Would you.....

[dreamchaser]

Put up with being the unpaid groom/stable hand just to keep the peace??

I never used to mind but now have a horse that I am trying to re-start and just dont have the time to do anything for me at the mo. By the time everything is done to the other persons 'standard,( they arent even working just studying??)
Both my OH and I work and still diy.

Said person does b**ger all in return, its too much to tie a hay net or fill a water bucket as there 'baby' would be missing out..

Im looking to move yard as cant put up with it anymore....I have tried raising the issue...POINTLESSLY, she hasnt got a clue!!

 

[albeg]

Are you doing everything? Can they not do their own work? If it's their yard, I'd understand them wanting you to follow certain rules, but not do all the work for nothing.

I'm afraid by doing it in the past, you've probably given the impression that it's ok. Is there any way you can let them know that this arrangement doesn't suit any more?

 

[dreamchaser]

Most days, yes im doing everything....from feeding to riding and everything in between!

In the beginning it was a share, but now with own horse just cant do it.

I've tried to talk about it but she blanks the subject.

She treats her hubby the same way

 

[albeg]

Most days, yes im doing everything....from feeding to riding and everything in between!

In the beginning it was a share, but now with own horse just cant do it.

I've tried to talk about it but she blanks the subject.

She treats her hubby the same way

If that's the case, and it's her yard, I'd probably move if possible...

 

[mandwhy]

You could just tell her you're not doing it anymore because you want to concentrate on your own horse... Not that you need a reason, and then stop doing it! Fair enough helping each other out but not that.

Or you could move yards and don't be so generous next time, you need to suss out whether people who need help are the type to help you when you need it.

I know exactly what you mean when they actually have the cheek to tell you its not to their standard, grrr!!

 

[Littlelegs]

Bit confused, is it a share horse you're talking about, or just another diy livery on the same yard?

 

[dreamchaser]

It's not her yard, we are both diy liveries.

Littlelegs, I used to share with the woman but have own horse now...she has gone to study and i now have my own plus her 2 to do daily.

Am looking at new yard on sunday. I work at the farm and know the other liveries so wont make the same mistake again if we move.

Just annoyed that she takes advantage and when she is about will find any tiny task to do for herself rather than lend a hand

 

[Sugar_and_Spice]

There's no need to move, just tell this woman you can't help her any more. No need to make an argument of it, just say really sorry would love to be able to continue helping but can't (dont offer reasons why, then she can't challenge them). Thank her for the opportunity to ride her horse, say that you'll miss it and give her a weeks notice to find someone else. Then when the weeks up simply stop doing her horse and meet any future requests with - really sorry but I can't; and any demands to know why with - its not convenient. That way you've done all you can to be polite, helpful, friendly and if she takes offence it won't be on your conscience.

 

[Littlelegs]

In that case, I'd do as s&s suggests, & politely tell her you aren't doing anymore.

 

[AmyMay]

As littlelegs...

 

[Star_Chaser]

So long as you've released the loan/share then see no reason why you should be doing it if its not her yard. As the others have suggested.

 

[albeg]

In that case, I'd do as s&s suggests, & politely tell her you aren't doing anymore.

And if that doesn't work, just stop doing her stuff, she should get the message. Any way of letting the YM know, or would you rather it was between the two of you?

 

[dreamchaser]

Ailbheg.. no YM as on a farm so just YO's just leave us to it...

Think my mind has been made and i will be looking to move asap

I can not trust myself not to blow up at her and then get stuck there

 

[albeg]

Ailbheg.. no YM as on a farm so just YO's just leave us to it...

Think my mind has been made and i will be looking to move asap

I can not trust myself not to blow up at her and then get stuck there

It's a shame that you have to move because of her, but if it means you can enjoy your horse without any hassle, maybe it's not the worst.

I hope you find a lovely yard if you do move.

 

[Foxhunter49]

Do your own horse - go home and call her and say that you didn't have time to do ger horses for her so she had better go down and do them.
In the morning do your horse, call her and say you never had time as you had to get to work.

Repeat, repeat and repeat. She will get the point eventually. If she does not go down to do them then really blow your top at her!