Would you take offence at this?

[ycbm]

cant see your emojis on work pc but im guessing your eyebrows are also in your hairline......... he will continue to gallop with my friends eventer in order to maintain this level of emaciation lol!

PMSL 5 times over! Raf, an RSPCA case..... I do envy you the gallop, I've got a ton of countryside but no gallop.
.

 

[Fred66]

Not so much offended as hopefully her intent was good, however if she was going around the livery yard repeating her opinion to folks I would be annoyed and telling her in no uncertain terms that I had a clear feed and exercise regime that was geared around keeping my horses healthy and free from excess weight related diseases such as laminitis and EMS. I would also be informing her that your vet and farrier had both mentioned how good it was to see someone not following the current trend of keeping horses overweight (you‘re not under oath so stretch the truth if need be) and it’s probably good that she has the nutritionist coming as they will be able to advise her how to improve her horses condition, as it can be hard to enforce a diet safely.

 

[cowgirl16]

I am just wondering - why is she calling out a nutritionist? Could it be anything to do with her lack of knowledge/experience? Whatever the reason - I think I'd love to be earwigging the conversation! Sometimes comments from others can be extremely irritating, however well intentioned they may be. Just smile sweetly - and remember - this lady has SO much to learn!

 

[Keith_Beef]

I am not very quick to take offense, but I was a bit taken aback by the suggestion that I do not feed my horses enough! I pulled up a body scoring chart on the phone and showed her that all 3 would be classed as moderate, but her parting words were 'I'm having a nutritionist come next week, maybe she should look at your horses'

You know your horses, and your vet is happy with their condition on what you're feeding them, so I think you can be confident that they're not "wasting away for lack of nourishment".

If it's convenient for you to be present when her nutritionist comes to visit, then why not get a specialist's opinion for free?

This is, of course, assuming that the nutritionist is competent and independent, and not there to try to push some particular feed or supplement...

 

[Mrs. Jingle]

I would want to tell her to go away and come back in a few years' time when she has learned something about horse management.
For livery yard peace and harmony I would probably smile sweetly and ignore.

Exactly this - but me being gobby me when my blood is up, I probably would have put it a little be more strongly than that.

 

[EllieBeast]

I wouldn’t be offended, no! If I was confident that my horses are of a correct weight and in good health then it’s just an incorrect opinion from someone who has no idea what they’re looking at! I wouldn’t take offence, I’d just smile and continue to go about my day

 

[windand rain]

She would be reporting me to welfare but she finally looks safe to life like a pony should.
from this cresty porker in October

 

[Elno]

people have no idea what fit looks like, i wouldnt be offended i would shrug and ignore.

someone told me my pony is just above an RSPCA call a few weeks ago........this is a young native breed stallion and i thik he looks great, she thought he was "skinny"View attachment 70467

Seriously? ? Looks amazing, I would even go for pretty "well covered".

 

[Abi90]

Most people don’t set out to be mean or rude, most people do mean well. Not all, granted, but most.

I wouldn’t be offended, but I’m not offended easily and I don’t hold grudges. I’d take it for how it was probably meant, knowing your horses are fine, and let it go. It makes life much more peaceful.

 

[Meowy Catkin]

Well done Wind and Rain.

I'm struggling at the moment as the two arabs are such good doers and the anglo is lean and frustratingly often refuses hard feed. Trying to balance that combination is hard.

 

[milliepops]

Most people don’t set out to be mean or rude, most people do mean well. Not all, granted, but most.

I wouldn’t be offended, but I’m not offended easily and I don’t hold grudges. I’d take it for how it was probably meant, knowing your horses are fine, and let it go. It makes life much more peaceful.

so much this.

I must have a "don't tell me stuff" face at livery because in nearly 30 years of horse ownership almost all spent at livery, I can't remember ever getting unsolicited advice. Nor having to have a bust up with anyone over their opinions. it's quite easy to let it all wash over you!

 

[CanteringCarrot]

Eh, I think it depends on the yard and the culture. I've gotten it the most while in Germany, never really got it anywhere else. This could be because it is just the German way to offer unsolicited advice about nearly everything, especially if it is done a different way than you've done it for the past 100 years.
So oddly critical, but not always where it is important, but hey ho.


People definitely favor fatter horses at the yard, especially the dressage riders, but I know my PRE is only a blade of grass away from laminitis if I don't manage his weight and work him regularly when on grass. They're not the ones paying the vet bill and dealing with the devastation of it all, so meh. But I am capable of the ol' "nod and smile" act.

