Chavhorse
Well-Known Member
With Pain in My Heart I have reached a Decision
I have spent the last few weeks coming to one conclusion, then changing my mind then back and back again and so on and so forth.
http://www.horseandhound.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=457890
I finally sat down with Jan today and voiced my feelings that in all honesty the thought of ever getting back on top of Vardi again scares me to death ..there I have said it not only out loud but also in print.
He is a wonderful boy and I love him dearly but I have accepted that he is not the right match for me, he desperately needs someone who has far more guts than I have to give him the confidence he needs and deserves.
I need a horse that can give me confidence, I have been riding my YOs wifes horse for the last 3 weeks and I am loving it again, I laugh and joke through lessons and I wake up in the morning looking forward to my lesson , this morning Jan was delayed and without thinking twice I got up on Wit and started to work him in, it was only when Jan arrived 10 minutes later and said So I guess you feel in synch with him now then that I realised that with no fear or worry I was up, riding and enjoying it.
This all the more brings it into my conscious that before I had a lesson on Vardi I would have to do an hours EFT Therapy, make sure I took numerous amounts of Rescue Remedy, used to wake up with a feeling of dread and on the occasion when Jan called with 20 minutes to go to say he was delayed and could we rain check rather than disappointment I felt immense relief. Kind of speaks volumes to me I am afraid.
So my head and my gut in agreement sell Vardi and buy a horse who is, a schoolmaster, who will look after me a bit, be forgiving of any mistakes I make who I can really improve myself on so that we become true partners. At the same time Vardi goes to someone who can really see the potential he has in spades, who will give him the confidence to work to his full potential .
My heart is thinking of all Vardi and I have been through, the accident, getting him fit again, refusing to give up on him and have him put to sleep against all vetinary advice, I guess I still want the Dream like ending where we meld into one and ride off together into the sunset drenched beach.
Jan is being very pragmatic and practical, he says Vardi will need a lot of riding hours putting on him and whoever is doing that will need to be able to give him lots of confidence and be able to look out for him he says that whilst I am actually quite good (high praise indeed!) I need something that will look out for me a bit something I can practice things on, test myself on and he agrees that that is not Vardi. We have established that when he is overfaced, scared or unsure his reaction is to run, after my accident on a bolter that is something I just can not cope with.
So where do we go from here? Jans recommendation is to look for a new horse through one of the professional training barns, and to trade Vardi in as a project with them, he thinks he has masses of potential but needs a professional environment with the skills to bring him on, yes he can do it over the next 3 months or so but knowing the horse if someone came to try him who was not a very experienced rider that could set him right back., we feel this will give him the very best chance as I am very worried that if he does not go into very experienced hands then he could end up in a horrible downward spiral and no way does he deserve that.
He has said he will make some calls tonight and it is best if we get this done as quickly and painlessly as possible.
Ahem to that
This is very very hard.
I have spent the last few weeks coming to one conclusion, then changing my mind then back and back again and so on and so forth.
http://www.horseandhound.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=457890
I finally sat down with Jan today and voiced my feelings that in all honesty the thought of ever getting back on top of Vardi again scares me to death ..there I have said it not only out loud but also in print.
He is a wonderful boy and I love him dearly but I have accepted that he is not the right match for me, he desperately needs someone who has far more guts than I have to give him the confidence he needs and deserves.
I need a horse that can give me confidence, I have been riding my YOs wifes horse for the last 3 weeks and I am loving it again, I laugh and joke through lessons and I wake up in the morning looking forward to my lesson , this morning Jan was delayed and without thinking twice I got up on Wit and started to work him in, it was only when Jan arrived 10 minutes later and said So I guess you feel in synch with him now then that I realised that with no fear or worry I was up, riding and enjoying it.
This all the more brings it into my conscious that before I had a lesson on Vardi I would have to do an hours EFT Therapy, make sure I took numerous amounts of Rescue Remedy, used to wake up with a feeling of dread and on the occasion when Jan called with 20 minutes to go to say he was delayed and could we rain check rather than disappointment I felt immense relief. Kind of speaks volumes to me I am afraid.
So my head and my gut in agreement sell Vardi and buy a horse who is, a schoolmaster, who will look after me a bit, be forgiving of any mistakes I make who I can really improve myself on so that we become true partners. At the same time Vardi goes to someone who can really see the potential he has in spades, who will give him the confidence to work to his full potential .
My heart is thinking of all Vardi and I have been through, the accident, getting him fit again, refusing to give up on him and have him put to sleep against all vetinary advice, I guess I still want the Dream like ending where we meld into one and ride off together into the sunset drenched beach.
Jan is being very pragmatic and practical, he says Vardi will need a lot of riding hours putting on him and whoever is doing that will need to be able to give him lots of confidence and be able to look out for him he says that whilst I am actually quite good (high praise indeed!) I need something that will look out for me a bit something I can practice things on, test myself on and he agrees that that is not Vardi. We have established that when he is overfaced, scared or unsure his reaction is to run, after my accident on a bolter that is something I just can not cope with.
So where do we go from here? Jans recommendation is to look for a new horse through one of the professional training barns, and to trade Vardi in as a project with them, he thinks he has masses of potential but needs a professional environment with the skills to bring him on, yes he can do it over the next 3 months or so but knowing the horse if someone came to try him who was not a very experienced rider that could set him right back., we feel this will give him the very best chance as I am very worried that if he does not go into very experienced hands then he could end up in a horrible downward spiral and no way does he deserve that.
He has said he will make some calls tonight and it is best if we get this done as quickly and painlessly as possible.
Ahem to that
This is very very hard.
