Why won't anyone sell me a horse.

[Lucyy95]

Hi I have been looking for a horse for about 5 months now. Every time I think I have found one people pull out selling. I tried a racehorse rehome place but she made them out to be scary and hard work and then never called me back. I constantly feel like I'm not good enough to own a horse and I just want some tips on actually buying one like what to say?! I have a lovely yard waiting
Thanks X

 

[Mince Pie]

What is your experience?

 

[MargotC]

I just want some tips on actually buying one like what to say?!

Be honest about your abilities on a horse and on the ground, what you need the horse to be like in order to suit you, and what you can provide a horse in your care. Never embellish the truth or say what you THINK the seller wants to hear.

Reschooling a racehorse can entail a fair bit of work as far as I understand and you need to know what you are doing to go down that route even if they might be a "cheaper" option. It is not the same as picking up a regular riding horse.

And as above, depending on your experience a loan might be a good option before venturing into ownership.

 

[Lucyy95]

See the thing is as soon as I told her I had spent some time with racehorses she told me I wouldn't be capable 😡😡 so I said my boyfriend would be only to be told he wouldn't ... he's assistant trainer and was a jockey and I help out with the racehorses and take them racing but that's still not enough! I have ridden ex racers before and had loans and even my own before I just don't know where I'm going wrong

 

[MargotC]

Where do you "go wrong"?

Do they pull out after initial conversation or after trying the horse(s) out?

Do you know what it is exactly you are looking for? Is it an ex racehorse specifically? Do you look within your budget and is the budget realistic?

I would write a list of boxes the horse MUST tick and SHOULD tick and stick to those. Specifications such as type, height, experience, location etc.

Alternatively have you posted a good wanted ad anywhere?

 

[Lucyy95]

I want a TB as soon as I mention my experience. They go funny :/ all the people we have looked at tho have been happy hackers. I don't want to get one off my boyfriends boss because I know he will interfere and make it his haha x

 

[Lucyy95]

I'm only 20 do you think that would put people off? Xx

 

[MargotC]

No, I do not think being 20 is what puts a stop to a purchase. General impression is likely it.

Why are you set on a TB? Is it possible you have gotten too stuck on breed as a requirement?

What is the setup you can provide like? Is it suitable for a TB? You do need to be very honest with yourself.

 

[Amye]

I don't think your age should be putting people off. What questions exactly are you asking when you go view? It may be that you're not asking enough questions? i ask everything, what are you feeding them, what is their routine at the moment, what is their ridden routine at the moment? What are they like with farrier/dentist etc etc. Hacking alone/in company. Any past illness... Good to load? Always asked to view passport. I wrote down a list of things to ask (i mainly left it in the car) and looked at it about 5 mins before a viewing.
Have you asked the person who has turned you down EXACTLY why they thought you weren't suitable? (So you can work on these areas etc). If they just say your experience then that doesn't really tell you alot, is it how you handled them on the ground or when you were ridden? Or maybe something you said about your past or your set up ?
I went and bought a horse last year when i was 24, no one seemed reluctant to sell to me and the ones that I didn't buy, I was the one that walked away. Do you take anyone with you on viewings? I always took someone with me to discuss pros/cons.

 

[ester]

If your boyfriend is an assistant trainer surely he knows of plenty or will do that need to do another job?

 

[Lucyy95]

He said he will get one but it will be a few years till a nice one retires and it will be in his name :/ so I'll just be an unpaid groom!

 

[Lucyy95]

Like maybe I'm having bad luck looking for one. I had one girl tell me she didn't think I would be a suitable home because she saw on my fb profile I was at uni so wouldn't have time (I dropped out) and she called me back saying she would love me to come meet the horse. But it was dog lame so we didn't want it and she then said good I wasn't competent enough :S

 

[be positive]

See the thing is as soon as I told her I had spent some time with racehorses she told me I wouldn't be capable ���� so I said my boyfriend would be only to be told he wouldn't ... he's assistant trainer and was a jockey and I help out with the racehorses and take them racing but that's still not enough! I have ridden ex racers before and had loans and even my own before I just don't know where I'm going wrong

I wonder if people are questioning your motives, the retraining schemes may prefer to place horses outside of the racing industry and away from people with links to it into homes with experience of horses that are not racehorses or exracehorses, so the fact that your boyfriend was a jockey and is involved in racing may be a negative rather than positive, his experience will be of the horses when they are racing and not in retraining them for a career afterwards.

With your connections you should be able to source a retiring horse easily enough, most trainers will have a few horses suitable coming out of training at the end of the season and are more than happy to encourage the owners to let them go to a new home for a token amount or even gifted, there is no reason to expect your boyfriends boss to take it over if he has finished with it there will be nothing in it for him, the horse will have had it's career and be ready to do something else, many are never allowed back into training and their passports are stamped to prevent it.
You will need to put in the work to retrain it and that is where your lack of experience may struggle so be prepared to get some professional, non racing, help.

Otherwise I cannot see why no one will sell you a horse unless you have a limited budget and are only applying for retrained exracehorses from charities in which case you may have to adjust your criteria or up your budget so you can buy from private homes at market price.