 

[paddy555]

I pulled up a body scoring chart on the phone and showed her that all 3 would be classed as moderate, but her parting words were 'I'm having a nutritionist come next week, maybe she should look at your horses'.


How would you all feel about this and what would you do?

If I had the time and if they had annoyed me I would thank them very politely, say I hadn't realised and ask them to show me what they meant, How would they body score the horse, could they show me. Don't have a chart, no problem, I will just call one up for you. Really get down into intricate detail about the subject. You may of course have found a hidden expert in which case you will learn but most likely they will just trip themselves up, you will get some amusement and there won't be a repeat performance on any other subject.

 

[Hallo2012]

Seriously? ? Looks amazing, I would even go for pretty "well covered".

aye. they are serious inhand showing people though......

 

[meleeka]

people have no idea what fit looks like, i wouldnt be offended i would shrug and ignore.

someone told me my pony is just above an RSPCA call a few weeks ago........this is a young native breed stallion and i thik he looks great, she thought he was "skinny"View attachment 70467

Probably from the sort of person that thinks natives should have apple bottoms and huge, fat crests. Probably also the sort of person that couldn’t see a fit, well covered, useful pony even if it ran them over ?. I think we can safely assume it’s jealousy in this case. He’s in wonderful condition!

 

[SpotsandBays]

How you managed to hold your tongue to the Nutritionist comment I don’t know!

 

[SEL]

I think if someone said my lot were verging on too thin I'd burst into tears and hug them with gratitude.

3 horses on soaked hay and an eaten down paddock and I can't see a rib amongst them. I can do the best eye rolls though if someone dares to suggest muzzles are cruel.

 

[D66]

It is going to be fun listening in to her nutritionist consultation.

 

[little_critter]

Yes, you are right that we should always consider the opinions of others, but in this case I am really satisfied that they are OK. Poor doer pony can sometimes drop below what I consider ideal, but I work very hard to keep her at the right level (she is fed 6am, 11am, 3pm, 7pm and at 10pm gets her nighttime 'soup'. At the moment she looks great to me. Others are one 'average' and one good doer, who I have worked very hard to get fit and keep at a sensible weight. None of them is starved, they have hay in the paddock, and are in at night with plenty of hay, all have some left over in the morning. Good doer gets 2 meals a day and a 'token' lunch, and my 'average' horse gets 2 proper meals and a small lunch. I have no idea why but I now feel that I have to justify to this lady that I am feeding them enough!!

I’d love to know how you get your good doer to look ‘thin’. I’m struggling to shift weight off mine even though I’ve cut back hay and it’s now soaked for 12 hours. I know what I really need to do is more hard work, but (my) work keeps getting in the way. I’m hoping that starting jumping again will help to shift some.

Well I have to say that I don't think that anyone here would say he is 'thin', but both the vet and I are now happy that he is not fat. TBH it has been really hard work and only achievable because I have time, so I have sympathy for you if your work schedule makes it difficult. With mine the only thing that has saved us is keeping him moving. He works twice a day, 9 or 10 days on and then 1 day off, if I feel he is gaining a bit I sometimes take him out a third time in hand while I ride one of the others. Even if I am just taking my old girl for a gentle hack I figure if he is walking alongside us he is not standing still eating! Infinitely easier and more satisfying to manage poor doer, just prepare extra feeds and if I am not there to give them ask someone else to do it. I have an easy set up for this, my field is accessed through a small paddock, so it is just a matter of shutting her in the paddock alone while she eats, and she knows when mealtimes are!

Oh heavens! I'm just going to have to MAKE time to do it. I now have the number of a local gallops and finally have a lorry again so I'll have to make it a regular thing to book the gallops (not to just go flat out, but to have good long stamina work). The tracks round the farm opened up this week so I can easily fit more canters in around them now.

 

[tristar]

well done on having slim horses, i work hard to keep mine slim, its not easy

 

[SatansLittleHelper]

I think I'd potentially be more amused than offended but it's possible she meant well.
Unfortunately, as others have said, we are so used to seeing overweight people and animals that it's a shock to the system to see fit ones..!!!
Well done on having fit horses, it's hard work to get them that way and if you, your vet and your horses are happy then you've found the holy grail ?
As they say "those who know least, know it loudest" ??

