Yard drama

[Annalee]

And to top this off guys the woman who the friend was going to speak to sort out the water being put back on has now cut the water pipe and stopped our supply. Great.
To give context, the lot is on a large “allotment” site. Several lots with ponies and stables on, all water comes from one main lot and she connects the water when someone fills the lot. She then regularly checks the meters and gives out the bills. Fair enough. The friend and her partner did not speak to this woman but chose to connect it they’re selves two months ago and didn’t tell her. Now I’ve been confronted one day, and the water is now turned off. Friend nowhere to be seen. Love it

 

[nagblagger]

I don't know why you still refer to her as 'friend' , she certainly wouldn't be my friend!

 

[Wishfilly]

I think you need to take your pony to somewhere more suitable before winter, and before your pregnancy progresses, so I'd start looking for yards now. I'd also get a vet to scan your mare just to be 100% sure.

Personally, I'd offer the friend two options with the colt- either she pays you before you leave, or you sell the colt, and pay her back the vet's fees etc from the proceeds. I'd tell her it's because you can't afford to be out of pocket, but in reality I'd be worried about the welfare of the colt if she can't pay.

 

[Annalee]

I think you need to take your pony to somewhere more suitable before winter, and before your pregnancy progresses, so I'd start looking for yards now. I'd also get a vet to scan your mare just to be 100% sure.

Personally, I'd offer the friend two options with the colt- either she pays you before you leave, or you sell the colt, and pay her back the vet's fees etc from the proceeds. I'd tell her it's because you can't afford to be out of pocket, but in reality I'd be worried about the welfare of the colt if she can't pay.

I definitely will be now. I’m just trying to get in contact with some local yards for space. I’m only 3 month in and already concerned about the situation, i dread to think how ill feel when I’m heavily pregnant. I think with the pony we’ll end up selling him giving her the vet fees back, my partner having what he’s owed then if there’s anything extra will go towards moving cost.

 

[Juniper Jack]

But think I need to think about what’s right for me, my pony and my baby. If she loses the pony it’s not my problem, we did our part.

You need to do what's right for you, your pony and your baby. You've done more than your part, and if she loses the pony the pony may end up with a person who can actually afford to keep and care for him. I can't imagine any yard taking him in as a stallion unless it's a stud farm.

 

[Annalee]

You need to do what's right for you, your pony and your baby. You've done more than your part, and if she loses the pony the pony may end up with a person who can actually afford to keep and care for him. I can't imagine any yard taking him in as a stallion unless it's a stud farm.

Im definitely looking now for another yard. Just will have to talk to her then. Let her know her options. If she doesn’t step up and pay to keep him he’ll be sold. I can’t afford to geld him and keep him along side my girl. And end of I’ve had her 8 years, she’s not going anywhere, he’a only a yearling and hes such a sweet pony he’ll easily find a new home who’ll look after him

 

[MiJodsR2BlinkinTite]

Some "friend", right?? She is milking you I am sorry to say, left right and centre!! And (sorry to be brutally blunt), you seem to have fallen over yourself backwards to continually bale her out!! Why are you doing this??

My understanding is you bought this pony for her, yes?? So (sorry, am not fully understanding), DID she actually pay you back for it?? From the original post I am assuming that this pony actually belongs to YOU??

Presuming that this pony is still yours, then the solution is simple, surely. MOVE! Take your horses and go to another yard where you can opt for perhaps assisted or even full livery (if your pocket will permit) for as long as you need.

This is truly beyond belief. This "Friend" is nothing but a Bum, end of.

Move on.

 

[Annalee]

Some "friend", right?? She is milking you I am sorry to say, left right and centre!! And (sorry to be brutally blunt), you seem to have fallen over yourself backwards to continually bale her out!! Why are you doing this??

My understanding is you bought this pony for her, yes?? So (sorry, am not fully understanding), DID she actually pay you back for it?? From the original post I am assuming that this pony actually belongs to YOU??

Presuming that this pony is still yours, then the solution is simple, surely. MOVE! Take your horses and go to another yard where you can opt for perhaps assisted or even full livery (if your pocket will permit) for as long as you need.

This is truly beyond belief. This "Friend" is nothing but a Bum, end of.

Move on.

I love your bluntness haha she’s seeming more and more of a bum by the day. Rather cash her pennies in for a can of beer than save towards the pony.

that’s right. My partner paid for the pony and the passport is in his name. She has paid for general keep and vet (passport and vaccines) bills so far but not the cost of buying the actual pony. So she doesn’t actually have any ownership rights to him.

