YO doesn't like our youngster..

[I See Clover]

Between us, my mum and I have 2 horses, one of them being a 2 year old cob x irish sport horse which we keep on a small yard with 2 other liveries. The YO is or was a dressage judge whom we get along well with.

However from the get go, she has never liked our youngster. She thinks he is not right for my mum as he is not forward going enough and all he would ever really be is a plod. YO has told my mum she should sell him. He doesn't really have much respect for your space and he seems to be fairly insensitive (if I give him a smack for being naughty he doesn't blind an eye lid). When putting him out in the field in the morning he likes to have a good look about and wouldn't really concentrate on where he was going. He would sometimes pull you to get to the grass sometimes, but he would never try and take off or never put up much of a struggle. Anyway, I personally think he has improved as he doesn't do this anymore and goes out/comes in no problem.

We had the farrier come on Friday to trim his feet (YO uses the same farrier). When the farrier attempted to pick up his back feet he kicked the farrier. I wasn't there but my mum said the farrier went flying into the wall of the stable so must have been pretty bad.

When we first moved to the yard a friend recommended a farrier to use who trimmed our youngster's feet for the first time. He trimmed them far too short (the same with our mare who ended up lame) and so I'm thinking he has that etched in his mind and that is why he kicked.

Anyway, YO found out what happened. She said that our youngster was far too dangerous and would end up doing some serious harm if we kept him. She said she was starting to dread turning him out in the morning before the groom started working and said she is getting to the point that she doesn't really want him on the yard anymore. She said he was really slow (both physically and mentally) and if he were human he would be autistic

YO has told my mum a good few times to sell him, but my mum wanted to persevere with him. However, now she is deciding to sell him to a dealer who is YO's friend for a complete pittance.

I'm annoyed with YO as I feel like she has really given my mum no other choice but to sell him. There aren't many yards near home and there is always waiting lists. My mum said she isn't selling due to what the YO has said, but I really don't think this is the case as she was so persistent on persevering.

What bothers me the most is that he isn't even dangerous! Yes he kicked the farrier which is definitely not on, but that's the worst thing he has ever done. He is very quiet in the stable, he really doesn't cause any bother. I just don't understand how he is dangerous and how she wants him off the yard I feel like it's more because he doesn't come up to her own standards and fit in with the rest of the horses so he can't be there.

I feel unbelievably frustrated because there is nothing I can do

Sorry for the rant.

 

[Capriole]

Im wondering if she actually does like him after all, the thing about him being sold to her friend for a pittance raises a red flag for me. Id suggest if your mother does decide to sell she doesnt sell to the dealer but advertises him properly and publicly. Personally I wouldnt be selling my horse because someone else doesnt like him anyway, Id be moving instead before that.

 

[LollyDolly]

She said he was really slow (both physically and mentally) and if he were human he would be autistic

That statement offends me to no end.

 

[horsesatemymoney]

Hmm sounds like you're being set up.....move him or turn away don't sell!

 

[MissChaos]

That statement offends me to no end.

This. I'm confused as to how on earth your YO would draw that comparison. It's ridiculous.

Why has your mum said she's decided to sell?

 

[I See Clover]

Im wondering if she actually does like him after all, the thing about him being sold to her friend for a pittance raises a red flag for me. Id suggest if your mother does decide to sell she doesnt sell to the dealer but advertises him properly and publicly. Personally I wouldnt be selling my horse because someone else doesnt like him anyway, Id be moving instead before that.

The dealer isn't really much of a friend, more a person she has dealt with a lot in the past. My mum sold a horse to said dealer 4 years ago or so and didn't get a lot for him either.

She is saying she is doing it due to money being tight, but I feel like it's just an excuse as we are no worse off than we were when we first bought him.

I have tried to convince her to sell him privately, but she won't listen.

That statement offends me to no end.

Me too, my jaw hit the floor.

