wwyd dilemma

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Parisexx

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Hi all, moral dilemma here. I have a 20+ mare that I have owed for 6 years. Long story but didnt realise she was this old when I bought her (passport wrong/fake) .
Dilemma is that I cannot afford her anymore. I need /want to move out of home as im 25 years old and want to start a life of my own. Trouble is what to do with the mare?
She has sweet itch and arthritis but not currently on any medication. I dnt enjoy horses anymore and resent the fact that I could be stuck at home for another ten years or so and me and my OH desperately want a place of our own. Shes a lovely mare and its not her fault :(
Open to ideas please thanks
 
Some people might come on here and suggest you pts but I took on an old horse on permanent loan and lots of other people on this site have done the same and said how great it has been for them. So if I were you I would try and find a permanent loan home for her as a happy hacker. I don't think people would be willing to pay for a horse of that age though.
 
AdorableAlice said:
Give her a decent bucket of grub and put her down at home.
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Afraid that's your only option. You could try rehoming her as a companion but that market is saturated, and the charities are overflowing with welfare cases. Only responsible thing you can do is PTS and realise that horses can live into their 30s.
 
A horse is for life, not just for when it suits you. This is something that you need to think about before you buy a horse, no matter whether you were misled. At some point she still would have got to this age. Putting her down for your own benefit is totally irresponsible. When family become a burden we don't give them a meal and 'put them down'. Sorry, I think that you have to find a solution other than the easy way out above. Charities are over-run because of people not thinking about the consequences of buying a horse.
 
If she is ok to hack I would try to get her a happy hacker type home - if not I think Adorable Alice is right - I wouldnt risk selling her on as you dont know where she will end up.
 
oldjumper said:
Thats what I'd do as well and stay with her to the end. If more people made such a brave decision, we would have fewer neglected old horses.
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Brave? Did you not see the part about the horse NOT being ill. This is a selfish and irresponsible act that is only because the owner can't be bothered any more. That is NOT responsible horse ownership.

I have an older horse and I get fed up with not being able to join in with everyone else jumping and schooling, but my mare is happy and is not ready to die just because I want to do more. She is 24 and could live for another 10 years. I will just have to continue to look after her well and enjoy her company until she is ready to go. Of course I would love a faster model and/or no responsibility, but I took on my mare and so I must look after till the end. I knew that when I bought her as an 8 year old and she has spent the majority of the time out of work or recovering, but that's just what comes with the territory. They are pets first and work animals second. You have to look after them even if they are no longer what you wanted.
 
Sorry forgot to put, she is unrideable as well due to the arthritus in the neck as well. I realise horses are for life not just when they are useful yes she has been retired for nearly two years now. Its keep her and live at home for how ever long which I dnt want to do or something has to happen with the mare x
 
Do u live at home crazy horse??? Are u prepared to live with ur mummy until the horse is old/ill enough to be put to sleep. My OH is totally unhorsey yet doesnt want her put down but we desperately want a place. We have been together 8 years and still cannot afford to move out due to the horse
 
crazyhorse37 said:
A horse is for life, not just for when it suits you. This is something that you need to think about before you buy a horse, no matter whether you were misled. At some point she still would have got to this age. Putting her down for your own benefit is totally irresponsible. When family become a burden we don't give them a meal and 'put them down'. Sorry, I think that you have to find a solution other than the easy way out above. Charities are over-run because of people not thinking about the consequences of buying a horse.
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So speaks someone who has never had a horse which they thought they had rehomed to a really smart yard, with a really nice person who gave references, starved to within an inch of his life.

OP the only way to guarantee this horse a safe future is to have her put to sleep at home.

Whatever you do, do not respond to anyone from south Wales offering a home for life from this forum. Sorry to tar all of you in south Wales with the same brush, but buddy's mummy is a serial offender with many different logins.

