YARD DYNAMICS/POLITICS!

[MochaDun]

Just wondering how others cope with tricky personality issues at their yards? Yard I'm on has mixture of ages but with recent influx of younger people in their 20s and rest of us are 40s/50s. No offence to anyone but age groups can see the world differently! I as an older type(!) love the yard because it's the place where I have quality time with my horse, where I come to ride, laugh (my horse is great therapy after work), subsequently keep fit, wallow in the lovely fresh air and enjoy the countryside. The younger ones overall don't seem that keen on riding much, and they use the yard as a different sort of therapy I think, where they can come and gather and chat for hours without riding or as seems to be the case more recently form cliques, swap allegiances more often than I change socks and generally bitch. My older friends at yard tell me not to get sucked into it as they do try and get you to take their sides in their petty arguments but when you share space it's very hard not to be effected by it. While the youngsters may not be my friends and I don't care what they think of me, I don't wish to come across as some grumpy old woman intolerant of the young! However, others like me feel that sadly their behaviour has altered the atmosphere of our yard and it's no longer the friendly place it once was. The young and old are two polarised groups now. So, how do you make yards harmonious places again or am I being unrealistic in my expectation?!

 

[amc]

Mmm... I actually don't think it's about the age thing more the "women with horses" thing, I don't understand what happens to women when they have horses but find they can be the nastiest, bitchiest bunch ever, on the other hand they can be the most supportive, helpful lot too......I could never be on a big yard as I'm to old to put up with the politics of it all and am lucky enough to share with just 2 others.....Sorry not a lot of help to you am I ? Hope you get back to being a happy yard again though, it's supposed to be fun isin't it ?

 

[janet68]

On our yard me and 2/3 other friends just head up there have a laugh and f*ck everybody else as they dont really matter in our lives

 

[janet68]

sorry forgot to mention we are all in our 30s/40s

 

[Fii]

I dont think i could cope with a bunch of horsey woman round me all the time, LOL.

 

[Puppy]

Hmmm, this is one of the reasons why I rent my own yard!

 

[amc]

Exactly !

 

[Rudey]

I'm on a big yard of 25 - 30 liveries. from the age of 5, upto 60+ !!

We all mainly get along, obviously different personalities grind on people, but they just agree to disagree, be polite saying hi's etc... and then just get on with their own thing.

I am in the mid 20's range, but I can see your point! Different generations want different things. The liveries at our yard are all very keen riders, and we all compete, and so we go up to work, and enjoy the horses.

The best advice I was ever told was...

Least Said, soonest mended!

It's a very valued piece of advice, that I have taken on board, and it's true, and it works! xx

 

[Kenzo]

Don't make an issue about it, just carry on doing your own thing, be pleasant with everyone and just remain neutral, they will soon realise that your not interested in their gossip and will just see you as nice cheery middle aged lady, just because you don't get involved doesn't mean to say your a grumpy old woman, I'm sure they will respect you for that more than you think.

 

[Hippona]

Kenzo- thats exactly what I do- it seems to work well because I never really get involved in anything other than having a laugh and getting on with everyone.....but I tend to keep to myself and my horses and do my own thing.

Although at least once a year I have a rant off about wheelbarrows in corridors......

 

[girla]

Its hard when you are on a large yard, because there are so many different personalitys.

I usually just plead ignorance

to any gossip and if any one starts chatting about any one in particular again i just carry on as if i know nothing

about any one, smile

& go about my own business. But i will say one thing i find it upsetting

to see that people can be nasty towards others just because they presume they don't fit in with the so called click

, especially when at the end of the day you all have one thing in common and thats horses.

 

[JenTaz]

i totally know where your coming from the yard im on is quite big and really clique even amognst the adults i hate it so i just keep myself to myself as im not up until silly o clock in the morning to much out before college then about half five when i get home and im only 18 and hate being around every one as you say one thing and lots of wee legs get added on! but i suppose its the territory that comes with being on a yard with people who thinks they are IT makes it even worse when you ask for them to send a text when the pony is going to be in the feild by herself and they let her run around crazy till she needs to be brought in before she injures herself

so yes i just keep myself to myself if they dont like me fine i really dont care ive been at that yard three years and work there so its not my problem

sorry for the long post

 

[wizzi901]

I have recently moved from my own yard with 5 horses to DIY livery at a large local yard. It reminds me why I hated livery yards, however, currently I am very happy there.

There are opinions everywhere, something I didnt miss!, BUT on the whole as long as you get on with your own thing and it doesnt affect your horses welfare, I dont see the problem.

I cannot get into yard politics, bitching, what everyone thinks I should or shouldnt do with my horses, I really am too long in the tooth and enjoy my time with the neddies too much to let anyone elses opinion, some of who havent been with horses as long as me, some who have been in it longer, affect me at all.

I currently have rug and neck rug on ponio as he is pretty much fully clipped and despite being chunky, does feel the damp and cold, some arent even rugging yet. Each to their own, I do what has always worked for me and my animals and dont care what people do with theirs! It is not my business, as it is not their business what i do with mine...let it all go over your head! life is too short!

 

[proctor]

I help out on a busy yard and we have alot of students who come up to learn about horse managment, they are all teenagers, and some of them are lovely, and some of them have right little attitudes and who love nothing more than to sit about and bitch about the others. It annoys me (and because I can't keep my gob shut) have told them so! But more importantly, the best thing is not to bring yourself down to their level, ignore them, enjoy your time with your horse because life is too short to worry about what other people think/say/do!! x

 

[MochaDun]

Thanks for all the advice, I had come much to the same conclusion myself, ie, life too short, ignore them. So I'm doing polite hi/bye's to the awkward ones and leaving it at that. I do seem to attract a few of them to my stable door but if I feel them honing in I just keep moving. They quickly lose interest in walking and talking at the speed I go at to and from tack room, muck heap, etc. Especially when all they get back is a very uninterested "mmm" or an "oh really". In fact I was so wrapped up in my own little horse world the other evening I didn't see my broom on the floor outside the stable (it had fallen over) and tripped over it, went flying!

 

[diggerbez]

i think they have all given you some great advice above OP. i moved yards in may from a place i'd been on for 5 years- the people had changed and it became very bitchy and downright nasty to the point that nobody was speaking to me. it was actually a smallish yard (15 stables) so was horrendous not being part of the clique. my new yard has about 40 horses and i love it...yes there are some people who 'aren't my cup of tea' (and i'm sure the feeling is mutual

) but everyone gets along and is at the very least polite to each other...there is a mix of age ranges and some bitching from teenagers and adults alike but at the moment i've been trying to keep out of it....as i know its how trouble starts!