 

[Goldenstar]

If the YO does not want the horse on her yard then your mum must sell or move .
A YO should never have to keep a horse she's uncomfortable with on her property.

 

[Shysmum]

Poor, poor horse

I would tell this YO where to stick her yard, and her backhander deal (cos mark my words, there is a buyer waiting to snap that horse up at this dealers), and get the hell out of there.

NO horse deserves that sort of treatment, and tbh, I'm surprised you are still there !

 

[I See Clover]

We have known YO for about 8 years and I genuinely don't think she is setting us up. I just think she doesn't like him so doesn't want him on the yard. I have always known she has been very picky with what liveries she takes in, but I didn't think it would be the same with the horses.

 

[spike123]

I'm afraid I agree with all the other posts in that the YO seems to have an ulterior motive for wanting rid of him. All youngsters will go through a testing phase and tbh if the YO doesn't like him how do you know for sure that isn't feeding through to the youngster hence she is having problems. I'd also want to move him elsewhere as far away from your YO as possible.

 

[Meowy Catkin]

Oh for flips sake this sort of rubbish really winds me up! the YO sounds like a nasty piece of work and the horse sounds like a two year old (which he actually is).

I would keep the horse and move yards.

 

[Kallibear]

Reading between the lines it sounds like he's a rude, bad mannered brat who's rhino skinned and frustrating to work with. I know the exact kind of horse and can't stand them either.

I suspect you let him walk all over you (like making excuses as to why he kicked the farrier hard enough to send him flying....... ) and he's not the right horse for you, so selling and getting something more suitable may be the best idea. I prob wouldn't be sending him to a dealers though.

 

[I See Clover]

If the YO does not want the horse on her yard then your mum must sell or move .
A YO should never have to keep a horse she's uncomfortable with on her property.

I am not saying she does. I just needed to rant and express my frustration since there is nothing I can do.

Poor, poor horse

I would tell this YO where to stick her yard, and her backhander deal (cos mark my words, there is a buyer waiting to snap that horse up at this dealers), and get the hell out of there.

NO horse deserves that sort of treatment, and tbh, I'm surprised you are still there !

My mum thinks she is too old to have a youngster to do him any justice and I think whatever the YO has been saying to her has pushed her over the edge.

I would do anything to keep him, but I don't have the time nor the finances.

 

[Littlelegs]

One the one hand, the set up with selling to her dealer mate & the autistic comment are strange. But on the other hand, a bad mannered horse is a pain in the backside, a 2yr old with no manners can easily become a dangerous 4yr old, so perhaps that's yo's reasoning.

 

[I See Clover]

Reading between the lines it sounds like he's a rude, bad mannered brat who's rhino skinned and frustrating to work with. I know the exact kind of horse and can't stand them either.

I suspect you let him walk all over you (like making excuses as to why he kicked the farrier hard enough to send him flying....... ) and he's not the right horse for you, so selling and getting something more suitable may be the best idea. I prob wouldn't be sending him to a dealers though.

One the one hand, the set up with selling to her dealer mate & the autistic comment are strange. But on the other hand, a bad mannered horse is a pain in the backside, a 2yr old with no manners can easily become a dangerous 4yr old, so perhaps that's yo's reasoning.

I am not making up excuses for him, I think I've been rather honest about the situation.

When I say he has no respect for your space it's more because he is clingy. He can be naughty sometimes, but so are all 2 year olds. We never let him away with anything when he's like that.

On all other counts he is well behaved. He shows up our 11 year old mare half the time!

 

[Meowy Catkin]

So why doesn't the YO offer some support and help rather than just making caustic comments?

 

[charlimouse]

If the YO does not want the horse on her yard then your mum must sell or move .
A YO should never have to keep a horse she's uncomfortable with on her property.

