You CAN Overcome Fear...

Coblover63

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I came off my pony jumping when I was 19 and it scared me. I then sold him at 21 to get a mortgage, get married and have a family. 21 years later, kids grown up, divorced and remarried, I came back to horses in 2005. My jumping fear festered for all that time.

18 months ago, I sold the 7yo traddie cob I had owned since he was 11 months old after the gradual realisation that he wasn't my "one". I decided to take some time out, have holidays, lie-ins, see a bit of the UK at last! Within a fortnight I was bored stiff! A fortnight after that I bought a mare from a dealer....I don't do mares...or dealers. But this dealer didn't lie and my mare has been everything she was described...and more. I worship her.

Having tried various things to overcome my now 35 year old jumping fear (despite everything I still wanted to be able to pop a small fence) in desperation I booked my 54yo cynical body in for a session of brain retraining. I was told it would take about an hour and I was in with her for 2.5. I came out feeling just as terrified at the thought of jumping as when Is gone in. Waste of time and money, I thought. However, 48 hours later, cogs began to turn in my mind...and I found myself WANTING to jump. I won't bore you with the minutiae, but suffice to say, we progressed together (mare was only 6 so green) and found....dare I say it....a love of jumping! Coloured and natural fences, water, ditches, steps, the lot!!

The reason I'm writing this is to share the fact that yesterday, we went to our first stab at SJ. We haven't done any jumping over the winter because of saddle issues, the weather and mud fever, except for a short practise last weekend. So yesterday I just booked us in for a 45cm starter round. Well, we went clear! And yhen I had to do my first ever jump off! And we went clear again.....and it turned out that we had also gone the fastest.... and we won the class!! Gobsmacked didn't cover it.... and I'm not ashamed to tell you that I promptly burst into tears...because of how far I've come. Im do proud of my plucky little fat cob.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that you really can overcome your fears, if you find the right help for you. I choose fun now, not fear.
 

OrangeAndLemon

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Well done and thanks for sharing. I've always been a nervous rider so I think I'll take a look at this.

My horse is a saint and I think I owe it to him to be better.
 

SEL

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That's fantastic - I think I need to do the same for hacking on roads. Not sure why I've built up such a big block about it...
 

Rumtytum

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12 November 2017
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Absolutely fantastic! Can imagine the shock and the pride you felt, well done you and your lovely mare:)! Would be great to see a pic of you with your red rosette...
I'm a hackophobe, jumpophobe, anyhorseotherthantheoneifeelsafeonophobe, you've given me a purpose to crack on and beat the fears.
 

OldieButGoodie

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16 August 2017
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Wow! This is just what I need. I've been terrified of jumping for decades but made myself do one (TINY) jump at a Le Trec arena event last October. In the first class my lovely brave horse cleared it no bother (he never says no this one) so I went for it again in the 2nd class and... promptly fell off. Horse did nothing wrong I just became unbalanced on landing and hit the deck. Sadly being 51 I no longer bounce and that was a hard frosty ground. Needless to say I haven't jumped since and if I go to another Le Trec arena event I will probably bypass the jump.

I'm also terrified of hacking. Tonight I'm going out on a short hack with a friend and the last time I ventured out (months ago) I had an unpleasant encounter with a horrible little farmer who effed and blinded at me for letting my horse poo on a road. So I am really not looking forward to this. I will be wearing my hat cam this time tho.
 

mule

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That's really impressive. Well done. That's a big achievem entire. I wonder what went on in your brain during the 48 hours before your thinking started to change
 

JJS

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I'm another who could definitely do with looking into this! I've gone from being an incredibly confident rider to one I barely recognise after some serious issues with my now retired boy. I know that my little coblet has no good reason for losing her head as he used to, but the memories of the last few falls I had on him are always at the back of my mind when I'm on her. Having a year out of the saddle whilst I waited for my surprise baby to mature and the chance to bring her mum back into work probably hasn't helped either!
 

Coblover63

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Absolutely fantastic! Can imagine the shock and the pride you felt, well done you and your lovely mare:)! Would be great to see a pic of you with your red rosette...
Thank you, see if these work...






As you can see in the top pic, Gracie clearly thinks she's doing 2'6"!! lol And the bottom pic is mid-grizzle!!!
 
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Bob notacob

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15 February 2018
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Thank you, see if these work...






As you can see in the top pic, Gracie clearly thinks she's doing 2'6"!! lol And the bottom pic is mid-grizzle!!!
This explains everything. Coloured horses are all natural jumpers! edited to add that I love your horse and his serious jumping face and fancy blue bonnet. Super!So sorry HER serious face,
 
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Coblover63

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It was a bit of lots of things, NLP, EMDR and lights and hypnotherapy (which my brain rebelled against!!) I had EFT homework to do.... but as I came away not feeling any different I only did that for a few days.

Some months later, I reported my reactions back to the therapist...including my initial cynicism and how I'd felt straight after the session...and how things really started to change over the next few days and she said that sometimes the brain just needs some processing time..... a bit like when we back young horses briefly and then turn them away for a few months to process everything before recommencing work.
 

Quigleyandme

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8 March 2018
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So pleased for you and really interested in your story. I'm definitely going to investigate brain training for my fear. Well done and thank you for sharing. I think I experienced a bit of your euphoria vicariously.
 

tda

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It was a bit of lots of things, NLP, EMDR and lights and hypnotherapy (which my brain rebelled against!!) I had EFT homework to do.... but as I came away not feeling any different I only did that for a few days.

Some months later, I reported my reactions back to the therapist...including my initial cynicism and how I'd felt straight after the session...and how things really started to change over the next few days and she said that sometimes the brain just needs some processing time..... a bit like when we back young horses briefly and then turn them away for a few months to process everything before recommencing work.
Would be interested who you used, and how you found them. Just did a quick search for brain training and all it brought up was apps / games.
 

Rumtytum

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12 November 2017
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Love the pics, the grin on your face says it all and Gracie looks so cool, like 'I KNOW I'm a clever girl!' Am so pleased for you both:)
 

Bernster

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Ooh interesting. Good for you. I’m currently dealing with my confidence wobbles by deciding to stick to smaller heights until I feel ready. Not sure if that is the right approach though butI feel less nervous about it!
 

Coblover63

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Bridgnorf, innit!
Not sure if I am allowed to put a link to the lady's website on here, in case it's against the rules, but if anyone would like to PM me, I can send it privately. She's a lovely lady but there are other great practitioners around.
 

southerncomfort

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29 September 2013
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Congratulations! Love the pics, can feel how over the moon you were.

I haven't jumped since I was a teenager but having recently purchased a coloured coblet I'm wondering if I should have another pop at it!! ;)
 
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