I’m definilty looking for somewhere else now. Unfortunately the pony will be sold as I can’t afford two and I’ll be moving my mare somewhere else. Probably on diy, maybe part livery towards the later part of pregnancy. Or even a part loan to get her ridden again, she’s wasted getting fat in the paddock now

 

[The Fuzzy Furry]

I love your bluntness haha she’s seeming more and more of a bum by the day. Rather cash her pennies in for a can of beer than save towards the pony.

that’s right. My partner paid for the pony and the passport is in his name. She has paid for general keep and vet (passport and vaccines) bills so far but not the cost of buying the actual pony. So she doesn’t actually have any ownership rights to him.

I’m definilty looking for somewhere else now. Unfortunately the pony will be sold as I can’t afford two and I’ll be moving my mare somewhere else. Probably on diy, maybe part livery towards the later part of pregnancy. Or even a part loan to get her ridden again, she’s wasted getting fat in the paddock now

So, have you written his advert yet? I'd crack on asap ?

 

[Bionic Boy]

I agree with dorsetladdet.

You have said your mare is very happy so if you can get a good person to share livery with it can work really well.

Me and a friend share a yard, it is just the two of us with 3 horses. I do the mornings and she does the afternoons. We swap if needs be and cover each other for holidays etc. We have had this arrangement for about 11 years now and works well for us.

 

[Annalee]

I agree with dorsetladdet.

You have said your mare is very happy so if you can get a good person to share livery with it can work really well.

Me and a friend share a yard, it is just the two of us with 3 horses. I do the mornings and she does the afternoons. We swap if needs be and cover each other for holidays etc. We have had this arrangement for about 11 years now and works well for us.

It would be nice I just don’t feel it will work. The old tennant literally used it as a junk yard and there’s several huge piles of just house crap and old furniture, yard equipment, assorts just dumped in the corner of the yard and one in the paddock and I’m terrified they’re gonna get hurt. I can’t move and dispose of it myself and I can’t afford the removal. Also there’s no school or anywhere to section of to use. She all works at the yard down the same lane so would be awkward if bumped into her or she can quite easily just get to the hard herself if things turn sour

 

[throwawayaccount]

unfortunately you’ll need to chalk this down to a lesson learnt & cut your ties; don’t buy a colt for someone who isn't financially stable and seemingly unreliable..! As kind as your intentions were, the situation you’re now in simply isn’t fair. x

 

[LadyGascoyne]

OP, I apologise if this is direct but I feel like it’s important to say.

The only victim in this situation is the poor colt.

You needed a companion so you bought a ungelded cheap youngster as a companion for your mare. That’s not an appropriate situation for the mare, or for the young horse.

You had arranged to sell it to someone who you know cannot afford a horse, has a tricky family life and doesn’t drive. And all because you wanted to split the cost of a yard that you wanted to be on. That’s not fair either, it sounds like your friend should not be spending hard earned cash on a pony right now, and is struggling to sustain it. You have a responsibility to the colt - how was she ever going to be able to sustain caring for him for what could be the next 25-30 years?

You’ve taken on a junk yard environment for the horses to live in. That will always take an investment to sort out. It’s your decision to have horses, and your responsibility to provide a safe environment for them. It isn’t her responsibility - neither of these horses belong to her right now and you made the decision for both of them to be there. You can’t rely on an arrangement like this - she could walk away at any point and you’d always be left with two horses that you own, and a space that you occupy.

I think you need to face up to the fact that both horses are your responsibility, and you are accountable for the situation they are in. You have to make the right decisions for both of them and, yes, that is likely to make you unpopular with her. That’s the consequence of this situation.

I think you need to find the colt a decent knowledgable home, with the correct environment for a young horse. This will be much easier if you can geld him first - if you are able to provide the correct after care re flies etc.

Again, I do apologize if any of this isn’t easy to hear but I feel strongly that horses aren’t disposable items that should be bought for convenience. If you need a companion in the future, then I’d look at loaning one that you can return if need be, or moving to a yard where there is already company. I do wish you and both horses all the best.

 

[dorsetladette]

It would be nice I just don’t feel it will work. The old tennant literally used it as a junk yard and there’s several huge piles of just house crap and old furniture, yard equipment, assorts just dumped in the corner of the yard and one in the paddock and I’m terrified they’re gonna get hurt. I can’t move and dispose of it myself and I can’t afford the removal. Also there’s no school or anywhere to section of to use. She all works at the yard down the same lane so would be awkward if bumped into her or she can quite easily just get to the hard herself if things turn sour

when we took our place on it was full of rubbish and basically a forest of ragwort. We cleared a big enough patch to get the ponies on and then worked from there. Called in a few favours from friends and then got a group of our kids (teenagers) friends together and had a few ragwort pulling and rubbish clearing parties. We put on a BBQ and a few drinks. the kids loved it and we got so much done. Have you got friends or family that could come and help clear up for a similar arrangement? You might not be able to lift anything but you can flip burgers, and point at stuff that needs to be moving/burning/keeping/building/fixing etc.