 

[Lucyy95]

Here is my situation. Loaned and had own in past. Ridden for endurance riders and studs. Got refrences from racehorse trainers and past loan homes. So I like to think I have experience. As a person I have anxiety so when I have been to look at a horse mum and boyfriend come too. Boyfriend works in racing but I don't want one from him because I know he will take over and I will become unpaid groom! (We have a 'shared' dog. His to have fun with mine to do all manky jobs like clean up after!!) I'm looking for a tb to have fun with. So far I have been told I'm not suitable because the girl fb stalked me and decided that I was still at uni but so wouldn't have time. (My course was one day a week but I'm not doing it anymore!) I have plenty of time to give to a horse. The next I tried was a racehorse rehoming lady. She asked my experience. I told her I had been racing and ridden ex racers a few times. She told me I would probably be too inexperienced at the care side. She tried to make them out to be monsters! I mentioned a friend who had gotten one off her and she changed her tune. She asked if I would have anyone else ride. Told her my boyfriend an ex jockey she never got back to me... The next one we saw from field, looked a bit lame the owner was adamant it was sound. Then we saw another one seemed perfect was going back to have a second viewing and another ride and was told that I probably wouldn't be right owner for it because it hadn't been in a racing yard ever?! So I'm currently feeling like I'm not good enough and all the years of hard work I have put into horses is pointless and I don't understand why some happy hacker can tell me I'm not good enough but in the eyes of a trainer and the stud farm I was if that makes more sense. I'm very upset lol X

 

[Lucyy95]

Thank you! I think maybe your right. I didn't mean his boss I meant him! I could get one off a yard but my boyfriend would have it in his name and I would end up being an unpaid groom with no riding ahha! X

 

[MissTyc]

For whatever reason, you're clearly making a poor impression on the sellers. Impossible for us to know why these interactions are not going well ... Do you have an equestrian (non-racing) friend who could go to the next viewing with you? A new set of eyes might be helpful to you.

I have let people down on a sale before with excuses such as the ones you mention, but in reality I just didn't like the viewer's style, didn't want them anywhere near my horse, didn't want to imagine my horse with that person. Not saying that is your situation; however if these various sellers don't know each other then the common factor is something about you - something you are saying or doing (or not doing), an impression you are giving (or not giving), etc ....

 

[ihatework]

If this isn't a wind up then I'd say if you have had a few people decline to sell to you then maybe they are right and you aren't ready for a TB of your own.
Obviously you could just buy one through the sales no questions asked. Not that I would recommend it.

 

[Lucyy95]

I think I'm probably not right for a horse then! your probs right I'm probably not coming across right because I'm a nervous wreck about new people. Thanks for all your help! Xxx

 

[LadySam]

... I don't understand why some happy hacker can tell me I'm not good enough but in the eyes of a trainer and the stud farm I was...

That's easy. The people you worked for got to know you and your work over time. The sellers meet you the once and by your own admission see a "nervous wreck".

Which brings us to...

... I'm probably not coming across right because I'm a nervous wreck about new people.

I think you've answered your own question. I mean, a prospective seller knows nothing about you and neither do we - one thing we'd have in common is having to make snap judgements about you based on first impressions when we don't know you. So, putting myself in a seller's shoes, if you came to me looking for a TB and came across as a very nervy person, I'm afraid I would have to think you're not suitable for a TB - especially an ex-racer! They need unflappable calm and patience, and if you don't give the impression that you can provide that for the horse, then I suppose they might not sell to you. Regardless of your apparent prior experience with your own horses/loans.

(I'm not saying you are like that, just that it may seem that way to them based on one or two meetings with you because of your anxiety.)

I'm willing to be corrected by anybody here, (and I'm probably about to commit a terrible faux pas - please forgive me) but in my own experience, right or wrong, the horsemanship abilities of racing people isn't regarded terribly highly by other horsey folk. be positive is right - if I were rehoming racehorses, I wouldn't want to put one with racing-type people. I'd want the opposite of that for the horse. (Being very honest, this is coming from me as a person who has worked long-term with psychologically and physically damaged ex-racing TBs.)

If you have good experience caring for your own horses for fun and working for stud farms, you might want to play that up rather than the racing angle. Being able to say you have cared for horses paints a very different picture to "I had been racing and ridden ex racers a few times."

 

[Tiddlypom]

If you come across as anxious, and your boyfriend (who accompanies you to the viewings) comes across as a know it all racing type who will take over the horse, then no wonder folk who've never met you before don't want to sell to you.

 

[LadySam]

If you come across as anxious, and your boyfriend (who accompanies you to the viewings) comes across as a know it all racing type who will take over the horse, then no wonder folk who've never met you before don't want to sell to you.

Tiddlypom, you said in two and a half lines what it took me six paragraphs to say! I should try harder not to ramble on.

 

[calmgirl]

Do you have an instructor who knows your riding well and wouldn't mind helping your search?
They could ring and ask around for you to get something suitable and go with you on viewings?
You may need to pay them or offer something for their time, but it could be well worth it.

 

[Diamore]

Where are you? We have some TB's that are looking for new homes at present!