Would you keep a horse if you did not want to compete?

[Firewell]

Please bear with me this is long...

I find myself asking this question. I don't know if it is the beginning of winter talking or the fact that I have just gone through a phase of going back to basics and going out a lot trying to improve but I don't know if I want to do it anymore...

Iv'e got a dressage show this weekend and a lesson tomorrow and the idea of having to learn my tests, practice, clean, plait up, pick up the lorry is making me feel like yawning and diving under the duvet!

I'm 30 now. I got my first pony and started pony cub when I was 7 and iv'e pretty much been out and about constantly since then with no real break other than the odd couple of months here and there. Even went to Hartpury College and lived and breathed horses (as well as alcohol and rugby boys ). Having a horse, coming from a horsie family and planning the next competition is all iv'e known, it's almost like it's ingrained in my psyche.

Iv'e already made the decision that I don't want to go up the levels. I love the idea of it but in reality I just can't find the motivation to push myself. So I decided to compete for the fun of it and I have had fun but I'm not sure if i'm doing it because I feel I *should* not because I *want* too.

My mum has said just relax, don't go out for a bit and go out again when you feel you want to but that's rich coming from her as she is exactly the same as me! We can't relax, we start planning and plotting and getting frustrated and I am FED up with torturing myself. That is why I wonder if I need a complete break from horses, to find myself and the other things I am good at, to live a different life.

In reality the thought of selling my beautiful Jae bean who I have put so much work into and who is such a charming and generous horse makes me want to burn my eyes out with hot pokers. He is the perfect horse for me. I knew it the moment I saw his cheeky little face over the stable door 3 years ago. This is not about having the right or wrong horse. I will never have another boy like my beans. It also seems such a waste. Not just of my horse as I know everyone says the horse doesn't care what it achieves blah blah but of both of us and our partnership. My jump trainer doesn't understand what the problem is, he says I am a good rider with a good horse but I don't know if I can make myself do it anymore. I don't know how long beans is going to put up with me doubting myself and doubting wether I want to do it. It's not fair on him or me.

I think the last time I really enjoyed myself out was going XC back in April when I finally started to relax and smile. Yeah Iv'e been happy when we have won rosettes ect but I haven't exactly felt ecstatic, just mildly pleased. I get just as pleased doing a nice jump at home or going for a gallop in the sunshine or eating a chocolate cake and having a glass of sancerre whilst watching towie.

It's different for everybody I know and maybe I would get a different answer in NL compared to CR but how do you feel about what you do and would you still be involved with horses if you didn't get that buzz from competing?

 

[Skippys Mum]

Yes! I used to compete constantly. Nowadays I do the odd clear round or baby xc at a push. I dont care that we are not out competing. Arnie doesnt care.

I couldnt bear not having him but I couldnt care less if I never competed (or for that matter, even rode him) again. He is my pet and my friend and part of my family. Thats all he has to do

eta, we have fun going to the beach or for pleasure rides or even doing wee jumps but there is no competitive pleasure for me anymore.

 

[9tails]

You'll find plenty of people have competition-worthy horses and go hacking, do a bit of schooling, box up for the beach/xc schooling/long distance rides.

 

[j1ffy]

I get just as pleased doing a nice jump at home or going for a gallop in the sunshine or eating a chocolate cake and having a glass of sancerre whilst watching towie.

But if you don't do all the jumping and galloping you won't have burnt off all the calories to enjoy the sancerre and chocolate cake

I enjoy competing (even though I get very nervous!) but I love 'just' riding and improving myself and my horse. Perhaps it's because for much of my riding career I've not had transport, so competing was always a bonus. Why don't you turn Jae away for a few months over winter, do all the other stuff that you want to do, then see how much you miss it?

I had about 9 years away from riding when I went to Uni then started working in London (with barely enough spare cash to fund my social life, let alone riding ). Once I started again, I loved every minute and now I really appreciate the hobby. Nine years is extreme but sometimes a break - really taking the pressure off - can help you understand if it's something you can live without or a real passion that you can't walk away from.