Do not feel guilty. If you put your horse to sleep, the few and far between people who might have offered her a secure future will take on another horse from somewhere which will then not be put to sleep. To the totality of horse kind, it makes no difference. To your own pace of mind, it will make plenty.
 
crazyhorse37 said:
A horse is for life, not just for when it suits you. This is something that you need to think about before you buy a horse, no matter whether you were misled. At some point she still would have got to this age. Putting her down for your own benefit is totally irresponsible. When family become a burden we don't give them a meal and 'put them down'. Sorry, I think that you have to find a solution other than the easy way out above. Charities are over-run because of people not thinking about the consequences of buying a horse.
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Having a horse pts is not always taking the easy way out, charities would not be so overrun if people used this option rather than passing "useless" horses on without thinking of the long term future, especially the old and unsound ones, not all can end up as companions.
I think having her pts is the responsible solution, yes in an ideal world they would be kept forever until they die quietly in their sleep but we do have the option of giving a peaceful end to older horses that have come towards the end of their life, many people would actually prefer this option rather than be kept going but that is best kept for another thread.
 
As she can't be ridden then you probably won't be able to rehome her, would your parents look after her if you moved out? If not and you are set on moving out then pts may be your answer, personally though I don't think I could live with myself if I did that, but each to their own
 
crazyhorse37 said:
Brave? Did you not see the part about the horse NOT being ill. This is a selfish and irresponsible act that is only because the owner can't be bothered any more. That is NOT responsible horse ownership.

I have an older horse and I get fed up with not being able to join in with everyone else jumping and schooling, but my mare is happy and is not ready to die just because I want to do more. She is 24 and could live for another 10 years. I will just have to continue to look after her well and enjoy her company until she is ready to go. Of course I would love a faster model and/or no responsibility, but I took on my mare and so I must look after till the end. I knew that when I bought her as an 8 year old and she has spent the majority of the time out of work or recovering, but that's just what comes with the territory. They are pets first and work animals second. You have to look after them even if they are no longer what you wanted.
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Please stop telling the rest of us who do not agree with your views what we 'have' to do.

And please understand that you do what you do with your old horse because it makes you feel good about yourself.

If it does not make the OP feel good about herself or what she is imposing on her partner, then it is my opinion, equally as valid as yours, that the responsible thing to do for all concerned is to put this horse down.
 
Foxy O said:
As she can't be ridden then you probably won't be able to rehome her, would your parents look after her if you moved out? If not and you are set on moving out then pts may be your answer, personally though I don't think I could live with myself if I did that, but each to their own
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You'd seriously choose to do the wrong thing by your partner than offer a dignified end and a pain free future to a disabled horse?

Really???????
 
I think everybody is entitled to their own opinion. I was just saying that if it was my old boy I couldn't bear to part with him just because my OH wanted us to move out and move on. If my horse was suffering then I would pts but if he was happy enough and like this horse, not on any medication then I personally would keep him until it was time to pts but I understand that this person has to make up her own mind.
 
What you do is up to you op and you alone I'm afraid.

I am dreading if I can no longer look after mine as I don't think I could pts as they are healthy even though two are old. I have had a very sick pony pts but I was 100% certain it was the best for him and have never had a moments regret.
 
OP I feel for you as I have an old horse who has been retired for a year now, and I cannot afford another until he passes (I do not live with parents and am self sufficient).

In the summer I have found him a large field which he shares with four other ponies, two of which never leave the field. I do not go down every day (as the field owner does) and he costs me peanuts as he is not fed and I pay basic grass livery. In the winter I pay for him to come on to a yard so that he can be stabled through the wet (he gets chronic mud fever) and be fed so that he doesn't drop weight. In saving money in the summer, I can then afford for him through the winter. I am on a very low wage and I appreciate that I was lucky in finding the field that I have, but maybe you could find a similar set-up? Or all year grass livery if he can live out in winter?

If I could not guarantee his future I would have him PTS.
 