This. TBH if the yard owner is not happy handling the horse why should she risk an injury? Surely if she is unsure of him it is better she tells you and asks you to move him (or if she knows you well and really doesn't feel he is suitable, suggests selling him), rather than struggle on and risk an injury or not do the job you are paying her for because she is not happy to do it? If she is not confident handling him, surely he will pick up on this and his behaviour deteriorate = viscious circle. I would be pleased she has flagged up that she isn't happy deling with him! I don't think the YO has an ulterior motive at all. I think by the sounds of it she wants what is best for you and your Mum, and if in her (experienced?) opinion she feels you may be better selling him what is wrong with her mentioning it to you (granted it wasn't in the most diplomatic way!)? You don't have to sell, and it is up to you.

At the end of the day it is her yard, and it is up to her what horses she has on it.

 

[Bikerchickone]

Unfortunately, all other things aside he's your mum's horse so she can sell him to whoever she wants to sadly. I also agree with LL though, a bad mannered horse is horrible to handle, especially when it isn't even yours, and if you haven't managed to clamp down on it yet things will only get worse as he grows and gets stronger. I've had both my current horses from a year old and always been very careful to put basic manners in place asap.

Maybe it's worth getting some help with the groundwork to do this and see if that changes yo's mind about him.

 

[Goldenstar]

So why doesn't the YO offer some support and help rather than just making caustic comments?

Because she does not like the horse she distrusts it and does not want it on her yard it's her yard that's that.

 

[I See Clover]

So why doesn't the YO offer some support and help rather than just making caustic comments?

I have no idea. She doesn't think he has made any improvement since he has came here, but I entirely disagree.

This. TBH if the yard owner is not happy handling the horse why should she risk an injury? Surely if she is unsure of him it is better she tells you and asks you to move him (or if she knows you well and really doesn't feel he is suitable, suggests selling him), rather than struggle on and risk an injury or not do the job you are paying her for because she is not happy to do it? If she is not confident handling him, surely he will pick up on this and his behaviour deteriorate = viscious circle. I would be pleased she has flagged up that she isn't happy deling with him! I don't think the YO has an ulterior motive at all. I think by the sounds of it she wants what is best for you and your Mum, and if in her (experienced?) opinion she feels you may be better selling him what is wrong with her mentioning it to you (granted it wasn't in the most diplomatic way!)? You don't have to sell, and it is up to you.

At the end of the day it is her yard, and it is up to her what horses she has on it.

I quite agree, I'm not disputing the fact that it's her property and if she doesn't want a horse on her yard she is well within reason to request its removal. Like I said previously I am just expressing my frustration over the situation. He is not dangerous and she doesn't handle him. The groom puts him out a couple of mornings a week (I do the other days). Both our horses are on DIY, so YO doesn't have any dealings with him.

 

[charlimouse]

My mum thinks she is too old to have a youngster to do him any justice and I think whatever the YO has been saying to her has pushed her over the edge.

I would guess reading between the lines (and I may be woefully wrong, and if so I am very sorry, but this is my experiance) your Mum has prehaps had the thought the he may not be the horse for her in her mind for a while, and what the YO has said has confirmed it in her mind that selling may be the best option. I know the one time I have ever tentively suggested to a client they sold a horse as I thought they weren't suited, they were actually relived when I said it! In the end they sold the horse (and took a big loss), but ended up buying the most lovely little horse (far alot less money!), and they have, so far, had 2 years of fantastic fun!

 

[Queenbee]

Don't know what you're still doing there giving her money for being a cow...

she sounds like a right nasty piece of work

move...

 

[Meowy Catkin]

Because she does not like the horse she distrusts it and does not want it on her yard it's her yard that's that.

I think that I'm seeing this from a different angle. This is mainly because I have put up with years of anti-chestnut mare comments from experienced horse people. They insisted that she was dangerous, a liability, nuts, only good for dog food etc... when there wasn't a darn thing wrong with her, it literally was just prejudice on their parts.

I've also had a lot of stick about my gelding (again he's dangerous, unruly, nuts etc...) but he's really not awful at all. He's just young, excitable, over confident and was in need of training. He's come on so well and is actually a really well behaved little lad now.