 

[LJN]

I started riding when I was about 4 or 5, and had my own ponies and horses up until I went to uni. I did tonnes of competitions, all the PC stuff and loved it. Did uni, got a job and after nearly 7 years of not riding I booked some riding lessons. The first riding lesson I had was nearly a year ago now.... It was great fun to be pootling around on a horse again, but I wanted MORE!!!!! In Feb I splashed out and got my beautiful chap (who is quite a talented show jumper) and I am totally hooked on competing again. Sometimes I wonder what the point is when you spend the whole day going off to a comp, just for 70 odd seconds of actual jumping, but I know that I can't stop now and could never be a happy hacker.

Have a rest from it for a while, but don't sell your horse... You never know, you might just need a season out to remind yourself why you do it

 

[Perfect_Pirouette]

Not sure but this isn't the first post you've posted like this.

You and Jae are going great guns atm, but if your heart's not really in it or you want a break then why not take a year off competing and see if you miss it? DON'T enter anything, just mill about and do what you want for a while?

I don't ever get sick of competing, I get sick of not competing. I don't have transport so can't compete that often, try to get out about 6-8 times a year? When I see people with their own lorries/transport I'm insanely jealous as would love to be able to just wake up and think 'next weekend I want to compete, better get my entry in' and tootle off and do it. However, perhaps when/if I get my own transport the novelty will wear off for me a bit and I will be able to take it or leave it.

If you're not that bothered about competing then don't. You may, in 6 months time suddenly get the bug again and want to go out and do a season of something, or you may realise that actually you aren't missing it at all. Only one way to find out and I don't see the point in pushing yourself to do it when you really can't be arsed. I know that feeling (I get that feeling after work during the winter when I know I've got to school. I.Just.Can't.Be.Arsed, Want.To.Go.Home.And.Curl.Up.And.Watch.TV.In.The.Warm) as you won't enjoy it.

ETA- Like the posters above, I had a break of 4 years whilst I finished my A-Levels, moved to London to go to Uni etc and really missed horses and the horsey way of life. If I hadn't ever had a break perhaps I wouldn't appreciate it so much I don't know?

Oh and in answer to your Q D) Yes I would still keep one if I didn't compete but wouldn't bother half as much to school in the cold, dark at 7 at night in the depths of winter.

 

[ihatework]

I always used to think that if I couldn't compete I didn't want a horse!!
Gradually changing my mind though, tried the no horse thing a couple of winters back and didn't like it at all!!

I go through spells of being motivated and not (usually directly corrolated to how well the horse is going ) but now if I'm not 'up for it' I just don't bother and go for a jolly hack instead of getting up at the crack of dawn for dressage etc.

Why not try going drag hunting this winter, that usually re-motivates quite well!!

 

[Nicnac]

Just do as much or as little as YOU want to. Take the pressure off, enjoy your horse and if you still want to take a break from horses after not competing for a few months than you will know it's just not the competing bit that you are fed up with but the whole 'horsey' scene.

 

[be positive]

Are you still enjoying the daily routine, the riding, whether it is schooling or hacking, would you consider being an owner and letting your trainer or someone else ride at competitions, if no to all the above maybe you do really need a break, either turn him away for the winter, put him in livery or consider loan or sale.
I rarely compete now but am very involved with my liveries who I train, take to events and support, it can still be fun without the same pressure but I still enjoy, if that is the right word, most of the time, the daily care and preparation.

This summer has been depressing the constant rain, events cancelled at the last minute, trying to keep going has at times been tough but worth it when the horses go well and rider comes back beaming after a great ride xc.

Jae, as you know, has no aspirations to go out and compete, he will be happy whatever you decide is right for you even if it is just to hack out once in a while when the sun is shining

 

[stencilface]

A break is sometimes really good for you (both!) I have had an enforced break from competing for nearly 2 years now thanks to horses lameness I am DESPERATE to get jumping on something again, but cannot afford to run another - I know of ones I could have on loan tomorrow probably. I just need to find that special person near me who has a horse that jumps, but they only want to hack

How about doing something different to rekindle it for you too? I went and had a classical lesson on a Lusitano schoolmaster and it was AMAZING. I was doing flying changes, half pass, travers and spanish walk - all at the touch of a button. But the most amazing part was the passage, I haven't grinned that much for ages, it was brilliant, like floating. So I think trying something different like this or trying polo etc etc but just be a help too

