Would you be annoyed?

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gardenoftrees

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I thought I'd ask if I'm being unreasonable so I can have an unbiased opinion.

I share a pony at a livery yard. I have only been there 4 times. The owner of the pony (and the yard) tells me that the pony is hard to catch and if I have a handful of pony nuts and don't grab at it then all will be good. So I arrive today. There is someone (who I assume to be a member of staff) bringing a horse in from the field. I asked her where the pony is and she directs me to the field. This is the first time I've had to catch it as it has been in the stable previously. I grab a head collar and a handful of pony nuts and head for the field. I offer the pony nuts it starts to eat them. I then drop them on the ground thinking I might be able to get the headcollar around whilst it's distracted but no it's seen that trick before and wouldn't entertain eating them off the floor. So I pick them up and offer them again but using my left hand so it has to reach across me. No it doesn't want to know. If the nuts aren't offered head on it doesn't want to know.. So I give it the nuts and it trots away. At this point I decide that if I don't want to have a farce every visit I will have to take the long haul so I follow it around the small paddock area. I've been doing this for 25 minutes when the member of staff appears with a huge scoop of nuts and proceeds to give them to the pony. She didn't say a word to me.

At this point I was really annoyed. I had spent 25 minutes for nothing, my work undone. As far as I can see this pony will have zero respect for me now and I will never have a hope of catching it. I asked her if she wanted the head collar and she said no so I said fine and left her to it and went home. I can't see how I can loan a pony I can't catch. I'm an adult by the way the pony is ridden by my child just so you don't think I'm a 10 year old following the pony round the field.

So what would you have done? What should I have done? Be honest I can take a lashing!
 
Think other member of staff was slightly out of order, should have asked first if you needed help etc. If you had enough time with said pony, might be able to train him out of his bad habit :)
 
How rude of her not to say anything and just feed the pony without asking! You don't mention whether you knew her or not, but either way I should have thought she ought to ask whether she could help you before barging in and doing what she felt like! No advice really as I'm a bit speechless about this, sorry!
 
nosenseofdirection said:
How rude of her not to say anything and just feed the pony without asking! You don't mention whether you knew her or not, but either way I should have thought she ought to ask whether she could help you before barging in and doing what she felt like! No advice really as I'm a bit speechless about this, sorry!
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I don't know her at all. I think she may have been there before as I say I've only been to the yard 4 times so don't know anyone.
 
I would have got a bucket of nuts and tried to catch it that way I would not have followed a pony round a field when I got been told it had issues with catching and nuts was the best way.
I would not have left in a strop I would have thanked the girl with the scoop of nuts and asked her if she would mind puttting the head collar on for me.
If she did it I would have thanked her nicely ( though gritted teeth ) and got with my day.
If I was the owner I would be angry to hear that tale I would doult that you would listen to me in the future.
 
If you are sharing the pony then you should do it exactly the way the owner has told you. I would be furious if I found out that my sharer went against my instructions. I can understand your train of thought, but it is not your pony. I would ask the owner to come down and actually show you how to catch the pony with the nuts and headcollar.
 
Ok I am amending my post,. I think it is bizarre she did not speak to you and it does sound like a very awkward exchange. But I have to agree with other psoters, if this is what the owner wants, you either have to comply or find another loan. It sounds like it really bugs you - is it a deal breaker for you? Its annoying, especially if you do not have the freedom to try and break the habit but if the pony is safe for your daughter to ride it might be better to overlook it?
 
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Id have said thank you for coming and helping me catch the pony, and be hoping the pony became better to catch as it got to know me better :)

Were you supposed to be bringing it in or something? Or going riding?
 
I think that they should have been there with you the first time you caught it, to help you. I also think that, although you're not ten, you sound quite novice, and in need of a bit more help!

Would they leave the headcollar on for you for the first week or so? If not, take your handful/scoop of food, and a leadrope. As the pony goes to eat the food, put the leadrope round its neck, once you've got hold of it by that, you can put the headcollar on... DO NOT let the pony eat all the food without putting the rope round it's neck..

