Ly1327
Active Member
It’s common knowledge that a lot of yards spread gossip like wild fire. What is the best way you find handling people?
Yard Gossip
- Thread starter Ly1327
- Start date
twiggy2
Well-Known Member
Ignore it, say you are not interested and don't spread it.
Barton Bounty
Just simply loving life with Orbi 🥰
‘Oh really’
My phrase of the moment
My phrase of the moment
Sossigpoker
Well-Known Member
So glad to be out of it and to be on a shared yard! The stress from knowing that anything you say will be repeated and exaggerated!
If someone wanted to bitch at me about someone,.I'd just say "oh really/ oh how terrible / wow that's shocking " or similar
If someone wanted to bitch at me about someone,.I'd just say "oh really/ oh how terrible / wow that's shocking " or similar
AmyMay
Situation normal
This.
teapot
Well-Known Member
tristar
Well-Known Member
Barton Bounty
Just simply loving life with Orbi 🥰
Why can’t people just be happy for each other.. help each other
Instead of being bitchy, negative and miserable
tristar
Well-Known Member
Why can’t people just be happy for each other.. help each other
Instead of being bitchy, negative and miserable
i don`t get it either!
Barton Bounty
Just simply loving life with Orbi 🥰
There used to be a few at my last yard who always did it, making people feel uncomfortable with their looks, criticism of riding,
tristar
Well-Known Member
if you live in france against you have kissed everyone 59 times as a greeting you have no energy left for bitching and its harder to be mean to them after you have kissed them
nagblagger
Well-Known Member
Most of the bitchiness is probably due to jealousy.
(I don't have that problem as no one is jealous of my calibre of equine
)
(I don't have that problem as no one is jealous of my calibre of equine
)Surbie
Well-Known Member
Just don't get involved. Engaging feeds the cycle.
Though I do think there is a distinction between yard chattiness and bitchiness. I dislike the latter and steer away from it.
Though I do think there is a distinction between yard chattiness and bitchiness. I dislike the latter and steer away from it.
Elf On A Shelf
...
My yard is the bitchiest on the planet. Granted I keep my lot at home and I do everything with them with no help at all 95% of the time so I only have myself to bitch with and about but by heck! Some of the things that come out of my brain! Jeezo!
Mrs. Jingle
Well-Known Member
Yes me too, yard owner, head groom. Only livery. Always squabbling with myself and bitching about something the head groom cocked up yesterday. 
Ly1327
Active Member
Perfect, response! I always find headphones usually work too! There are always going to people who talk about you even if you do nothing
Most Curious
Active Member
Depends on whose doing the gossiping.
Wearing earphones might make you appear anti sociable.
Wearing earphones might make you appear anti sociable.
Sossigpoker
Well-Known Member
I now share a yard with two dressage riders (mum and daughter). One of them was a national champion at quite a high level a few years back. Yet they don't make me feel uncomfortable to ride in front of then even though I ride like a sack of spuds by comparison!There used to be a few at my last yard who always did it, making people feel uncomfortable with their looks, criticism of riding,
Why can't more people be like that ?
ycbm
Einstein would be proud of my Insanity...
I've been in a few yards and I've never experienced nasty cliques and gossip that other people talk about, so unless I've just been lucky I don't think this happens everywhere. I did once walk round a corner and the two people chatting stopped and looked embarrassed, so it didn't take a genius to work out who they were talking about. That yard was odd in other ways and I left soon after. The best yards seem to have strong yard owners with firm rules.
.
.
lynz88
Well-Known Member
Wasn't there a similar post not too long ago from the same poster on this?
Mrs. Jingle
Well-Known Member
I have just remembered a rather odd experience I had at a very large livery yard somewhere in Staffordshire a few years back.
I had reared a young ID filly over here for 3 years for friends who lived in the UK. When she was ready for breaking I sent her over to them to stay in this livery yard near where they lived.
A couple of months later I went over to visit and see how 'my' filly was settling in. While there my friend took me into the yard tea room that was packed full of liveries all chatting away. The room fell silent the moment we walked in. As is the usual Irish fashion I called out a cheery 'Hi how are you all, beautiful morning out there for riding' .......almost zero response! A couple of begrudgingly muttered Hi's and that was it.
As we left the room much excited and enthusiastic chatter continued again behind us. My friend assured me that was the normal cold response to any new face on the yard. I tried again with the livery alongside their's. Remarked on what a beautiful horse she had as she led it out of the stable (it really was a very handsome horse) she grunted a brief reply I couldn't even hear!
Attempt number three at polite interaction with Staffordshire livery yard natives. Friend introduced me to another livery grooming a young horse that had recently come over from Ireland. I asked which part of Ireland horse from, breeding, age and all the usual interested questions. Monosyllabic answers muttered into their chest, at which point I gave up on the whole livery yard ethos.!
Perhaps it was me, maybe the Irish zest for greeting stranger's jarred. Maybe they just don't like the Irish, who knows
Either way my friends soon moved on to keeping their horse at home, I don't blame them, fancy facing that misery every day!
I had reared a young ID filly over here for 3 years for friends who lived in the UK. When she was ready for breaking I sent her over to them to stay in this livery yard near where they lived.
A couple of months later I went over to visit and see how 'my' filly was settling in. While there my friend took me into the yard tea room that was packed full of liveries all chatting away. The room fell silent the moment we walked in. As is the usual Irish fashion I called out a cheery 'Hi how are you all, beautiful morning out there for riding' .......almost zero response!
A couple of begrudgingly muttered Hi's and that was it. As we left the room much excited and enthusiastic chatter continued again behind us. My friend assured me that was the normal cold response to any new face on the yard. I tried again with the livery alongside their's. Remarked on what a beautiful horse she had as she led it out of the stable (it really was a very handsome horse) she grunted a brief reply I couldn't even hear!