 

[TarrSteps]

I grew up in a very isolated part of the world (relative to your standards) with a very mixed bag of horses about, many still actively working in a way very few horses do here. There were also a surprising number of people from Europe or "back East" originally who had ridden to a very high level in their previous lives, even to international standard in a few cases. They sometimes did a bit of teaching - usually a few keen students - and had a horse or two, often trained to a very high level. I knew one old woman who could no longer ride but had a horse that did all the GP movements on a longe line! Others jumped, maybe going out to a few local shows but often just at home, perhaps a few homebreds for sale or even just for fun. A few went a occasionally to big shows in more populated areas - no joke as it could be a 12hr journey - but no more than a couple a year in the summer.

When I was a kid I could never understand it but now I totally get it. They loved riding, they loved horses but, for whatever reason, they were voluntarily done with that world. Obviously these are extreme examples but you'd be surprised how often it happens. Some go back after some time (Eddie Macken springs to mind), some give up entirely, some switch into another aspect of the industry (Michael Matz), some just continue to do it for their own pleasure. There is no law you have to compete so if you don't want to, don't. The horses honestly, truthfully, could not care less.

What I will say though, is don't seek justification in the opinions of others. There will always be people who feel differently so don't expect them to agree that you're doing the right or wrong thing for you. It's your horse, it's your money, it's supposed to be a hobby!

If you want a different perspective, read "Riding Into the Light". It was written before the current craze for "NH" whatever that means and was a much more radical thing to write about at the time but worth a read for anyone who doesn't just want to follow the crowd.

 

[paddy]

I used to compete show jumping every weekend, sometimes riding 3 or 4 horses in several classes - loved it! Having given up sj due to back problems, I'm now focussing on my dressage. Been having lessons with trainer for over a year now and haven't been to a show once. Nor have i felt the need to. Am thoroughly enjoying learning to make my boy dance, and am spending all of my money on lessons rather than entry fees. And hacking around the countryside on a sunny day is just incredible for the soul after a week in London.

Why not try different things - beach rides, sponsored rides, hunting, Trec and just focus on having fun for a while?

 

[Firewell]

Thanks everyone. SS your right this is not the first time I have posted feeling like this, I think that says a lot. I have never had a break, not since I can remember.
I do enjoy riding and I do enjoy my horse though. I feel like a massive weight has lifted off my shoulders admitting i'm not really that enamoured with it anymore. I'm normally an all or nothing sort of person but I adore my horse and I just can't imagine not having him. I love the idea of beach rides. I'm a bit worried I might die drag hunting , but I do like the idea of just doing what takes my fancy and not putting pressure on myself.
Part of me thinks that i'm failing by deciding to take a break but I spent over £400 doing shows and lessons last month and I came out of it with two £1.50p yellow rosettes and a bruise and that's it. Yes I am pleased my dressage and showjumping are improving but not so pleased that I want to spend £400 on it lol.

 

[madlady]

I gave up competing years ago and I've never looked back.

OK I wasn't going to win HOYS or be leading showjumper of the year but I was out almost every weekend, XC, SJ, local and county level. I stopped about 20 years ago, I still have horses (6) one of who would no doubt do a beautiful dressage test if I could be bothered to teach her.

I have horses now because I love them and enjoy their company, hubby drives them and I'm a happy hacker - much stress on the happy!

 

[Firewell]

That's interesting Tarrsteps thank you.
I'm more pressured by other people around me competing and it makes me want to do it to prove I can do it as well but actually who do I need to prove anything too?!
Be positive I do for the most part enjoy the day to day stuff, especially when the weathers nice . Even if it's horrid though, I may not want to go to the yard but once i'm there I always feel better for getting some fresh air and I get satisfaction out of taking care of my horse. I don't think I could watch another rider compete him though, I'd feel too protective .
Paddy and Stencilface I do enjoy my schooling . I rode a spanish horse at a dressage yard in spain, I loved it, it was amazing! I actually really need to work without stirrups so maybe that is something to do! When no one is watching . I love hacking, some of my most enjoyable times have been out hacking in the sunshine .