Next time, swallow your pride a bit and ask for help if you're struggling. Say to the staff member "Will you show me your trick, I can't seem to catch it!" Have a giggle about it rather than taking it personally. Ponies aren't daft - the staff member feeds it, you and your daughter make it work... Who would you choose in its shoes! Chin up, try again, ponies are naughty little things that teach horsey mums a lot as well as our kids!xx
 
Yes, you should be annoyed - you were trying to do some good work with the pony. Why didn't you just explain that to her when you realised what she was doing? I can understand that you went home cross but it really was up to you to speak up. Perhaps she thought she was helping?
 
Is it on livery? If so tge staff won't have time to follow it round tge field so probably do catch it with nuts. She probably thought she was being helpful having watched you follow it for 25mins but yes she could have said something. I certainly wouldn't have walked off in your situation.
 
It was rude of her to not speak to you but if she was a staff member it is probably her job to catch this pony on a regular basis and this method obviously works for her, she will not have time to trudge around walking it down when simply offering a scoop of feed works.

As you are paying to ride this pony, a share rather than loan, you either need to come to an arrangement that it is brought in so you can ride when you want or see if they will let you try and address the catching issue, the problem with that being that when you are not using it the staff will possibly still have to go out with a scoop.
 
I'm a bit confused. What was the purpose of the staff member feeding the pony ? Did she have a head collar to catch it with or was she just randomly feeding it ?
Either way she was extremely rude to interfere without explaining when you were busy with the pony.
Have a word with the owner and have her show you the method she uses to catch him/her. Its really no fun trying to catch a difficult to catch pony. It may not be a problem in winter when the grass isn't so rich, but that's not a long term solution.
 
The pony is shared by "multiple" poeple (the owners words not mine). I followed the owner's instruction, I took a handful of nuts and did not grab it which is what she did when she caught it the day we went to look. However I know others have problems catching it because I heard the owner shouting at a young girl who went to try and catch it without nuts. On this occasion it was in an area less than 12 ft square. As this pony is ridden multiple times a day it is in and out like a yo yo from what I can make out. I guess that might be the problem it knows the staff bring it in and feed it and everyone else just brings it in to ride.

The staff member thought she was helping and if she'd have said something such do you need any help or even asked me to wait 5 minutes and she'd catch him for me that would have been fine but she didn't. Why wait 25 minutes before offering help if she thought I needed help? I have had my own horse in the past so I'm not a novice althought I wouldn't profess to be an expert either.

I have already decided I will be terminating the contract not just due to this as I was already feeling I'd made a mistake due to other issues with the yard. I was going to see if things got better but TBH sharing a pony is supposed to be fun and not bring hassle so I'd rather quit now before my child becomes attached to the pony.
 
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I can understand your frustration. Perhaps the pony doesn't want to work as much as it does. Is the pony great in other ways? Safe, straightforward when ridden, confidence giving? If it is then perhaps don't be so quick to terminate the contract. Shares always have their quirks and things you won't like - real hazard of sharing :(
 
Honey08 said:
I think that they should have been there with you the first time you caught it, to help you. I also think that, although you're not ten, you sound quite novice, and in need of a bit more help!

Would they leave the headcollar on for you for the first week or so? If not, take your handful/scoop of food, and a leadrope. As the pony goes to eat the food, put the leadrope round its neck, once you've got hold of it by that, you can put the headcollar on... DO NOT let the pony eat all the food without putting the rope round it's neck..That is exactly what I was trying to do but it was never going to happen. I get the feeling this pony has seen every trick in the book!

Next time, swallow your pride a bit and ask for help if you're struggling. Say to the staff member "Will you show me your trick, I can't seem to catch it!" Have a giggle about it rather than taking it personally. Ponies aren't daft - the staff member feeds it, you and your daughter make it work... Who would you choose in its shoes! This is my point. What the staff member does isn't going to work for me because I will never be feeding it more than a handful of nuts whereas they do. Chin up, try again, ponies are naughty little things that teach horsey mums a lot as well as our kids!xx Yes I know I've had my own horse and had to rid her of bad habits so know it can be done.
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I hope that makes it a bit clearer where I'm coming from.
 
Billie1007 said:
I can understand your frustration. Perhaps the pony doesn't want to work as much as it does. Is the pony great in other ways? Safe, straightforward when ridden, confidence giving? If it is then perhaps don't be so quick to terminate the contract. Shares always have their quirks and things you won't like - real hazard of sharing :(
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I have to say I do have concerns about the amount of work especially with it just having endured the school holidays! This is another problem the only area to ride is the school which is used by several riders at once some on horses so can be quite intimidating for children although the riders do try to be considerate. It isn't easy trying to watch for where the other riders are when you're trying to watch your child and where you're going when leading a pony at the trot. As I say it isn't the only issue.
 
