YO stalking FB!

Joined
9 February 2019
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6
In 33 years of horse ownership I have only come across one good livery yard owner (unfortunately now disabled due to a riding accident - lovely, very capable lady) and one sort of okay one. Current one is in your face and in your business. Has now ordered me to remove a FB post because she didn't like it. Didn't name the yard or any individuals. I have very few FB friends and none are local. Have now blocked the woman from seeing posts. Bat shit crazy or what? Last night she was extremely rude to one of the other liveries on the yard group chat. Don't they get that we are their customers???!!!
 

popsdosh

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Joined
7 November 2008
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6,382
FB again in my view the source of all evil.
To be honest if the OP had said anything derogatory they will be lucky the YO only wants it removed. Try using messaging unless you really want your comments seen!

By the way if you put it were it can be seen on social media how can you call it Stalking ? im curious
 

JennBags

Chief Photograph-Poster
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21 May 2002
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14,595
Location
West Sussex
I think you must have been spoilt Auslander, or you're judging other YOs by your own high standards!
We're a captive audience and it's nothing like a normal business. I've now got my own land, thank God, but my old YO used to drive me crazy. I set up a FB group once for liveries to organise hacking out, shared vet visits, shared dentists and suggestions for clinics. She went crazy when she "found out" (it wasn't a secret but she didn't do FB) and ordered me to take it down, telling me I was trying to run her business for her. There were many things over the years, but as there aren't really any other comparable yards within 20 miles, she could treat us all how she wanted and her stock answer to any complaint was "if you don't like it, leave".
 
Joined
9 February 2019
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6
You are probably right, although I was with the lovely lady for a long time and the okay one for longer. Had one who used to blame my horse and shout at me if her horse came in muddy, one who shouted at the liveries if they complained that yet again there had been no electric for over a week in the middle of winter, one that thought it was okay if your horse got soaking wet in the rain, in the stable! One that moved my horse into a stable that had just been painted and was still wet, then parked her lorry in front of the stable so I couldn't get in and my horse couldn't get out, and one who used to continually forget to do people's horses!! Pray tell me where to look.
 
Joined
9 February 2019
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6
Popsdosh. Nothing derogatory about the yard or any of the liveries (who are all lovely). Was complaining about someone dumping their daughter on me without even asking. Not even a livery. But I am the baddie because I dared to complain about being an unpaid child minder?
 
Joined
9 February 2019
Messages
6
Actually, only set up a FB page on her insistence because she wants to use group chat for the yard. Yard had only been open since June and there had already been quite a high turnover, including her mate leaving. Seems YO already has a reputation locally too :( I am a laid back, easy going person, look after my horse, pay my bills on time.
 

popsdosh

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Joined
7 November 2008
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6,382
I think you must have been spoilt Auslander, or you're judging other YOs by your own high standards!
We're a captive audience and it's nothing like a normal business. I've now got my own land, thank God, but my old YO used to drive me crazy. I set up a FB group once for liveries to organise hacking out, shared vet visits, shared dentists and suggestions for clinics. She went crazy when she "found out" (it wasn't a secret but she didn't do FB) and ordered me to take it down, telling me I was trying to run her business for her. There were many things over the years, but as there aren't really any other comparable yards within 20 miles, she could treat us all how she wanted and her stock answer to any complaint was "if you don't like it, leave".
Whilst I have sympathy and I do. I have been on the other side setting up a yard . We tried to be laid back and help people LOL its not all but some liveries try to take over running the business including the farm it was on . We had the answer but it was sad for those who werent a problem. Sadly it seams the less of a service you offer the more they expect to be in control.
A friend has a yard which is strictly full liveries and wont even contemplate anything less!
 
Joined
9 February 2019
Messages
6
FB again in my view the source of all evil.
To be honest if the OP had said anything derogatory they will be lucky the YO only wants it removed. Try using messaging unless you really want your comments seen!

By the way if you put it were it can be seen on social media how can you call it Stalking ? im curious
Like I said I only set up the account at her insistence. Not sure how these things work. Thought I had set up the account so only certain people could see the posts.
 

Rosiejazzandpia

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Joined
1 December 2012
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1,967
Block and unfriend her if you dont want her seeing what you post online. I have my Facebook for family and close friends only, I even have that in my biography on Facebook so random band members my husband knows don't send me friend requests.
I wouldn't use a Facebook yard group chat if the Yard Owner was like that, if she asks you to join just say you dont use Facebook that much or that you only use it for family.

I've been on drama yards and thank God it was before the huge influence of social media,I wouldn't have handled that. Now I have my three yard buddies on Facebook so we can like each others photos of horses and invite each other to whichever local horsey carboot is coming up. Thankfully my yard owner is in her 60s so doesn't use Facebook and doesn't involve herself in liveries online lives
 
Joined
9 February 2019
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6
Rosie, you talk such sense. I have now blocked and unfriended this woman. And I think I will do what you do. All the yard information is posted on the group chat so I don't have much option. The woman who dumped her kid on me shouted at my horse recently but apparently that's okay 🙄🤔
 

popsdosh

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7 November 2008
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6,382
Rosie, you talk such sense. I have now blocked and unfriended this woman. And I think I will do what you do. All the yard information is posted on the group chat so I don't have much option. The woman who dumped her kid on me shouted at my horse recently but apparently that's okay 🙄🤔
Sorry I dont see why the kid is a problem that needs dealing with on social media? Tell her to look after her own brat face to face.
 

ester

Not slacking-multitasking
Joined
31 December 2008
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Location
Cambridge
I don’t think the OP is using social media to deal with the kid? We all need a vent sometimes!