 

[Sameru]

You need to have a baby and I will snuggle with your beans while you come back! teeheehee! *cheeky face*

 

[Firewell]

You need to have a baby and I will snuggle with your beans while you come back! teeheehee! *cheeky face*

Heehee *like*

 

[flyingfeet]

Firewell you need to come tentpegging!!!

No plaiting, no uptight people, just gratuitous fun and you can feel the horses thoroughly enjoying themselves.

Not to mention there is something very addictive about hitting a target - I got my 65 year (wobbly rider) mum to have a go and she was thrilled to hit a peg and hasn't stopped talking about it!!

There is a session on this weekend in Gloucestershire if that helps?

 

[Prince33Sp4rkle]

short answer, no.

longer answer-at 28, and having been involved since 12, ive been immersed in it a slightly shorter while than you, and also have no desire to do the baby thing, so no distraction/other wants on that front.....

i think NMT and i have had about 2 weekends off since March, and whilst I CANT WAIT for our winter break, by spring ill be itching to get to it again. I love my training at home, but i want to get out and prove i can do it, be scored, be judged against others etc and could never have a horse just for pottering at home on.

or course if for whatever reason CS and I were FORCED to take a break, money, lorry problems, family problems, alien invasion, etc, then i would keep him, but id always be aiming to get back in that arena.

you have to do what makes YOU happy and sod everyone else, i have plenty of clients who never, or barely, compete.

 

[crabbymare]

If you feel relieved now you have said it then stop competing for a while and just enjoy your horse. you can still have lessons if you want to or not if you don't! you can find fun rides or do a beginners day hunting if that takes your fancy just do whatever you want to do and no competing in winter is very sensible as it means you don't have to be out at silly hours in t he morning when sensible people are still hugging the duvet a friend of mine who used to ride at a very high level now just rides at home goes to the beach in winter or for long rides in the forest but still has her much loved dressage lessons. her horse could easily go out at advanced medium or advanced but as she says why have the pressure of competitions when you can have so much fun at home. keep your horse and ignore those who say thou shalt compete and just do what you want when you want and have fun doing it

 

[Firewell]

Firewell you need to come tentpegging!!!

No plaiting, no uptight people, just gratuitous fun and you can feel the horses thoroughly enjoying themselves.

Not to mention there is something very addictive about hitting a target - I got my 65 year (wobbly rider) mum to have a go and she was thrilled to hit a peg and hasn't stopped talking about it!!

There is a session on this weekend in Gloucestershire if that helps?

Ha ha! And I thought I might die draghunting lol. It does look serious fun, are the tent pegs on the ground? I might need a smaller horse!

 

[PapaFrita]

I would. Sometimes I feel like competing, sometimes I don't.
I did write a much longer reply but the above basically sums it up for me.

 

[TheoryX1]

I used to do a lot of dressage and showing with my cob. Now I dont bother, cant be bothered and am very happy hacking and just generally enjoying owning a horse.

It really is horses for courses. Just because you own a horse, it does not mean you MUST compete. If you want to then fine, if you dont then fine. Some of us get a lot of enjoyment just out of owning our precious horses and looking after them. I get the odd yearning to go out competing, but it disappears pretty quickly.

 

[flyingfeet]

Ha ha! And I thought I might die draghunting lol. It does look serious fun, are the tent pegs on the ground? I might need a smaller horse!

Well its far safer than draghunting!
The pegs are on the ground, but you can still reach. Some of the poor army guys have had to do it on 17hh horses, which is possible, but perhaps makes you less competitive when it comes to swords (lances you can make longer, but a sword is standard!)

 

[Holidays_are_coming]

I would, she has had a year of injury and before I made her do everything including dressage which she hates. Since she has come back into work Ive promised her and myself that everything we do will be fun and if we go eventing she can stick her head in the air in the dressage if she feels like it!!!

Im loving all the hacking bringing her back into work, and hopefully we will be back out jumping and x-cing again soon!! but just for fun!!

 

[jenbleep]

Firewell you always seem to get so worked up over issues like this (not sure but I think you may have posted a similar post in the past?) and I can't see why you do! You almost seem like you you feel like you *have* to compete because your horse is capable? You don't have to prove anything!

