“Middle aged woman broke horse”

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zoon

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I’ll admit to stealing that term from Kathleen Beckham, who is an American horse trainer, but that is exactly what I’m trying to produce and I quite liked the phrase.

I’ve found myself at 40 years old, having not ridden another horse other than my own for the last 15 years, with a new unbacked rising 4 year old and I plan to turn him into the above - because I bought the baby horse before I realised I’m now a different person to when I last bought a baby horse in my twenties and I’ve had a sudden realisation that my needs have changed.

While I may still picture myself on the kind of horse I would have ridden at 25, the truth is that THAT horse is probably no longer a good match for me. 40 year old me is not as strong or as balanced. I’m certainly an entirely different shape now and my confidence is far more fragile than my younger self. And I’ve not reached the menopause yet, so really I can’t yet moan all too much about the changes.

So I’ve realised I need a different kind of horse now. I don’t yet want that super safe “you can put your granny on it” plod, but I don’t want to be scared on a regular basis either. I don’t want to produce an overly desensitised or shut down horse, but I need him to be confident and put up with some inconsistency or a little loss of balance because I’m not as athletic as I once was. I need him to be able to take me out competing one weekend (without losing his shit at the banners and flags or being that horse going sideways in the warmup) and then go out for a hack on a loose rein the next weekend. I also need him to be ok with sometimes not being ridden at all without me worrying he’s going to explode when I do get back on.

I’ve inadvertently produced one of these already. He is a rockstar of a horse and is now 15 so should be in his prime, but had a bloody awful injury 2 years ago so his ridden future is still very uncertain. So new horse takes the pressure off him and now I’ve got to remember how to do it all over again 😩
 
zoon said:
I’ll admit to stealing that term from Kathleen Beckham, who is an American horse trainer, but that is exactly what I’m trying to produce and I quite liked the phrase.

I’ve found myself at 40 years old, having not ridden another horse other than my own for the last 15 years, with a new unbacked rising 4 year old and I plan to turn him into the above - because I bought the baby horse before I realised I’m now a different person to when I last bought a baby horse in my twenties and I’ve had a sudden realisation that my needs have changed.

While I may still picture myself on the kind of horse I would have ridden at 25, the truth is that THAT horse is probably no longer a good match for me. 40 year old me is not as strong or as balanced. I’m certainly an entirely different shape now and my confidence is far more fragile than my younger self. And I’ve not reached the menopause yet, so really I can’t yet moan all too much about the changes.

So I’ve realised I need a different kind of horse now. I don’t yet want that super safe “you can put your granny on it” plod, but I don’t want to be scared on a regular basis either. I don’t want to produce an overly desensitised or shut down horse, but I need him to be confident and put up with some inconsistency or a little loss of balance because I’m not as athletic as I once was. I need him to be able to take me out competing one weekend (without losing his shit at the banners and flags or being that horse going sideways in the warmup) and then go out for a hack on a loose rein the next weekend. I also need him to be ok with sometimes not being ridden at all without me worrying he’s going to explode when I do get back on.

I’ve inadvertently produced one of these already. He is a rockstar of a horse and is now 15 so should be in his prime, but had a bloody awful injury 2 years ago so his ridden future is still very uncertain. So new horse takes the pressure off him and now I’ve got to remember how to do it all over again 😩
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I have to say a plod is not born it is made by poor schooling .Other than that I hope all goes well for you.
 
ycbm said:
You'll be fine! I backed my last at 63, as Equi says, the experience compensates for the decreasing athleticism. You've got to keep us updated on the thread for 3 and 4 year olds though. Pretty please 🙏.
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Absolutley, I am about to back my new project and am 64, looking forward to getting my pension in two months time.
 
I backed my first ever youngster last May at 64, having only had my own horses since I was 48, and before that a 30 year break from horses.
I did lots of desensitizing, lots of hand walking, and I planned the backing meticulously and incrementally, and got experienced help on the ground for the first few sessions on board. I reckoned "now or never" on something I always dreamed of. She's rising 6 now and we are solo hacking with no drama.
 
I’m the same (and a big fan of Kathleen beckhams writing and podcast too). I’m backing my first youngster at age 56. Got her as a rising 3 year old a year ago. Slowly building a solid foundation. Lots of groundwork and in hand walking both solo and in company. She’s coming along steadily. Recently backed but taking our time. It’s a fun process!
 
My last horse was my fairly solid 10 year old that I'd had since he was 4. I didn't ride for 2 years between him and backing my young horse as a 3 year old. We all lived to tell the tale!

Can't wait to here more about your journey with your youngster!
 
