Your experience of bonding with a new horse?

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SadKen

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So this evening I took my new lad for a walk in hand in the school, as I only got him on Saturday and don't have tack yet. We were having a nice walk but he was a bit bargey (which I corrected). He also nipped my arm! I told him off for that too. It does still hurt a bit tho! He is only 5, not exactly unexpected, so I corrected and moved on.

His previous owner liked to give him treats and I won't give any. Of course my sensible side knows it takes time to get to know each other etc, but my wussy side is worried that my horse doesn't actually like me! He has also pulled faces over the stable door at me!

Would love to hear anyone's stories of successful bonding with their new horse, especially if you experienced anything similar, and if anyone has any non-treat based bonding suggestions, they would be welcome too!
 
what have you got ? i got my new mare friday night, so early days here as well ! mine is only four, and a bit pushy on the ground, I dont tend to do treats as we are doing things, just a pat and a good girl, but she does get a treat when she goes back in her stable. I think time, and keep consistent with what you do, and they soon get used to it. Hope all goes well and pics be great ! :)
 
Mr Arnie was a bit nippy and grumpy to start with but I made sure I groomed him a lot and spent time in the stable with him and he is now a best mate, loves me (hates other horses) but loves me, comes to call and snuggles :) Give it time, show him why he should like you :)
 
My OH's new horse never did bond with me, despite my having the daily care of him, he would try and bite me when grooming or tacking up, my OH just had to show his face and the big ginger thing was all over him, even falling asleep over my OH's shoulder, still one in a million though.
Sadly he died and his replacement bonded with me from day one, still hasn't bonded with my OH, 7 months on.
We don't feed treats, just give them a rub or pat or scratch their favourite spots
 
He's an arab, he is good really, he does come to be caught and let me pick out feet and touch his ears today despite being headshy and not allowing the latter and being difficult with the former on Saturday... I just can't wait for the day he smiles at me over the door instead of flattening his ears and trying to ninja my pockets! Haha
 
While I appreciate that you have no tack, it could be that he is already getting bored, If he is used to being ridden regularly he may be feeling fresh and if not given something stimulating to do will become more inclined to nip.
I usually ride as soon as possible, they do not need to do much but if they are in work and fairly fit it helps to get into a routine straight away, I have never had a problem with any settling in my yard by doing this.
 
Find their itchy spots and give them a good scratch. :)

Unfortunately young Floss likes to have her bottom rubbed and she reverses towards anyone available.

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Once you have a bridle, take him out for in-hand walks.

ETA, a warning about bridles. You might need a pony bridle with a full size browband. It's quite hard to find an off the peg cob size that fits an arab properly. I took my tape measure to the tack shop and measured various bridles before I bought one. The staff must have thought that I was crazy. :p
 
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Give him 4 or 5 weeks to really settle in. Just keep working on that trust. My 3 yr old looked so lost when I first got him, I actually felt guilty. I spent all the time I could just being with him and not asking too much. He is one big cuddle craving dope and I know he really enjoys my company having built a very special relationship with him.
 
its still really early days so don't stress.
with paddy i also don't feed treats as he has a massive head and when he pushes me i go flying :D

its harder for horses as when we buy them we tend to be in love with them but they don't know who we are so give it time give cuddles and brushes and you will be flying soon enough.
if this helps all my horses before paddy use to follow me around the arena but paddy just looks at me and does his own thing ive had him for 3 years. but he always greets me with a neigh bless him :):)

good luck
xx
 
My horse used to nip/bite me when leading when I first had him. Among other things I never treat him from hand and that has gone a long way to sorting his nipping behaviour out. I do not let anyone else feed him from hand either. My other horses were ok with it but this one is horrible if you start feeding him from yourself.
 
give it a little bit :) my new boy has been with me for a week today and in the uk for 8 days :o

he was a bit of a pain when he first got here (being a stallion) getting excited about the other horses (never been stabled within 8 miles of other horses before) but after 3 days he stopped being silly :) hes now the most chilled horse on the yard and walks past the mares without a glance. hes also beginning to get used to standing still on the yard (hes a fidgit) and is learning that i dont carry a whip with me (from his reactions it looks as if hes previously been beaten :() i sat on him for the first time on saturday... that was interesting ;) and then on monday we long reined... he was absolutely terrified at first (he has done it before in parades) he was rearing and trying to take off when the lines touched his bum and then he realised im not going to hit him i only wanted him to walk around and relax and he did... he walked properly for the first time, he was asking for a low contact and then afterwards he stood on the yard and looked at me while i was un tacking him and it seemed to click and he has been lovely and gentle and has trusted me to do everything since - hes no longer running from me in the field hes actually actively seeking my attention and he is such a lovely horse i have no idea why anyone would be horrible to him but he seems to be getting it :)

it takes time i know Rio wont settle for a few weeks yet but i think he has adjusted to his new routine, the weather and being handled by woman very well :)
 
