You've bought the horse, but somehow "forgotten" to mention it to your significant other ...

Britestar

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Many years ago, my OH came home and said - there are 10 horses in the field. Yes I replied in a puzzled voice. There's a brown one he said. Yes, that's the foal, he's three now 🤷‍♀️.

More recently, a pony "cane to stay for a while". 3 months later he said, I suppose he's not going anywhere now. Of course not! Said pony is now his favourite, not that he normally has much to do with them.
However, due to my accident he's helping me at night to skip out and put haynets in, and this nervous little reject gives him all the cuddles.
 

gallopingby

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Looking after dogs/horses for someone who's ill can work well, sadly the owner often has a relapse but once the animals well settled and happy they recover somewhat only to become seriously ill again usually unexpectedly resulting in either option 1 -maybe they should stay or 2 - oh how sad "Unnamed" person has died they would really have liked them to stay.
 

ArklePig

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My OH recently handed in his PhD so in not wanting to bother him with extra stress at a very stressful time I accidentally went from "Oh yeah I'm on the waiting list, could be months though, who knows, don't worry" to "Stable came free, I am viewing ponies on Saturday" with no in-between which... he did not appreciate. I was genuinely trying to be considerate!
Surely this is the only way to it? Pre covid, 'happened' to be driving past the rescue one day, had 'casually' mentioned the previous day I fancied guinea pigs... And here we are 5 pigs later.

As for horses, we had a Very Serious conversation a few weeks ago about how I could have a pony when we buy a house. OH thought he was being rather clever as I was mid dissertation at the time and thought I'd fancy a break from life stuff after handing it in. I started house hunting the day after I handed it in. Watch this space for the spring :p
 

smolmaus

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Surely this is the only way to it? Pre covid, 'happened' to be driving past the rescue one day, had 'casually' mentioned the previous day I fancied guinea pigs... And here we are 5 pigs later.

As for horses, we had a Very Serious conversation a few weeks ago about how I could have a pony when we buy a house. OH thought he was being rather clever as I was mid dissertation at the time and thought I'd fancy a break from life stuff after handing it in. I started house hunting the day after I handed it in. Watch this space for the spring :p
To be fair the only thing that could take up more of your brain and time than a PhD is a pony so you need to fill that gap with something! ArklePony2022!!!
 

Fransurrey

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If anything I would keep quiet about wanting another as I'm another one with an enabler as an OH. He shows no interest at all in riding, though. He's even worse with cats and chickens. Fortunately I am quite disciplined with all three species and try to keep myself under control!!
 

fidleyspromise

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And that is why I only buy bays, and refer to them as ‘the horses’. Could be 2, could be 4, who can tell…….😁
I can't get away with that as Mr FP looks after mine at least one day a week so he'd notice a new pony in my field.

I have sown the seed this year for the next one-I am expert at the long game :D
I did this. My first plan was to put Tilly in foal but complications meant I spoke to stud and let Mr FP know I need £xxxx in a couple years time. Then in June I found a loan horse and when she goes back next year I may look for something else.
A friend is tagging me in posts and I found one I liked but Mr FP said a definite no 😞
 

Ratface

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Looking after dogs/horses for someone who's ill can work well, sadly the owner often has a relapse but once the animals well settled and happy they recover somewhat only to become seriously ill again usually unexpectedly resulting in either option 1 -maybe they should stay or 2 - oh how sad "Unnamed" person has died they would really have liked them to stay.
Not at all devious, are we?!
I can't get away with that as Mr FP looks after mine at least one day a week so he'd notice a new pony in my field.



I did this. My first plan was to put Tilly in foal but complications meant I spoke to stud and let Mr FP know I need £xxxx in a couple years time. Then in June I found a loan horse and when she goes back next year I may look for something else.
A friend is tagging me in posts and I found one I liked but Mr FP said a definite no 😞
What a devious, untruthful, creative lovely lot you are! My dearly beloved late OH had a slew of Southern Irish-gentry elders die, one after the other. He always enquired if I would like "another big jumping horse"? I declined, with gratitude, pointing out that the one I already had was more than enough. Neither of us ride over jumps now. He's old, somewhat arthritic but doesn't care. I'm old, frail, arthritic and don't want to push my luck. He jogs sideways over spaced out trotting poles! Makes me laugh, every time.
I think we're both daft! Combined age 104.
 

asmp

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We didn’t tell my husband when my daughter bought the spotty one. We had to tell him though when we broke down on the motorway bringing the spotty one home (I’d left the trailer handbrake on all the way there and half way back before I noticed smoke in my mirror 😮 - the brakes had melted).