 

[Annalee]

OP, I apologise if this is direct but I feel like it’s important to say.

The only victim in this situation is the poor colt.

You needed a companion so you bought a ungelded cheap youngster as a companion for your mare. That’s not an appropriate situation for the mare, or for the young horse.

You had arranged to sell it to someone who you know cannot afford a horse, has a tricky family life and doesn’t drive. And all because you wanted to split the cost of a yard that you wanted to be on. That’s not fair either, it sounds like your friend should not be spending hard earned cash on a pony right now, and is struggling to sustain it. You have a responsibility to the colt - how was she ever going to be able to sustain caring for him for what could be the next 25-30 years?

You’ve taken on a junk yard environment for the horses to live in. That will always take an investment to sort out. It’s your decision to have horses, and your responsibility to provide a safe environment for them. It isn’t her responsibility - neither of these horses belong to her right now and you made the decision for both of them to be there. You can’t rely on an arrangement like this - she could walk away at any point and you’d always be left with two horses that you own, and a space that you occupy.

I think you need to face up to the fact that both horses are your responsibility, and you are accountable for the situation they are in. You have to make the right decisions for both of them and, yes, that is likely to make you unpopular with her. That’s the consequence of this situation.

I think you need to find the colt a decent knowledgable home, with the correct environment for a young horse. This will be much easier if you can geld him first - if you are able to provide the correct after care re flies etc.

Again, I do apologize if any of this isn’t easy to hear but I feel strongly that horses aren’t disposable items that should be bought for convenience. If you need a companion in the future, then I’d look at loaning one that you can return if need be, or moving to a yard where there is already company. I do wish you and both horses all the best.

Don’t apologise for saying your option it’s why I asked for advise. Although I don’t feel it’s as simple as that. We had no intention of getting a colt, I was dead set on a filly but we ended up with him only on the grounds he was gelded ASAP, unfortunately he still isn’t ready. As quiet and uncoltish as he is I’ve already said im not particularly comfortable with him being near my mare, it only takes him to jump the paddock and we have a foal on the way.
At the time of buying we were both in better places financially and she promised me she could afford him. Unfortunately she lied and I believed her! More fool me. I’ve now lost my job due to closure and now pregnant which means even if gelded I can’t afford to keep two. I don’t see him as disposable at all! He was bought with all intention of keeping him for life even if she bailed and have him up, just like my mare will never go anywhere. Unfortunately at Thai moment I can’t afford two.
The yard situation is aslo different to initially thought, we thought we could clear but it’s turned out worse than originally thought which is why we can’t.
They are both my responsibility and I know that which is why I’m making the decision to take him off her out of her unacceptable care and find a more suitable home where he can be looked after how he should and same for my horse I will find us a more suitable yard where she is happy and I can look after her better. I’m not putting responsibility on anyone else other than the fact that the agreement was she took him on as her own, she’s failed to keep to that agreement so as my responsibility I’m going to deal with it.

 

[Annalee]

when we took our place on it was full of rubbish and basically a forest of ragwort. We cleared a big enough patch to get the ponies on and then worked from there. Called in a few favours from friends and then got a group of our kids (teenagers) friends together and had a few ragwort pulling and rubbish clearing parties. We put on a BBQ and a few drinks. the kids loved it and we got so much done. Have you got friends or family that could come and help clear up for a similar arrangement? You might not be able to lift anything but you can flip burgers, and point at stuff that needs to be moving/burning/keeping/building/fixing etc.

I’ve been trying to but just can’t get the help. my nephews been with me a few times but a lot of it’s heavy stuff so younger family with struggle. I’d love that but unfortunately not working out that way

 

[Pegasus5531]

This person doesn't sound like much of a friend to me. It sounds very much like she is taking advantage of your good nature. I understand she may have financial issues and such but that's no excuse for letting you down repeatedly with the actual care of the horses. She doesn't sound like the sort of person you want or need in your life so I would put yourself and your horse first.

 

[Lois Lame]

I don't understand why someone would buy a horse of any description for someone who cannot afford the purchase price let alone the upkeep. How was the friend/aquaintence ever going to be able to afford this colt?

I feel it was a mess from the beginning.