Would you keep on this sharer?

Daniel_Jack

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18 August 2017
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189
I have a woman who currently shares my horse 2 to 3 times a week.

She is quite an inexperienced rider - rode as a child but hadn't done much riding in over 25 years. She was looking for something to share and get back into riding and primarily wanted to hack and do a bit of schooling.

They seemed to be getting on well these last 4 months but I've heard from others at the yard that she seems to have lost enthusiasm claiming she wants a more forward horse now and just generally not seeming to enjoy her as much. She's mentioned nothing to me though.

Sharer is not great in the school - doesn't understand simple things like diagonals etc. She had one lesson with my instructor but has done nothing since but has expressed unhappiness to other liveries that she can't get the horse going in the school (cue them being chased round with a lunge whip by these other liveries).

To be candid about my horse - she is very, very laid back and will give you nothing unless you ask correctly and firmly. It took me a few months to get the measure of her but she will hack nicely for me (still on the slow side but responsive and keeps up with others) and after some (but not loads) of consistent schooling she's going much better than when I bought her and probably the best she's ever gone.

Now that its getting dark so early the sharer will be forced to ride in the school more often. I'm not necessarily concerned that she'll undo all my work but the fact that she's putting little effort into improving her riding and just expecting the horse to do what she wants then complaining when she doesn't is a bit frustrating.

I have made the offer that sharer can reduce their days in the winter if they just want to hack but she's not taken me up on this - I'd happily have her pay £10 a week just to hack one day at the weekend.

I don't need the financial contribution - my main reason for getting a sharer was to help manage the horses weight (fat cob) but given the sharer is apparently only hacking her very short distances that defeats the purpose.

Am I being to quick to get rid? I just seems that neither of us are getting what we want out of this arrangement!
 

Daniel_Jack

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18 August 2017
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189
Don't get me wrong - the horse does need some encouragement but nothing is really going to be achieved by relying on other to drive the horse forward.

I'll try and have a chat with her - i get the sense that she's likely to be more open with the other liveries than me though as they are the ones that have told me of her issues whereas when I ask she says its all fine.

Also just realised I posted this in introductions 🙈
 

SaddlePsych'D

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15 December 2019
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484
I'm not sure what the solution is but are the other liveries being particularly helpful by involving themselves in this way ? (I.e. reporting back to you rather than encouraging openness between sharer and yourself, and chasing your horse with a lunge whip rather than encouraging sharer to get some tips from you around how to get the best out of your horse, or to have another lesson or two). I get they are probably trying to help but if it were me I might want them to direct sharer to me as owner directly (hypothetically, I'm a sharer myself not an owner). The more open communication between the two of you directly, the better I think. Perhaps sharer is worried to talk to you directly about areas they are finding tricky (not necessarily because of anything about you, it can just be difficult to own our weaknesses), I worried about that as a novice first time sharer. Thankfully have found myself at a friendly yard where hopefully if any issues do come up, myself, owner and yard owner would be able to be upfront about it and review the arrangement going forwards (or they would steer me right to get me back on track with share horse!)
 

Red-1

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7 February 2013
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10,150
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You don't need the money and she isn't helping with the weight loss much. You are now not enjoying the experience.

I fail to see why you would continue?

You only need a sharer if it makes your life easier and more enjoyable. Personally the loan would have stopped when she was having people chase my horse with a whip!

I would simply tell her that the loan is no longer working for you, and you wish to end it.

Then you can enjoy your own horse, or get a sharer who appreciates what you and your horse can offer.
 

ownedbyaconnie

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3 October 2018
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584
Speak to the sharer. I took on an inexperienced teen and she managed to teach my mare an impressive napping habit in the space of a few days. I'm now very picky!
 

ester

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Have a chat with them, at one point I was sharing a mare whose forward and round buttons I just couldn't find in the school even though I knew they were there and was a fairly good rider, come winter there was no avoiding it (had tended to hack out instead) and once I'd found them all she was a nice ride.
I have also taught my own sharer on my lad (also lazy if he could be!) which was helpful to her. This also gave me the opportunity to tune him up before she got on/she could see what I did.

I'm not sure why the other liveries are getting so involved as to go in with a lunge whip.
 

Daniel_Jack

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Joined
18 August 2017
Messages
189
I agree the other liveries getting involved isn't particularly helpful although done with the best of intentions. And without them I might not have been made aware of what's going on.

I've arranged to meet the sharer to discuss things and have indicated to the fellow liveries that I'll deal with it from here so fingers crossed they stop getting involved although I doubt it and I might have to be a bit more forceful.
 
Joined
14 September 2020
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20
I'm not sure why the other liveries are getting so involved as to go in with a lunge whip.
So true Ester op your only getting Livery’s side of the story. Livery’s should not be involved themselves in something that nothing to do with them. Don’t believe everything you Hear from the livery’s they could be telling you that because they don’t like her and want rid of her.
 
Last edited:
Joined
4 May 2020
Messages
31
Location
London/Kent
I have a woman who currently shares my horse 2 to 3 times a week.

She is quite an inexperienced rider - rode as a child but hadn't done much riding in over 25 years. She was looking for something to share and get back into riding and primarily wanted to hack and do a bit of schooling.

They seemed to be getting on well these last 4 months but I've heard from others at the yard that she seems to have lost enthusiasm claiming she wants a more forward horse now and just generally not seeming to enjoy her as much. She's mentioned nothing to me though.

Sharer is not great in the school - doesn't understand simple things like diagonals etc. She had one lesson with my instructor but has done nothing since but has expressed unhappiness to other liveries that she can't get the horse going in the school (cue them being chased round with a lunge whip by these other liveries).

To be candid about my horse - she is very, very laid back and will give you nothing unless you ask correctly and firmly. It took me a few months to get the measure of her but she will hack nicely for me (still on the slow side but responsive and keeps up with others) and after some (but not loads) of consistent schooling she's going much better than when I bought her and probably the best she's ever gone.

Now that its getting dark so early the sharer will be forced to ride in the school more often. I'm not necessarily concerned that she'll undo all my work but the fact that she's putting little effort into improving her riding and just expecting the horse to do what she wants then complaining when she doesn't is a bit frustrating.

I have made the offer that sharer can reduce their days in the winter if they just want to hack but she's not taken me up on this - I'd happily have her pay £10 a week just to hack one day at the weekend.

I don't need the financial contribution - my main reason for getting a sharer was to help manage the horses weight (fat cob) but given the sharer is apparently only hacking her very short distances that defeats the purpose.

Am I being to quick to get rid? I just seems that neither of us are getting what we want out of this arrangement!
Obviously you know her personality maybe explain that before moving onto a horse quicker off the leg she should have more training, like you said if she doesn’t understand diagonals or canter leads etc, she may have a nasty shock on a more forward or tricky horse. Sometimes though ppl that are less experienced say things they don’t mean unfortunately it’s often part of the yard culture which I hate but maybe have a calm chat with her.....if she doesn’t want to put the work in she may get a different loan and get injured. Maybe watch a training session with her, although I have to say I wouldn’t be happy with your mare being chased with a schooling whip!! If she gains experience maybe rounded spurs in the school, but I bet your mare is bored, what about pole work, grid work, 20m circled etc....she needs to know horses get bored too!! :):)
 
Joined
4 May 2020
Messages
31
Location
London/Kent
Exactly. They should have kept out of it.

The way I read it is that the sharer might be a fairly quiet individual, and the other people at the yard are involving themselves in something that isn't their business.
especially as she is relatively novice she may be taking bad advice....I’ve spent years trying to find a quiet but friendly yard where you don’t get dragged into other ppls business!!
 
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