You know you are a horseowner when....

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Waffles

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You find yourself spooking at rattly lorries. The other day, I was walking along hand in hand with my husband and I waved at a refuse cart to thank it for slowing down.
 
I pat my cars dashboard when it's made it up a steep hill and tell it it's a good boy... But then it is a freelander so it needs the encouragement! ;)
 
.................and I thought it was only me!:D

I get tense when I see a plastic bag flying down the road, and worry about every piece of ragwort I see.:o
 
...you watch every BBC weather forcast, and also get the Metoffice app to scan in between forcast broadcasts just in case its changed - or is it just me?!
 
There are certain bits on the M4 that have little lumps and your car pops over them...I always see them as jumps....!
 
I had a go on a mechanical horse used in riding lessons a year or so ago at Windsor horse show. I finished, patted it absently, told it that it was a good boy, got off and walked away. Took me a while to work out why my mother was giggling at me.
 
Your entire vegetable crisper contains only apples and carrots.

You find yourself holding bag handles like reins with the strap between your pinky and ring finger (and subconsciously tweak it from time to time when you are tense in the hope it will relax and soften you).

Your OH's work shirts always emerge from the washing machine covered in horse hair (should have washed the saddle pad in the bath instead)

You wouldn't ever head off to the shops in your track suit and minus brushed hair and makeup, however think nothing of parading around town after riding covered in an interesting mixture of hay, horse slobber, molasses, dirt and looking like you have been dragged through a hedge and smelling less than pleasant.

You spend your entire working life trying to swap your shift work roster with your poor suffering colleagues just so you can find time to ride before/after work. And in keeping with this you actively sought out this particular job just so you would have time to ride before/after work and also earn enough to pay to keep your needy in the style to which he has become accustomed.

You can't invite guests to sleep in your spare bedroom as it has somehow become your tack room.

And finally, you sadly have to cancel social engagements and time with the OH as it clashes with riding lessons, hacking out and too good weather to miss the opportunity to ride.

I now understand and why my poor OH was so reluctant for me to get a new horse. :o
 
You arrange a saddle fitting for the day after your wedding...and are driving back from your venue instead of staying the extra night you've paid for to be there :p
 
Pooki that is true dedication!

Since returning to horse ownership I click at the cats to get them to move forward and when they do they get a 'good lad'. More worryingly I now do it to my OH without realising :o
 
Irishbabygirl said:
...you watch every BBC weather forcast, and also get the Metoffice app to scan in between forcast broadcasts just in case its changed - or is it just me?!
Click to expand...

Oh yes!!!
I lean forwards up hills too & eye up plastic bags / flapping clothes too...

In my case, you know you're horsey when your friends start to think you have a problem with leaving the house because most times they invite you out you can't go as you need to put the horses to bed (feeds,muck out,change paddocks, catch the naughty ones, tuck them in etc - then shower to get smell of horses off, wash hair to remove bedding..... run out of time!), also can't possibly go on holiday as too attached to new horse & can't bear to leave her so missing out on holiday i've been waiting for far long!
 
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I find myself inadvertently hand grooming by husband's hair and try to find a scratchy spot.

Oh yes - the riders' tan - hands, face (but cut off halfway down the forehead) and only down to the bottom of your neck where your T shirt starts.
 
"noblesteed: You get offended when people tell you that you are 'looking well'."

Ha ha! Very much so, especially as in 8 months pregnant and I'm getting it loads at the moment! :D
 
You're sat at work and keep getting 'that horse smell' every now and again ... hahahaha eughhh plus you've changed clothes before you got to work and your hands can only get scrubbed so many times without bleeding :eek:
 
Your going to your wedding ceremony and talking to your dad about what shows you are going to do wen you come back from honeymoon and what your instructor said at your last lesson.

Going into a hot shop with your riding coat on as its raining and unleashing odour de cheval, looking around to see whats smelling and realising its yourself.

Walking mud up the hospital corridor as you forgot to change footwear when turning your horse out before work.

Looking at your 16 week old daughter rolling on her playmat and saying to your husband that her hind legs are strong.

My mum pushing said 16 week old daughter around the yard and telling her to kick to walk on. Then when she kicks pushing the pram forwards.

Buying 2 prams - one for off roading up the yard and a clean on for shopping / day to day living. Everyone laughs at this thats non-horsey. All horsey friends thing its a blooming good idea.

When my daughter was first born she would only be settled by being bounced......she used to go to sleep when I was riding when I was pregnant.

And..... my husband sitting my daughter on his knee and bouncing her as though she was riding and pretending to be in a jumping competition with full commentry. However he does keep putting in refusals as "thats what mummy does". Me looking at her sitting position and thinking that she is going to be a natural rider which how she sits.
 
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When you take ancient wreck/car to the garage for a service and tell the mechanic you don't know why its not going very well but it feels like its "behind the movement" and if it fails its MOT this time it'll be a PTS job (mechanic scratches head in puzzlement).

When you are skint and run out of shampoo and conditioner you find yourself raiding the tack-room, and end up washing curly locks with equine "medicated anti-parasitical shampoo" and as you're stuck for conditioner have a spritz of Lynn Russell Mane & Tail conditioner (FANTASTIC stuff - use it all the time now! v.highly recommend :))

When you can't possibly give anyone a lift in your car coz its filled up with feed, hay-bales, tack, rugs, mucky boots, etc etc - not to mention two hairy smelly dogs - plus it stinks of horse.

When you dress up for the evening complete with posh hair-do, jewellery/danglies, posh frock, perfumed up & smelling like a pruning camel - and then on return as p!ssed as a f@rt go down the yard and "do" the horses in stilettos.

You can't help noticing that the good ladies at your local charity shop pick up the air freshener whenever they see you preparing to leave the shop.

Ditto every other shop in town.

You (naturally) spook and check your stride if walking along the pavement/road and encounter a plastic bag, rubbish bin, sweet wrapper, etc etc.

The stables are spotless and smell absolutely gorgeous with new chippings, stable mirror, and horse-toys; meanwhile the house is a tip and was last cleaned when William of Normandy invaded; and stinks of (guess what) horse.

Your body is a wreck: you desperately need a hairdo but can't afford it; your jods are falling apart and positively indecent; your yard boots have got gaps so that your toes are sticking out. Your back is totally kn@ckered and you know you need to see a "back person" but money's a bit tight at the mo; you'd like to try some herbal supplements but they're a bit pricey.

Meanwhile your horse is shod regularly every 6 weeks (costing a fortune); has brand new rugs and travelling set; you've just made a rash purchase for a bridle on e-bay, and the saddle fitter and equine chiro are booked for next week.
 
when you leave your wedding reception early to go and get changed to muck out the horses then go back to the reception for the first dance!

you tell your kids to walk on, stand and trot on!
 
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