Its how you back them, experience trumps bravery! This picture is an extremely welll bred dressage horse, he is 5yrs old in the picture, happily hacking solo since he was backed at four, and successful in competition too. I backed him in my late 40's, but I have been backing horses since I was a child, dont worry it'll all come back to you, and you can work n your strength and balance.
 

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Last week I was wibbling about taking my youngster (6, owned him since a foal, brought on and backed by me slowly as he kept growing, I'm a post-meno 60) on his first solo trailer trip to a new venue for him for a group riding polework lesson (all new for him). I wibbled a lot, many "what ifs" in my head, and said to my hubby about my lack of confidence now compared to when I was younger.
Hubby's brilliant reply was "Turn it on its head. When you were young, you had far less experience and knowledge than what you have now. So you are in a much better position now aged 60 than at 32. And you have many many more tools in your bag to deal with all sorts of situations. So go trailer him with confidence."
Aww, luv my hubby.
(It was a successful outing)!
 
zoon said:
I’ll admit to stealing that term from Kathleen Beckham, who is an American horse trainer, but that is exactly what I’m trying to produce and I quite liked the phrase.

I’ve found myself at 40 years old, having not ridden another horse other than my own for the last 15 years, with a new unbacked rising 4 year old and I plan to turn him into the above - because I bought the baby horse before I realised I’m now a different person to when I last bought a baby horse in my twenties and I’ve had a sudden realisation that my needs have changed.

While I may still picture myself on the kind of horse I would have ridden at 25, the truth is that THAT horse is probably no longer a good match for me. 40 year old me is not as strong or as balanced. I’m certainly an entirely different shape now and my confidence is far more fragile than my younger self. And I’ve not reached the menopause yet, so really I can’t yet moan all too much about the changes.

So I’ve realised I need a different kind of horse now. I don’t yet want that super safe “you can put your granny on it” plod, but I don’t want to be scared on a regular basis either. I don’t want to produce an overly desensitised or shut down horse, but I need him to be confident and put up with some inconsistency or a little loss of balance because I’m not as athletic as I once was. I need him to be able to take me out competing one weekend (without losing his shit at the banners and flags or being that horse going sideways in the warmup) and then go out for a hack on a loose rein the next weekend. I also need him to be ok with sometimes not being ridden at all without me worrying he’s going to explode when I do get back on.

I’ve inadvertently produced one of these already. He is a rockstar of a horse and is now 15 so should be in his prime, but had a bloody awful injury 2 years ago so his ridden future is still very uncertain. So new horse takes the pressure off him and now I’ve got to remember how to do it all over again 😩
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If it’s at all helpful I’ve been keeping a log of progress with my horse (who is the same age as yours) as we got started. It’s on a tab called ‘building a horse’ on my compassionatehorsemanship.co.uk website. She’s my first youngster so I just wanted to keep track and if it’s helpful to others then great. Everyone has their own path and way of doing things. I have found there’s quite a lot of one step forwards two steps back at times and progress is not linear at all. But I think it’s crazy that we expect it to be really!
 
I bought mine in 2021, I was 54. He was bought unseen: just backed 4yo from Ireland.

I have just done things at my own pace. I've had some unbelievably stressful years, first mum dying, which was expected, then my husband suddenly dying, which was not. He's been put into and out of work as and when I have felt too low/exhausted to work him. I have also got help whenever I have felt overwhelmed.

I think the key is buying the right raw material. He's not the bravest, not the most athletic, not the sharpest tool in the box TBH, but I am enjoying him hugely now and I only have a year and a bit until I'm 60.

At first, I kind of resented his laid-back-ness, but now I relish it. When I bought him, I intended to do small events, but I now have no competitive ambitions at all.

3 weeks ago he was at Somerford camp, level headed at all times in the busy environment...

https://www.tiktok.com/video/7483454633520663830

Yesterday, I boxed him up on his own to a place I haven't hacked before. We had to park on a housing estate, there were many dogs and prams, loads of new stuff, and we both had a ball.

https://www.tiktok.com/video/7488714256758705430

We had the odd blip along the way, not least as he has had to come second while I sorted my life out, but, because he was the right raw material, any issues can be amicably worked out.

I would consider a younger one for this reason, that the lovely older ones tend not to come on the market. You are currently riding, you have done it before and you can buy-in help. But, I would choose one that is perhaps a lot 'colder' blood than the rockstar of a horse you produced already.

I also recommend HRT! It is a game-changer where nerve is concerned.
 
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My rescue is Irish

So different to the others. When first backed he travelled everywhere at 90 miles an hour

One day he spooked at something and I was hanging off the side nearly on the ground, he just stopped letting me fall on the ground, no panic, I loved him before, but seeing how calm he could be I loved him more
 
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