 

[PurBee]

I saw a cob for sale recently that had serious ‘bum cleavage’ ...never seen a cob that chubby and the advert said fit horse.
I agree with a lot of you who’ve said that weight standards have shifted and people must be used to seeing chubby horses, so anything lean and fit is ‘thin’ to their eyes.

The context matters when it comes to unsolicited opinions from others: It’s ok if a friend or a known livery asks “are you getting him lean and fit, as he seems to be dropping weight quickly” - compared to an absolute stranger (in this case complete novice horse owner) making a blanket statement “your horse is skinny”.

If i was truly concerned about another’s animal i would express my thoughts with tact, understanding that the person evidently cares. Extreme examples aside - nothing outside our own concerns is our business unless asked.

Would that stranger dare say that about our own child? Another being its our responsibility to care for and be mindful of keeping healthy?

By having a horse we are caring for it, and other horse owners should realise the work that takes, and be more tactful about flying statements off their tongue to oneanother.

The other week, a friend commented on my old dog’s weight who she hasnt seen for a long while. He’s lost weight this past year as he’s really at a grand old age of 17 and coming to end of life. He eats well still, but he doesnt hold weight, because he sleeps a lot more and exercises a lot less so has muscle wastage. I told her this as she thought he was a lot younger than he is! He’s loving scamping about in the spring sunshine and im keeping a hawk eye on his general demeanour as he’s doing amazingly for his age but at that point when he could just take a bad turn.

People can be tactless with opinions. Can’t be offended by that really, as they haven’t yet learnt to communicate compassionately: one of life’s most challenging skills!

 

[maya2008]

I so do not miss livery yards!!! I wonder if she's trying to get extra people to share the cost of the nutritionist?

 

[Minny]

I wouldn’t be offended and I wouldn’t take any notice. I wouldn’t be upset with her. Her opinion is of no consequence to you. I’d just continue as you are. Only time will tell if she is going to be one of these liveries that you would prefer to avoid.

 

[Fjord]

Having bought an extremely overweight pony, then being accused of 'getting too carried away with this anorexic stuff' by the owner of a fat cob, I feel for you. I got the 'she's too skinny, fjords aren't meant to look like that' comments loads, and that was before I discovered her ribs! People feed for love and are so used to seeing fat animals that they can't deal with seeing a slim one.

I'd ignore her but I'd also want to earwig on the conversation with the nutritionist too!

 

[Dreamer2020]

I think she's typical of the kind of person you unfortunately come across on yards sonetimes who has boundary issues & doesn't know what appropriate behaviour is. I would try & force myself to say thank you for your opinion but I know my horses well & I'm happy with their weight thank you ... and hope she gets the message to butt out!! Xx

 

[Winters100]

You know your horses, and your vet is happy with their condition on what you're feeding them, so I think you can be confident that they're not "wasting away for lack of nourishment".

If it's convenient for you to be present when her nutritionist comes to visit, then why not get a specialist's opinion for free?

This is, of course, assuming that the nutritionist is competent and independent, and not there to try to push some particular feed or supplement...

Well that is the funny thing, I found out today that the 'nutritionist' is actually from a feed company. So more what I would call a sales person than a nutritionist! But in line with many suggestions here I think I will go and meet them, and I will specifically ask if my horses are too thin. For sure I will be hanging about to see what she gets told about her horse, because I am quite sure that she will be told that he needs to be dieted ASAP.

 

[Goldenstar]

Theres a huge epidemic of obese horses ,far more horses now a days never work hard and the reality of this is that there owners probably need to spend the whole time trying to reduce their calorie in take .
People eyes now accept fat horses as normal and obese horses as fat .
Ignore her.

 

[Goldenstar]

people have no idea what fit looks like, i wouldnt be offended i would shrug and ignore.

someone told me my pony is just above an RSPCA call a few weeks ago........this is a young native breed stallion and i thik he looks great, she thought he was "skinny"View attachment 70467

At the risk of getting into trouble FFS.

 

[wispagold]

I had a very similar comment when I moved to my last livery yard. The lady with the horse next door to mine decided to tell me that my mare was too skinny. She was a fit TB and it was Feb time so just coming out of winter. When the nutritionist came out with her weigh scales and told the livery that her horse was obese and actually the heaviest horse she had ever weighed the livery decided the nutritionist didn't know what she was talking about...

You can't be offended by people like that. I would be more worried if she thought my horse was in perfect condition!