OP Facebook has a multitude of settings for viewing, I make full use of them ;) it just seems it wasn’t quite as you thought it was.
 

popsdosh

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7 November 2008
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6,382
Popsdosh. Nothing derogatory about the yard or any of the liveries (who are all lovely). Was complaining about someone dumping their daughter on me without even asking. Not even a livery. But I am the baddie because I dared to complain about being an unpaid child minder?
Thats what I based my reply on ester!
 

WandaMare

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Joined
3 August 2009
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2,869
I would just say to her that you were sorry she was offended and that you will take the post down, then don't. If she asks about it again just say you did, the pages must be cached or something.
 

Pearlsasinger

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Joined
20 February 2009
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22,637
Location
W. Yorks
OP, if I've understood this correctly, the FB page was intended to be the yard's page, for arranging group hacks, worming dates etc. I can understand that YO doesn't want it to be used for moaning about unrelated stuff. I think the problem is that you are looking at it as your page while YO intended it to be the yard's page. Perhaps you need to keep your own page completely separate.
 
Joined
5 February 2016
Messages
514
Rosie, you talk such sense. I have now blocked and unfriended this woman. And I think I will do what you do. All the yard information is posted on the group chat so I don't have much option. The woman who dumped her kid on me shouted at my horse recently but apparently that's okay 🙄🤔
So the woman and child is at your yard, so it is connected.

General rule with social media, is never say anything you haven't / wouldn't say face to face, and don't want anyone knowing.

If woman is at your yard, can see why YO asked you to remove it, it is inappropriate, unless you have your settings locked.

I don't think you should block your YO on facebook, if I did that, I would be unable to see any of her posts on my yard's facebook group, and would be left in the dark missing stuff.

If you yard use a FB page, not group, you might be okay blocking her. But if she posts on the group page or replies you might miss it. Which in my case would mean missing out on key information.
 
Joined
5 February 2016
Messages
514
In 33 years of horse ownership I have only come across one good livery yard owner (unfortunately now disabled due to a riding accident - lovely, very capable lady) and one sort of okay one. Current one is in your face and in your business. Has now ordered me to remove a FB post because she didn't like it. Didn't name the yard or any individuals. I have very few FB friends and none are local. Have now blocked the woman from seeing posts. Bat shit crazy or what? Last night she was extremely rude to one of the other liveries on the yard group chat. Don't they get that we are their customers???!!!
Reminds me of a row with my father in law. He didn’t understand how Facebook and walls work. He had his settings to email him whenever one of his friends posted on their walls. I made a Brexit related post a few years ago when the result was first in, it was an emotional reaction. He took it as a very personal insult and replied on my wall, telling me I had offended him. I replied something along the lines that it was my belief and I was entitled to hold it and state it.



He felt I had personally insulted him, he didn’t appreciate a wall post isnt aimed directly at him. Because he was emailed the post through his settings, into his inbox, he felt it WAS personal. Took six months for him to calm down.
 

Arzada

Active Member
Joined
10 April 2012
Messages
623
I think I'd be wondering why I'm doing things that I seemingly don't want to do eg having a child 'dumped' on me, being an unpaid child minder, setting up a Facebook account at someone else's 'insistence', listening to someone shouting at my horse. Then I'd be working on my assertiveness.
 

WandaMare

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Joined
3 August 2009
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2,869
Reminds me of a row with my father in law. He didn’t understand how Facebook and walls work. He had his settings to email him whenever one of his friends posted on their walls. I made a Brexit related post a few years ago when the result was first in, it was an emotional reaction. He took it as a very personal insult and replied on my wall, telling me I had offended him. I replied something along the lines that it was my belief and I was entitled to hold it and state it.



He felt I had personally insulted him, he didn’t appreciate a wall post isnt aimed directly at him. Because he was emailed the post through his settings, into his inbox, he felt it WAS personal. Took six months for him to calm down.
Facebook and Brexit, what a nightmare combination!
 

Fred66

Active Member
Joined
15 February 2017
Messages
462
Has now ordered me to remove a FB post because she didn't like it. Didn't name the yard or any individuals. I have very few FB friends and none are local. Have now blocked the woman from seeing posts. Bat shit crazy or what? Last night she was extremely rude to one of the other liveries on the yard group chat. Don't they get that we are their customers???!!!
Am I right in thinking that the post she has objected to relates to you being dumped on by another livery in regard to child care ?

If so then I think in this respect she is within her rights to ask you to take it down. It could quite easily lead to ill feeling on the yard and therefore it could impact on the yard.

Personally I think facebook can be great but it is not really the place to vent about individuals.
 

conniegirl

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Joined
3 November 2004
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4,619
Am I right in thinking that the post she has objected to relates to you being dumped on by another livery in regard to child care ?

If so then I think in this respect she is within her rights to ask you to take it down. It could quite easily lead to ill feeling on the yard and therefore it could impact on the yard.

Personally I think facebook can be great but it is not really the place to vent about individuals.
I don't think she would be entitled to ask the OP to take it down.
Its the OP's wall, the OP's opinions and clearly there is already ill feeling at being dumped on so it is already affecting the yard even without the post.
It might just make the guilty party sit back and think, or prevent the OP being dumped on in future.
 

{138171}

Out to Pasture
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24 January 2019
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0
My yard owner is typical old school, if there is any issue she will speak to you alone face to face, then its delt with. There is a full livery lady on the yard who likes to meddel in everyone else's business. It's seriously annoying and I do my best to avoid her. She monopolises the yard owners time and seems to think her horse is the only one there. It grates on everyones nerves and as its an American barn set up in a court yard shape you can't really get away from each other. Luckily she is at the top end am I am in the bottom corner. Our YO is great as she will help anyone out in whatever way she can whether on Full Livery or DIY
 
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