I'm just starting to really bond with my new boy after about a month. He was very grumpy at first and I was worried he hated me! I remember crying about a week after I bought him because he kicked out when I picked his feet out and caught me in the tummy. I thought I'd made a big mistake! I soon realised he loved having his face brushed and behind his ears scratched and will go to sleep when I do that :)

I'm also learning his little quirks like picking his feet up in a certain order and leaving him alone for a few mins in his stable when brought in before I start grooming/ generally messing with him.

He's getting much less grumpy and a lot more trusting. I think it just takes time for trust to build!
 
I've had to mostly stop treats with Bree as well as it makes her nippy.

She's only 4 as well and was hugely pushy on the ground to start off with, but everyone has been really firm with her and she's a joy to handle now. I know it's a cliche, but I do the Monty Roberts join up thing with her and she responds really well. Goes in the round pen like a total snorty dragon and turns into a black Labrador horse.

Paula
 
Your boy sounds a saint compared to when I bought my mare ;)

I instintly fell in love with her although she was the opposite of what I wanted (a typical chestnut mare for starters :rolleyes:) The lovely welcome I recieved when I went to view her was a set of teeth in my face (accompanied by a run up to the stable door, thats when she decided to even come to the door) the list was endless but low and behold, she arrived at my yard the following week and the nastiness contined... draging (skiing without the snow), biting, kicking, rearing and bucking, was generally pretty nasty, it wasn't pain related either. Anyways, found out she previously hadn't been treated very nice, so kind of explained a few things, I suppose it was her defence mechonism, her way of saying she wouldn't allow anyone to hurt her again. Cue a few months later (blood, sweat, tears, patience and all the inbetween) ..We became the best of friends, I finally started to resolve her trust issues and even though she was still a typical mare at times, she had a heart of gold and tried her absolute hardest for me, she taught and took me through the dressage levels. We were soul mates and I've never had a bond with any other horse like I did with her. The amount of trust she gave me in the end was incredible, it was like she finally let her barriers down and let me in. When she closed her eyes for the last time (sadly I only had the pleasure of being in her life for a year as she had to be PTS due to various problems (long story) I knew she was grateful and thankful that I had given her a chance in life, she was just very misunderstood. She had nothing to thank me for though, it was me who was thanking her for allowing me in and teaching me what it really ment to have a partnership and something so special. I was just grateful that I had the pleasure to be apart of her life, that person who gave her the break she so desperately needed and deserved.

Sorry for the ramble but give it time, it takes a while for a partnership to grow and for them (and you) to realise you can trust eachother.
 
I agree with the join up idea that has been mentioned... me and OH rescued a little mini shetland colt who was very nervous and I did join up with him a couple of times and it def helps to bond!

never needed to do it with my TB as it was love for us both as soon as he stepped hoof of the lorry... :):D
 
Give it time, I was convinced mine didn't give two hoots about me and now I'm sure he only does I as feed him twice a day...

I think we know each other better and got used ot each other and this is after 2 years so it can take a while. I was told it can take 3 years to form a good bond with your horse :)
 
I got my new horse Saturday 3 weeks ago, and sat on him once the day i brought him home. Unfortunately he jumped a 5ft fence the first night even though he had a companion! Luckily alot of soft tissue damage which has required alot of pampering, massaging and tlc. I feel this has really developed a bond between us and touching 17hh tb and me 5'3, im nearly glad and think everything happens for a reason.
I got shoes on him last night as his feet were in a terrible state and sat on once, bought him on a recommendation and paid peanuts.
Took him out tonight and he was AMAZING im gushing!! He's a powerhouse and an amazing point to pointer, but rides in a beautiful outline with a soft responsive mouth which was a nice surprise......so cant wait to event him!!
His polypad etc slipped back so much i had to jump off to adjust, he stood like the gentleman he is while i sorted and sprockled back on.
A picture the first day, looking poor, with bad feet. I think he's an amazing find (or to me anyway) He doesnt even compare to it today now he has been fed and feet sorted
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