Attempt number three at polite interaction with Staffordshire livery yard natives. Friend introduced me to another livery grooming a young horse that had recently come over from Ireland. I asked which part of Ireland horse from, breeding, age and all the usual interested questions. Monosyllabic answers muttered into their chest, at which point I gave up on the whole livery yard ethos.!
Perhaps it was me, maybe the Irish zest for greeting stranger's jarred. Maybe they just don't like the Irish, who knows
Either way my friends soon moved on to keeping their horse at home, I don't blame them, fancy facing that misery every day!
Barton Bounty
Just simply loving life with Orbi 🥰
There is no way on this planet some folk have not come across bitching! Or they may just be oblivious, not considering how argumentative and belligerent they are 
welshcobabe
Well-Known Member
I do stay on the outskirts of things I am polite to all but I don't engage in any chit chat, I suspect folk think I am a bit stand offish me and my horse don't cause any bother we just do our own thing which on the plus side is good because you don't get involved but sometimes you can also feel a bit of an outsider, despite been on the place the longest of all but maybe that is why I have kept things that way. Rule of thumb unless anything affects me or my horse I don't take up on it if someone said so and so had done this I have no problem in my Yorkshire way of just saying "now't to do with me and walking away".
ycbm
Einstein would be proud of my Insanity...
When I was faced with losing my own place and moving into livery last year, threads like this worried me to the point of losing sleep. Since then, I've been in three different barns in the management of 2 different people in the yard where I am now, and another big yard I went to in order to get herd turnout for a while, and I found the same as I found thirty 32 years previously, that not every yard has bitchy. cliques in them . So I would just reassure people who might be making the same move some time in the future not to worry too much about it, it definitely isn't all yards.
That doesn't help the OP, of course, who has started two threads now a month apart about this. I think my advice about that yard would be to leave if the advice you were given on the first thread hasn't worked.
.
That doesn't help the OP, of course, who has started two threads now a month apart about this. I think my advice about that yard would be to leave if the advice you were given on the first thread hasn't worked.
.
Flame_
Well-Known Member
Answer any comments meant to draw you into unkindness about someone behind their back with a positive, complimentary comment about whoever it is they're trying to engage in putting down and bad mouthing, even just something innocuous like, "I really like that new turnout rug they're just got, I'll have to ask them what make it is", and they'll move on and to try to get some mean and miserable company elsewhere.
YCBM, it's regional/ area based, ime. How nice or unpleasant (unhappy) people are. Put happy, comfortable, satisfied people together with plenty of resources and they'll all get along. Put dissatisfied, struggling, competing people together and they rip one another apart for any and every reason they can discover or invent.
YCBM, it's regional/ area based, ime. How nice or unpleasant (unhappy) people are. Put happy, comfortable, satisfied people together with plenty of resources and they'll all get along. Put dissatisfied, struggling, competing people together and they rip one another apart for any and every reason they can discover or invent.
Last edited:
PSD
Well-Known Member
I find a lot of the ones causing issues are the jealous ones. Every yard will have some form of “yard gossip”, people tend to come to me and tell me all their woes for some reason, but by the time I’ve finished filling my haynets I’ve forgotten what they told me 
The yard I have just left was the worst for gossipers, YM being the worst one. Nice as pie to your face and twisting the knife as soon as you walked away. I always find it’s the ones who have too many horses with lots of problems that tend to like to turn the rumour mill…personal experience of course.
I tend to reply as BB does “oh wow” or “oh gosh really” or “no way!” Tend to be my shut down phrases
The yard I have just left was the worst for gossipers, YM being the worst one. Nice as pie to your face and twisting the knife as soon as you walked away. I always find it’s the ones who have too many horses with lots of problems that tend to like to turn the rumour mill…personal experience of course.
I tend to reply as BB does “oh wow” or “oh gosh really” or “no way!” Tend to be my shut down phrases
bouncing_ball
Well-Known Member
I think it is resources and energy based. I have generally found 7 day part or full livery to be pretty friendly. DIY where people share space for tools / storage / field chores etc be much more gossipy / bitchy.
wiglet
Well-Known Member
Well I’ve been on a few yards - sometimes diy or part, more recently full livery. There have been liveries I haven’t gelled with but on the whole, everyone has been ok. The worst people have been he YOs - always bonkers, absolute fruit loops and the YMs - always on a power trip and changing the rules depending on how much in favour you are (never for me!). My last YM took great delight in bitching non-stop with her cronies about how rubbish me and my horse were. I’m on a diy yard now, just a small yard of 8. We all get on and help each other out. No bitching. Happy days!
motherof2beasts!
Well-Known Member
livery yards can be toxic environments that remind me of school playgrounds. I think it’s usually jealousy bit too much time on their hands. I am always shocked the amount of equestrians that don’t work, and slightly jealous of that . Overall though I find ignorance is bliss , I am friendly but just not quite friendly or exiting enough to gossip about. I also don’t ask their advice as I have a number of people I trust for advice and stick to them.
I find wherever I’ve been there’s always at least a couple of women who don’t like one another and seem to be in some kind of competition, Slightly reminds me of herd dynamics.
. Overall though I find ignorance is bliss , I am friendly but just not quite friendly or exiting enough to gossip about. I also don’t ask their advice as I have a number of people I trust for advice and stick to them.I find wherever I’ve been there’s always at least a couple of women who don’t like one another and seem to be in some kind of competition, Slightly reminds me of herd dynamics.
Rowreach
Adjusting my sails
I'm the topic of conversation at the moment. Quite interesting, what I've apparently been up to. This is why, as a YO, I never had DIYers