Being of the male variety myself, I think that he is trying to prove his masculinity (sp?) in what is seen as a female dominated sport in many blokes eyes. If it is this then he is going about it completly the wrong way.
Does he compete at all? if so enter the same class beat him and then you...
I know someone that had a menage built with fencing but no drainage and that was fine the PP people came out and said they didn't need it aslong as they didn't put drainage in.
If anything just lie and say that the pile of woodchip etc is just being stored there and will be moved shortly lol.
I see what you mean, does seem alot easier to install a switch only need to get dirty once then. Ok ill admit it im just a tight arse when it comes to money.
Instead of chroming you could always polish them. Remove the rust with the wire brush then apply some autosol. It's a cream that restores metal.
I polished the outer rim of a wheel on my old mini moto.
Before
After
I may be sounding like a cheap skate here, but instead of insolating your battery why don't you just remove the leads from the battery? I do this when I go on holiday, I leave the leads of my battery on my car.