Worried to death!

[gemm13]

Hello all, am new on here and am really hoping to get some friendly and good advice.
I returned to riding about 3.5 yrs ago after a break of about 15 years. (An odd ride in that time only). I always had my own ponies and rode and competed for others too but gave up due to work.
I've wanted my own horse again for so long and now I'm older and am lucky enough to have a house with stables and a bit of land I've taken the plunge and have bought one.
I've bought an 8 year old cob mare as I was careful not to over horse myself. The trouble is - she's here now - she's lovely - but I am in absolute pieces. I am crying all the time and I think it's because of the responsibility and I don't know if I can deal with it. I've ridden her quite a bit and she's fab to hack.
She's in her own field with horses next door and some opposite for her to see and 'chat' to. The first few days I turned her out she seemed fine. Yesterday though I went to check on her at lunchtime and the top bar of the 6 bar gate was bent. I have no idea what happened. She is unharmed. The vet has been since to give her her jabs. I can only think she just slammed into it. She's been out again today - there was no problem and she was fine.
The trouble is - now all I can think about is not being able to cope and her doing something to hurt herself. It is making me into a nutcase. For the past week I've been unable to sleep from worry and have had a week off work to settle her in but am back at work 4 days next week and am terrified of it. My other half works at home and can check her throughout the day but he is non-horsey really and I can hardly bear to think about it.
I don't know what to do - am I being completely bonkers or has anyone else been through the same or similar? I have never been like this before.
I have never had a horse myself, completely alone before without it being on livery (even tho it was mostly DIY) and I think this is a bit to do with the problem. The owner of the horses next to mine don't live anywhere near me and don't check as often as I would so they couldn't help.
My routine would be to let her out before I go to work, other half check get once or twice during the day and then I'd bring her in on an evening when home from work. I've got 3 days off a week from work too.
I don't know what to do - I must be crying about 4 times a day through fear and worry. If I can't do it then I worry about what the point of buying this house with stables was... I know it's a lot to ask but can anyone empathise or offer any advice please??? Thank you

 

[PorkChop]

And breathe

Remember that essentially horses are self harming beast's - all we can do is minimise the risks

If her field is safe, there is no more you can do in that respect.

You have a few options imo - if you are really hating doing it solo then you could either get a companion or get another person and horse to share your field. Would the owner of the horses next door want to share your grazing?

Is there someone you can talk to, to reassure you? You can only control the controllables, it sounds like you have a super set up and a super new horse, try and enjoy

 

[gemm13]

Remember that essentially horses are self harming beast's - all we can do is minimise the risks

If her field is safe, there is no more you can do in that respect.

Thanks so much for your encouragement and quick reply - it has helped v much! Xx

 

[be positive]

It sounds as if you have bought a super first horse, she seems settled in her new home if she is being good to hack out and happy in the field and stable, so a really good start to being a horse owner, now you have to relax, you are responsible for caring for her but it is not good if it is stressing you so much you cannot lead a normal life without constantly worrying.
She will be fine, your OH can keep an eye on her but will probably find she spends most of the day eating or snoozing in the sun, give him the vets number and you need to do a little networking, meet a few other owners who have the nearby horses and see if they will be willing to ride out with you sometimes and give a bit of support if required, most people with horses have been new to it at some point and should empathise, if you can find someone who is happy to pop in now and again it would make you feel a little more confident, they may appreciate you keeping an eye out for their horses as well.

I know most people locally who have horses and am always will to advise if asked, I saw a local pony in the field with colic and arranged for the vet, assisted the vet as I knew the owner was away for the day at a funeral, I would hope they would do the same for one of mine.

The other thing, if you have not already, is get her fully insured, while it will not prevent accidents or ailments it will give peace of mind should the worst happen and enable you to do the very best for her, not suggesting you wouldn't but it can remove a few concerns, chill and enjoy your lovely horse.

 

[theot]

hi gemm13, sounds like me, big time all this anxiety at having a pony in my paddock, the worry of it almost crippled me, my family and friends thought , oh no not another story about poppet" i worked from home and was constantly looking out various windows trying to :spot her and bang she would be looking right back at me, she tracked me through the house,then she got a mate in the back paddock and shes flat out giving me a whinney, all the stress,crying to the vet, massage therapist, i was going mad. I dont think it will ever leave me but since talking and helping a neighbour with her motley lot, its helped lol sunny australia;;

 

[FFAQ]

All of the above! It's a scary responsibility but it sounds like you really care about getting it 'right' so I reckon you'll be fine. With regards to the bent gate - is she a big hairy cob? My horse Barny is forever bending gates and cracking rails through itching his big bum on them!

 

[epeters91]

Sounds like your doing an amazing job with her! I would say try to relax your doing everything you can, if you can't not stress about it then maybe consider a livery yard just to put your mind at rest? Have a nice big glass of wine and some chocolate

 

[splashgirl45]

if it makes you feel any better, I owned my horse for about 10 years and kept him at a local riding school (where I worked part time)I worked in London full time so my horse was under the supervision of the yard owner and I never worried. I then had the chance to move him to a friends place which had turnout as well as stables so I moved him...I could barely sleep, and worried all day while I was at work ..I ended up calling the vet for the slightest little thing as I was not confident without the backup of being able to ask the YO...it took a little while but I calmed down and never looked back so you will get used to the responsibility but if you can afford it why not get a companion from one of the charities to keep your mare happy or advertise for a livery so you will have someone to share rides etc with.