Foxy O said:
I think everybody is entitled to their own opinion. I was just saying that if it was my old boy I couldn't bear to part with him just because my OH wanted us to move out and move on. If my horse was suffering then I would pts but if he was happy enough and like this horse, not on any medication then I personally would keep him until it was time to pts but I understand that this person has to make up her own mind.
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Says a heck of a lot about your relationship if you really would force your OH to continue living with your parents for the sake of an old unrideable horse. Takes all sorts :)
 
As this mare is elderly, and has arthritis to the point that she has been retired for two years already, I would consider PTS for her sake. Maybe discuss her quality of life with your vet first, and arrange to let her have this final summer, if the vet feels that it is for the best. That allows you to arrange everything properly, including disposal. I wouldn't sell her, and if you do loan you will have to allow for them returning her. Another option is retirement livery at grass - would this suit her?

Where moving out is concerned, I think you and your OH should start saving up for a deposit in the area where you want to live. Moving out is really stressful and expensive, so it isn't something to rush. It can take months to find a nice place that suits both people. I also doubt that the cost of keeping one retired horse will cover the cost of running a home, sorry. So you may need to look at the finances too.

All the best to your mare, and hope you figure something out.
 
Can you not find a field/herd to put her in and just leave her to be a horse? I realise this isnt always an option but i paid £14 a week to put an injured horse out to grass, i wasnt obliged to see him everyday as the herd were checked on twice daily, the only extra thing he cost me was a £10 trim every 3 months, thats only a takeway less a week :) if this isnt an option then i would also pts
 
I can see this from all the angles previously stated. In an ideal world we keep a horse for life, all those years ago when OP bought the horse, she wasn't to know what the future held either financially or personally. OP also states she has lost her love of horses so in that sense it is unfair on the horse in question to live out its days unloved and a burden. If I was the OP I would have the horse put to sleep and know in my heart I have done the best thing for the horse, as well as my personal future.

Some of the people claiming the horse must be kept till its dying day is unfair. For example, I love my ponies more than anything, but if anything ever happened to them that meant a considerable amount of time on box rest or colic surgery for example even if a positive outcome in the end was likely, I wouldn't put them through that and would have them put to sleep. Is that wrong? No, of course it isn't, its me making a decision based on the welfare of my ponies and myself, just as the OP is trying to do here.

I don't agree horses should be put down for the convenience of a human, but in this case I think its the kindest option for the horse so the OP can start her future.

Good luck with whatever you choose to do OP. x
 
cptrayes said:
Says a heck of a lot about your relationship if you really would force your OH to continue living with your parents for the sake of an old unrideable horse. Takes all sorts :)
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My husband and I bought a house with land so I can keep the horses at home as he knows how important they are to me and I have a feeling they are growing on him as well as he can't walk past them without making a fuss of them, the pony is only a companion and not ridden but when I go out riding my husband takes the pony for walks or makes a fuss of him
 
Foxy O said:
I think everybody is entitled to their own opinion. I was just saying that if it was my old boy I couldn't bear to part with him just because my OH wanted us to move out and move on. If my horse was suffering then I would pts but if he was happy enough and like this horse, not on any medication then I personally would keep him until it was time to pts but I understand that this person has to make up her own mind.
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The OP isn't only considering it because of their partner, the OP also wants to move out for themselves and is resentful of the horse.

OP I can't say if you'd regret it or not,but for various reasons I have been in the position several times of resenting a horse, but with a change in circumstances I've always been glad I didn't sell or PTS. I think for me it was the poor quality of my life (at the time) that I resented, rather than the horse itself. I just somehow ended up viewing the horse as the problem each time.

In the current market I don't think you have any chance of finding a home for your horse (who would care for her rather than sell on for a profit, I mean). I would PTS if you can't/don't want to keep her any more. Even if you was lucky enough to find a genuinely lovely home, people have a tendency to treat it as a 'loan' situation (even if you sold) and expect you to take the horse back, possibly at short notice, when a problem occurs meaning they can no longer keep the horse and/or it needs to be PTS.
 
Thank u haffiesrock, put it across better than me. I have lost the love of horses unfortunately but still care enough for the mare that she cannot b sold as she will end up god knows where x
 
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