Competing? I take it or leave it tbh. One side of me would like to compete on a regular basis, but the other part of me is just happy to enjoy riding. I still school on a regular basis and have lessons to improve my riding and my horses flexibility, manners and to keep him on his toes and interested in his work. Not too mention he is a bit hit and miss when he's at shows (may even do a little post and see what you all think ) so I do whatever makes him happy. Maybe he's pulling the wool over our eyes I don't know. At the minute I'm happy having lessons, hacking and jumping at home - I'm sure one day I'll start to compete again but I like to fill my weekends with other fun things too like kayaking or hiking

Firewell why don't you give Jae a little holiday? If not now, why not after Christmas. Just relax and don't stress about competing - you've done so well with Jae, it really doesn't matter if he's out every weekend showing what you already know he can do

 

[Bustalot]

Yes. Have done since My 1st horse 7 years ago. Although its not a 'not wanting to compete' for me. Its a case of lack of transport, so no choice. I used to get out where we can and do what we can. But now actually having a horse that is more than capable of a decent level of competing (although still A LOT of work and a long way to go) I am looking to sort the transport issue out as it is really making me itch to get him out and about. I find it also gives me something to aim towards otherwise I just end up milling about and not getting anywhere!

I think if you kept Jae and no longer competed it would bring the fun element back into it for you. Take the pressure off. You wouldn't feel the need to ride every day. Even when you do ride you wont feel the need to slog it out in the school you can go for a nice chilled hack.

There is no shame in keeping a horse and not competing. Hell some people keep a horse and don't even ride. In both scenerios horse and person are happy.

 

[rowy]

If I didn't compete I would not see the point in schooling and working hard to compete if I'm being honest. I usually stop competing over the winter but half way through the winter I lose all motivation to ride at all cos I know I'm not working towards anything really. I need know there is a competition coming up to motivate me.

However, I have always said that if you are not enjoying it, there is no point doing it. If there was ever a point I started hating competing in dressage I think I would just give up horses as I would end up resenting them as I would be working hard to pay for my horse but not getting any enjoyment out of it. I gave up jumping because I became so nervous of it and wasn't enjoying it.

Could you loan out jae and have a break from horses? Come spring you may find you are really missing it and feel motivated again.
Saying that though, everyone is different and many people enjoy not competing.

 

[TGM]

I think the last time I really enjoyed myself out was going XC back in April when I finally started to relax and smile. Yeah Iv'e been happy when we have won rosettes ect but I haven't exactly felt ecstatic, just mildly pleased. I get just as pleased doing a nice jump at home or going for a gallop in the sunshine or eating a chocolate cake and having a glass of sancerre whilst watching towie.

This quote really makes me think you should get out hunting! I agree that just hacking and schooling at home can feel pointless sometimes, but going out hunting can give you a lot of the benefits of competing without the pressure to succeed. You get to go to lots of different places, meet other horsey people and have fun. You don't have to pre-enter and can decide not to go if the weather is foul.

 

[spookypony]

I'm a very very competitive person, and when I go to compete, I go to win. But having a horse that will never be competitive in the disciplines I know best has been a very interesting lesson in humility and acceptance, that oddly enough I think will make me a much better rider and competitor when I do have a horse that is happy in those disciplines.

Now, we're enjoying some modest success in a discipline that is new to me, because I had to follow my horse's guidance in what he was happy doing. Our success has as much to do with my competitive instincts than anything, because there are horses far more naturally suited to the discipline than mine, whose riders are more easy-going, and who are therefore more relaxed about the competitive aspects.

So now, I again find myself making (for us) high-flying plans, and I have to remember the lessons I learned before, of appreciating where his limits may be, and listening to him when he says, "no more". The difference is that a competition is not the 90 seconds of a SJ round, or the 5+ minutes of a dressage test, but (at the levels I'm aiming for next year, hopefully) 6 to 8 hours from start to finish, and I am acutely aware that with each bigger question, I may be reaching for his physical limit. (That's a pretty humbling thought, that I'm willing to ask that for a competitive aim that he can't comprehend, and it raises all sorts of fascinating ethical questions...) I can only hope that I'll be able to hear the little pony voice saying "no more", when it comes, over the urgings of the competitive spirit.

If that spirit ever disappeared? Of course he would stay, and others would follow. Horses seem as essential to me at the moment as music.