all "did". The owner kept an eye on them, but they were ours to do with as we pleased. So i know what it's like to have that relationship with a horse - i ended up riding a stallion and if i called a certain word from the fence he would come squealing and cantering down the field to me, he didn't have that bond with anyone else.

I think the bit in your post that i bolded is what's putting me off. THere is relentlessly something "not right" with someone i have responsibility for at home already. My eldest has ADHD and Asperger's (see my RDA--sort of thread about reins), my youngest is nearly 3 and has autism and a severe language delay - he just had a 90 minute meltdown because on the way home from the school run i put him back in his pram because he ran away from me and into the road. We're getting a dog next year, something which we have been planning for 18 months and which i am very much looking forward to and am excited about. All the additional care, especially of a puppy, are slightly off-putting BUT the dog can live in my actual house, i won't have to drive to get to it, won't have to hose it in the murky afternoons because it caught itself on a fence, i won't have to poo pick in a freezing field (or i will but only one poo at a time! ) or get up at the bumcrack of dawn to bring it in or put it out. I can train it in my living room and it can come with me on the 4.5 miles a day i ALREADY walk every day.

I actually think if we lived somewhere where there was land handy that i could hire to graze on and space to stable in my garden (outbuilding/room for a small stable block) i WOULD be much more likely to want my own. But as things stand i just like going up to the RS and being handed a fed, clean, clipped, schooled horse to ride for a bit, then afterwards getting to have a scratch and a cuddle and a few mints to say thanks and then ******ing off home again without a care!

I only started back at lessons this year. i had such a bad experience loaning last year and my nerves were so low that i quit horses but it only lasted three months. Anywho, after a few lessons, the horse i rode was sold, and i was literally heartbroken but the new horse was even better tbh haha and i had a ball on her, but she too was then sold and was not replaced, and because im 5'9 and also a bigger lady i could not do lessons on the 14-15hand cobs that made up the rest of the schools herd. I posted online asking where to do lessons and my friend messaged me saying she had literally just gotten a horse and that she thinks he would be absolutely perfect for me to ride, he was safe and sensible and huge. Ticks all my boxes.

I now do him twice a week, usually more, and i do holiday cover (have been blissfully doing him for a week now and have another week left). She has another horse, so we are able to hack and are planning a few social rides. I've never been out in a group before (private lessons..only had a trek in a group so a walk on a cob lol) so im very excited. Also never been on a yard before, and im actually loving it. Might have my next owned horse on livery!

She wanted someone to ride and help fitten him and give her time off in the week (i also do her horse when im there) so she doesn't charge me. Im totally in love with him and think the universe had this in mind for me. I know he also is only available until July, but after that might be able to buy. So who knows what the future will bring, all i know is i'm loving life at the moment and excited about horses and new experiences again

He's lovely i can see why you're smitten. I wonder if this is what will happen with me - quite organically i will meet someone who needs someone to ride their beast for a bit and it'll grow from there. And that won't happen until i have the space in my life to do it anyway.

Riding at a RS can be a lot of fun without the responsibility and costs of owning a horse.

There are lots of reasons why people like to share/loan/own varying from wanting to compete to having their own special horse friend that they can build a bond with a see on a regular basis.

Yes, i think that's the thing - no responsibility! I use my carer's allowance to pay for the riding and £25/pw with the odd additional bit for a lunge lesson etc. is very manageable.

I actually think the comment has come from a lack of understanding of what my life is actually like. I'm very good at smiling and getting on with it, even if at breaking point. Thanks for the input all, i'm feeling more like i am right, this is plenty of horses for me just now.