I can’t remember how many weeks it was he didn’t speak to us! He now tells his friends we have two horses, even though daughter has paid for the spotty one all the way so technically he’s not “ours”.
 

teddypops

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I always read this types of threads in disbelief. It’s like something from the 50s, women having to hide spending money from their husbands! It’s 2021, earn your own money and then spend it as you wish :p
It’s not just women that do it! Men hide what they have bought from their wives, often have men coming into our garage that say ‘don’t tell the wife how much I spent’ My husband often gets asked what he’s going to tell me when he’s bought another car/ motorbike and people are amazed when he tells them it was my idea because their wives would kill them!
 

willowblack

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I only ever bought my daughter grey ponies. Husband would every now and again come to a competition and say “which one is this” and he was never really any wiser. At one point we had 3 grey connies of various sizes and I’m pretty sure he never worked it out! (They are on livery, not at home 🤣) when it comes to horses, the cost of them and also tack, he’s on a need to know basis and so far, he’s not needed to. She’s 20 now 🙈🙈
 

Regandal

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I always read this types of threads in disbelief. It’s like something from the 50s, women having to hide spending money from their husbands! It’s 2021, earn your own money and then spend it as you wish :p
It’s nothing like that. I finance the horses myself, my OH worries that I do too much so I simply don’t enlighten him. I’m actually down to one at the moment, it’s bliss.
 

Jellymoon

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I always read this types of threads in disbelief. It’s like something from the 50s, women having to hide spending money from their husbands! It’s 2021, earn your own money and then spend it as you wish :p
I know, isn’t it awful?!
We really need to get a grip. And I do use my own money, which I have earnt myself, and I still can’t bring myself to admit what I have actually spent on a horse. I guess it’s all ‘family’ money though, now we are married with kids, and it all goes in a pot…but that’s still no excuse.
 

fawaz

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Following on from my other thread about buying unseen ... I'm still on the lookout for my next perfect pony, and have been chatting to lots of horsey pals about it. One friend shared a story about getting a new horse (in addition to her three others) and somehow "forgetting" to mention to her husband that it had arrived!! He only noticed several weeks later when he saw a grey in the field - her other three are all bays. At time of writing, I have to confess through the anonymous medium of the HHO forum, that I have yet to mention to Mr E that I am horse hunting. :p:oops::rolleyes: ... I think he is under the impression that I will be hanging up my boots when Bob is no longer with us ...... So ...shall I keep this as my guilty little secret, or fess up??? Anyone else want to confess their horse buying sins???
Oh yes, my husband doesn't know I have an extra broodmare...

To be fair he wouldn't be able to tell which ones are mine anyway as he has only seen them once.

I do refer to the new girl often but I have never said she is mine (possibly he thinks she belongs to a friend and I just like taking about her).
 

Auslander

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Not my partner, but my parents! As far as they know, Ivan is still a Blue Cross foster, and doesn't cost me a penny. I haven't actually lied to them, but I have withheld the truth. I'm not quite sure why they still worry about my finances so much - I am 49 years old and have managed to keep myself above water for the last 30 years!
 

smolmaus

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Not my partner, but my parents! As far as they know, Ivan is still a Blue Cross foster, and doesn't cost me a penny. I haven't actually lied to them, but I have withheld the truth. I'm not quite sure why they still worry about my finances so much - I am 49 years old and have managed to keep myself above water for the last 30 years!
Ty for saying this, I hadn't realised until now that my mother has actually made... zero negative comments?? This might not be mind-blowing for anyone else but now I've realised it my mind is fully blown 😂
 

Sprat

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Not quite the same but a close friend of mine was due to buy a new sofa with her other half, they had put some money away together for it. He went to work, and came to the yard afterwards, pointed out a new horse cantering around the field and asked who it was. Friend then said 'that's your new sofa' 🤣 🤣 🤣
 

Durhamchance

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I came home at the weekend and slipped in "I've told X that I will contribute towards the next horse... Is that ok" He knew I wasn't asking, although we did sit down a couple of days later and I asked him to confirm it was ok- pointing out that I'd agreed to him taking out a loan to buy a dachshund. He didn't really have a comeback. We put the deposit down yesterday!
 

Annagain

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I would never make such a big purchase without discussing it with my OH (not discuss with, not ask permission ;)) just like he'd never buy another new car without discussing it with me.

I did get a dog without telling him but he was free, OH worked away at the time and it was an emergency situation, the dog really needed a home and it could have been temporary if he'd really objected. OH went to work on Monday and came home on Friday to a dog in the house. He wasn't a very doggy person at the time so wasn't happy but realised I was lonely at home on my own. He soon came round and when we lost him 2 years later, OH was at the dogs' home the next day as he hated not having a dog around.
 

Tarragon

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31 January 2018
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I have a very non-horsey and non-sympathetic OH, but I have reached the age where I do do my own thing when it comes to my ponies. I am the only one working now as we have got to that age, but one of the reasons I keep on working is so that I can keep that financial independence! The other reason is that I actually do enjoy my work and cannot imagine retiring yet. So, he does know what is going on but also knows that he doesn't get much of a say in the matter. I am on the look out for my new riding partner as my main riding pony is off work long-term due to un-diagnosed lameness, but he is very happy and doing a good job as a companion pony for a friend and isn't costing me anything. I explain that if I get another pony, while I might "own" three ponies, I will still only be paying for two. He does have a point that I will be responsible, financially and morally, for three and these arrangements can change at a moment's notice, but I am sure that if that does happen I will be able to sort something. It is tricky when your OH does resent your hobby, and I would love it to be different, but we muddle along. I am certainly open and honest, am careful with how I spend my pony money and wouldn't do something behind his back, but I also will not be asking him if I can get the new pony, he knows I am looking, whatever his thinks, and will know when I have found it.
 
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