I think that the OP needs to sit down with her Mum and really work out what's going on here. Is the horse really dangerous or not? None of us can really judge because we haven't met him.

 

[Tiffany]

She's entitled to her opinion but he's your horse and you like him so your decision - end of! If he's a horse lover and dressage judge why is she making such negative comments? He might not be her type but so what, if she continues to criticise him I'd be looking for a new yard otherwise you'll stuggle to get the best out of him

 

[Goldenstar]

I think that I'm seeing this from a different angle. This is mainly because I have put up with years of anti-chestnut mare comments from experienced horse people. They insisted that she was dangerous, a liability, nuts, only good for dog food etc... when there wasn't a darn thing wrong with her, it literally was just prejudice on their parts.

I've also had a lot of stick about my gelding (again he's dangerous, unruly, nuts etc...) but he's really not awful at all. He's just young, excitable, over confident and was in need of training. He's come on so well and is actually a really well behaved little lad now.

I think that the OP needs to sit down with her Mum and really work out what's going on here. Is the horse really dangerous or not? None of us can really judge because we haven't met him.

Agree OP needs to talk to her mum.
But taking the YOers side one thing I have learnt is when a horse gives you that wrong feeling listen to it it's her yard .
I feel OP she clearly has feeling for the horse and I think the post above about how someone saying something to you can make you see things you have been avoiding saying to yourself may well be where OP's mum is.
As you say we have not seen the horse so can't judge .

 

[FRESHMAN]

I have no idea. She doesn't think he has made any improvement since he has came here, but I entirely disagree.



I quite agree, I'm not disputing the fact that it's her property and if she doesn't want a horse on her yard she is well within reason to request its removal. Like I said previously I am just expressing my frustration over the situation. He is not dangerous and she doesn't handle him. The groom puts him out a couple of mornings a week (I do the other days). Both our horses are on DIY, so YO doesn't have any dealings with him.

Doh You actually admit that she does not handle him, "Her Groom" does. Who is responsible for her grooms safety. YO of course! The YO has to do a risk assesment on every single task her employees undertake. If the groom gets hurt will you pay her wages & do her work for the YO.
No I didn't think so.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

If I were you, OP, I'd make sure that you or your mum are the only ones to handle the horse, make sure that you handle him consistently, instilling good manners into him. I do not know either your mum or the horse but I'm not sure why a less than forward going horse would be considered unsuitable for a not-in-the-first-flush-of-youth person to break/bring on for their first time (I assume). YO is not going to have to ride this horse, is s/he? So I'm not sure what her concerns are.

 

[flirtygerty]

If it is the YO gut instinct, listen to her, sell privately though.
I had a similar senario but with a Belgian Sheperd dog, i cared for up to 20 death row dogs for a local dog rescue, on day to day handling, this dog would snap at invisible flies, I would just hear his jaws snapping shut, I did keep a diary on all the dogs as it helped with re homing, I mentioned in the diary that I wasn't sure I trusted this dog, another entry was I definately didn't trust it, there was just something that set alarm bells ringing, he went on to attack anyone close to him for no apparent reason, including my daughter who was just holding his lead, he went first for her arms, then her thighs, he attacked one of the rescues helpers when she was grooming him she had to keep him at arms length, as she was sitting down and the dog was going for wherever he could reach.
Not an easy situation to be in

 

[Springy]

That statement offends me to no end.

Yes what a stupid thing to say!!!! and from someone who thinks they are knowledgeable????

 

[Littlelegs]

By dangerous I don't mean ops horse is a raving psychopath & yo has used her 6th sense to ascertain that. Just that bad mannered horses are dangerous. Give me two highly strung fully fit sports horses to turn out over a bad mannered plod anyday!
And I also agree with flashman. On a small livery yard, chances are grooms on min wage for yard work, not in the role of someone expected to deal with badly behaved horses. If he's booted a farrier, I can see why yo would be concerned about the groom.