The poor pony sounds as if it has a rather busy life ridden by "multiple sharers" coming in and out several times a day it sounds more like the life of a riding school pony, without the supervision.
I would look for another share so your daughter can enjoy caring for a pony that wants to be ridden, not one that is being hired out as much as this one seems to be.
 
gardenoftrees said:
I have to say I do have concerns about the amount of work especially with it just having endured the school holidays! This is another problem the only area to ride is the school which is used by several riders at once some on horses so can be quite intimidating for children although the riders do try to be considerate. It isn't easy trying to watch for where the other riders are when you're trying to watch your child and where you're going when leading a pony at the trot. As I say it isn't the only issue.
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That doesn't sound like much fun. I gave up a share very quickly once as I wasn't convinced by the yard, the staff, the fact that he had two other sharers and the fact that just getting him out of the gate made me crap myself! Sometimes you just know!
 
This sounds more like a downmarket riding school than a genuine share. I am aware that there are some places that do this to avoid the lisencing issues, I don't think I would want my child riding there tbh.
 
Why didn't you engage this person in conversation. And rather than just leaving why didn't you go and have a chat with the owner?
 
amymay said:
Why didn't you engage this person in conversation. And rather than just leaving why didn't you go and have a chat with the owner?
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The owner is as far as I'm aware on holiday, she certainly wasn't there today. TBH I don't think I could have forced polite conversation. It was 20 odd degrees here today and I'd spent 25 minutes trying to show this pony that it was going to be easier to work with me than get away from me when this woman interfered (or tried to help if I'm being generous). I think her lack of manners made me forget mine if I'm honest.
 
YorksG said:
This sounds more like a downmarket riding school than a genuine share. I am aware that there are some places that do this to avoid the lisencing issues, I don't think I would want my child riding there tbh.
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Well the owner does offer riding lessons but we weren't having them because I didn't feel comfortable with her, given the way I'd heard her yell at someone else's child. She mainly has horses and ponies there that are shared by several people each althought there are some liveries. She did say she'd be getting another pony but regardless of the pony available I'm not keen on the yard. I think I wanted it to be good and I felt pushed into it but you live and learn.
 
gardenoftrees said:
Well the owner does offer riding lessons but we weren't having them because I didn't feel comfortable with her, given the way I'd heard her yell at someone else's child. She mainly has horses and ponies there that are shared by several people each althought there are some liveries. She did say she'd be getting another pony but regardless of the pony available I'm not keen on the yard. I think I wanted it to be good and I felt pushed into it but you live and learn.
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I think I would be checking the status of this yard with the local authority, it does sound a bit dodgey to me.
 
TBH I just want to walk away. There are obviously lots of parents who are happy to drop their children off at the weekend and they stay all day by themselves (from the age of 8) and play IT on the ponies and such like. Not what I'd do but although a cop out it isn't my problem. I had wondered the same myself as I have slowly realised what's going on.
 
I think it sounds like an awful set up, for both the sharers and the ponies. I would cancel the share and find a genuine share or loan at a decent yard, how dsappointing for your daughter if you go to ride and can't catch the pony. The member of staff, whether trying to help or not, was rude by just barging in to feed the pony without a word and shows a complete lack of respect to a paying customer.
 
Dolcé;11047294 said:
I think it sounds like an awful set up, for both the sharers and the ponies. I would cancel the share and find a genuine share or loan at a decent yard, how dsappointing for your daughter if you go to ride and can't catch the pony. The member of staff, whether trying to help or not, was rude by just barging in to feed the pony without a word and shows a complete lack of respect to a paying customer.
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I have written a letter cancelling the contract (months notice required!) and will leave it there tomorrow. I don't actually have a copy of the contract I signed so have no contact details other than the mobile phone number and the yard address which is not adjoined to where she lives. I don't think we'll be going too many more times. If I go at 9am then I know he'll be in because that's when they arrive at the yard to unlock. Unless I can get there at 9 I don't think I'll bother going so probably only once a week. Expensive for once a week but there you go.
 
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